Authors: Julie Frayn
August shut her eyes and let hot water engulf her, easing the chill from the driving rain.
“Two minutes!”
The voice jarred her from her self indulgence and she hastily washed her hair and ran soap over her body. She stepped out with a meager towel wrapped around her and grasped it shut over her breasts, the over-washed cotton rough against her skin. She rushed to put on her bra and panties.
Amber dressed beside her, unashamed of her naked body, not even trying to cover herself from the eyes of the other girls. “Hey, why didn’t you get new jeans? Those are torn and crappy.”
August rubbed her hands on the soft denim and easily zipped them shut. “I love these. They’re my favorites. And they fit better now. I guess I’ve lost a bit of weight.”
“Yeah, garbage grub will do that to you. Good choice on the t-shirt. Better than that plaid snappy thing you had before.”
August rubbed the towel through her hair and pulled the comb from her pocket. “Damn knots.”
“Here, let me.” Amber took the comb and sat August down on a bench. Then she pulled the comb through August’s hair, working out the tangles.
August closed her eyes. It was like being ten again, when her mother combed her hair and sang her to sleep. A tear slid down her cheek. She wiped it away and opened her eyes to find Ricki standing in front of her, arms crossed, face contorted by a smirk.
“Holy fuck. Are you lovers now, too?”
August stared at her. “What’s the matter? Jealous?”
Amber laughed. “Yeah, what’s up with that? You got a little lesbian crush on me, Rick?” She handed August the comb, put both hands on August’s shoulders and squeezed. “Come on. I’m beat.”
August followed Amber, wending her way through the rows of mats. Reese was sitting on his, reclining against the wall. She smiled at the sight of his long body, his feet almost off the end of the mat even though he was sitting up.
A scrawny boy about August’s height stepped in behind Amber and stood in the aisle, blocking August’s path. She moved left to go around him but he hopped in front of her. She moved right, he hopped that way. “Hey baby. You’re new.”
She cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me. Can you please let me pass?”
He took a slow look at her from head to toe then leered. He grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him, then shoved her down on a mat. He landed on top of her and put his hand up her shirt.
She screamed and slapped at his face and the side of his head. Reese was suddenly behind him, and yanked him off of her, then threw him on the floor. Reese held the boy’s shoulder down with his left hand and punched him in the face with his right.
“Reese, stop it.”
He didn’t stop. He just kept punching until the boy’s face was bloody.
“Reese!”
He looked at her, his arm frozen in mid-swing, blood staining his knuckles.
Two shelter workers ran up the aisle. A huge man with “Harmony House” emblazoned on the pocket of a baby blue golf shirt pulled Reese off the boy and Mary knelt down beside him. The boy wiped his nose with the back of one hand and held his bloody hand up in front of his face. Then he laughed.
“He attacked me,” August said. “He grabbed my, up my…” She broke down into tears. “He attacked me.”
Reese wrenched his arm free of the man’s grip and surrounded her in an embrace. She buried her face in his chest and let him hold her up, her legs too weak to bear her full weight.
“All right, that’s your last chance,” Mary said.
August peered at her. Mary dragged the boy out of the room. He looked over his shoulder and winked at August.
“Come on.” Reese held her up and guided her back to her mat.
Amber met them half way and hugged her. “Are you all right, hon? That asshole is always trying shit like that.”
“I’m okay. Thanks.”
August sat next to Reese on his mat and he handed her a sandwich. “For you my lady. Fresh and not pre-bitten.”
“Thanks.” She took the sandwich. Her hands shook and she struggled to peel open the plastic wrap. She leaned against his shoulder and bit into turkey, mayonnaise, tomato, and soggy bread.
She ran her fingers above Reese’s bloody knuckles. He wasn’t shaking one bit. She was torn between worrying about the ferocious look in his eye while he beat the crap out of that boy, and loving him for doing it. “Did you see the way Mary picked that kid up and hauled him out of here?”
Reese nodded. “Yeah. You don’t fuck with Mary. She’s a tough old bitch.”
“Ten minutes to lights out!” A woman stood at the door in jeans and a blue golf shirt. It was the voice of the shower timer. Her wiry frame was in stark contrast to Mary’s doughy body, and she looked even tougher.
Reese tapped August’s arm. “Here, new toothbrushes. And good paste.”
They both used the bathroom and brushed their teeth, meeting again on the mat.
The man with the golf shirt wandered up and down the aisles, stopping at the foot of Reese’s cot. “You two, split. Get on your own bed, dear.” He pointed a flashlight at the empty mat assigned to August, just four feet away across the yellow line.
August sighed and glared at the man, then did as she was told. Better than getting kicked out into the rainy night.
“Good night,” Reese whispered.
The lights went out and plunged the room into darkness. The space fell silent except for the squeaking sneakers of the golf shirt brigade. Beams of light bobbed in the darkness, the flashlights making sure everyone stayed put.
When her eyes became accustomed to the dark and the flashlights were on the other side of the room, August slid from under the meager blanket and snuck over to Reese. He held his blanket up and she crawled in with him.
They lay on their sides facing one another, Reese’s arm under her neck, the blanket pulled up to their shoulders.
She blinked and ran her tongue over her lips. The close contact and his breath on her face made her heart hurt. She had dropped him so many hints. Why didn’t he want to kiss her? Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe he didn’t really like her at all, didn’t care one way or the other.
“Why don’t you use your real name?” she said, whispering against the silence. “I thought no one was looking for you.”
“It’s just for fun, a game. And when I have a run-in with the cops, I don’t want to leave a trail.” He brushed hair from her face, a gesture he’d performed so many times. “Maybe we should give them your real name. If your family is looking for you, then they could find you. You could go home. I know you’re pissed at your mom, but it has to be better than this.”
“Don’t you want me to stay?”
He swallowed hard. “Yes. But that’s selfish. I have no right. You deserve better. Somewhere that assholes aren’t grabbing at you.”
“Guys grabbed at me when I was home too. And maybe I want to be selfish for a change. I want to stay. With you.”
They stared at each other in silence. Her eyes traced the lines of his face in the shadows, pausing at the curve of his upper lip.
”Why haven’t you kissed me?”
He drew back. “I… I...” He swallowed again. “I want to.” He looked away, his eyes darting around the room until he brought his gaze back to her. “I like having you around. I don’t want to scare you away, do anything to make you leave. And it’s weird, but you – you make me nervous.”
“Nervous? That’s silly.”
“I guess. I don’t remember ever being nervous before.” His breath was coming in quick, short puffs. “But I am.”
“I’m not.”
August leaned toward him, never taking her eyes off his. When he leaned in, she closed her eyes. Their lips brushed together. Her heart beat a wild rhythm. She brought her hand up to his face and ran her fingers through his damp hair, then pressed her lips to his.
A light shone against her closed eyelids.
“Hey break it up you two.”
She pulled away and looked directly into a flashlight, the shadow of the shower timer looming behind. She put her hand up against the beam.
“Come on, get on your own mat. What you do outside is your business, but in here, nothing doing.”
“All right, all right.” Reese shaded his eyes from the light and rolled onto his back.
August kissed his cheek then slid off the mat and climbed onto hers, the four feet between them an enormous chasm.
Guy snorted, starting a chorus of giggles around them. Then Reese laughed.
The shower timer spun around. “All right, calm down.” She walked away, making sure no other kids in love dared to be together.
August looked across to find Reese watching her. She reached out her arm and they clasped hands across the aisle.
“Tomorrow? What page?” Caraleen held the receiver with both hands, breathless and flushed. She turned to Don who sat at the table, leaning forward on his elbows, a short glass with two fingers of bourbon cupped in both hands. “Okay, thank you so much.” She hung up the phone and let out a whoop.
Don jumped up and hugged her. “What page?”
“Front page of the local news section. Not front, front page, but better than buried between petty crime and classified ads. He got her photo from the police and they gave him some stats on runaways. He liked that she is a farm kid. Said that was a good hook for the high-falutin’ city readers. Maybe they’d feel sorry for her.”
She flopped into a kitchen chair, took a swig of the wine Don had poured her, then laid her head on her arms and wept. “Why’d we let her watch that damn movie?” she said into her arms.
“It wasn’t the stupid movie. August has always wanted more, always dreamed big.”
Caraleen lifted her head and glared at him. “And
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
showed her some fantasy of that. But it’s not real. Doesn’t she know that? Didn’t she understand how that woman could live like that? What she did for men to live like that?”
“I think she just saw clothes and makeup and jewels and buildings. All the things Adaleen has. All the things August wants.” He drank the remainder of his bourbon in one gulp. “Maybe we’ve been too hard on her. Too strict.”
Caraleen pushed back in her chair, her palms against the table, arms rigid. “We’ve been too strict? You mean me.”
“We both set the rules.”
“And you let her break them at every turn. Damn it, Don, you make me be the bad guy and you’re her bloody hero. Want to wear makeup? Just ask Daddy. Want to go out with friends when she’s grounded? Just ask Daddy.”
“Whoa, hold on. You’re saying it’s my fault she ran away?”
Caraleen glared at him. “I’m saying you blurred the boundaries. I say no, you say yes.”
They usually reserved yelling for the cornfield, where their daughters couldn’t hear them.
“Oh, come on.” Don cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
He pressed his lips into a thin line. “A movie here and there with friends, a little makeup. That’s no big deal.”
“It is to her. She just wants more. And I was always the mean one who took it away.” She crossed her arms. “Did you know she was dating that boy?”
“What? Of course not. I never said she could do that.”
“August says it’s over, but damn it. They dated for months without us even knowing.”
Don’s eye’s narrowed. “Maybe the rules are too strict for a sixteen-year-old. And maybe you do enforce them too harshly. She just wants to do what other girls her age do. Come on, try to remember being sixteen.”
“I do. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
He reached across and covered her hand with his. “When she figures out that the city is no place for her – that the movie was just fiction – she’ll come home.”
“You’d better be right.”
August jolted awake. A whistle sounded repeatedly, its sharp warble piercing the air. She sat up and tried to focus but didn’t recognize her surroundings. She rubbed her eyes and looked around.
Right. The shelter.
Amber was standing and stretching, Guy sat beside Ricki poking her shoulder while she tried to swat his hand away.
August looked in all directions, her stomach hollow.
“Amber, where’s Reese?”
Amber rolled her blanket and looked around the room. “Don’t know. Maybe in the can.”
“Okay everybody, let’s go!” An older woman wearing a priest’s collar and black shirt tucked into high-waisted jeans stood at the exit gathering blankets and pillows from kids on their way out. The four of them made their way to the door. “Get your bathroom time done quick, breakfast will be over in thirty minutes,” the woman said to anyone within earshot as they filed past. “Come back on Sunday. I’ve a new sermon and we’re talking about overcoming addiction.”
Breakfast was served in a room filled with rows of tables in long lines. Kids lined up cafeteria style, oatmeal and a piece of fruit was dropped onto metal trays.
August searched the faces. No Reese. By the time they sat on folding chairs to eat her stomach churned and her hands shook.
“Where did he go? Why would he leave?”
Ricki rolled her eyes. “Chill, would ya? He’s probably just shooting up.”
“Shit, Ricki.” Amber sat back in her chair and peeled a banana. “You know he doesn’t want to do that anymore. What day is this?”
Ricki counted on her fingers. “Wednesday maybe?”
“There you have it,” Guy said. “He has a standing, um, appointment – every second Wednesday, early like.”
August pushed her oatmeal away and chewed on her thumbnail. “Why didn’t he tell me about it?”
“What, one lame kiss and you’re fucking married now?” Ricki spoke through a mouth full of oatmeal and apple.
August crossed her arms and glared at Ricki. “No. But how will we find him?”
Guy put his arm around her shoulder. “Relax, September. He’ll find us.”
August picked up the spoon and dipped it in the oatmeal. She sniffed it, inhaling the scent of wet cardboard. She wrinkled her nose and dropped the spoon into the bowl. Her stomach growled at her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to put anything in her mouth.
Amber pushed the bowl toward August. “Eat, honey. You’ll be sorry later if you don’t.”
*****
August trailed behind the others on the park path. She cracked her knuckles and clenched her jaw. Damn him, why didn’t he take her with him? Or at least tell her he was leaving. She scanned the horizon, and slapped her palms against her thighs. She walked backwards for a few steps making sure he wasn’t coming up behind her. When she turned around, Amber was waiting in the path and motioned for her to hurry up.
She was being an idiot. She didn’t have any right to be mad, he wasn’t hers to control. What the hell was wrong with her? She hardly knew him, but couldn’t think of anything else. He wasn’t like any boy she’d ever known. He was no hick, no redneck, no bad-mannered groping jackass. He was a gentleman. Prince Charming. Romeo.
She laughed to herself and shook her head. Yup. Homeless Romeo.
A block ahead she saw his long hair shining in the sunlight. His face bobbed above the other people on the sidewalk, as if dismembered from the rest of him. He worked his way through the crowd and came into full view. She beamed at the sight of him. When she caught his eye he smiled and waved, then jogged straight to her. He picked her up and swung her around then held her close. He stared into her eyes and slid her down his body until her feet hit the ground.
“Sorry I disappeared. I didn’t want to wake you. I have a standing date. It pays great so we should be good for a couple of days if we’re careful.”
Her anger melted away at the sound of his voice. How could she demand he tell her his every move? She just wanted to go along for the ride for as long as he’d let her.
“Are you two coming or what?” Ricki stood in the path, her arms crossed. “Haul a little ass.”
August took a deep breath and pulled away, taking Reese’s hand. They jogged to catch up with the others.
Amber lit a cigarette and took a long drag. “So what fun shall we have today, hm? I’m thinking I’ll go pick up a couple of dates. I’d like something decent to eat tonight.”
“Me too.” Guy took the cigarette Amber offered him and another that he handed to Ricki.
“Yeah, me three.” Ricki threw August a disgusted look. “What about you, virgin baby. You ready to pull your weight yet?”
Reese tightened his grip on August’s hand. “We’re good. We’ll catch up with you later.”
Ricki huffed smoke out her nose. “You can’t take care of her forever you know.”
“Watch me.”
“I’d rather not.” Ricki flicked her lit cigarette at Reese. It bounced off his jacket and landed in the grass. She turned and stomped away. Guy fell in behind her.
Amber shrugged and followed. “Later,” she called over her shoulder.
August stared at their retreating backs. “Why does Ricki hate me so much?”
“She hates everybody.” Reese stooped and picked up the cigarette. He sucked a long drag then butted it on the sole of his shoe. “She’s never happy when someone new comes along, it takes forever for her to come around. Just ignore her.”
Easy for him to say. The withering looks and obvious disdain were starting to get on her nerves. But what could she do to change it? She shook it off and looked up at him. The sun glinted off his eyes and bounced off his hair. He was so shiny this morning. “So, what are we going to do? Is there anything fun?”
Reese laughed. “Well, nothing for free.”
“I want to go shopping.”
His brows furrowed. “Okay, I guess. But that’s not really being careful with our cash.”
Our cash. Her heart melted. “I don’t want to buy anything. Just see the stores. I want to go to Tiffany’s”
He laughed. “We wouldn’t get past security. But we could go to the mall. Maybe even get some grub. Some of it’s pretty cheap.”
*****
They stepped through the double door entry of the mall into a four story atrium. Sunlight filled the cavernous space, streaming in from the windows of the arched ceiling. Escalators full of people crisscrossed the building. August drew in a quick breath. It was beautiful. Too bad Sara wasn’t here to see it.
No, screw Sara, she’s seen enough. It’s April who would love it most. And even her mother. Even she couldn’t be cheap in a place like this.
They wandered the mall hand-in-hand, peeking in windows and doors. The clothes on display in one window were too enticing to pass by and she pulled him inside. They flipped through racks and rubbed fabrics between their fingers. She put a red dress to her face and inhaled the new clothes smell.
“What are you doing?” Reese looked at her with a bemused smile.
“I’ve never owned anything new.”
Reese pulled the sleeve of the dress to his nose and sniffed. “Try it on.” He turned to a rack beside him a pulled off a black felt hat. “And this.”
She giggled. “Are you sure? Will they let me?”
“Why not? They don’t need to know you can’t buy it. Everybody tries stuff on.”
She approached a woman at the entry to the change room. She stared at her feet. “Can I try these on?”
“Sure. How many?”
“Just two.”
The woman handed her a plastic tile with ‘2’ on it and unlocked a cubicle.
August turned around and smiled at Reese who was waiting just outside the entry. He winked at her. She closed the door and quickly stripped off her old, crappy clothes and pulled on the dress. She eyed herself in the mirror and swiveled her hips side to side. The full skirt of the dress swirled around her thighs. She licked her palm and smoothed her hair, then set the hat on her head, angling it like she’d seen in Cosmo.
She was transformed. Not a gawky teenage girl looking for adventure, but a woman who’d already lived it.
She pulled open the door and stepped out.
Reese stared at her, his jaw slackened and his eyes wide. He gave his head a quick shake. “Wow. You look amazing. Gorgeous.”
She could not stop smiling. Every part of her tingled. She spun around, the skirt twirling high. So what if it showed too much leg or if he saw a flash of her white cotton underpants? She ran toward him and jumped into his arms, hugging him.
When she pulled away he looked sad. “What’s wrong?”
“I wish I could buy it for you.”
She brushed a hand against his cheek. “I don’t need it. Where would I wear it, the shelter?”
His eyes squinted and a brief smile appeared.
“Just trying it on was perfect. Thank you.”
“How’d you get so sweet?”
Her cheeks flushed with warmth and she looked away. “Sunshine and pig shit I guess.”