Authors: Carla Parker
Chapter 3
As Cody walked inside, I stood in the doorway staring at him. Had I heard him right? Had he just complimented me on my looks? My head was spinning, and I had no idea what to think. Already this weekend was off to a completely different start than I’d anticipated. I’d figured that by now I would be desperate to get away from him, but that wasn’t the case at all.
I realized that I was very intrigued about whatever changes he’d gone through. He’d clearly grown up and matured since I’d last seen him. The changes were reflected both in his physical appearance and in his demeanor.
Once I’d regained my composure, I followed him into the house. He was sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, punching buttons on his phone.
“I can see why you guys always wanted to come out here,” he said.
I sat down on the couch next to him. I made sure that there was plenty of space between us. But deep down I really wanted to be much closer.
“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” I said. “Why didn’t you ever want to come?”
“I don’t know. I just needed my space, you know, and I always feel sort of suffocated during those big family gatherings.”
“I know what you mean,” I told him. “I like space too. That’s why I came here this weekend.”
Cody flashed a pair of smiling eyes my way. I could feel my heart beating hard in my chest when he looked at me. There was something about his green eyes that seemed to penetrate my soul. It’d been long time since a man had looked at me with such intensity and playfulness. It was an odd combination, a combination that just made me that much more interested in him.
I leaned towards him, anxious for what he would say next.
“So it seems like we have something in common after all,” he said. His face lit up with a big smile. There was something mischievous in that smile, but I tried to ignore it. I was happy that we were getting along.
“Yes, so it seems,” I said, smiling and crossing my arms against my chest. I felt like I needed to take a step back. I didn’t know what was coming over me but I felt myself growing more and more attracted to him. This is not how I envisioned this encounter going.
Before he got here, all I could think about was how I was going to keep him away from me, but within a few minutes of interacting with him that thinking had completely changed. Now I was hanging off his every word, paying attention to every last detail about him. I didn’t know what was coming over me. I was usually so calm and poised. What did it all mean?
“Don’t worry,” Cody said. “I won’t be bothering you. I know you’ve probably got tons of work to get done.”
I shook my head vigorously. “No, no, no,” I said. “You’re not going to bother me. Don’t worry.”
Maybe I sounded a bit too insistent or maybe even desperate. Cody turned his head towards me slowly and smiled. His smile and the confident, self-assured look in his eyes made me blush. I lowered my eyes and hopped off the couch. I hurried into the kitchen and opened the fridge.
“You want a beer?” I offered.
“Sure,” Cody answered.
I pressed the cold beer can against my hot and sweaty forehead. The cold felt incredible. I took several deep breaths and tried to get a hold of my emotions. It was difficult. There was a new energy and excitement coursing through my veins. My mood had completely changed from earlier in the day. Suddenly I felt more alive and more present in the moment. I couldn’t believe that my stepbrother was causing all of these changes within me.
As I walked back over to the couch with the beers, I could feel Cody’s eyes looking me up and down, but this time, I didn’t lower my eyes and blush. Instead, I did my best to maintain eye contact with him. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t one of the silly little girls that he was used to hooking up with at school. I wanted him to know that I was a grown woman and I wasn’t going to fall for any of the cheap tricks that got him sex down in the city.
I handed him the beer and sat down. I made sure to sit a few inches closer than before. He immediately noticed this. I thought that maybe he would back up. But instead, he scooted a few inches closer to me as well.
“Are you still angry with me for all the times I made fun of you?” he asked. His green eyes glittered. They were full of mirth.
“Not if you’ve forgiven me for all the times I told mom and dad about you sneaking around with girls.”
He smiled, leaned his head back and took a slow sip of the beer. “It wasn’t even that many girls,” he said.
“Ha,” I laughed, almost spitting out the beer I had in my mouth. “Not that many girls? Are you serious?”
“Well, okay… Some weekends did get a little crazy, but I’ve gotten most of that stuff out my system by now.”
“Oh really?” I pried. I was very skeptical that he’d left his bed-hopping ways behind him. He was certainly attractive enough to have women coming in and out of his apartment.
“You can’t tell that I’m a changed man?” He asked.
I smiled and shook my head no. “Why would you be?” I asked. “You go to a great school and live in an apartment off campus. I’m sure you get plenty of girls.”
“Is that right?” he said, taking another sip on his beer.
I watched his lips as he closed his eyes and drank. They were much fuller and sexier than I had remembered.
“Besides, you look really good,” I said. Once those words had come out of my mouth, I felt a deep sense of shame and embarrassment. What had I just said? What the hell was happening to me?
I needed to get out of there as soon as possible. I started thinking that I should have just stayed in the city for the weekend. That would have been the smart thing to do. There was no way that I should have come up here once I found out that it would only be me and Cody.
I made a move to get off the couch, but Cody reached out and grabbed my wrist.
He stared deeply into my eyes. “Where are you going?” he asked.
I lowered my eyes, blushing. I brushed a tangle of hair from my face and made eye contact with him. For the first time, I noticed something soft and tender in his eyes. I didn’t know where it had come from or what it meant, but he was beautiful when he looked like that.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t know what came over me.”
He still had his hand on my wrist. “Please sit down,” he said. “There’s no reason for this to be awkward.”
“I’m sorry. I have to go upstairs,” I said. “I’m really sorry.”
I got up off the couch and hurried upstairs into one of the bedrooms. I locked the door behind me and laid down on the bed. My heart was racing, and my whole body was covered in sweat. It was so ridiculous for me to be acting this way.
The image of Cody’s beautiful green eyes kept surging back into my mind. This was not the stepbrother I remembered. He wasn’t the immature little boy that had always gotten on my nerves. He had become someone I was actually attracted to, someone I might actually consider dating, but that thought was too much for me. I felt like I was going out of my mind. There was no way that I could actually be thinking this.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I shot up in the bed, terrified that he would knock on the door. I couldn’t handle seeing him. Not right now. Not until I figured out all the mixed emotions that were bubbling inside of me.
But I wouldn’t have time for that. The footsteps slowly approached the door and then they came to a stop just outside the door. I tried to hold my breath as I waited for him to knock. I thought that maybe he was trying to listen out for any sounds I was making.
Then I heard his fist gently knocking against the door.
I couldn’t face him right then. I just couldn’t, but there was nowhere for me to escape. I put my head in my hands.
His fist knocked against the door several more times.
Without thinking about it, I screamed out, “I’ll be right there. One minute!”
The knocking stopped. I gathered my thoughts and got off the bed. What had I gotten myself into?
“Charlotte, is everything ok? I hope I didn’t do anything to offend you.”
Now I felt more embarrassed than ever. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was my fault. I suddenly didn’t know how to control my emotions. This wasn’t like me. My friends would be so surprised. They’d be especially surprised if they found out the cause of this inner turmoil I was going through.
I knew I had to open the door. I didn’t want him thinking that I was angry with him. I wasn’t. I was more upset with myself than anything else.
I opened the door and slowly raised my eyes to meet his. He stared at me with warmth and kindness. I kept my arms crossed against my chest. I still felt vulnerable.
“Was it something I said?” he asked.
I brushed hair out my face and looked at him. I had a strong urge to wrap my arms around him. I wanted to hold him and I wanted him to hold me, but I had no idea how to make that happen in a way that wasn’t completely awkward for both of us.
“No, no,” I told him. “You didn’t say anything wrong. Nothing at all.”
“Well, why did you come running up here?” he asked.
I sighed and looked away. I couldn’t handle the intensity of his eyes. If I looked at him for too long, he would surely be able to read my thoughts. I definitely didn’t want that.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “I think I just need to rest. That’s all.”
“Ok, that’s cool. You get some rest, and I’ll go to town and get us some food.”
“That sounds good,” I said. “What do you have in mind?”
“Anything you want, babe,” he said smiling brightly, but his smile quickly went away.
He could see that I was staring at him with a confused expression. Had he really just called me ‘babe’? Who did he think I was?
“Um, I’m sorry about that,” he said. “I don’t know what came over me. It just sort of slipped out.”
There’s no way it had just slipped out. He must have been having the same naughty thoughts that I was. This was so weird.
I felt like taking his face in my hands and planting a soft, wet kiss on his lips. The sexual tension between us was almost unbearable. I needed a release right then. I took a step closer to him, but he backed up. He looked flustered.
“I think I’ll get some pizza,” he said, “and maybe a bottle of red wine. How does that sound?”
Before I could reach out for him and taste his lips, he was walking down the stairs and preparing to head into town. I stood in the doorway for a few moments, not quite sure what had just happened. It had seemed like we were on the cusp of becoming intimate. The chemistry and attraction was definitely there between us, but would we be able to overcome the sense that we were doing something wrong? What would the rest of our family members say if they ever found out about something happening between us?
All of those worries and anxieties swirled around my head. He wouldn’t be gone for that long, and before he came back, I needed to gather my thoughts. I was supposed to be the older more mature one, but I was acting just as nervous and awkward as he was. I would have never imagined our relationship going in this direction.
Maybe I was fooling myself. Maybe I’d always been attracted to him and trying to get my parents to stop him from bringing girls over to the house was just me acting out of jealousy. It seemed crazy to me, but it kind of made sense. No. There was no way that I’d been attracted to him all these years. There was no way.
The sound of a car pulling into the driveway snapped me back to my senses. He was back already. And I still hadn’t figured anything out. I was probably more confused than ever.
The car door slammed shut, and I heard Cody’s boots marching up the front porch. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Just act normal, I told myself. There’s no reason for this to be awkward.
But even as I was saying those things out loud to myself, I knew that they weren’t true. I knew that it would be almost impossible for me to act normal around him.
If only I had a boyfriend or was dating somebody, then I wouldn’t have come up here alone and none of this would be happening, but I didn’t know whether or not that was true. What if I’d always been attracted to him?
I couldn’t handle any more worrying. I hoped that the pizza and wine would calm me down and take my thoughts in another direction.
When I got downstairs, I saw the pizza box on the dining room table and two glasses of wine.
Cody looked at me and smiled. “I hope this isn’t too formal or anything,” he said. “I don’t want you to think that I’m trying to impress you or anything.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was making fun of me or not, so I decided to just play along.
“Yes, I’m very impressed, Cody. Very impressed, indeed.”
“I got half mushroom and half pepperoni,” he said. “I hope that works for you.”
“That’s fine,” I said, “but I think what I really need is a glass of wine.”
“Of course,” he said. “Let me get the bottle open and pour us some.
He uncorked the bottle and began filling the glasses. There was something so smooth and sophisticated about him. It was something that I’d never noticed and couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it was definitely there.