Rogue Wave (The Water Keepers, Book 2) (7 page)

I pressed my lips lightly, almost cautiously against his. As soon as I felt the warm brush of his touch, I froze, lingering so close I could feel his breath on my face.

What was I doing? And why wasn’t Rayne stopping me?

He didn’t wait for me to figure it out. His hand pressed against my back, pulling me to him, causing energy to pulse through my limbs. Our lips met again, this time colliding with fervent heat as we left all restraint abandoned. It was pure release; passion and longing and bottled frustration boiling over all at once.

I clutched tighter around his neck, giving in to repressed desires. I had to have him. I couldn’t control it. His mouth continued to move wildly against mine, but the reckless intensity began to overwhelm me. It was almost to the point of fear. This was wrong. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. I had to keep fighting.

“Wait,” I cried, pulling away. “We can’t do this.” I shot away from his lap like a poison arrow. “I’m sorry,” I said as I scrambled from the car. It was all I could manage to say. “I’m sorry.”

I ran to the shop without turning back, my brain bobbing around in my head. What just happened? What just
happened
? Nicole’s bewildered stare followed me as I rushed past her to collapse in a chair.

“Was that your first…
kiss
?” she announced from across the room, oblivious to the older couple still finishing their dessert in the corner.

“No,” I stated, in denial. “No, that totally did
not
just happen. Right? I mean,
did
that just happen?” Nicole made a frowny face and nodded sympathetically.

 “Oh man, how could I do that?” I buried my face in my hands. “I’m such an idiot. It’s official. I have no self-control, whatsoever.”

I looked up in despair. Nicole stood with a baffled expression still on her face as she turned the mop handle in slow, mindless circles.

I wrinkled my eyebrows. “I think that spot you’ve been mopping for the last ten minutes is clean now.”

As if waking from a dream, she dropped the mop and hurried over to sit in the chair next to me. “So, was it at least
good
?” she said, eyes wide with anticipation.

“Yes,” I said, a small degree of anger in my tone. “It was just as I always imagined—amazing and wonderful…and torture.”

Nicole squinted, unsure how to respond. “So…that’s a yes…then?”

I leaned on the table and sighed. “I honestly don’t know.”

“So, does this mean you guys are back together?” she asked, confused.

My eyes grew five sizes larger. “No,” I blurted. “This doesn’t change
anything
. We are definitely
not
getting back together.”

***

The next morning, Heather showed up at my locker before first period. She let her shoulder land against the metal door next to me. “I can’t believe you didn’t call me,” she said. “Did you seriously do what I think you did?”

I sighed and threw my bag over my shoulder. “That depends. Who did you talk to?”

“
Duh
…Nicole…” She said. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you finally had your first kiss. I knew the jealousy thing would work. I’m such a genius. The minute Rayne saw you with another guy, he pounced all over you. Oh, and just so you know, I’m super mad at you right now. I can’t believe I had to find out about this from somebody else.”

I leaned my back against the locker door, letting my head crash into it. “Sorry. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk about it. Can we just pretend this never happened?”

“Are you kidding?” she said. “Not a chance. I heard it was, like, pretty hot. You can’t honestly tell me you didn’t enjoy it, at least a little.”

“Of course I did. That’s what’s so wrong about the whole thing.”

“So what happened to
we’re just friends
?” she said in a high-pitched, teasing tone.

“We are
still
just friends,” I said. “That was just a momentary lapse of insanity.”

Heather shook her head “I don’t know why you two insist on driving each other crazy. I don’t even get why you broke things off in the first place.”

“I told you, there’s really no future for us, so why bother?”

“Who cares,” she said. “This is high school. It’s not like we’re looking for our life-long soul mates. I mean, everybody knows that high school romances never last forever.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “My grandparents were high school sweethearts, and they were together until the day they died.”

She laughed under her breath. “Yeah, but that was like a gazillion years ago. Stuff from back then doesn’t even count anymore. And that’s not even the point. All I’m saying is, why not just enjoy it for what it is? Have a little fun before you graduate. I mean, Nick and I are probably going to break up before we leave for school in the fall, but you don’t see me crying about it.”

“You guys are going to break up?” I asked, surprised.

“Um, hello…of course. You can’t start off your freshman year of college tied down to a boyfriend. What fun would
that
be? Plus we’re not even going to the same schools. The long distance thing never works.”

“Oh,” I nodded. “I guess that makes sense. But aren’t you worried that you’ll get all attached and it’ll suck really bad when you have to end it?”

Heather rolled her eyes and yanked on my arm. “Come on, you little drama queen. We have to get to class.”

All day long I kept checking my phone. Was Rayne going to try to contact me? Or did he feel just as awkward about what happened as I did?

I even brought the purple diary with me that we sometimes used to communicate. I hadn’t brought it to school with me for months. These days, we mostly just used it at night when Rayne knew I was at home. Ever since Voss, the terrible, black-eyed man that Rayne sent over a cliff, was out of the picture, Rayne wasn’t nearly as paranoid about using his phone.

But, by the time I’d gone out to my car to drive home from school, I still hadn’t heard a word from Rayne. I couldn’t really blame him though. I realized as I was driving, that I really had no choice; I would have to face him. My body needed Healing Water to survive, and he was the only way I knew how to get it.

At least I had an excuse not to stay long at his house. My mom had texted me during sixth period, saying Dr. Jensen ran up to the hospital last minute, cancelling their plans for the afternoon. So my mom and I were going to hang out for a few hours before we met back with Dr. Jensen for dinner.

When I made it home, I pulled my car up to the curb outside. I lifted my hand to the door handle then dropped it back to my lap. Rayne’s house looked strangely uninviting from across the street. The nerves kinked in my stomach. What was I going to say to him?

I finally decided just to act as natural as possible, to basically pretend nothing had happened. That method usually seemed to work for me in the past. Talking about it would just make things worse.

I plastered a brilliant smile on my face and strolled casually to Rayne’s front gate, pressing the call button on the intercom. Unsure if Rayne could see me, I glanced casually around the yard, trying to look as if the only thing on my mind was the lovely spring sunshine. The electronic gate opened after only a moment, but when I saw his face appear through the doorway, all serious and full of apprehension, my fake confidence dwindled away.

As I walked up the path, I stared at the walls of the house, the plants around the yard, anything to avoid making eye contact. The pressure of his gaze weighed heavier on me with each step I moved closer.

When I reached the porch I glanced up at his face. “Hi,” I said weakly. “I just have a minute. My mom’s waiting for me. We’re hanging out before we meet Dr. J for dinner.” My eyes darted down to his shoes. My plan to act happy and natural was failing miserably.

“I wasn’t sure if you would come,” he said.

My voice was still hesitant. “Well, I promised I would come for my Healing Water, right? I wouldn’t want you to worry.”

“Sadie, last night was my fault,” he said.

There was no chance of avoiding the subject now.

“No it wasn’t,” I said in defeat. “You always do that. Don’t even
try
to take all the blame for this. I was there. I know what really happened. We both lost control.”

“Maybe. But I was the one to first cross the line. I dangled the temptation right in front of your face. I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

“You know what?” I said in a short tone. “I’m a little annoyed that you always let me off the hook so easily.”

“What?” he said, frustrated and a little surprised.

“It’s like I can never make a single mistake with you,” I went on. “Everything is always
your
fault, all the time; like I’m not even capable or smart enough to be held accountable for my own actions. You always treat me like I’m still a child, like I don’t know any better. But guess what…I knew
exactly
what I was doing last night. I wanted to kiss you, and so I did. That’s it. End of story.”

He shook his head. “You ran from the car like I was trying to kill you. You’re seriously going to tell me that you were
enjoying
yourself?”

He had a point, but I knew I had one too. “Okay, fine,” I said. “So I got scared and ran away. I guess I sort of…have a problem facing things in the heat of the moment. And yes, I know there’s that whole big issue with the bonding effect and the Healing Water and all that. But if I
really
didn’t want to kiss you, I wouldn’t have kissed you…even a little bit.
Okay
? I mean, it’s not like you were forcing me at gunpoint.”

Rayne gazed down at me through his lashes and tried to hold back a smile.

“What? It’s not funny,” I said, trying to hold my ground.

He shook his head. “No, I know. You’re right. You
wanted
to kiss me.” His satisfied grin made it clear he was amused. I pressed my lips together and looked at his knees, too embarrassed to maintain eye contact.

He moved a step closer. “But you know what else…I lied. I’m not really sorry. I’m not sorry about any of it.”

“You’re not?”

“Nope. So you can take all the blame you want, because I was just saying all that to make you feel better. And just so you know, I’m not even happy with this whole, keeping-my-distance thing, either. I just said I was, because I wanted to respect your decision and I wanted to make it easier for you.”

This didn’t feel like the calm, collected Rayne I knew so well. I stared at him, perplexed. “But you said you agreed with me, that it was the best thing.”

“Sadie, I just want you to be happy, and I want to keep you safe. There are many different ways that those things can be accomplished. I like spending time with you, and if you told me right now that you wanted things to go back to the way they were, I would do it. I would be your boyfriend as long as you wanted.” He glanced down and held his fingers over his mouth as he added, “We wouldn’t even have to pretend, if you didn’t want to…”

I stood, speechless, for a moment. What was he talking about? This wasn’t the way things were between us. It was like he was suddenly changing all the rules.

“But that’s against the Keeper Code,” I protested. “You always said that your duty was the most important thing, and following the rules. You said we could never really be together.”

“Yes, of course. All that stuff is important. But like you said, you’re not a child anymore. You deserve to make your own decisions. I just want to give you the chance to do that. If you’re happy with your decision to go out on your own, I’ll do my best not to stand in your way. But if you want to be with me…” His voice went quiet. “I’m willing to take the risk.”

My mouth went dry, and I tried to swallow. How could he throw all this at me
now
? After everything we’d gone through to fight our emotions and the bonding effect. Was he just giving in? Had the situation worn him so thin that he’d lost all conviction? I examined his face. He
did
look a little tired compared to normal. Even his eyes seemed to be losing their natural, radiant glow.

“Would that be easier for you?” I asked. “If we go back to the way things were?”

He shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. This is about what
you
want, Sadie. I know you told me you were ready to be on your own, but you probably felt like you didn’t have a choice, that there weren’t any other options. I’m telling you right now that you
do
have options. And it doesn’t just have to be going back to pretending. That was hard on both of us. I’m saying, if you want to be together…I mean
really
be together…I think we could make it work.”

My eyes went wide with disbelief. “I…don’t know what to say. This is a lot to take in.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “You should take some time to think about it.”

I still didn’t understand what brought on this sudden change of heart. Was it the kiss? Was that alone enough to break his dedication to his duty and his oath?

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked. “You don’t seem like yourself.”

He made a small nod, brushing off my concern. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Your eyes look really dark today.”

“It’s just because I haven’t taken any Healing Water for a few weeks. But don’t worry, I still have a little left for you.”

“A few weeks?” I gasped. “Why didn’t you tell me you were getting low? I could’ve gone longer between doses.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted. “I have an arrangement to pick up a new supply while you’re at dinner tonight.”

He pulled the silver bottle from his pocket. “Here, give me your hand before I forget.”

I folded my arms. “I’m not going to take the water while you sit here ready to pass out. How selfish do you think I
am
?”

He laughed once. “I promise I’m fine. I’m not anywhere
near
ready to pass out. My eyes barely started fading this morning.”

He reached out for my hand, but I held it firmly to my chest. “I want
you
to have it,” I said. “I can wait until you get back with more.”