Rocker (Rockstar BBW Romance) (5 page)

My suffering was cut short by, “April Linn. Big April.” Oh my god, it was Dylan Coe, my bully. I looked around for help, knowing that there was none to be had. Billy was way in the back, in his office, and the rest of the store was empty. How did it get to be 3:30 am?

“Big stuff!”

I glared at him.

“Bigger than ever,” Dylan laughed at himself.

I glared harder, my bottom lip curling in over my teeth as I jutted my chin out.

“Figures you’d work in a grocery store,” he said. I used to get this kind of wit spit at me every day. Dylan road the same bus to school as I did. I hadn’t seen him since graduation. He hadn’t lost it.

“Can I help you with something?” I said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, do you have a diet section?” Dylan said and laughed at himself again.

He put a bag of Doritos Extreme and a six pack of Mountain Dew on my conveyor and I checked him out with slightly trembling hands.

“OK, Biggie Biggs,” he said and walked out snickering.

Oh, I couldn’t wait for the reunion.

So, it was time for Cinder-Ella to go to the ball, except there would be no transformation. Still fat, check. Thrift store dress that I didn’t feel that good in, check. Old shoes I’ve had since high school, all set.
Cashier Girl
goes out into the night.

Tara and Rodney picked me up right at 8 because Tara had the great idea that we should go early to get a good seat. It was still light out!

Whoever organized the shindig thought it would be great to hold it in the high school gym. You know, to help us all relive those great gym class moments? Normally my stomach would be in knots, but it had been in knots all week and it actually seemed to loosen up a little. I was beyond the point of caring. A strange calm came over me.

Sincerely, no offense, but only the most awkward and stiff classmates and their significant others showed up that early. Maybe it’s because it helps them feel more comfortable. Or maybe because they aren’t socially aware enough to know that you can come to something like this an hour or two late.

Since it was mostly social rejects in attendance that early, I knew quite a few of them. The pain in the room was obvious. Drinks in hand, sipping hard, time to drink enough forget who you are.

“Hi April!” Oh crap, Danny Leonard was huge. He had always been kind of chunky. I should know, we dated for a whole year. I lost my virginity to him. He looked like he hadn’t stopped eating since our senior year.

“Hi, Danny,” I said trying not to stare at his neck beard. Poor thing. I could tell he was so uncomfortable in his own skin. Takes one to know one, I guess.

“I’ve thought about you so much, April,” he said shifting into my personal space. I took a step back. “What have you been doing wif yourself?” He still said “wif” instead of “with.” He used to have about a half a dozen of those mispronunciation. I used to think they were cute.

“I’m, uh, working at Ben’s Food Place. What about you?”

“Well, I got my degree in computer science from UC San Diego, and now I’m over in Silicon Valley at Sematech pulling in 6-figures.”

This was going to be the way my night was going to go. People were going to ask me what I was doing.
Cashier Girl.
Then they were going to give me their commercial on how great their life was. I could feel it coming. My obese, neck-bearded, deflowerer was making 5 times more money than me doing something that might actually matter. Who knew? His benefits package was probably worth twice what I make, and he probably had fun at work. His
computer
was probably worth more than my car. I was doomed. “Great, Danny. Sounds great.”

“Hey, I’m not heading back down until Monday. Would you like to go have brunch or something tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah sure, Danny,” I said. I always liked Danny. He seemed as good-natured as ever.

“Yes!” he said out loud and brought his fist down to his side in a motion of victory. “Put your number in my new Samsung Galaxy,” he said handing me his fancy phone and looking around to see if anyone was noticing. “It’s on the Verizon network. They were voted best carrier by cNet.”

I looked at his phone screen, handed it back, and said, “Here, you just do it.”

I finally got away from Danny by going to the girl’s restroom and hiding. That was one skill I had developed pretty well in high school. The restroom on the south end of school, 2nd floor, was always the best place to hide out for a period or 2 when I just couldn’t face anyone. I felt like that now. I went up there and it was just as it was 5 years ago. Three roomy stalls and big old fashioned sinks with hot and cold water that actually stayed on. The paper towels had been replaced by an air dryer, but otherwise, I felt right at home. All I needed was a good book to read.

I thought of Stevie. I couldn’t stop. I still loved him. Was it true that anyone you had sex with was attached to you forever? Was he down in LA by now? Up in Portland? Would my life ever be as good as it was that night?

I went over our love making in my head. So magnificent. I went over it again, slowly, remembering every detail. What a woman, he had said.

“I knew it!” It was Tara. She’d found me. “Get out her, April Linn. I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone, so you leave me alone.” I came out of the sall. “I thought you ran off with Danny Leonard until he came up and started telling how he made six figures.

“Oh please.” I said.

“Come on, a lot of people are getting here. It’s going to be such a rave.”

“You’re such a hick,” I said. I loved her.

We went back down to the reunion and she was right, It was getting packed. The DJ was actually quite talented. He had all kinds of samples that he was looping, while also mixing in vinyl, and he even had a female vocalist. The joint was jumping’, I’ll give him that.

Another thing that was cool is that it wasn’t just blasting. At the end of the gym that was set up as a dance floor, it was pretty loud, but down by the tables you could carry on a conversation. I made my way around the dance floor and hung out around the edge of the little stage that was set up for the DJ. I was really getting into the beat. It was turning out to be a really nice time. That’s when I saw Jessie and Leo and their entourage. I ignored them, but felt a sting from the other night in the store.

Then Jessie was next to me. “What’s your problem, wide load,” she said loudly over the music. She was always an instigator. I guess it’s what she had to do. She didn’t get enough attention from being gorgeous and sexy. I couldn’t believe it, she was going to make a scene. I could feel it coming. I just didn’t know if I could stop it, or if I wanted to.

“What?” I said. I could feel all the frustration of the last week coming to a head in me.

“I saw the look you gave me when I came in,” she said getting in my face. “I didn’t come all the way back to the sticks, just so some loser cashier could give me dirty looks.”

“Come on, Jess,” Leo said, “She’s not worth it.

“Kick her fat ass,” someone called out and the DJ quit spinning the vinyl. A drum beat was still looping, but it had suddenly gotten quiet in the entire gym.

I shook my head in disgust. I took a step back, spread my arms to the side, palms up, and shrugged. Jessie mimicked my movements, but screwed her face up. “You should think twice before you fuck with me, you fat bitch,” Jessie said for everyone’s benefit. There was a murmur through the crowd. Even the DJ and his vocalist were looking over at us.

If I would have just walked away, that would have been the end of it.

If she would have just shrugged, made a face, and not said anything, that would have been the end of it, but she had to call me a fat bitch.

“Fuck you, Jessie.” I said. “You can’t talk to me like that. I let you talk to me like that in High School, but I’m a big girl now, and...”

“You’re a big girl alright,” Leo said. The crowd around us laughed.

“Kick her fat ass, Jessie,” a girl’s voice said.

“Feel like getting stomped, Fatty?” Jessie asked. She always acted like such a badass. There had always been rumors about the girls she’d beat up. Most of the girls back in high school had been scared of her. I used to be, too, but I wasn’t that night.

“I don’t think you got it in you,” I said loudly, a sudden tranquility coming over me.

“I’m gonna mess up your big, fat face,” she hissed at me as she stepped forward.

“No, I really don’t think you are,” I said, taking a step back into a defensive pose. It was infuriating her. The DJ’s drum track was just looping and the whole place seemed to be watching us. There was no Vice Principal to break it up. All the cool kids were just waiting for the fat kid to get hers.

Jessie made fists. She came at me in a boxing pose. I felt relaxed. Time slowed down. I easily sidestepped her, and she punched thin air. “Just stop it, Jessie,” I said. “I don’t want to fight you.”

She swung again wildly, like she thought she was gonna knock me out. She missed by a mile. I don’t know what combination of drugs and alcohol she was on, but it wasn’t good for depth perception. I really didn’t want to hurt her. All the resentment from my high school years, plus the 5 since, seemed to drain from me right then and there.

Here Jesse was, easily the most beautiful and sexy girl in our high school class, and, for some reason, she felt like she had to pick a fight with me. The big girl.
Cashier Girl.

Cashier Girl blocked another swing by Jessie and pushed her back so hard she had to be caught by the crowd.

“Why don’t you just leave,” Leo said angrily to me. “Nobody wants you here.

“Yeah, just leave,” someone else said and there was a chorus of people that said demeaning things, “get out, fatty,” and “fat cunt,” come to mind.

“Are you kidding me,” I thundered back to no one in particular, “She came up and started trouble with
me
.” Jessie ran at me, I sidestepped her again and pushed her into the gym floor as she went past. She went down hard. Suddenly Leo shoved me with all his strength and sent me sprawling onto my side. There was laughter and then a loud smacking sound. The DJ’s drum loop stopped.

I looked up at Leo who was holding his cheek in pain, in front of him was Stevie who said, “You touch her again and you’ll be leaving in an ambulance.”

“What the fuck,” Leo said.

“The fuck is,” Stevie said, deep and calm, “I’m gonna fuck you up if you even
look
at my woman again. Now get your bitch, and get the fuck out of my sight before your night turns into a horror story.”

It was like in the Lord of the Rings when Gandalf gets angry and all of the sudden he seems to fill the room. Stevie filled the room with his presence. People backed away in fear as he walked to me and helped me to my feet.

Leo got Jessie up and they slunk into the crowd.

Stevie embraced me and the DJ started up a loop. I could have moved a mountain for that man right then.

Cinder-Ella was transformed after all. Even though it almost happened like the storybook, with me running out on one shoe. I didn’t run from the dance crying. Instead, my hero got there in time to help save me.

I guess the real transformation was
in
me. Maybe Stevie’s conversation with me about Peter Paul Rubens a few nights earlier had sunk in. All I know is, in the midst of Jessie’s assault, I suddenly saw her for what she was, an ungrateful little girl. I kind of saw myself for what I was, too, a good person. A person that always tried to make other people feel good. A person that didn’t mind not always putting themselves first. A worthy person, despite my size. So I was not ideal in the eyes of my society; I was a decent human being.