Rocked with Passion (A New Adult Rockstar Novel) (3 page)

No, Kevin’s reaction was so incredible, so perfectly Kevin, the reaction I wanted from my future husband.
I swelled with joy as I realized that Kevin was well and truly the man for me. He was so nice, so caring, so thoughtful. I loved him so much, I knew it was going to make it even harder for me to leave him for a while and work for Jonathan’s band. Not to mention, Kevin’s brief mention of us getting married was a nice boost to the ego. We weren’t engaged, of course, but hearing him speak of the future like that still made me feel good. It made me feel wanted.

And after all, i
t would be stupid to ignore an opportunity like this just because Jonathan hurt me when I was a teenager. That was a decade ago. Surely I’d moved on now. I could go, see him and be a complete professional as we worked together to improve the band’s image in the media.

“You’re right Kevin, you’re absolutely right. I think I should do it.”

Kevin beamed at me then reached over and wrapped his arms around me. “Awesome idea, Sara. You’re amazing, you’re going to do a fantastic job for that band.”

I blushed, wondering how I could be so silly as to worry about seeing Jonathan again when I had such a supportive, kind boyfriend here for me at home.

The next day I set out to get ready to leave for LA. I called Sally, who squealed with excitement when I told her the news.

“Are you serious?
Jon didn’t even tell me!” she exclaimed, ecstatic. “Oh my God, this is going to give me so many awesome reasons to come and visit you! I never really bothered when it was just Jon over there, but with you gone as well I’m totally gonna come and see you!”

I laughed at Sally’s excitement. In many ways, she seemed to be even mo
re excited about things than I was.

“But what about Kevin?”
she asked.

“He’s actually super supportive, which is awesome. He thinks I should do it, and we’ll keep our relationship going long distance.”

Sally let out another squeal, this one so loud I took the phone away from my ear for a second for fear of going deaf.

After hanging up the phone, I called my mom to share the news. She was at least as excited as Sally.

I had to admit, with everyone I spoke to fully in support of this plan, I was getting excited about it too. After all, it had been ten years. I had nothing to worry about at all. I’d moved on, Jonathan had surely moved on as well, and this could truly be the opportunity of a lifetime for my business.

One week later I was on a plane, flying across the country for the first time in my life. With every mile we came closer to the west coast I could feel my heart pounding just a little bit harder in my chest. What was Jonathan going to be like? He was famous now, surely he wouldn’t be the same as he was when we grew up. What if this was all a cruel joke? What if I was going to show up and he would laugh at me? What if this was an elaborate prank, and everyone was in on it?

Get it together, Sara
I scolded myself. I hadn’t really had doubts like this since high school. It turned out mom was right, I did grow out of my baby fat. In grade 12 I finally grew two inches and lost about ten pounds. I had curves in all the right places and would never be anything even close to model thin, but I was definitely happier with my appearance, and in turn, my confidence had soared over the last few years. Sure, whenever I saw someone really beautiful in the street or at work my mind would work overtime, and I’d feel so inadequate, thinking surely I must look like a troll compared to her, but usually I was ok with how I felt in my body. I always thought I could stand to lose some more weight, but hey, doesn’t everyone?

Now I felt like an awkward, chubby, clumsy teenager again,
trying to impress a boy. I shouldn’t, of course. Kevin dropped me off at the airport, and as he kissed me goodbye, tears welled in my eyes. He was so supportive, so nice. A part of me felt like I didn’t deserve someone like him. I didn’t love Jonathan Knight anymore, anyway. I’d convinced myself of that. But why, then, did I feel so awkward? Why was I so nervous? Why did I feel like I was going to throw up all over myself whenever I thought about this trip?

The plane landed and I was met with a rush of hot air as I left the plane.
It was only April, and still it felt like midsummer already! I headed to the carousel to pick up my luggage, then saw a driver holding a placard with my name on it.

“
Ummm... hi, I’m Sara” I told him as I went up to him, not really sure how to introduce myself.
Oh God, you sound like a two year old
I scolded myself, but the man didn’t seem to even blink at my awkward introduction.

“Excellent, I have a car waiting outside. I’m John, the driver.”
I went to pick up my bags, but John reached down and took them from me, then led me out the terminal to the waiting car. As I followed behind, I couldn’t help but feel so out of place. I’d never had a man carry my things for me before! I felt so out of place, I was sure everyone was staring at me, wondering who the person who obviously couldn’t afford her own driver was, following the man through the airport like a little puppy dog. Finally, we arrived in front of a luxurious, brand new European model with very dark tinted windows. I didn’t know much about cars, but I knew that no one in our small town had ever owned one as nice as this. John held the door open for me and I slid into the plush leather seat, hoping I looked elegant.

John got in the front and zoomed off
without asking me for a destination. Which was good, since after all, I didn’t have a clue as to where to go. “Where are we going?” I asked.

“
I’m taking you to Jonathan Knight’s house” John replied. “I have been told that the band is there, waiting for you to arrive.”

My heart began to pound even harder in my chest. I hadn’t even really thought about where I was g
oing to go after landing in LA, but I certainly never envisioned going straight to Jonathan’s house. Maybe a coffee shop, or a recording studio, or something. But his house? That was going to be really private, even with the other band members there.
Keep it together, Sara. You can do this. You’re going to go to his house, act like a normal human being, and everything’s going to be fine.

We sped down the freeway,
eventually turning off into a neighborhood where every house was nicer than the last. My eyes widened as John finally pulled up to a large wrought-iron gate, spoke into a speaker at the front for a moment, and then slowly drove through as the gate opened for us. What was even more amazing was the four or five security personnel surrounding the car, stopping the half dozen or so photographers camping out in front of the house. I had never seen anything like this before. Were these people simply waiting out here for Jonathan to come out of the house?

I gazed up at what John had described as Jonathan’s “house”.
No sensible person would describe it as anything less than a mansion. The place was a mixture of classic Victorian and modern architecture, which worked surprisingly well to give the house both a modern and classic look. John led me to the entrance, where a maid opened the door and took my coat. I stood there with my mouth open, staring at the entry. It looked like a castle.

A grand
marble stairway led upstairs to where I imagined were king sized bedrooms. The biggest chandelier I’d ever seen in my life hung from the ceiling. Statues of Greek figures and artwork I knew would have cost more than I made in a year hung from the walls. The maid led me down a long, elegant hallway, her heels clicking efficiently on the solid wood floor, finally opening a door into a living room. A huge TV lined one wall, couches spread across the floor, and sunlight poured in through the floor-to-ceiling windows and French doors leading to a pool with a view of the city. I couldn’t help but look around, amazed at the sight.

What really stood out to me, however, was Jonathan, sitting on one of the couches,
a drink in his hand, reaching for another slice of pizza from one of the two boxes sitting on the table. The other members of the band surrounded him, they were obviously in the middle of talking about their next album. Notepads with song lyrics scribbled all over surrounded them.

As soon as
he saw me, Jonathan jumped up and hugged me. I stiffened, not really sure how to react.

“Sara, how are you? I’m so glad you came” Jonathan told me, pulling away.
I managed a small smile. I looked up at him. He was older, yes, but he still had that same wavy brown hair, that same mischievous look in his eye and the same smile that made me want to melt.

“Yeah... it’s uh, good to see you again” I replied, cringing inwardly at how uncomfortable I sounded.
Jonathan had always been so good at telling how I felt, and immediately pulled away.

“You remember Eric and
Jared, right?” he asked, motioning at the other two guys. I nodded and said hi. I had met them a few times when they were at Sally’s house, although I couldn’t really say I’d spoken more than a few words to either. They seemed nice enough, I guess.

Jonathan invited me to grab a slice of pizza and motioned for me to sit on one of the other couches, far away from him, which I was thankful for.
He knew I was uncomfortable, and I was thankful that he was doing his best to accommodate me. He’d always been so good like that. I grabbed a slice of pepperoni and sat down, the maid almost immediately appearing with a glass of water, and asking if I wanted anything else to drink. After thanking her, telling her just water was fine, Jonathan spoke again.

“
Thanks for coming Sara. We really do appreciate it. I don’t know how much you read the gossip magazines or anything, but this has really been quite an ordeal for us. We didn’t know who we could trust, until your name came up. We all decided you’d be perfect to bring on as our PR team.”

“I’m glad you’ve considered me, but I really don’t think I’m as good as you think I am. Suggesting how to write ads to local companies is a bit different to managing the publicity of a world famous rock band.”

Jonathan shot me a smile. Oh, that smile.
No. Get those thoughts out of your head, now.
“Sara, if we didn’t think you could do it, we wouldn’t have asked you. Don’t worry, as long as you don’t spill secrets to the media you’ll already be better than the last firm we hired.”

The other guys looked pleased I was there as well, and I slowly began to feel a little bit more comfortable.
I was vaguely aware of my heart palpitating every time Jonathan looked at me, but I forced the thoughts away. After all, I loved Kevin. This was just the feeling of being reunited with someone from my childhood, nothing else. After all, it couldn’t be anything else. I couldn’t allow the old feelings I had to come back. That’s all they were. Old feelings. This was just nostalgia, looking back on my teen years with longing.

Jonathan had a brand new laptop brought to me, and we immediately set about talking about what had to be done in terms of public relations for the band.
They went into further detail about what had happened, Eric telling me everything that had happened with him and his girlfriend. I knew the basic facts from Jonathan’s letter, of course, but I had to know everything.

We worked for a couple of hours. I had to admit, for rock stars, the band was surprisingly hard working.
I had assumed that they would follow the typical stereotype of rock stars: late to everything, always wanting their own way, never working hard at all, but they were in fact the opposite. It made sense, I supposed: with the responsibilities they had, they must work incredibly hard.

After I was brought up to date,
I asked about any contacts and information the previous PR firm had left, and found out that there were none. After being fired, they just up and left. I was going to have to start from scratch, completely. This was going to be fun.

While I had originally been worried about seeing Jonathan, and his reaction to me, and my reaction to him, I stopped worrying about things like what he thought about seeing me again, whether he knew how much he had hurt me all of those years ago, and rather focused on the task at hand.
After all, I’d been hired as a professional, to do a professional job. I couldn’t let my own personal feelings get in the way of that.

My resolve steeled, I continued to work with the band, until the sun began to set. I hadn’t realized just how late it was until Jared stood up and said he had to get back home, and Eric did the same.
Inwardly, I panicked somewhat. I was suddenly going to find myself here, alone with Jonathan? This couldn’t happen. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Where was I going to sleep? Then, Jonathan spoke.

“Sara, I have a room booked for you at a hotel downtown, John can take you there whenever you’d like, although I wouldn’t mind taking you to dinner first, if you’d like.”

Hundreds of thoughts ran through my head at once. Jonathan wanted to have dinner with me? But I didn’t want to have dinner with him. I couldn’t refuse, that would seem rude. I wasn’t dressed nearly nicely enough for such an occasion.

“That would be nice” were the words that finally came out of my mouth.
I tried to smile, and hoped it came out looking ok. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a child. I was a grown woman, running my own business, with my best friend’s brother. I shouldn’t be stumbling around every conversation with him like a child. It made no sense. Maybe it was just nerves. Hopefully all these feelings would go away in a day or so.