Rock Bottom (Tristan & Danika #2) (16 page)

Instead, I stewed about what some random chick had told me about things that had happened before I’d even met Tristan.
 
I knew it was pathetic, and I made a promise to myself that I was not going to turn it into a thing.
 
Not a fight thing.
 
Not a drama thing.
 
Not a thing at all, because I’d known about his past before I’d ever touched the man.
 

And still, I stewed.
 
For some reason, my mind had fixated on the act he’d done with some random chick that he’d never even mentioned wanting to do to me.
 

He’d wanted to do
everything
to her, she’d said.
 

Couldn’t get enough of each other, she’d said.
 

Tristan found me there hours later.
 
I was still just staring out at the ocean, even though it had long since gotten dark.
 

He hunkered down beside me, studying me like he was gaging my mood.
 
I knew that didn’t say good things about me, that I was so volatile he had to constantly assess.
 

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked quietly.
 

I just nodded, not particularly wanting to talk to him, or even look at him.
 
I hoped I was starting my period or something, something that could account for me being so moody, and wanting only to withdraw into myself.
 

“You ready to go to bed?
 
They rented the place out for the night, and they reserved this amazing room for us.
 
The party will probably go on all night, but I feel like I’ve done enough ass kissing to get a pass on the rest.”
 

I smiled weakly.
 
“Sure.”
 

“You feel okay?
 
You look a little woozy.”
 

“I’m a little nauseous.
 
Lying down should help.”
 

“Want anything to eat or drink?
 
They’re well stocked here.”

I just shook my head, standing up.
 

He immediately draped his arm over my shoulders, leading me into the house.
 
“I’m sorry I wasn’t much company for you.
 
I turned around and you were gone, and then I didn’t have a spare second to look for you.”

“Don’t worry about it.
 
It was your party.
 
You should get to do whatever you want.”
 
I knew as soon as I said it that it sounded petulant, and I wanted to take it back.
   

“Hey now,” he said softly.
 
“If I got to do what I wanted, I’d have been with you all night, now wouldn’t I?”
 

I didn’t answer, just feeling tired.

“Did you meet anyone interesting?”
 

I met a model that said you were the first man she ever did anal with, I wanted to say, but no good could come of it, so I managed to hold my tongue.
 

“Yeah.
 
Some entertaining people around here,” I said instead.
 

“Are you upset? It feels like you’re upset with me.”
 

“I just don’t feel well.
 
A good night’s sleep will help.”
 

We were laying down, the room dark, sounds from the party still drifting to us when he said, “I’d always rather have you tell me what’s wrong, instead of keeping it bottled up.
 
You know that, right?
 
Whatever it is, I’d always rather know.”
 

I sighed, knowing there was a short timer on how long I could keep my feelings to myself.
 
There always had been.
 
“Do you ever feel like you can’t get enough of me, Tristan?”
 

“Excuse me?”
 

“Do you want to do
everything
to me?”
 

“What are we talking about?
 
I thought you weren’t feeling well.”

“Not tonight.
 
I mean, just in general.
 
Do you ever want to hole up in bed for two weeks and not let me out?”
 

I felt him shifting on the bed, then draping himself over my still form, his lips going to the top of my head for a brief kiss.
 
“That sounds like a kidnapping.
 
If this is you somehow asking how much I want you, you’re being silly.
 
I want you to the point of insanity.
 
I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you.
 
Two weeks in bed?
 
That’s nothing.
 
I’d keep you in bed for the rest of our lives, if there were any feasible way to do that.
 
And I don’t
feel
like I’ll ever get enough of you; I
know
that I won’t.
 
Now what is this all about?”
 

“How come you’ve never even tried to…?”
 
I couldn’t even finish the sentence, not even in the dark, when I’d already embarrassed myself.
 

“Tried to what?
 
Lock you in my bedroom?
 
Don’t think I won’t, boo, now that you just gave me your permission.”
 
I could hear the smile in his voice.

“No…that isn’t what I was going to say.”
 
I shut my eyes tight, hating that I could never keep any stupid thing to myself.
 
“I met this model tonight, and she said that you guys stayed in bed together for two weeks, and did
everything
.
 
She said you couldn’t get enough of her.”
 

I felt him stiffen.
 
“Sweetheart, I haven’t touch
—
“

“It was years ago, she said.
 
She has red hair, freckles, and great legs.
 
Do you remember her?”

“Is it good or bad that your description doesn’t even ring a bell?”
 

I didn’t know the answer to that.
 
“I wasn’t fishing for information from her.
 
We were just chatting and she came out with all of that, and then went into detail about all the crazy things you did to each other.
 
It just got me thinking.”

“Uh-oh.”

I slapped his closest body part, the shoulder behind me.
 
“And I started to wonder if you’ve been holding back on me, if there were other things you wanted to do, that you’ve done with other women.”
 
I had a thought.
 
“She said you had a threesome.”
 

He cursed.
 
“We are
not
fucking doing that.”

“No, no, I wasn’t suggesting we do that.
 
It just occurred to me that you’d been a lot more wild before me, and that you might get bored with how much your sex life has toned down in our relationship.”
 

His hand gripped my hip hard enough to bruise, and his voice when he spoke was cold.
 
“You’re being ridiculous.
 
It’s not the novelty of an act that makes a thing exciting, Danika, it’s the feeling behind it.
 
I guarantee that if I had a threesome with some chick I don’t remember, it wasn’t because I couldn’t get enough of her.
 

 
You’re the only one I’ve felt like this with, and it’s the most exciting feeling in the world.
 
Nothing
has toned down for me.
 
Just the opposite.
 
You’re making it sound like it’s not wild enough for
you
.
 
Tell me, what kind of things are you used to doing?”
 
He’d really worked himself up by the last sentence.
 

I wondered briefly why I worried about being a jealous nutcase, when Tristan could always manage to top me.
 
“Nothing.
 
I’ve never been wild at all, and you know it.”
 

“I know it?
 
You just basically told me that the best sex of my life has been toned down for you, so I’d really love to know what you think can top this.
 
What did skinny jeans do for you that I haven’t?”
 

“Tristan, now you’re being silly.
 
I wasn’t talking about me.”
 

 
“Weren’t you?
 
What have I neglected, Danika?
 
I won’t bring a third party into this, but you said you weren’t talking about that.
 
So what is it?
 
What’s the magic formula that equals a wild sex life?
 
You think variety does that?
 
Variety comes from boredom, and I will
never
fucking share you.”
 

He was getting angrier by the second.
 

“I don’t understand how this got so twisted,” I said quietly, honestly baffled.
 
“Why are you so angry?
 
And I never suggested anything about us sharing.”
 

“You brought up a fucking threesome to me!
 
What am I supposed to think?”
 

“You’re the one that
had
a threesome.
 
Quit turning everything around on me!”
   

“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?
 
And you call it fucking
toned down
?
 
Do you know how crazy
that
makes me?”
 

“That is not what I meant at all.
 
Again, I wasn’t talking about
me
.”
 

“Well, I’m sure as hell not the one complaining about our sex life, now am I?
 
The only complaint I have is that I’m out of town too much.
 
So tell me, what is it that we haven’t done that makes you think our sex life is
boring
.”
 

I said, my voice stern, “I’m done talking about this.
 
You’re getting too worked up.”
 

“Well, that still sounds like an improvement over
toned down
.”
 

He was pressing hard against me from behind now, obviously aroused.
 
The hand on my hip went up to grab my breast.
 

“You’re impossible,” I told him.
 

He ignored that, inching my camisole up, caressing me, his mouth on my neck.
 
“You make me insane, you know that?
 
Here I am, thinking things couldn’t get any hotter between us, and you’re worried we aren’t wild enough together?”
 
As he spoke, he was moving my panties aside, nudging hard at my entrance.
 

He plunged in, entering me fully, but then just stopping, holding himself there.
 
“Tell me what we aren’t doing?
 
What’s not enough for you here?”
 
He moved inside of me slightly to illustrate his point.
 

When I didn’t answer, he pulled out almost completely, as though to punish me for my silence.
 

I bit my lip, reaching back to grip him in my hand.
 
I shifted him, dragging his tip until it was poised at my other entrance.
 

“What the
fuck
?” he growled into my ear.
 
“This something you been wanting?
 
Was this what you did with skinny jeans?”
 

If I wasn’t so turned on and embarrassed, I’d have rolled my eyes.
 
“No.
 
I haven’t done this before, though skinny jeans, bleh, I mean
Daryl,
was obsessed with doing it, I never let him.
 
I never got the appeal.
 
It sounds painful.”

“So why do you want to do it now?”
 

“Just something that chick said to me.
 
I know it’s something you like.”
 

“Oh, you know that, do you?
 
You think I’m shy about telling you what I like?
 
Is that the impression you’ve gotten?”
 

I pressed back against him, trying to work his big tip inside.
 
I could tell right away that it wasn’t going to be easy.
 
“You did it to a stranger.
 
I just think you should give me everything you gave to all those other women.”
 

“I do.
 
I give you
everything
.
 
No one else got anything worth having from me.
 
When are you going to get that through your head?”

“What if I just want to do it?
 
Are you really going to tell me you aren’t even a little bit interested in it?”
 

“You know why we haven’t done it?
 
Because for me it’s been the thing you do when you get bored with random pussy.
 
That may sound harsh, but that’s how I see it.
 
You want me to fuck you like this?
 
I’ll do it.
 
I’ll take you fucking sideways, if the mood strikes you, but don’t twist it for a second into something
I
wanted, or something I was holding back from you.
 
And frankly, I think I’m too angry to fuck you like that right now.
 
You don’t do that angry, or it might
really
hurt you, though it’s going to be damned uncomfortable either way.”
 

I wiggled back against him, still trying to work him inside of me with no success.
 

With a frustrated sigh, he pulled away.
 
I lay in stunned silence while he strode to the adjoining bathroom, shutting the door behind him.