Robyn Hood: Fight For Freedom (11 page)

“I will never discredit
God,” I humbly said. (Even with my extravagant robbing career in full swing I still tried not to lie to priests. Or at least I tried not to lie to them as much as I did to everyone else.)

“Who are you, what are you doing here?” the bishop inquired.

“I am but a wandering minstrel. When walking down the road to Nottingham I was informed that today a wedding will be performed in this most sacred place. I decided to venture here in hopes of being able to make music for the lovely bride and groom during this joyous occasion,” I said, speaking as flowery as possible while plucking a few more notes. I hoped it sounded minstrel-y.

“You are certainly welcome to the ceremony,” the bishop started. “It is I who will be performing the service for my good friend and his young bride. Come, play your harp that I might hear your skills.”

I smiled and Much nearly wet his pants in his tree. “I can not, sir Bishop,” I truthfully said. After all, I could only pluck a few strings and hope they sounded decent. “Where I come from it is considered bad luck to play before the budding bride is among us,” I said, finishing the speech with a hand flourish.

“W
e will need not wait long then. Here comes the lucky couple,” the bishop said, pointing past me.

I turned around and sure enough, further up the path was an old knight who was probably my father’s age. With him was a pretty girl dressed in blue
with her hair down and a garland of flowers perched on the crown of her head. She could only be Ellen. Trailing behind the pair was another couple, most likely Ellen’s parents.

“The guests have already been seated. Go find a place for yourself
, young harper, and prepare to play,” the bishop instructed before waddling down the steps to greet his friend.

I could hear Much angrily rattle the tree branches over my head
. No doubt he wanted some bold, dashing comment out of me. Unfortunately he wasn’t going to get any.

“Yes sir,” I cheerfully said before bounding up the stairs. I could not miss the intense stare Ellen gave me, or specifically my clothes.

Much was climbing down his tree with the nimbleness of a cat. He glared at me and pointed to the chatting bishop and knight, clearly wanting some sort of heroic insult to be uttered.

I shook my head.

Much actually cursed and glanced at the bishop and knight before darting out into the church yard path. Within seconds he ducked into the church, wedging himself directly behind me.

“What are you doing?” I growled, sensing the well wishers in the
church were already staring inquisitively at my Merry Man.

“That old, fat, saggy knight is marrying
this
beautiful young bride? Such a waste!” Much shouted in a badly done falsetto tone that was clearly supposed to be my higher pitched voice.

“That was poorly done Much,” I warned, but the bishop fell for it.

“Hold your tongue you cheeky harper,” the bishop snarled. “And play your harp.”

“That’s just it, dear bishop,” I said. “I’m hardly a harp player. I always was better at the horn,” I said, trying to pluck a few of the harp strings, breaking one in the process. I winced and spun around to shove the harp in Much’s hands. “Hang on to that,” I whispered.

“What?” the bishop asked, furrowing his bushy eyebrows that nearly became one entity when he glared at me.

“Here, I shall demonstrate,” I said before pulling out my white horn. I sounded three, clear blows on it and waited.

In trooped Little John, Will Scarlet, and twenty five Merry Men with Alan-A-Dale and Friar Tuck in their ranks. (Never mind that I had said twenty. Of course Little John had to go and get twenty five.)

“Hello F
ather!”

“Morning F
ather!”

“Good day F
ather!”

My Merry Men greeted
the priest as ten of them trooped past the Bishop and the knight and instead hopped into the church, plopping themselves in open pews.

“Fat
toad,” Friar Tuck insulted the Bishop as he walked up the path and into the church.

“William Scarlet, I may be a bad judge of beauty, but don’t these two seem ill matched?” I drawled as I casually strode down the church steps, taking my bow and quiver from Much as he shadowed me.

“They do indeed, Robin Hood. I first thought they were father and daughter,” Will Scarlet laughed as he ambled up to meet me, Little John with him.

Will’s words caused
a stir with the fat knight and Bishop. Instead of continuing to look purple with anger they turned a distinct green shade of fear.

“And you, Little John. What did you think?” I asked my giant
Merry Man.

“I recall a harper lad saying he would gladly wed such a pretty girl. Why, he is here with us. Shall we swap out the groom
, Robin Hood?” Little John asked, his eyes mischievously twinkling.

“I think we should
. What do you think, Lady Ellen? Would you take our dear Alan-A-Dale?” I asked, stopping in front of the pretty girl, who was practically shaking with fright.

When she heard my words she visibly brightened. “Alan?” she asked, a smile bubbling to her lips.

“I am here my love!’ Alan said, pushing his way past her parents.

They embraced and cried before Ellen turned away. “Thank you. Thank you Robin Hood, sir,” she laughed, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes.

“We shall not stand for this,” Ellen’s father hissed. “You will not marry that
minstrel
,” he spat.

“We will never give you to him,” Ellen’s mother added in a shrewish voice.

“You won’t have to,” I gallantly said with my most dashing smile. “I will for you. Lobb, Ryan, please escort this pair away from the ceremony. Much, Will Stutely, and Tom, keep an eye on the knight,” I said, laughing from deep in my chest. “Now dear Bishop, please start the ceremony and cry them three times.”

“Never,” the bishop said, spitting with anger.

“Very well. Then I shall make my own bishop. Little John!” I said.

“Yes Robin?” Little John asked with a wolfish grin.

“How would you like to have a temporary change in careers?”

“Sounds fun. What job shall it be today?”

“Bishop. See if you can fit in our dear bishop’s over robes,” I challenged.

Little John stripped the outer robes o
ff the bishop with Will Scarlet’s help. As the Bishop shouted insults at us Little John poured himself into the robe. The sleeves stopped just past his elbows, and he could not button the top buttons because of his broad shoulders and chest. He could button the ones at his belly, but the bishop was a fat man so it was saggy there where Little John was trim and fit. Finally, the robes stopped just at his knees. He looked like a grown man trying to squeeze into childhood play clothes.

My
Merry Men and were nearly rolling on the ground. Little John shook his clothes and tried to look ridiculously dignified.

“Cr
y them, Little John,” I said, the only one who did not find the situation immensely funny. I was more worried about being struck dead for such desecration.

“Yes sir,” Little John said with false
pride. He cried them, three times, as was tradition. “Announcing the marriage of Alan-A-Dale and… Ellen! Announcing the marriage of Alan-A-Dale and Lady Ellen! Announcing the marriage of Alan-A-Dale and Lady Ellen!” Little John bellowed, flapping his arms in the ill fitting robe before stopping. “I don’t think that was enough,” he concluded.

“
Really? I think it was plenty,” I said. Little John had a
loud
voice, and the church was squat next to Nottinghamshire village. Any patrolling soldiers would be sure to hear him.

“
I think I’ll do it again. Announcing the glorious marriage of Alan-A-Dale and Lady Ellen! Announcing the divine marriage of the good Alan-A-Dale and the beautiful Lady Ellen!”

“Alright Little John,” I
nervously laughed, even as the rest of my men slapped their knees and wiped tears of laughter out of their eyes.

“
Announcing the divinely inspired marriage of the good minstrel, Alan-A-Dale, and the beautiful Lady Ellen!”

“They hardly need to be cried six times Little John,” Will Scarlet snickered.

“Announcing the wonderfully divinely inspired marriage of the good minstrel, Alan-A-Dale, and the beautiful Lady Ellen, performed by Friar Tuck!”

“
THANK YOU Little John,” I shouted, keeping him from continuing. “I’m sure the rest of the Merry Men in Sherwood heard you. Let’s move on.”

Some of the Merry Men, headed by Will Stutely once he returned, guarded the fat knight and the Bishop in the churchyard.

Much, Will Scarlet, and Little John, with his Bishop robe starting to rip at the seams, trooped down the aisle.

Deciding to break wedding traditions, Alan-A-Dale and Ellen entered together, with me trailing behind them.

Friar Tuck rattled through the marriage ceremony. I stared straight ahead and paid the event no attention as Little John and Will Scarlet stared at me.

I only spoke up when Friar Tuck asked “Who gives this fine maid away?”

“I do,” I said, a smile curling at my lips. “And he who takes her from Alan-A-Dale, full dearly he shall buy her,” I said, twisting over my shoulder to speak to the guests and the bullied Bishop and knight, who were still being held on the church steps.

They practically shook in their boots.

When the ceremony was over several of my more exuberant men yipped and yelled while two others found the church bell tower and started ringing the bells.

“Right men,” I called over the happy shouts of the guests, who threw fistfuls of grain at the newly married couple. “We had better go back to Sherwood. No one, not even the Sheriff, could much mistake the racket we’re raising.”
(Truthfully I had half expected him or George to burst into the ceremony.)

“Yes sir!” Little John saluted, the shoulder seam of the robe ripping with the movement.

I blew my horn three times, calling my band to me. “Merry Men, to Sherwood!” I ordered.

“Loved the wedding!”

“Such a pretty bride!”

“Wonderful ceremony!”

My men remarked as they trooped out of the church and started down the church pathway at a jog.

I waved once to Alan-A-Dale and Ellen. They both smiled and blushed as people continued to congratulate them.

I grinned once more in satisfaction, having performed a good dead in spite of my cowardly anxiety, and ran down the path after my men, Will Scarlet and Little John behind me.

We were back in Sherwood in time for a late lunch. Deciding it was too late to travel to Marian’s, I stayed in Sherwood Forest and held regular practice with my men before lurking on the road with a party of seven and robbing two squat lords and a murderous, yet equally snotty, squire.

I was just returning to archery practice when one of the men on guard duty came and found me.

“Erm,
Robyn, there’s a slight problem,” my Merry Man started. It was Robert, the ex tailor.

“Yes, what is it?”

“There is a young man leading a burdened horse and a beautiful maiden through Sherwood. His name is Alan-A-Dale,” Robert said.

I frowned. “What’s Alan doing in Sherwood?” I muttered, leaving my men behind to train under Friar Tuck’s watchful eye.

Robert led me through the forest for ten minutes until we popped out on a small trail. Sure enough, Alan-A-Dale was there with the lovely Ellen and an old horse that had so many saddle bags I suspected Alan and Ellen had packed all of their earthly possessions onto the poor beast’s back.

“Alan, what are you doing?” I asked, pushing my way through the bushes, slightly startling the newly wedded pair. (The horse was too tired to notice.)

“Robin Hood! We’ve come to Sherwood Forest to join your band!” Alan smiled.

“It’s Robyn, Alan. R-o-b-y-n. And even though I accept your loyalty you don’t have to live with us,” I ruefully smiled. “We are happy enough in Sherwood, but many would not be. Particularly those of the newly married variation,” I stressed.

“Alan told me about you, Robyn,” Ellen said, alluding to my feminine gender. “We want to be with you. You have no idea what you’ve done for us. We would like to help.”

Alan nodded
in agreement.

“Alan can entertain your Merry Men at night, and he is fair with a bow. Surely he could help with hunting. I can take over the darning and sewing, and washing,” Ellen continued. Clearly she was the more strategic and
grounded of the two.

“Are you sure this is what you really want to do?” I asked. “We’ll gladly welcome you, but it
is
an outlaw’s life.”

Ellen serenely smiled. “If I spent my entire life trying to pay you back, Robyn, I don’t think I ever could.”

“So let us stay. If we are a burden we will leave,” Alan earnestly said.