Roadkill (LiveWire) (6 page)

Ashley shrugged and shoved us ahead of them, “Guess you must have invited them.”

“Hey Anita,” Matt smiled his devastating slow smile, distracting her further.

“Hey Matt.”
             

Puke, I exchange looks with Leo, but we head out through the French doors (Anita’s house is a mega six bedroom palace); a far cry from the Estates. Lots of kids I vaguely recognise are dancing, drinking, and chucking each other in the shimmering swimming pool. Wow.

There is however, a reason we are gate crashing this party, and after grabbing a violent looking red cocktail (Leo) and a vodka shot (me) I whisper to Leo and we agree to split up, working the garden. We decided, in the unlikely event it wasn’t a LiveWire dare that killed my sister, we would check out the kids from college, and from the skate park. It was Leo’s idea and he was so into spending a night playing detective I didn’t have the heart to talk him out of it. Also, although I couldn’t bring this up for obvious reasons, I was dying to talk to Ashley. At the inquest it was kind of hard on him, as he was the last person to see her alive.

“Caz, don’t get mad but you should be careful round Ashley okay?” Leo is looking all adult and concerned and my heart starts to thump faster.

“Why? Something I should know?”

He shrugs and sips his drink, “I think he might be hiding something. That skate kid Red Bull stuff is all for show, he’s smart, and you said he’s taken drugs. What if Rose found out and…..” he tails off, “I’m just telling you what I think.”

“Come on Leo, you have to be kidding!” He might as well have accused my mum.

“It’s fine. I’m just saying what I think Caz. Don’t get upset. Meet you later by the pool.” He squeezes my arm, while I stand like an idiot, trying to process this information. What is he implying? That Ashley, and by definition Matt
,
I suppose are some hard core drug dealers and Rose knew about it. No chance. I think back to the call Ash took while Matt was, what? Distracting me? What were they really doing down by The Road….

Ouch. I gulp back the alcohol and it hits the back of my throat, burning, making me cough. That is crap, there is no way Ashley was involved. Against my will I remember the papers tried to make out Ashley had something to do with her death, you know, a lovers’ tiff, he ditches her for the long walk hom
e, changes his mind, blah blah…
But Mum and I knew it was lies, and we sat with Ashley’s parents just to make a point.

“Caz! You ok?”

I whip round and see Melissa waving at me across the barbeque, out the corner of my eye I also catch a glimpse of Leo hastily losing himself in the crowd and suppress a giggle.

“I was meaning to come over and see you, but I…um,” she looks embarrassed, I take pity on the poor girl. It was the same when Dad was killed, nobody knew what to say, avoided us or crowded us, too much pity or too little. You can’t ever get it right when someone dies, you just have to follow your instinct. One of The Vultures told me I shut everyone out after Dad’s death, she said to avoid the loony bin I needed to make an effort to re connect with my friends and family this time.

I expect you can imagine what I said, well shouted actually. Anyway, the point is I like Melissa; we hung out a couple of times when Leo wasn’t around. She’s cool, blonde and tall with very white teeth, like a mouthwash advert.

“That’s alright. I’m ok, really.” Stupid but I feel a bit shy suddenly, aware that I haven’t been to a party like this without my sister. This gathering is missing its star attraction, although Anita is desperate to fill the limelight, working it in her denim mini and pink sequin crop top.

Melissa grabs another drink off the garden furniture, which looks expensive but is now littered with half empty bottles and broken glass. “God that Anita is such a bitch! Do you know what she just said to me?” Without waiting for an answer she continues, waving her glass for emphasis “Oh Melissa that top really suits you, it hides all the fat bits! Can you believe that?”

“Unfortunately yes, she said pretty much the same to me the other night. But at least you won’t have to see her after this summer. Are you still going to Liverpool?”

“If I get my three A’s. Forensic Science here I come! You’re doing Biology right? And Chemistry? Good choice.”

“Um…,” Straight answer yes, answer I really want to give, no. The closer I get to reading any sort of sciences, with the prospect of becoming a teacher, a doctor, or being stuck in a lab somewhere like Mum, the more I want to scream and run away. Surprising myself I give her the truth, “I kind of wonder if I could apply to art school instead, you know like St Martin’s in London?” Just to pluck a random name out the air, not one I have dreamed of the whole two years at college.

“Art school – wow! Don’t you have to have A level art though?”

Another stumbling block, “Well I checked and they accept you if you have a promising portfolio. I didn’t want to do sciences, but my mum wanted me to do a ‘proper’ subject, and I kind of felt I had to, you know what with my dad dying and everything.”

A particularly piercing scream and a huge splash indicates Anita has kicked off the skinny dipping. Melissa is nodding wisely, “I know what you mean, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do, and it’s all serious, like you can’t change your mind. Then one night I was watching CSI and it just clicked. My dad’s a vet and he wanted me to do animal science, so he’s kind of happy, but it shouldn’t be about him should it?”

Hmmm, I’m not sure watching a crime show and bang deciding on a career is the best idea, but I like her style!

I can see Leo signalling over Melissa’s shoulder, geeky glasses glinting in the flickering light. But I am quite liking the feeling of having a normal conversation. Proving to myself, I can still survive socially without Rose.

“Hey Caz!”

It’s Matt and my poise shatters. The same honeyed tones he used on Anita, and Melissa is showing no sign of leaving, winking at me in a go
-
for
-
it
-
girl kind of way.

Chapter Seven

“Can I get you another drink?” He is standing close and our arms touch.

I jump like I got an electric shock and mumble some rubbish about having had enough, then inwardly curse myself for sounding like an old woman.

“We were just saying about next year, you know uni and that. What are you doing Matt?”

His eyes crinkle when he grins, and his messy black hair is just a bit too long for style, but it suits his laid back demeanour. A land- locked surf bum. “I got an offer of a place at Durham to read English, and one at Imperial for Maths.

“Wow!” Melissa exclaims. It seems to be her catch phrase and is kind of endearing, “That’s really diverse. What are you going to choose?”

His eyes sparkle, holding mine a little too long, making me flush, glad it’s dark out here. But he doesn’t make the mistake of ignoring Melissa, “I just got the offer of a place on the Red Bull team as well. A chance to go out to Mexico for a promo tour. Not sure I can turn that down.”

“That’s amazing! You must go,” Melissa beams, then tips me another of her very conspicuous winks, “I just have to go talk to Tracy over there. Call me Caz and we’ll fix something up.” She raises a hand in farewell, and vanishes into the heat and the crowds, and I look at the ground giving Matt a chance to escape. He doesn’t.

“I’m so sorry about your sister, Caz.”

“Yeah, you said,” I hastily clear my throat, “Sorry that wasn’t meant to sound bitchy, and thanks…..” I’m suddenly aware I don’t want Rose to dominate the conversation.

“She was great you know, Ashley was really into her. Thought they would wind up married with kids.”

“Hmm. After they conquered the world!”

We laugh, and I swear he moves closer, but a couple of congaing lads bash into us sending me flying into a garden seat.

“Idiots! You okay?”

“Fine. They’re just pissed.” Leo is signalling again from the other side of the pool, looking annoyed, but I can’t tear myself away. This is only the second proper conversation I’ve had with Matt and its giving me a buzz.

“Well you must really miss Rose. I mean you two were like best friends. My sisters always fight.”

Confused, I wonder if I’ve misread him. Perhaps he fancied Rose too. Of course he did, they all did. And best friends? She was mine but would she say the same about me? Lately I’ve started to wonder….

“So what’s with you and Leo?” He downs the last of his drink and looks at me in a way that makes it clear I have misread nothing.

“Nothing, we’re mates.”
             

“Come on, you guys are practically joined at the hip,” he teases.

“He’s gay!” It’s out before I realise it and jeez, Leo is going to kill me.

Matt scoffs, grabbing a bag of crisps from the pile food laid out on wooden trays next to a lounger, “Yeah right Caz. He fancies you.”

I take an offered crisp; salt and vinegar, my favourite, but I’m getting agitated, “What’s it to you anyway?” Bizarrely I feel a bit teary.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just saying, people get the wrong idea about you two, that you’re, you know, together.”

“Is that a bad thing? I don’t see a whole queue of disappointed guys waiting to ask me out!” I force a laugh.

Matt rolls his eyes, “And I thought I was bad at this. Not a whole queue you idiot, just one.”

Before I can process this Leo bursts between us, “Caz! I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages.” He blanks Matt, focusing on me. Leo in high energy mode.

Matt winks at me “Gotta go. See you around Caz.” And he too vanishes into the shadows.

Damn, I try to make sense of what Leo is trying to tell me but he can tell my attention is elsewhere.

“Caz you aren’t even listening! Was Matt giving you grief? Did he ask about Rose?” He is concerned and I tell myself I am so lucky to have him as my friend.

“No, yes…he, well, I think he just asked me out!”

“He did?” I expect Leo to do his girly laugh and get all excited for me but he frowns and looks awkward. Oh god I hope Matt isn’t right.

“Thing is Caz, he asked out that Anita bitch earlier too. I heard him.” He touches my arm, his face changing from green to red and back again in the light of a makeshift strobe someone has rigged up next to the pool. “Sorry.”

I pull myself together, and tell myself it was as I’d thought, someone as cute as Matt would never ask me out for real. He must have been joking. “What…what did you want to tell me Leo?”

He gives me a doubtful little look but then gathers momentum, “Well I found out the week before she died Rose was at a party on the beach.”

“I remember. She camped it with a load of friends. I was meant to go but I got that bug.”

“Yeah, well I was talking to Heidi, you know, from her street dance group, and she said Rose hooked up with this bloke. That night, nobody saw them till morning when she came out of his tent!” He is triumphant, delighted to have scooped some gossip.

I am shocked, naively I suppose given our age, but I kind of thought Matt was right and Rose and Ashley would be together, well forever. They seemed to fit so well, and….bad timing Leo. Very bad. I wonder if Matt was really going to ask me out…

“Hi guys. I bought you some more drinks. Are you coming over to Ratz for closing time?”

“Ashley!” I must look as guilty as I feel because he is immediately confused.

“Caz? You alright?”

“She’s fine. Someone just asked her about Rose. Come on Caz, let’s go home.”

For once I resent Leo speaking for me, it irritates me and I snap at him that I would rather go to Ratz. He looks hurt, and then gives me a look, and says he is tired and wants to head off, but to have fun without him. Ashley looks majorly embarrassed, and I suddenly wonder if he too thinks Leo and me are an item, that he has started a lovers’ tiff.

“Shall we go then?” I ask Ashley, and he nods looking relieved. Walking back through the huge manicured garden, I catch sight of Anita dancing with a boy from college I vaguely remember. As her wrist waves in the air, a flash of silver and turquoise makes my head spin.

“Ash, can I catch you up? I just need to see someone,” and I force my way through the sweaty bodies to Anita.

“Hey Anita!” I shout, catching her hand.

“What the hell are you doing you……?” Anita is furious. She has changed into another tiny skirt, a silver bikini top and the white floaty shirt, her dark hair straggling wetly down her shoulders. The boy, sensing a row, slouches off.

I cut her short, “Where did you get that bracelet?” There is no doubt, now I am close. Her sleeve hid it before, but now in the light flooding from one of the downstairs windows, I can see the silver eagle charm, the turquoise stars. And the recently mended link that broke when she had a minor car accident back in January.

Anita, scowling, snatches my arm and pulls me away from the crowds, guiding me back to the flower bed. The overpowering smell of roses and lavender makes me want to heave.