River's Return (River's End Series, #3) (16 page)

“The day my marriage ended.”

Sinking deeply, his heart felt like it misfired. Isn’t that what he deduced? She was a hurt, betrayed wife, unable to let go of her ex. That was something he clearly had to understand; that and his role here today. He was good at it, of course, because they were good
friends
. Nothing more. And who better to help her through the anniversary of her failed marriage than he?

But why did the knowledge of what caused so much anguish in her have to be another man? And why did that make his stomach churn like he was seasick?

“That’s why I’m here? To help you forget a bad marriage?”

“No, it’s more than that,” she answered softly. He held her tighter. Her butt was cradled in his crotch and the back of his knees spooned behind hers. What more? What caused all the broken plates and hysterical crying? Coming from a woman who was as solid as granite in every other aspect of her life.

He sighed and released her slightly. He needed some space to let this new information fester. Not sure he relished being her rebound screw. But then again, she came after him, and her body was pressed against his side as he lay flat on his back.

Her fingers gently crossed his chest and glided over his piercings. He sighed as she barely tugged on them, driving his nerve endings crazy.

“Maybe we should have something to eat.” He was already reacting to her. And sounding grumpy at her for using him to get over her supposed
long lost husband.
He didn’t want to respond to her. She curled up and her breasts felt soft on his arm.
Damn breasts
.

“I don’t want to eat. I can’t. Not tonight. Just stay here. With me.”

He groaned as she leaned forward before she licked the barbell through his nipple. Watching her do that, Allison’s red head sucking on his pierced nipple, was enough to make him groan and lose the battle with his virtue. She was downright playing dirty. Not expected.

“Fine,” he grumbled as she straddled him. Leaning forward, he buried his face in the deep V of her cleavage and tried to find some compensation in knowing he had her here and now. He was sure he managed to retain her complete and undivided attention,
right now
. And that was something.

Chapter Nine

SHANE WOKE UP AND STRETCHED out, taking a moment to realize he wasn’t in his bed at the ranch. He often wasn’t in his own bed. But he jerked up as he realized it was Allison’s pretty, girl room. A soothing blue color. That had to be her favorite since it was everywhere. Lace drapes fluttered over the long, narrow windows and the morning sun made bright pools on the floor. Allison was not in bed. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. Half of it was still in a ponytail, and the other half hung on his bare chest and face. No, Allison. He hoped, no… it felt more like he
needed
her to be there this morning. Then he shook his head. When did he need anyone? For anything? Especially a woman. To what? Walk him through the morning after?

He slid the covers over his naked body before pulling on his articles of clothing that were close by. Pants. Shirt. Socks. That would do. He heard movement below. At least, she was still there. Thank God. They had to talk. He stopped short.
Had to talk?
How often did he chase after a woman just to talk about why they had sex? Or why she was crying? Still, he had to know.

He hurried downstairs to find her bringing a coffee pot to the table and filling her cup. She glanced up, and with a soft, serene smile said, “Morning, Shane. Would you like some coffee?”

Coffee?
Was she for real? He stared at her as if she were a circling wolf, about to attack him. But no, she just stood there, smiling pleasantly and holding up her coffee cup while waiting for his response. She wore a typical teaching outfit. Today’s slacks were a soft gray with a matching jacket. It wasn’t business-like, but rather, professional. It followed her curves, all those deep, seductive curves that she did a fair job of masking on her body. Her hair was tucked into a ponytail and her bangs fell neat and straight over her forehead. She was still looking at him through her clear, summer sky-blue eyes framed by the golden hue of her lashes and eyebrows. She was really beautiful, in a soft, subtle, pleasing kind of way. A guy could never get sick of looking at her. There was no sharp angles on her, not anywhere, not even on her face. Her eyes were huge and her smile suggested so many different things. Her smiles were amused, happy, annoyed and sarcastic. And he was constantly on his toes, trying to make sure he didn’t piss that mouth of hers off, or make it turn downward into a mean scowl. 

Right then, she sounded exactly the same way as when he dropped by with his own beer. The
Hello, Shane
was just as friendly and every bit as casual. As if he often came down from her bedroom after licking and kissing every part of her body, and her doing the same in return. Yet, not a blush, or flinch of embarrassment, or any acknowledgement of their changed relationship status did she portray. She acted fine. She seemed completely and utterly happy and relaxed to see him. How the hell could she be like that? His stomach was knotted up with nerves. The crazy crying, the broken plates, the out-of-nowhere sex between them. None of it mattered to her in the least? None of it changed everything for her? Because to Shane, it sure as shit felt like everything about them had changed, including his views about sex and women… It all felt mangled up and he couldn’t articulate any reason why. Standing only a few feet away from this woman soon had him freaking blushing and tongue-tied. He was so overwhelmed by her presence.

Plus, he didn’t know this Allison. The
cold-blooded about sex
Allison. This casual Allison, like,
so what if we screwed?
person. Shane was supposed to be that person, not she. He wasn’t sure if he liked the change of dynamics. Or more specifically, the change in how he felt about her.

“Shane?” she asked when he just stood there and didn’t answer.

Reacting to her voice as if it were a cattle prod, he shuffled forward. “Sure.”

She walked to the cabinet and brought a cup out, which she filled. He glanced around and saw the mess was gone. Half her plates and dishes from the china hutch near the dining room table were also gone.

“I don’t eat much usually. You want some cereal? Or I think I might have a few leftover muffins from the weekend. I made them, so they’re decently healthy,” she said while poking her head inside a cabinet as she shuffled around.

She baked too?

“Anything.” Shane was starving. Ravenous. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday mid-afternoon, thanks to her. They went to bed at five and never reemerged.

She brought over a plate with three muffins on it, which she quickly zapped in the microwave. He sat down, feeling unsure as to what significance all this had. But he knew it had to be significant. He stared at his coffee before taking a sip. She did the same. Quiet hung between them now, so thick and uncomfortable, it was like a third person entered the room. Meanwhile, he almost devoured the muffins by simply inhaling. He glanced up at her while she just stood and sipped her coffee and watched him. “These are amazing. You’re a really good cook.”

“Thank you, Shane.” She threw her shoulders back and tapped her fingers against her coffee cup. Then she continued in a calm, normal tone of voice. “I know I seemed a little crazy yesterday… but I hope you won’t tell anyone.” There wasn’t any confusion or embarrassment, not like he predicted from her.

“Tell someone?” he repeated, his mouth dropping open in surprise.
Tell someone? That’s what she’s worried about?

She finally showed her nerve. “Well, I do teach around here. It’s not the Stone Age… but I prefer to keep my reputation pretty clean. Considering…”

He was completely offended. “First, I’d never bad talk you. I never bad talk anyone. But I’d never do anything that might make anyone think less of you.”

She dropped her face and a small smile crossed her lips. “Somehow, I knew that. Thank you. It’s not like I would normally need to keep things secret. But considering what I do, and how small this town is…”

“I get it.” And he did too. On an intellectual level, he totally understood her need for privacy. But it also felt like she was hiding him, or ashamed of him. He wondered if she would feel the same way if he looked like Jack or Ian. Or was it because of other things? Like maybe, his affairs that were pretty widely spread throughout the area. He shifted around in his chair, instantly regretting the last decade of his life. “You can’t risk the damage someone like me could do to your reputation.”

She stepped forward and shocked him even further when she appeared right next to him and pulled his face in her hands. She was gazing down at him, right into his eyes. Standing between his legs, he shifted to accommodate her and set his hands on her waist. “It’s not
you
, in particular, Shane. It’s any man I’m not married to. I wouldn’t even consider mentioning it where I used to teach. That city was huge with thousands of people living in it; and no one really paid attention to what I did. But this valley? Living right here? This place gives new meaning to the word
fishbowl
. And me having an affair? I don’t see it going over well with most of the parents or the school faculty.”

“Affair?” he frowned.
What? This… no. Just no. It wasn’t just an affair. It was so much more. It was something.
But what something exactly, he didn’t yet know… Much more than an affair. She wasn’t Celia, for Christ’s sake.

“One-night stand? I don’t know. What do you call it?”

“Neither,” he said as he tossed her hands off his face and shifted forward. He pretended like finishing up the crumbs on his plate was all he cared about. Silence again. He finally asked, “Should we do something tonight?”

“Oh. I can’t. I have plans. My ex is in town. That’s part of what set me off yesterday. But I’m fine now, and ready to deal with him. What about later this week?”

He dropped his hand from his mouth where he’d been licking his fingers. “Wait. You’re having a freakin’ date with your ex-husband? Tonight? After whatever yesterday meant to you? What the hell?”

She nodded. “We’re actually pretty decent friends. I have a feeling he’s come to tell me he and his new wife are pregnant. It’s just a little hard sometimes to see him moving on so happily. But I understand. And I owe him that. I appreciate knowing he wants to tell me himself and not let me hear it from a third party.”

Shane had no idea what to make of her plan. “
A little hard?
You were surrounded by broken china when I found you. And you were the one breaking everything. How can you say you were just a ‘little’ anything?”

“I know.” She reached out and touched his hair in an almost maternal pat. “I appreciate you not freaking out at me. I know it was probably unusual…”

“Probably unusual? I assumed you were having some kind of mental breakdown. Now you calmly explain that you’re casually going out to dinner with your ex-husband?”

Her face contorted. “You don’t think we’re dating, do you? Because of last night? I mean… I really like you, Shane. You’re right to say we are friends. But, there’s nothing more inside me than that. I just… I can’t be anymore than just that way to anyone.”

He jumped to his feet. No one ever let him down so easily. She was freakin’ trying to spare his feelings. Did she think he wanted to…. What? Date her? No, no way. Shane didn’t date. Not exclusively anyway. Everyone knew that. But here she was, gently explaining to him they were just friends, almost like he was some kind of clingy frat girl.

“No, I don’t think we’re
dating
. I just thought, grab some dinner. Whatever. But no. You go hang with the bastard who had you breaking dinner plates on the floor last night. Makes a lot of sense, teacher.”

She stepped back when he moved closer and filled up her personal space. “And another thing? I don’t date.”

“I know,” she said, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I totally knew that. I just… wanted to feel something last night. Are you mad at me for that?”

“No.” Except he almost shouted it. So maybe he was a tiny bit upset. He took in a sharp breath. “No. I just don’t understand how you maintain an almost amiable attitude about your ex, but your pain in losing him was more like losing a beloved husband to death.”

She shrugged and smiled. “So we’re okay then?”

“Sure. Great. Are you tutoring Erin tonight too?”

“Yes, I’ll be by to see you beforehand.”

“Okay. Great. See you around, teacher,” Shane said as he nearly stomped out. He had no idea what his damn problem was. He started for the stairs while searching for the rest of his things.

Why did her small rejection feel like she just sucker punched him?

****

Allison let the door click softly shut before she leaned back into her chair. She clutched her leather bag in her hand and patted her racing heart. Holy crap. That was so excruciating and embarrassing and confusing. Did she handle it okay? She tried to act all calm and cool and sophisticated. But never in her life was there an occasion to face a man like Shane Rydell, either during sex or afterwards.

He was magnificent. She wasn’t sure how else to describe him. He was a huge, bulky, brazen, bold, macho man among men. When he stripped his shirt off, she was rooted in place. Intimidated. Totally in awe. His shoulders alone spanned the width of a doorway with large biceps and forearms. It wasn’t just muscle. He was a bulky, hairy, brute of a man, with a face that was so beautiful, it didn’t totally match his bruiser body. He was just so immense. It felt like he took up half the square footage in her bedroom. Allison found it hard to breathe next to him.

The colors. God. The swirls of deep, vibrant tattoos were a shock. Only a few trailed down his forearms. She never guessed at the sheer, extensive details in them. The motorcycle was a huge, perfect rendition of the one he built. The others were just as bold and intricate. It all fit him, of course. The long, black ponytail, the skin wrap of tattoos, and the biker mystique that was his signature.

But then again, everything about him was so relatable for Allison. It was like she met the first person in this town with whom she could totally, one hundred percent connect with. No bullshit. No pretense. It just didn’t make any sense to her that it was Shane Rydell, of all men.

Knowing he was the one to see her during one of her now rare spells, was, in a word: humiliating. The rush of shame soon had her closing her eyes to shut out the images of both her pain and his impression of her. Her ex-husband's call just after school saying he would be in town tomorrow to talk to her had set her off. She’d already been sad and upset… but the phone call had made it all hit her as fresh as the day it happened.

But… big, bad biker, Shane? He did everything right for her. So gentle and kind, he held her and was so
there
for her. One hundred percent there. And once in his embrace, she needed to breathe. His giant omnipresence made her feel protected from a world that once destroyed her. And she needed his warmth. His life. His embrace. His body. Yes, that too. When was the last time she wanted to have sex? Years? Yes. Years and years. Before… well, before everything went to shit, she used to love sex. She used to have sex like they did last night. But after it all went to shit, there was no sex like that.