Risky Christmas (4 page)

“I don't know. He wasn't around for long, but he left a hell of a lot better impression than the others. I was sorry to see him go.”

When they arrived at the jetty, Brian climbed onto the path ahead of Mandy while Leah trailed after them, holding Alyssa's hand. Being near deep water always made her uneasy, but his relaxed attitude reassured her.
He hadn't laughed at her or dismissed her fears. Without pushing, he'd encouraged her to step out of her comfort zone.

Maybe some of his assuredness would rub off on her.

They walked to the end of the jetty, watching power-boats and ocean barges in the distance. Leah picked up Alyssa, propping her on one hip. Brian put his hand on Mandy's shoulder, pointing toward the rippling water. “Look, a dolphin.”

“Where?” she asked, searching the horizon.

“Just past that orange buoy.”

While they waited, breathless, the dolphin arced across the surface again. A second dolphin followed close behind, its curved back glimmering in the sun.

“Another one,” Mandy said.

Alyssa gasped. “I see it!”

Leah's eyes met Brian's and they smiled, sharing the moment of wonder. Her heart did a funny little jump inside her chest, half pain, half joy. She wished John was here beside her, but doubted he'd have appreciated the sight.

Swallowing hard, she tore her gaze away. It seemed strange to enjoy another man's company, and unfair to compare him to her husband. She'd been unhappy with John and she hardly knew Brian.

Nor could she get to know him. In the past twenty-four hours, they'd exchanged a meal and shared some very personal information. It was almost as if they'd skipped the acquaintance stage—and she wasn't supposed to make close connections.

She certainly couldn't risk being
more
than friends.

Her pulse throbbed with the realization that the idea appealed to her. He was handsome and compelling,
an irresistible combination of light and dark. He had strong, callused hands. She wanted him to touch her.

“I have to go,” she blurted.

If he was disappointed by her announcement, he didn't show it. They headed back and the girls danced along the shore once again, kicking up sand and saltwater. Leah avoided Brian's gaze and he made no attempt to engage her in conversation.

He didn't speak at all until they reached his front walk. “Thanks for bringing me along,” he said. “It was nice.”

Mandy and Alyssa ran next door and started ringing the bell for fun, a move that never failed to exasperate Leah.

Brian took one look at her annoyed expression and laughed. “They like to try your patience.”

“Constantly.”

“It's a good sign. Kids are supposed to misbehave.”

Leah thought it might be a sign of lax discipline, but she kept that to herself. It was clear that he preferred her parenting style over whatever he'd experienced as a child. At best, he'd been neglected.

“Why don't you let me give you a swimming lesson?”

“Stop that!” she called out to the girls, dodging his question. The idea of diving into the ocean terrified her.

“I know a place with a heated pool. No big waves.”

“That's a very kind offer, but I can't.”

His eyes drifted south, settling on her damp tank top for a split second before rising back to her face. “Okay.”

She forced a smile. Although she wanted to linger, she said goodbye and hurried away. Every moment she spent with him made her long for another, and she couldn't bear to pin her heart on false hopes.

She'd had enough loss in her life.

T
he week passed quickly.

Leah kept busy with the girls, taking them to the park and the movies and even the San Diego Zoo. They enjoyed a glorious stretch of warm weather. The winter break would be over soon, so she was glad they'd made the most of their time.

Brian had been relegated to the back of her mind.

Mostly.

The girls spoke of him less often and no longer begged to pay him a visit. Like all children, they had short attention spans. Soon they would stop asking about him.

Leah couldn't forget him so easily. He'd always been visible, walking to the beach, working out of his truck. Now his presence seemed magnified. They exchanged polite smiles but avoided meaningful eye contact. It was
difficult to pretend he wasn't there. She felt him, even when she couldn't see him. She wondered if he felt her.

By Friday afternoon she'd grown restless. Before Brian knocked on her door, her lackluster existence had been bearable. His vibrancy and strength made her long for the things she didn't know she'd missed.

Cooking usually improved her outlook, so she decided to go to the market. Maybe a plate of fun party snacks would fill the emptiness inside her. It was almost New Year's Eve. She could pretend she was hosting an upscale soiree.

Witnesses in the program were encouraged to change their regular routines. Other than dropping off the kids at school and showing up to work on time, Leah kept a random schedule. Her habits as Leanne Houck, like going to Starbucks every morning or wearing designer clothes, were not part of her new persona.

And she could no longer afford those luxuries she once took for granted. Shopping at Green Market was her one indulgence. She went there to buy fresh produce and quality ingredients every week or so.

This afternoon she had a hankering for fresh mozzarella and imported olives. The selection of goods varied by region, and the Oceanside store had more foreign items than her old standby in Kansas City. Leah grabbed a cart and strolled up and down the aisles, perusing the well-stocked shelves.

When Alyssa started fussing, Leah handed her a piece of sugar-free bubble gum from the bottom of her purse.

“No fair,” Mandy said, stomping her foot. “I want one.”

Leah couldn't find anything but a stray quarter. “You
can buy a gumball from the machine at the front of the store.”

Alyssa tried to climb out of the cart. “Me, too!”

Sighing, Leah lifted her up and set her down. “Hold your sister's hand,” she ordered Mandy. “And come right back.”

They raced off.

“Walk!” she called after them, wincing at the loudness of her voice. She'd always admired serene parents but had no idea how to be one. It wasn't like she
wanted
to screech at her children in public.

Browsing the spices, she found a jar of saffron. There was a round mirror on the wall across from her, placed high enough that the store owner could keep an eye on the customers. When Leah glanced up, intending to make sure the girls hadn't wandered too far, she caught a glimpse of a stocky man standing in the next aisle over.

He turned and walked away, but not before she saw his face.

It was Mariano Felix, her husband's killer.

The spice jar fell from her hand, shattering on the floor. Felix continued around the corner and disappeared.

Leah's heart seized in her chest. She'd only seen him for a split second. Was her mind playing tricks on her? Felix had distinctive wavy black hair and thick eyebrows. This man's hair was shorter but his features were the same.

Abandoning her cart, she ran toward the front of the store, looking for Mandy and Alyssa. No longer concerned with appearing calm, she yelled their names. They weren't at the candy machines near the entrance.

She spun around, searching the immediate vicinity. People were staring at her.

When a man in a tie approached, blocking her view of the parking lot, she felt like shoving him out of the way. “Is there a problem, ma'am?”

“My daughters are missing!”

“I can page them on the loudspeaker,” he said.

Leah didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure which direction they'd gone. What if Felix had followed them outside?

She was about to bolt through the front entrance, screaming bloody murder, when she saw two small, dark-haired heads by the restroom door. There was a drinking fountain against the far wall. Of course.

Mandy and Alyssa walked toward her, hand in hand.

“I see them,” Leah said, nodding at the grocer. Instead of taking her children and leaving the store, she ducked into the bathroom with them, her pulse pounding. With shaking hands, she removed the cell phone from her purse and dialed the U.S. Marshals Service.

“What's wrong?” Mandy asked.

“Never do that again,” Leah said, somewhere between furious and terrified. “I thought you'd been kidnapped!”

“Deputy Marshal Dominguez,” a man answered.

“This is Leah Hansen,” she said, lowering her voice and facing away from her daughters. “I just saw Felix.”

“Where?”

“At Green Market on Mission Road. I'm still here, in the bathroom.”

“What's his current location?”

“I don't know. He might be in the store.”

“Okay,” he said. “Sit tight. An officer will be there in a few minutes.”

It was twenty minutes before Dominguez arrived, and by then Felix was long gone. Working in conjunction with the USMS, Oceanside Police evacuated the market and searched the premises, to no avail.

While a female officer watched over the girls, Leah was questioned in detail about the sighting. She repeated the same information over and over, growing less certain each time she gave the description.

“Are you sure it was him?” Dominguez asked.

“No,” she said, rubbing her arms. It was cold in the store, and she couldn't stop shivering.

“Let me show you the video.”

Leah watched footage from two separate cameras. Both were poor quality and neither had captured a good angle. The height and body type fit Mariano Felix, but there was no way to make a positive identification.

“I looked right at him in the mirror,” she said again.

“The mirror distorts reflections.”

He'd mentioned that already.

“I'll take the footage to tech support and try to have it cleaned up,” Dominguez offered. “We'll also run the license plate numbers for all of the cars in the parking lot. Maybe we'll get lucky.”

“Do I have to move again?” she asked.

His brows rose at the question. In the past eighteen months, they'd relocated her from Kansas City to Seattle, and from Seattle to Oceanside. “I doubt it. Sightings like this aren't uncommon, Leah. I'd like for you to speak with a psychologist—”

“You don't believe me?”

He gave her a reassuring smile. “We will investigate to the fullest. In the meantime, it's wise to exercise caution. A squad car will patrol your neighborhood over the weekend. You can meet with Dr. Phelps on Monday.”

“Fine,” she said, sighing. She didn't want to be relocated. She just wanted this nightmare to be over.

 

Brian washed and dried the plastic containers and put them back inside the red-striped gift bag Leah had given him.

He'd planned to leave the items on her doorstep. It was almost 9:00 p.m., pretty late for a family with young children, and it hadn't escaped his attention that she wasn't interested in continuing their acquaintance. But before he could set down the bag and walk away, she wrenched the door open.

Her gaze was wide-eyed and mildly accusatory. He wasn't surprised by that, having encountered her fierce protectiveness before. What knocked him for a loop, once again, was her beauty. Maybe because she appeared plain from a distance, he was fascinated by how striking she was up close.

Over the past week, he'd told himself that his memory had embellished the loveliness of her face or the shape of her breasts.

A quick glance down confirmed his recollection. The soft, loose shirt didn't quite camouflage her figure. He suspected she wasn't wearing a bra and might have been tempted to stare if he hadn't noticed a far more important detail: she looked distraught.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“Just to return this,” he said, handing her the gift bag.

Accepting it, she peeked inside. “You didn't have to. The containers are disposable.”

“Oh.” Now he felt like an ass for disturbing her. “Well, thanks again for the invite. Everything was delicious.”

Her eyes filled with tears.

Brian worried that she was going to break down in sobs the moment he walked away. “What's wrong?”

Shaking her head, she avoided his gaze.

“Is someone bothering you? Besides me, I mean.”

She laughed at his self-deprecating humor. It was a strange, sad laugh, and an awkward moment, but some of the tension between them eased. “You're not bothering me,” she said. “I just had a rough day.”

“Tell me about it.”

After a moment's deliberation, she waved him inside. “The girls are in bed already.”

Brian's pulse jumped at the news. Her girls were great, but he liked the idea of being alone with her.

“If I had anything besides juice, I'd offer you a drink.”

“I'm not much of a drinker,” he said, shrugging. He bought a six-pack every so often, but never drank more than one at a time.

She sat down on the couch, gesturing for him to do the same. “I had a scare earlier.”

His muscles tightened. “What kind of a scare?”

“Mandy and Alyssa walked away from me at the grocery store. When I went to look for them, I couldn't find them. I panicked.”

“Where were they?”

“At the drinking fountain,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I felt this overpowering terror. I didn't know what to do, or where to start searching for them. And I didn't handle it well.”

Brian's shoulders relaxed slightly. No one had hurt her or her children. “How did you handle it?”

“I ran around the store, screaming like a crazy woman.”

He smiled at the obvious exaggeration.

“It's not funny,” she said.

“No,” he agreed, schooling his expression.

“I made a scene.”

He studied her with interest, wondering why she disliked drawing attention to herself. She dressed to blend in and seemed uncomfortable with scrutiny. “Most mothers would react the same way.”

She nibbled on her lower lip, appearing uncertain.

“My mom wouldn't, of course. But she made plenty of scenes. She collapsed in the grocery store once, if I remember correctly.”

The blood drained from her cheeks. “Why?”

“Drugs, I suppose. I was only seven or eight, so the details are fuzzy. I remember watching her ride away in an ambulance.”

“What did you do?”

“I stole a candy bar while everyone was distracted and walked home.”

Her mouth dropped open.

“You take good care of your girls, Leah. My mother wouldn't even have noticed if my sister or I disappeared.”

“I'm sorry,” she said.

“Don't be. I turned out fine.”

“Is your mother still alive?”

He nodded, glancing away. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. Brenda had been a loving, conscientious parent, like Leah. And yet, she'd died young while their drug-addled mom soldiered on. “It doesn't seem fair, does it?”

“No.”

“Was your husband—” He cut himself off, realizing the inappropriateness of the question.

“Was he what?”

He bit the bullet. “Was he a good dad?”

“No,” she admitted, after a short hesitation.

Brian stared at her in amazement. The answer was unexpected, but plainly sincere. “Why not?”

“He was a good man, and he loved the girls, but he gambled. The habit…devoured him. It took him away from us.”

Her confession was like a punch in the gut. He didn't understand how a man could fail such a beautiful family.

“Sometimes I'm glad he's dead,” she said, her voice flat. “Mandy and Alyssa weren't old enough to understand what he was going through. In their eyes, he was perfect. If he'd lived, I'm afraid he would have continually disappointed them.”

He knew what she meant. In his twenties, he'd given up hope that his mother would change, but he'd never been able to stop caring about her. Even now, she had the power to let him down.

“You think I'm terrible.”

“I'd be a hypocrite if I thought that.”

She examined his face. “Is that why you were alone on Christmas? Being with your mother is too difficult?”

He leaned back against the couch, resting his arm on the frame. “It's difficult, yes. I haven't been in touch with her since Brenda's funeral. It was frustrating to see her grieve. Too little, too late, if that makes sense.”

Her eyes softened with understanding.

“I also wanted to be alone this year. Or, I thought that was what I wanted.”

“Why?”

“Christmas is always weird for me,” he said. “I have a friend from the foster care system that I sometimes
hang out with, but he got married last summer. This year he went with his wife to visit her family for the holidays.”

“You've never been married?”

“No.”

“What about a steady girlfriend?”

“No one lately,” he said, feeling heat creep up his neck. He hoped she wouldn't ask how long he'd been sleeping alone. “My friend's wife has threatened to put my picture on an internet dating site.”

She laughed, raking a hand through her hair. “You should let her.”

Brian watched her intently, fascinated by every line of her face. He had no intention of allowing Gretchen to take over his love life. If he couldn't find a woman on his own, he didn't deserve one. “You should let me give you a swimming lesson.”