Rising Darkness (12 page)

“Why did I do what?” Joe asked. He was not sure what she was getting at.

“Why did you kill our mother?” Kirsten asked.

Joe’s heart felt like it was stopping in mid beat in the middle of his chest. The pain was shooting from his head to his chest and back again. He felt like he was about to puke everywhere. He wanted to purge himself of all of the pain and the agony that had been thrust upon him recently. It was pure hell. He felt his mind begin to slip. His daughter thought he had killed her mother. Why did she think that? What in the hell was going on inside her mind?

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to your mother. I loved her so much,” Joe said.

“Liar!” Kirsten yelled in his ear. The pain was debilitating and Joe knew that if it wasn’t for the ropes that had him tied to the chair then he would have fallen to the floor by now. Oh, how that would have felt so amazing. He wanted to just allow himself to sink down as low as he could possibly go and just fade away. That would have felt so sweet right then.

“Why would you accuse me of that?” Joe asked. He had to go on the defensive a bit. She was not going to listen to reason. He knew that if he had any hope of surviving this then he had to stop acting like a victim. The victim mentality was going to give her thought process validity. If he was acting like he did something wrong then that was just going to confirm it in her mind.

“Because I know it’s true. I might be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you did not mean to kill her. I am not sure whether or not to this day you set up her accident so she would die and you could be rid of her, or if you just decided to ignore her long enough so that she would
eventually just kill herself.”

“How could you say that to me? You know how much I loved her. She was my whole world. She was the mother of my children. How dare you accuse me of that?” Joe was now yelling. He was beginning to feel a bit empowered and though it sent a roar of pain through every nuance of his brain he found the will inside of him to yell at the top of his lungs. He had to reassert dominance here or she would not begin to back down.

“I know you did it. You can lie all you want. I will never believe you. I have waited for years until the time was right to strike and carry out this work. Now that time has come.”

“What plan? How long have you been thinking of all this?”

“Since I was probably twelve. That was when I decided to kill Tracy.”

Joe felt his breath catch in his throat and he began to cough uncontrollably. The air in the room suddenly felt very heavy and he began to have a bit of trouble breathing. Was he having a panic attack? He had not had any of these types of attacks in years. After Tori died he had a bit of difficulty just going throughout his day and he had some painful panic attacks. He had eventually gotten it under control, but he believed that he was having one now. His chest was getting tighter and tighter. He could not breathe no matter how hard he tried.

He had to keep her talking though. If she thought for a moment that he was not paying attention to her or taking her seriously then he was going to be in a lot of trouble. She might kill him instantly out of some sort of rage induced fit. He felt tears welling up in his eyes. He could not believe that he was having those kinds of thoughts about his baby girl. He had nurtured her when she was sick as a child with the flu on multiple occasions. He had watched her softball games and school plays. He had blown on her cuts and scrapes when she hurt herself playing outside. He was her father and now she was threatening to kill him after telling him that she had murdered his wife. How was he supposed to go on another day just knowing this information?

“What did you say?” Joe asked. He needed her to hear what she had said again. And it was a good way to waste time, despite the fact that hearing those words again would cause them to echo in his brain for all eternity.

“I killed Tracy. That’s right. I stabbed that bitch up good,” Kirsten said. She was relishing every single moment of the terror she was causing him. He could sense her joy through her clenched teeth as she taunted and teased him. It was like she had been possessed by some sort of a demon. His daughter was not his daughter anymore. She was some psycho that he didn’t know at all. Had this person always existed in side of her? Was there a specific time that turned her into this?

“Why? Why did you kill Tracy? She loved you. She was good to you girls,” Joe began.

“Yea, she was a damn saint. I didn’t really have a problem with her. She was actually pretty nice and a cool step mom to have. Her only sin was marrying you. I killed her just because I wanted to torture you.”

“Why didn’t you just kill me?” Joe asked. He instantly regretted the decision. It was like putting thoughts in the mind of a baby who was strapped to a bomb.

“Because torturing you is so much more fun. You didn’t kill me; you killed my mom. That pain has lasted me my whole life and will last me the rest of my life. I had to do something that would hurt you in the same way. So I killed Tracy and then I framed you for it. I figured that you should at least go to jail for killing one of your wives.”

Joe’s mind was frantic worrying about what to do. He tried to move his arms, but the ropes were tied too tight. There was no way to get out of the restraints. He had to get Kirsten to drop her guard somehow. How was he going to do that? Joe did not have any answers at this time. His nerves were still getting the better of him. All he wanted to do was go to bed and shut the world out.

He found himself thinking about how hard Alex had tried to fight. He had not given up when it seemed totally logical to do so. He had fought and was willing to fight to the death. That was the mindset Joe knew that he had to adopt.

But it was almost impossible to adopt that mindset to your own kid. Kirstie needed help. She was sick. The real her was in there somewhere. He knew that he could find a way to reach her. She was there. She was just buried beneath so much pain and rage. It had been too much for her to bear when her mother had died. She had grown up with a huge emptiness in her heart and Joe thought that he could overcompensate and find some way to fill that hole. He was wrong. Whatever he did just dug the hole inside of her deeper and deeper. He felt so ashamed. He had been a lousy father and he had messed up both of his kids. Maybe he deserved to be punished. Maybe all of this was really happening for a reason and he should just accept his fate and lie down.

“I never knew that it was possible for you to have so much hate in your heart,” Joe said.

“Well, you never really asked. But yea. I have this much hate and a hell of a lot more. Thanks for the memories.”

“It is not too late, dammit. We can get you help. You are sick. It isn’t your fault.”

“Oh, I know that it’s not my fault. It is all your fault. You were a lousy father and a lousier husband and my mother is dead because of you. I don’t care if you never admit to it and if you never take responsibility for what you did, but I know that you will pay for what you did. I’m going to see to that.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Well, I’m going to kill you and make it look like a suicide. I was going to send you to prison forever but you and that dumbass Alex had to mess that up. Why couldn’t that man just die under the wheels of the van I stole? It messed up everything.”

Joe wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at some of Kirsten’s ramblings. She was utterly insane. He could not for the life of him figure out how she was able to function in the world so well with all of these psychotic thoughts floating around in her mind. It had to eat at her constantly and she had to pretend to be normal. Did that mean she was really crazy? He had heard that crazy people could not control their behavior at any time.

But she had to be certifiable. If somehow he managed to get out of this without dying and without his daughter dying then he wondered where they would send her. Would she go to prison or a state run mental hospital? That was the fifty million dollar question, wasn’t it?

“This way you don’t get to suffer, really. It will all be over very quick like. But I just wanted you to know exactly why you were being killed,” Kirsten said.

She pulled a big knife out of her pocket just then. It was a bowie knife and Joe could actually see dried blood on it. He wondered who else she had used the knife on. It was disturbing on another level to him. He had to run. He had to find a way out of here. This crazy girl was going to gut him.

“Please, don’t do this. Sweetie, I never meant to do any harm. I loved your mother. You have to believe that. I was a shitty husband and I was a shitty father, but do you seriously think your mother would have wanted this? If she thought I was so bad then why did she leave you girls with me to raise by myself? She must have thought I would do the job right and I know I messed up sometimes, but I did the best that I could. You have to believe me. Even your sister would admit that I did my best.”

“My sister? You really believe that Elena would not want this to be done? She was the one who always talked about how much she hated you. She talked about it until she was blue in the face. After a while I grew up enough to realize that she wasn’t just angry at the world for no reason. I started to see how who you are and what you did affected our lives. We had horrible childhoods.”

“I don’t think that is fair. How many times do I have to explain to you that I did my best? I did the best I could! You have to stop this. You killed an innocent woman. You killed my angel. You killed my wife!”

“Your angel? My mother was supposed to be your angel. What about that shit?”

“Your mother and I were not meant to be. We were both young and unaware of who we each really were when we got married. We loved each other a great deal and I was happily married, but as we got older I think we both knew deep down that it would not last. Even if she had not died then we probably would have split up eventually.”

“So what? She would still be alive! I would still have my mother. I would have someone who really understood me. I would have someone who loved me and cared for me unconditionally. A father isn’t those things. At least you weren’t. You were the exact opposite of those things. You were a fraud in every possible way. I’m done yapping in your ear. Even when facing death you won’t admit to how wrong you were.”

Kirsten raised the knife and got ready to strike. Joe felt the end near and he made quick work of saying goodbye to the world. The life that flashed through his eyes was not his own though; it was Kirsten’s.

“What are you doing?”

The voice screamed through the house. Joe opened his eyes and looked right into the frightened face of Elena. She was standing in the doorway holding a backpack. She looked as if she had not slept in a few days and Joe feared the worst that she might be on drugs again.

Kirsten had stopped in mid stroke. She had been about to slice Joe’s throat and possibly take his head clean off. He was not sure how much force that would take. He saw the sharp blade gleaming in the light out of the corner of his eye. The blade held such purpose that he both feared and respected it. His daughter’s weapon of death; it was hers and she had wielded it on who could say how many occasions.

“Big sis! I’m glad you are here. You don’t want to miss this,” Kirsten said.

Joe waited for Elena’s reply. She just stood there with her mouth half open. She was trying to make sense of what was going on just as Joe had at first. She could not understand how this was going to happen. Was Kirsten going to try to recruit her sister into this mess too? Or was she going to realize that she was all alone in her twisted mind and her warped thinking?

Joe was trying to no longer think of Kirsten as his daughter. She was gone. The little girl that he had loved and raised was an illusion if she had ever existed at all. She was gone and he knew that he was never going to get her back. The thought brought tears to his eyes and he wanted to just crumble away and forget that he had ever lived, but he knew that Tracy would want him to remain strong.

She was the only thing getting him through this right now. He had no doubt about that. Tracy was his rock and his center of everything. Even though she was dead he could still feel her as if she was sitting right beside him all the time. All he had to do was think about her and she was there. She would have been sickened and disgraced if she were here right now to see what had become of Kirsten.

“What are you doing Kirsten?” Elena asked as she slowly stepped into the house, closing the door behind her.

“I’m doing what we have dreamed of since we were kids; I’m killing this old bastard.”

“What planet are you on? Why in the hell would we kill dad?” Elena asked.

“You and I have talked about this. You know why. This is your idea!” Kirsten was screaming now, becoming extremely agitated. Joe was not sure what the girl might do if she became too agitated. The hunting knife was still clutched tightly in her hand, ready to strike at anything whose life she felt had to end. That was the power she had created for herself.

Elena moved a little closer, but still kept her distance from Kirsten. The fear and the caution in her face told Joe everything that he needed to know. Elena did not know anything about this. Kirsten had lost it all by herself. But did Kirsten know that? What would happen in a minute when she found out that everyone, including Elena thought she was crazy?

“No. this is wrong. We never talked about this. This is dad! What the hell are you doing?”

“You blamed him for mom’s death first. I know you haven’t forgotten about how right you were. Come on; don’t get soft on me Elena!”

“You are so insane. We were kids. I was trying to deal with mom’s death the same as you were. I felt like blaming someone so I took it out on dad, but it wasn’t his fault. He tried. I know he tried because I saw how hard he worked to take care of us and how tired he always was. He did so much and I have resented him for far too many years because of it.”