Rise of Phoenix (3 page)

He sat with his sword by his side watching the water flow past. He was lost in thought and, carefully, she sat beside him on the grassy bank.

“I made a fool of myself,” he said, after a while.

“No.” She reached out and touched the back of his hand. “No, you didn’t.”

“I should go,” he said. “I don’t belong here and we would be harder to find if we separated.”

“You’re not getting out of it that easily,” she said, forcing a smile. “I need you to help me. We have to expose the guild for what they really are. I have sworn to avenge Gaia’s death and that is what I intend to do...”

“I’m sure Cassius can help you.”

“Cassius?” she said, “Cassius hates me!  He wants me gone.”

Ash looked up. “He seemed to think you were betrothed to him.”

Serafin sighed. “That was a long time ago,” she said, “We were children, and it was just an agreement between our parents.”

“You never mentioned it,” he said. “In all the years I have known you, you never even mentioned that you were betrothed to be married.”

“It never came up.”

He looked at her. “Never came up!?” he said angrily.

“No! It never did and even if it had done I wouldn’t have mentioned it, it’s not important—”

“Not important? Did you never stop to think that maybe
I
would think it was important?”

“Why would it matter to you?” she said, angry that he should want to interfere with her life.

He looked away, staring determinedly at the river.

“I never intended to go through with it,” she said eventually. “That’s why I never considered it to be important. I never wanted it and I don’t think Cassius wanted it either… it was one of the reasons I wanted to get away from here.”

“I’m sorry,” he said slowly “I just… I’m just upset that I didn’t know, that’s all. I thought we were good friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she said. “I think I just pretended it had never really happened, that nothing had ever happened before I entered that Abbey.”

“I guess I can understand that,” he conceded.

“We should get back,” Serafin said. “We have to get ready for the party tonight.”

“Party?”

“My mother is throwing a part in honor of my return.”

“Have you told them
why
you’ve returned?”

She scrambled up from the bank and stared back at the Circus camp.

“Not yet,” she whispered.

***

There was a great bonfire in the middle of the meadow. They would often have a bonfire on their last night in a town, never on the first, but her mother had explained this was an exceptional case.

Serafin had been welcomed home by nearly every member of the troop, some of whom seemed just the same as the day she left, especially the white-faced-clown, Claude, who even appeared to be wearing the same clothes. She didn’t initially recognize the other two clowns; it was only when her mother introduced them that she realized they were his children, the youngest of which had barely been out of his mother’s arms when Serafin had left.

“It’s good to have you home.” Claude had said, enthusiastically shaking her hand. “So good to see you my dear, you look so, so well. Will we be seeing you take to the air again?”

“I don’t think so,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Shame, shame.” he said shaking his head, but still smiling.  He gave Ash’s hand a brief shake before moving off to get some of the food.

“Take to the air?” asked Ash, as soon as Claude was out of earshot.

“Oh,” he said, “with Cassius?”

“Actually,” she turned to look at him with unabashed pride “
instead
of Cassius; I was far better than him.”

Ash laughed. “Speaking of which,” he said, looking around, “Where is Cassius?”

Serafin scanned the gathering.  There were so many faces, so many she didn’t recognize and only a few that she did, but she couldn’t see Cassius amongst them.

“Probably sulking in his caravan,” she said.

Just then a hush came over everyone.

“What’s happening?” whispered Ash.

“It’s my mother,” said Serafin, watching as Pythia took her place in front of the fire and everyone found a place to sit. “She’s going to tell a story.”

Serafin sat down on the grass and indicated to Ash to take the place beside her.

She smiled as the memoires came flooding back of the last time she had been by a campfire listening to stories. It made her feel safe, protected, at home.

“In the deep past…” started her Mother, her voice the deep, resonant voice she used for her performances, “lived a young boy, the son of a fisherman. His name was Fabian.”

Serafin allowed the familiar words to wash over her like a warm blanket.  She closed her eyes and listened to her mother’s story.

“Every morning he would go out with his father to fish the oceans, and every night he would come back, once again, to the land. Until one day, a great storm caused their fishing boat to capsize.  A great wave came and swept young Fabian out to sea’

‘His father searched for him, and prayed for him to come home, but days turned to weeks, weeks to months and eventually his father lost all hope. He cursed the ocean, vowing never to go out to sea again. That night there was another great storm. The sky filled with lightning and the rain tore down on the fisherman’s hut. All night the storm thrashed against the fisherman’s home, and then, at the darkest point before the dawn, there came a knock at the door—”

Serafin turned to Ash.  He was captivated by the story.  The fire shone on his face and in the soft light he seemed so young and actually quite handsome. She felt a pang of guilt about having brought him with her on this journey, about forcing him out of the guild and away from his home and friends. She tried to ignore how she felt and went back to listening to the story.

“and Fabian said to his father ‘and so I must, for as long as the all elements obey me I am the most powerful in all the five kingdoms’ and so he slept in the branches of an apple tree to restore his strength, but, come the light of dawn, the Emperor’s army had amassed and were marching on the great city—”

Serafin noticed her father standing at the edge of the group.  He was distant from the others and looking directly at her. She hadn’t had a chance to speak to him and she felt that she needed to. She needed to know how he felt, and whether her return was as welcome to him as it was to her mother.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered to Ash.  He nodded but barely glanced at her; he was absorbed in the fairytale.

Serafin picked her way through the crowd and over to her father, who saw her coming and turned to walk away. She ran to catch up and walked by his side in silence.

“I
am
happy to see you,” he said eventually, although he didn’t look to her.

“I’m sorry I left the way I did.”

“Your mother took it very hard.”

It hurt to hear him say that, but she had known how upset her mother had been, for the first few years away the only letters she had received from her mother had been begging her to come home. It hadn’t always been easy, but she had been determined to finish her training and become a healer.

“And you glad to see me?” she asked, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

He stopped walking and stared up at the sky. It was a clear night and out in this part of the country the sky was brimming with stars. It was so different from the sky back at the Abbey, above the plains of Talabrigga. Out in the mountains she really felt as though she was closer to the stars, as if it she could just leap up and grab them out of the sky.

“I understood why you had to go.” He breathed out slowly and looked at her. “I knew exactly why you wanted to be a healer.”

She looked away. She knew that coming back here she would have to face the memory at some point, would have to drag those emotions up from deep within her and confront the demons that had plagued her.

“It was my fault,” he said reaching out a hand to her, “I should never have taught you fire-taming, I should never have expected so much from you, so young: I showed you how to use the power but not how to control it.”

Suddenly she remembered the screams. She hadn’t allowed herself to go back to that memory but now it washed over her like a black wave.  She could hear the screams and feel the heat of the flames. She had been so frightened; she had stood frozen to the spot while they had fought to control it. By the time her father had arrived and rushed in to pull out her brother, it had been too late. 

Max had died in his father’s arms.

“No one ever blamed you for what happened. It was an accident, and you were never expected to have been able to control a fire of that size.  It was almost impossible even for me.” He reached out and took her in his arms.

“I just couldn’t control it.” She sobbed, “It just ... it grew so quickly… I didn’t have the power to stop it.”

“I know.” He held her tightly. “I know.”

She let herself cry, as she let all the pent up emotion pour out of her and allowed herself to accept her father’s forgiveness. She had always judged herself so harshly for what had happened, but as she had grown and learned to control her talent she had slowly begun to realize just how difficult it was to tame fire and how much she had expected of herself that day. But she would never shake the memory of it and she would never be able to forgive herself.

“That’s why you’re back isn’t it?”

She looked up at him confused.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Because of that woman at the Abbey. I heard it in the town; a novice Healer and a Guardian escaped after causing a fire in which a Matron died… but it’s no good running away from your mistakes, you have to face them head on—”

“No!” she said pulling away from him, “I can control it now!”

“So it’s not you that the Guild is after?”

“No, it
is
me… but it wasn’t an accident.”

“I don’t understand Serafin… are you saying that you intended to kill that woman?”

She covered her eyes; she didn’t know how to explain. She hadn’t wanted the conversation to go this way. She needed the support of the travelers to help her overthrow the guild. She needed to gain their support for some sort of rebellion. She knew that as outcasts the travelling community would be far more likely to get behind a leader opposed to the guild. But they would never join forces with a murderer on the run.

She realized she had no plan, no thought as to what she was going to do next, or even how to go about exposing the Guild.

“It was self-defense,” she explained finally, not expecting him to understand but hoping that he would trust her, that there was still enough love in his heart for him to listen to what she had to say.

“Self-defense?”

“I uncovered a dark sect within the Healer’s Guild; they were using dark rituals to extend the life of rich patrons, whilst sacrificing the poor, or sometimes even Healers themselves.”

She waited for him to react, waited for him to tell her she was mad, or mistaken, as Ash had done when she first told him her suspicions.

“And you are certain of this?” He looked at her intently.

“I witnessed a ritual myself, and the Abbess confirmed that there is a rotten core within the Guild.”

He nodded slowly.

“I have heard rumors.”

“Really!?” she said, unable to hide both her relief and surprise.

“In the last few years we’ve been to dozens of places, all across the county where people are frightened of the Abbeys.  They say that no one comes out alive. Even the most desperate of people, mothers with children dying in their arms, refuse to go through those doors. I thought they were superstitious fools, afraid of magic. But if what you say is true, then the problem may be far bigger that you imagine.”

She hadn’t considered how deep the problem was, how far it had stretched. She felt stupid for not having noticed it before, for having been a part of the guild for so long. But at least she knew that people believed her, that she had her father on her side and that perhaps they had a chance after all.

“So you’ll help me?” she asked.

“Help you?”

“I have to stop the Guild from doing this, prevent more deaths.”

“I can’t help you Serafin.”

She looked at him, confused. “But you just said…”

“I said I believe you, but I can’t help you.”

She stared at him dumbfounded.

“We’re already outcasts, Serafin, you know that. If we get behind a crusade like this it would be seen as treason, and none of us would be safe. We would be expelled from the country and they wouldn’t just stop with us.  Every traveler, every gypsy, every member of every circus and carnival would be hunted down. I can’t risk the safety of my people in order to help you with some childish quest.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“There is nothing
to
say Serafin. You’ve already put us all in danger just by coming here. I do love you, but if what you say is true, you need to leave.”

He stepped forward to take her back into an embrace, but she couldn’t let him. She felt betrayed and she felt alone.

She turned and ran back towards the bonfire. She skirted around the party, heading towards the edge of the meadow and sat on the grass beside the dry stone wall. It was only when she got there, only when she knew she was out of sight that she allowed herself to cry.

She could have screamed in frustration and anger. How could her father, when he knew what the Guild were doing, how could he stand by and allow it?

She had never believed him to be capable of such a selfish act. He had always been there for her, had always protected her. Even while she had been at the Abbey it was often his words of wisdom, either through remembered stories or his letters, that had helped her to cope in the darkest of times, but now all of that seemed to have crumbled away from her and she felt as if she was freefalling in to an abyss.

“Are you alright?”

It was Ash. He stood, nervously, a few paces away. She tried to wipe her tears and say she was fine, but he’d caught her off guard and she struggled to speak. He sat down and put his arm around her, patiently waiting for her to explain.