Rise Against the Faultless (10 page)

The ride to get home seemed to
take ten times longer than it had that first day we arrived at the Training
Compound, especially considering the pounding in my head and sandpaper like
feeling in my mouth. Lo and I felt like children, and giddily talked about how
great it would be to sleep in our own beds. Not that they were much different
than the ones in our dorms, they looked and functioned the same, but there was
an ease to being at home that could not compare with anywhere else. We had been
reminded of the dire consequences of discussing training at home, but they had
nothing to worry about with me. The last thing I wanted to talk about was
training, in fact, I will banish it from my thoughts completely for the
entirety of my break.

Ari was also on the bus but he
was in the very back and I couldn’t see him. He and I were deposited in front
of our house, but I knew no one would be home for several hours. So we would be
there until Dale got home from school and Mom and Dad got home from work, with
only each other for company. I knew he had a chip on his shoulder, but with
patience, it would be worked out. He couldn’t hold a grudge against me forever
for being chosen for Command, something that was completely out of my control.
If I could give him the responsibility I would do it in a heartbeat. Pretty
soon he would break, and it would all be on the table. He would spill his guts
about how he felt and we could hash it out and be done with it. Until then, it
was only social niceties that we exchanged. He asked how I had been, if I was
feeling okay. We were both fine, just fine. We then went to our rooms to
unwind. Not really to unwind, really to get away from the awkwardness of one
another’s company.

I laid down on my bed and let
out a long breath. It felt like three and half month’s worth of stress came out
of my body with that breath. Oh, how I had longed to be here. The comfort that
only being at home can bring. It only took moments before I was sound asleep. I
hadn’t realized just how tired I had been, but it made sense. I had been
physically and mentally put through the ringer since leaving and it had taken
its toll. I must have slept for at least five hours because the lovely sound
that woke me up was, “Whoa, Raily! Your arms are bigger than Dad’s!” I had
slept until that evening, and Dale was jumping up and down on my bed telling me
to get up. I grabbed him in a playful headlock and mussed his hair until he
broke free. He gave me a big cheesy grin and then I grabbed him up and swung
him around.

“I sure did miss you, buddy. It
looks like you have grown like four, maybe five inches since I left.”

“Probably more like six or
seven.” He laughed and I had to choke back tears at the sound of it. I wish I
could bring that laugh back with me. The carefree sweetness of it was missing
at the Training Compound.  “For real, Raily, you got buff!” He was
exaggerating, but he did have a point. I could feel and see the difference in
my body. I
felt
stronger. I had muscle definition that was not there
before, but I wasn’t bulky. I had always been thin, but now my clothes fit a
little bit better because I was filling them out with muscles.

“Well, maybe now I’ll stand a
fighting chance against you!” I tickled him and sent him into a giggling,
kicking, fighting mess until we both collapsed laughing. “Have you seen Ari?
You know he’s home, too.”

“Nah, he left a note that he
was going to a friend’s house. That was hours ago, how long have you been
asleep?”

“Too long! Let’s go down and
see Mom and Dad.” I helped him up and we went downstairs. I found Dad in the
living room, reading quietly. I gave him a big hug, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Well I knew you needed your
sleep, I was just grateful to see you, sweetheart.” He smiled at me and hugged
me again and then pulled back, inspecting my face, “You’re wearing makeup now.”

I felt a little sheepish and
turned red, “Yeah, most of the girls do.”

“You look beautiful, and so...
grown. I’m just not adjusting well to my baby girl being grown up is all. Have
you seen your mother yet? I think she’s outside.”

“No, I think I’ll go out and
say hi.” I walked out of the back door. My mother was sitting in a patio chair,
staring off into the sky. She was concentrating so hard that she hadn’t even
heard the door when I came out. I walked around and tapped her shoulder. She
started and then gave a big grin. She immediately jumped up and threw her arms
around me. I was a little startled. After the way that we left things, I wasn’t
sure what it would be like between us. I haven’t forgotten, though.

“How are you, Raily? What is
this bruise?” She frowned at an old bruise under my cheek. I had tried to cover
it up before coming here, but some of the makeup must have brushed off during
my nap.

“I’m good, it’s nothing.” I
wasn’t sure how much or how little I could elaborate, so I gave her a
reassuring smile and left it at that. She didn’t seem convinced, but put her
arm around me and led me back into the house. I’m not sure why she was sitting
out in this cold anyway.

Things felt so wonderfully
normal here, as if I hadn’t missed a beat. Dale rambled on excitedly about
school and when Ari got home, he bent Dad’s ear about science. Of course, he
didn’t talk about the Training Compound, but he and Dad had always shared the passion.
We all ate together and talked until we were exhausted. Even after my hours
long nap I was ready for bed. 

The next day I was committed to
doing as little as possible. My mind needed a break from the constant learning
and training and stress. No one asked me to do anything, either. They all just
seemed genuinely happy for me to be home. Ari was the exception, there. We
hadn’t talked about my being chosen for Command, even though he knew it. Any
time that we were left alone in a room together, he suddenly had something to
do elsewhere.  Our relationship had never been rock solid, but I felt it could
take a turn for the worse now. I wanted to go to him and tell him that it
wasn’t my choosing. That I couldn’t help it, that I would change it if I could.
I wish that I could spill my guts to my father about how hard it had been and
how much I doubted myself. I wanted to confess to Dale that he would get to eat
fresh delicious bread at the Training Compound. I wanted to yell and scream
with my mother until we hashed things out and got our relationship back.  I had
no control. There will be a lot that goes unsaid on this trip, but I will take
what bits of happiness that I can get.

Lo came over for a little while
that afternoon. “I love my father, but he is so
intense
!” She laughed. I
smiled at the thought that he had scheduled all kinds of activities for he and
Lo to do together. I instantly felt sorry for him. Lo was all he had. She knew
that, but she just needed a small break. “So, distract me. What’s going on?”

We had wandered to the back
yard, which is where we liked to talk at my house. We were both bundled up and
the sun had warmed up the day enough for it not to be unbearable outside. I
rehashed what had happened with Shane the day before we left the Training
Compound. I felt ashamed of myself as the words were coming out, but I knew she
would know if I was holding back.

“Wow! That is definitely a
distraction.” I couldn’t tell if she was more amused or surprised at me. I
could tell there was a little bit of disappointment in her voice, which made me
feel absolutely terrible. There had been a few times over the years when she
had used a judgmental tone with me, mostly when I was feeling rebellious or not
doing things like she expected of me. I thought back to the way that Cyril had
looked at me, with no judgment in her eyes, only concern.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen
like that.” I said, almost defensively.

“Well, what did Adrian say?” I
looked away from her. “You didn’t tell him?”

“I’m going to, I just have to
find the right time. I didn’t want to ruin his weekend at home.”
            “So you’ll ruin his first week back at training?” That one stung. I
knew she was coming from a good place, but it still hurt. I decided to change
the subject to training. I didn’t think talking about it with her would be a
rule breaker. Things were awkward now though and after a few minutes she
mumbled something about needing to go home to help her dad. I didn’t argue with
her about it, it was almost a relief when she left.

That night, we all ate together
as a family again, even Ari. I tried to burn the picture of them, laughing,
talking, playfully arguing in my mind. I wanted to bring this with me. I wanted
to remember the fabric of what I was made of. I needed to remember in the
middle of the craziness of training that I was a person with a family, not a
perfect family, but one that surely had love in it. Dinner ended and we all
retired to our rooms. Dale came in for a brief moment to hug me and tell me he
wished I didn’t have to go back. I laid in bed, pushing away thoughts of the
next day and soaking up the calm of home until I finally drifted asleep.

The scene that played out in my
head that night started as it usually did. I was back in the woods, except it
was a warped version, the colors were off with a maroon sky and blue leaves on
the trees. I had come to the clearing where the crowd was gathered around,
except rather than hiding behind the bushes, I walked right into the ring where
the fighting was going on. No one seemed to notice me. I watched the boy, Lars,
circling the red headed girl. I saw the same fierceness in his eyes as that
day. The terror seized my whole body. I looked at the girl on the ground, but
rather than seeing a stranger, I recognized her. It was Cyril. Cyril with her
flaming locks of red hair, just like the girl’s, black and blue and defeated.
She opened her mouth and a blood curdling scream escaped, and then another. I
shot straight up in the bed, covered in a cold sweat and still feeling the
terror of that moment. Then, I heard it again, the blood curdling scream, but I
was awake, the scream wasn’t in my dream. Dale! I jumped out of bed so fast
that my vision went black for a moment, I stumbled backwards and regained full
sight. I ran to Dale’s room, which was the only other room on the upstairs
portion of the house. He wasn’t there. Panic grasped at my chest and I couldn’t
breathe, because lying in Dale’s bed was his PID. But there was no warning
beep. It was still functioning properly. What was happening?

“Dale! Dale!” I screamed out
and checked our bathroom. “Dale! Where are you?” I hurled myself down the
stairs so quickly that I almost fell down them. I heard something outside. I
fumbled to get the door open. What is wrong with me? I got it open and flew to
the front yard. I yelled out again, “Dale, answer me!” I looked down the street
and that’s when I saw him. It was unmistakable. I will never forget that face
because I saw it just moments ago in a terror-ridden dream. It was Lars, and he
was carrying Dale’s limp body away.

Lars did not see me, so I
remained silent. My next moves were purely instinctual and were bred of
desperation and fear. I had no plan. I had no clear thoughts. I had one
purpose: to retrieve my brother and murder Lars. I ran after them as quickly as
I could. I did not feel my body. I did not feel the cold under my bare feet
like I should have, or the sharp sting of pain that should come with the
pounding of running. My body was numb. I did not hear my PID when it gave the
warning beep that I had breached the perimeter of the yard. The last time I
could see straight, I saw Lars carrying Dale, running off into the night.  He
was far enough away that he did not hear my PID either, he likely never knew I
was out there. Then it went black.

The waves of electricity darted
through my body as I fell stiffly to the ground. I was grateful for the pain
that I felt, I wanted to feel something besides the ache that I had in my chest
that grew larger and larger. I wished that it would knock me unconscious, but
unmercifully I remained there in a state, unable to move, besides the gyrations
that that the electricity sent through my nerves, causing my limbs to twitch
uncontrollably.  I had only the thoughts racing through my mind to deal with. I
felt tears running down my face and onto the ground. Then I heard another beep.
Someone was here to get me. I felt my body being dragged back into the yard.
Ari got us both back in time before he suffered the same fate as I. He fell to
the ground sweating and out of breath.

“You had to have made it 15
feet past the sensors, Rai. What were you thinking!” Ari’s face looked angry,
but concerned. He didn’t know. He didn’t see Dale kidnapped. “If the jolt
hadn’t knocked you back, I wouldn’t have been able to get to you!” I tried to
answer him, but couldn’t move. I desperately wanted to go to the back yard to
run through my secret hole in the sensors to get to Dale. Why hadn’t I thought
of that? My body refused to cooperate with any request that I made of it. How
had Lars gotten here? “Alright, I’ll be right back ok, we’ll get you inside.”

Ari ran back to the house to
retrieve Mom and Dad, but they had already made it off the front porch to the
yard. Dad and Ari carried me inside and set me down on the couch. Mom told Ari
that I must have been sleep walking and for him to immediately go back to bed.
He didn’t ask questions, and almost seemed annoyed to have been woken up.

Mom waited until she was sure
that Ari had gone back to bed with the door closed, then motioned for Dad to
help her. They lifted me and brought me into the study. Mom reached behind the
desk and touched something again, like I remember her doing the day that I told
her about the girl’s murder in the woods.

Then she started talking in a
hushed voice, “Raily, I only have five minutes, so I need you to pay close
attention to what I’m about to say. We know Dale is gone.” She choked on the
sentence, but seemed determined to finish what she was telling me, “We checked
his room and found his PID. The day you came to me to tell me about the girl in
the woods, I knew more than I let on. We don’t have long to discuss it, though.
Everything we say can be heard and is recorded. I have a device that can
temporarily scramble that recording, but anything longer than five minutes will
tip them off. That’s why I asked you to never speak of it again, Raily. If they
knew that we knew, they would kill us all.”

“Ann Brutus and I did used to
work together. We were colleagues, but Ann was a leader of a group that was
anti-government known as the Defectors. It was a time when all the changes were
being made to our legal system and we were determined to hold on to our
freedom. Our following was small, but loyal. The power went to Ann’s head, and
she started to make decisions about our group that were on the side of the
extreme. We were having trouble upping our numbers and Ann started suggesting
involuntary ‘drafts.’ That’s when many of us left the Defectors, but not in a
very amicable way. Ann was furious. We would hear rumors of missing children.
If the families reported it, Ann would use her connections to make sure that
those families were ‘transferred’ and were never heard from again. Those of us
who tried to stand against it were threatened. People were scared to join us
for fear of their children being taken or worse.  No one can be trusted, the
Defectors has grown in number and power. The children that are taken are
trained as soldiers and grow up as loyal followers of the Defectors. Those that
are not...” She couldn’t finish the sentence.

“We would hear stories, but
hoped that they weren’t true, but the day you came to me, I knew things were
worse than I ever imagined. We have allies that are in different facets of
industry, but must be secretive and careful. We also have informants that keep
us up to date on their whereabouts. Raily, I know that you are scared, but your
father and I will try, no, we
will
get Dale back.” She broke at this and
the tears started falling from her cheeks to the floor, as they did mine.  My
father embraced us both. “There is... something else you need to know.” She
looked at Dad and he nodded to give her consent. “One of our allies and
informants is Ann’s husband, Jacob Brutus.” I remembered him from the
Advancement Ceremony. “We all worked together, Ann, Jacob, and I.  Jacob and
I... became close. Your father has forgiven me for the things of my past, and
I’m sorry that this is how you have to hear this, but Dale, could possibly be
Jacob’s son. This is why we think that Ann targeted Dale, as a form of
vengeance.”

My mind was spinning. I looked
to my father, but he just looked away. I could see the pain in his face,
though. I was starting to feel a tingling in my jaw and tongue, maybe I would
be able to speak soon. I had only had this sensation once before. I was never
one to learn just by having someone tell me something. I needed to experience
it. Ari and I had been playing outside when I was nine years old. He had
wandered to the backyard and I had finally gotten up the courage to step past
the perimeter, but only a foot past. It took several times before I had the
courage to stand there long enough to see what would happen.

My mother was the one to
discover me, and she did so rather quickly. I had only been shocked for about
three seconds when she pulled me back from the edge. I had wet my pants to add
insult to injury. It was just a reaction that I guess came with the shocks.
Thank goodness that hadn’t happened this time. I don’t think I would have
enough sense to change clothes right now. She had the grace not to scold me,
she knew I had learned my lesson. I couldn’t wrap my mind around all this new
information. Dale has been kidnapped by a ruthless murderer. That murderer’s
boss is my mentor. My mentor’s husband could be my little brother’s father. It
was all too much. My mother’s voice brought me back from my mental haze.

“I’m sorry, Raily. In three
minutes the police will be calling this house to make sure that you were not
trying to violate the law. I will tell them that you were sleep walking and are
just fine. You will corroborate this story. I know this is a lot to ask, but
this is our best chance at finding Dale. If we tell them, the more likely
scenario is that we’ll all be killed and Dale will be lost forever.” I just
stared at her. Even if I could talk I’m not sure what I would say anyway. The
feelings that I had were grief, and guilt, and anger, and fear. I was so angry
with her. This is all her fault, now Dale is gone. What will they do to him?
Will he be the next one in the ring to fight Lars? I couldn’t stand the idea of
my sweet little brother’s innocence being stripped away by these monsters. Rage
was taking over my mind, all I could think of was vengeance.

“Don’t tell Ari what happened.
You’ll both be leaving early enough in the morning to have missed saying
goodbye to Dale. Don’t tell anyone, Raily. We will figure out what to do.” So
what was I supposed to do? Walk around like nothing had happened? It would be
just like being in this temporary state of paralysis, unable to express
anything I really feel.  “You still won’t be able to respond to the police, but
they’ll be able to see your face. Try your best to look sleepy and embarrassed.
You have to be convincing. When they took Dale, they left his PID with a chip
attached to make it look like he was still functioning with it. They more than
likely won’t ask to see everyone in the house.” She sounded as if she didn’t
quite believe that herself, but that’s what she had to work with at the moment.
I could see the panic settle across her face as the shock wore off and reality
set in. She looked me in the eye, “I’m sorry I’m asking this of you, but you
and I both have to get ourselves together. We will speak with the police as if
this is just another night. We will pull through this, and I promise you,
Raily, they will pay.”

She pushed the button again
after checking the time. We sat there, huddled together. I couldn’t move but
both of my parents held me like I was a child, and I was grateful. We stayed
there, completely silent until we heard the summon from the screen by the front
door from the police. My mother went alone to answer it. She pressed the button
and two officers appeared. “Hello, officers.”

“Good evening, mam. In
accordance with the law, we are required to verify the presence of Raily Stone,
citizen number 376742054Z, and we must take a statement as to why she has
violated the location awareness ordinance.”

“Of course. She is still in a
paralysis, but my husband and I will carry her here.” Mom came to retrieve me
and gave me a weak smile and a look that was begging me to do as she asked. She
quickly wiped the wetness off of my face from my tears with her sleeve. They
brought me to the chair in front of the screen. The tingling had spread down my
neck and I was now able to move my head slightly.  “Our daughter has been a
sleep walker for years, especially under times of stress. She has horrible
nightmares and tonight was a combination of the two. You see, officers, she is
on a weekend home from training.”

The officer in the front looked
at me and asked if I could nod or blink. I nodded my head slightly and gave
three fast consecutive blinks. The two officers looked just as excited to be
awake at this hour as Ari had. “Ms. Raily Stone, can you confirm that tonight
you were indeed sleepwalking and that your violation was by mistake?” I gave
him another weak nod. “Do you understand that your violation will be kept on
record for the remainder of your life, but will not count as a strike against
you?” Another nod and blink.

The officer then returned to my
mother, “My son is home this weekend from training as well.” He cleared his
throat, “I can confirm by our location awareness system that all members of
your household are presently there and not violating any other ordinances.” He
rattled off some more legal jargon that I was just trying to get through and
then bid us good night.

“Thank you, officers.” My mother
turned off the call and turned to us with a big sigh. “Well, with all this
excitement, I think we could all use a good night’s sleep, what we can make of
it, that is.” They carried me to my room in my bed and tried to make me as
comfortable as can be. I was already starting to loosen up, and I figured I
would have full use of my faculties soon. I lay alone in the dark, sobbing, my
entire body tingling while it was regaining feeling and function. I’d never
felt more alone. I wished that Oren were there so he could knock me senseless,
just so I could escape this feeling of dread. My emotions ran the gamut from
devastation to fear to pure, unadulterated rage. I was tempted as soon as I
realized I could stand without falling to run into the woods, to look for Dale
where I had seen the girl murdered. I couldn’t stand the impotence of doing
nothing, saying nothing.

I got up and went to the
bathroom. I threw up in the toilet immediately. I felt light headed when I
stood back up and then threw up again. I looked in the mirror and saw a ghost.
The color was drained from my face and my eyes looked like that of a crazed
animal.  I had to get control of myself or my PID was going to register
something weird about my health. I closed my eyes and saw the vision of Dale’s
lifeless body being stolen away. Then a thought ran across my mind that I had
been avoiding all night: Dale could be dead. 

No. Dale is not dead. I
wouldn’t allow it.