Rippled (6 page)

“I know how I could control you, yes, but I want to use it for something else.” I paused and almost leaned in to kiss her when her expression went from one of concern to disappointment. “If we can get you off these drugs, maybe I can control your shifts.”

“How would that work?”

“Verbal commands mostly.”

“Like a dog,” she said with disgust.

“No, like a sub.”

“A sub?”

“Submissive. If you give me permission to have control over you, we can work on controlling your shifts. For example, I could tell you when you could or couldn’t shift. We’d start working on it while you’re still on the drugs, and then slowly wean you off of them.”

“And if you can’t control them…if you can’t control me?”

“We’ll try something else, but I’d rather have you alert and able to remember than to keep you drugged and not take the risk. Besides, if I can’t control your shifts, what’s the worst thing you could do?”

“Kill you?”

“You forget, I can shift as well. I’ll be fine, but this is something I’d like to try.”

“Have you done this before? The sub thing, I mean?”

“Being a Dom?” I tried to ignore how weak my voice sounded just then. Vulnerable. I was so used to going to clubs to find a sub…one who knew she was a sub. I’d never approached an inexperienced one before, and trying to explain it in shifting terms didn’t make it any easier. “A few times.”

“What happened?”

“To my subs?” I shrugged. “Same with most relationships—we either fell apart or parted ways on equal footing. Some may even leave a Dom because they're unhappy, but that wasn’t the case with me.”

“Then what was it?”

“I couldn’t give them what they wanted. A few of my past subs wanted me to do things to them I wasn’t personally comfortable with. So, instead of keeping them and leading them on, we parted ways, but before we did, I almost always referred them to another Dom, if only to practice what they were looking to do.”

“Sounds confusing.”

“It can be at first, but it all comes down to what both parties want from the relationship.”

“And you know this in the beginning?”

I nodded. “Pretty much. The relationship between a Dom and his subs is different from what most couples experience. For example, before I start a relationship with anyone—when I intend on being their Dom—there are a few things we discuss.”

“Like?”

“Safe words are usually the first thing that comes to mind.”

“Safe words?”

“Just as the name implies. They’re words a sub can use to keep themselves safe. Let’s say I’m playing with a new sub and do something she didn’t like. Perhaps it scared her or made her uncomfortable. She would use a safe word and we’d either stop, change positions or save it for another day.”

“Sounds like something every relationship should have.”

I caught a twinge of annoyance in her voice but didn’t press her. She might not have been able to remember much, but her body language and voice certainly did. She stiffened, and I waited for the moment to pass before I continued.

“The other thing I do as a Dom is go over rules—things a sub doesn’t want to do at all. Under no circumstances.”

“To keep her safe?”

“To keep everyone safe. These rules are set in place to keep from triggering fears, panic attacks or even flashbacks for those who have come from a bad past.” I paused and watched her expression, but it was the same. Whatever had caused her to stiffen before was gone. “I had a sub once who had food items down as her hard rule. She wanted nothing to do with them. Sexually, that is. No whipped cream. No chocolate syrup. Nothing. And then there was another who had shaving at the top of her list of hard limits.”

“You not shaving, or her?”

“Both actually. That said, I made an exception for her so she’d feel comfortable around me.”

“And did she ever let you?”

“Let me what? Shave her?” I shook my head. “She never offered, and I never asked. Like I said, whatever goes on that list is to keep everyone safe. Now, if there comes a time when a sub wants to try something on that list, I’m willing to give it a go, but at my pace, which for some is very, very slow. If at any time I feel they’re reacting in a negative way, I stop. No questions asked. No restarts.”

“Why would a sub ask to try something on their list if they aren’t comfortable with it yet?”

“To impress her Dom. Some even do it to try and please him, which is wrong. A good Dom will never judge or abandon his subs for not wanting to try something that’s on that list. Like any relationship, there are boundaries we mustn’t cross, most of which are discussed right from the start.”

“And the ones that aren’t?”

“The boundaries a sub isn’t aware of herself are usually discovered during her training. Think of training as dating. A Dom may have the sub do something she’s never done, so she won’t know what her reaction will be. But if it turns out it’s something that triggers her, it goes on the list as well. At least until the Dom feels she’s ready to try it again.”

“And how would this work for shifting again if I can’t shift?”

“We’ll start small. For example…” I took her hands in mine and guided her away from the bed. “Kneel.” I let her arms drop to her sides. It probably wasn’t the best first command to give, but it was a start. She gave me a questioning look, and just when she was about to open her mouth, I said, “No talking. No questions. All I want you to do is react. If I am making you uncomfortable, you can say yellow to slow down, and red to stop. Understood?”

She nodded and quickly dropped to her knees. Her eyes were on the ground, on my feet. I took my hand and lifted her chin so I could look at her. Big mistake. She wasn’t my sub.
Not yet.
I had no right to be doing any of this to her.

She hasn’t used a safe word.

It didn’t matter. She was new. I had to get her up off the floor before I lost myself completely.

“Stand up.”

Again, she did as I had asked, only this time with a little less hesitation.

“Think of it as Simon Says without my actually saying Simon Says,” I explained when she cocked an eyebrow at me.

“Like the kid’s game?” She covered her lips just as she finished speaking and lowered her eyes in a silent apology.

“You can talk now. Sorry about that. It was the Dom side getting the better of me.”

“So there are three of you then.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, there’s you…the you I kissed the other night.” She bowed her head, likely to hide her flushed face. “The leopard you turn into.” She smirked. “And then there’s this… Dom, is it?”

I nodded and set her back down on the bed before sitting beside her. “Yup, sounds about right.”

She turned to face me. “Which one am I looking at now? The Dom or the one I kissed the other night?”

I gave her question some thought, then said, “The one from the other night.”

“Oh, good.” She set her hands in her lap. “I like that one a lot.”

Now it was my turn to smirk. “Do you, now?” I brushed a few stray hairs from in front of her face until I could look right into her eyes, unblinking. Her cheeks darkened as she averted her gaze.

You said you wanted her—why not now?

It would be wrong of me to—

All thought was lost when she reached out to play with my belt buckle. I swallowed and placed both hands on her wrists, stopping her.

“We don’t have to—”

“I want to,” she said before I finished. “I’ve wanted to ever since that kiss. Ever since the first night we held hands. I…” She shook her head, clearly frustrated with her words. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just… I need this. Just for tonight.”

I placed her hands in her lap. “I don’t work like that. Not with you.”

Are you listening to yourself? Take one night!

Hell, I’d probably take just one hour and still be happy about it. “It’s not who I am.”

Not who you want to be.

“Two nights then.” She laughed, and I smiled.

“One day at a time?”

She nodded. If I was able to gain her trust just from one night, maybe then it'd be easier to work on controlling her shifts.

“Does that mean I’m your sub then?” she asked.

I shook my head and brushed her cheek. “No. You’re my equal.” After a long, suffocating moment, I set her hands back on my belt. “As you were.”

With the room being as electrically charged as it was, it was a wonder we didn’t burst into flames. A long moment passed, and when Krista’s hands didn’t move, I moved them for her.

Together, we traced the buckle of my belt, the golden paint smooth under our fingertips. She shifted her weight, sat with her knees beneath her, kneeling but not kneeling as she fought with the thick strap of leather.

I brushed her cheek. Drew arcs with my thumb under her eye. Every breath, every move we made, was a test.
Are we going too fast? Is this okay? Am I hurting you
? And with every moment that passed, she didn’t pull away. Determined as she was, she slowly pushed forward.

I exhaled when the hiss of leather rang in my ears. Her digits moved to the button on my jeans, having a little less trouble with it than with my belt. Her hands shook when she tried to pull down the zipper.

I took her hands in mine. “Are you sure?”

She licked her lips—nodded. I let her go and placed one hand against the nape of her neck. I leaned in and pulled her closer. Our lips barely touched. Her fingers stopped moving, and she set a hand behind my head and played with the curls she found there.

I closed my eyes and slowly coaxed her lips to part. Our bodies drew closer together, and somewhere outside my subconscious I could feel my pants going slack as she loosened them for me. It took everything I had not to get rid of all our clothes so I could touch her warm skin. Taste it. Taste
her.

Oblivious to the rest of the world, I unbuttoned her blouse, smooth peaks greeting me once the fabric was removed. I broke our kiss just long enough to lick at her jaw. Krista let out an exasperated sigh when my shirt didn’t come off fast enough—when she couldn’t get my pants past my hips.

“Want some help with that?” I asked, trying not to smile at her frustration.

“Please.” She sat back, but only long enough for me to remove my pants.

As soon as they were out of the way, she closed in. It was almost as if she had suddenly remembered how everything worked. She had delicate hands—hands that could make any man fall to his knees if used correctly. And damn if she didn’t know what she was doing.
Just like riding a bike.
Memory or not, her body took all the right steps, or at least the steps I allowed it to take.

I took a deep breath when she wrapped her fingers around my cock. Stroking it. Teasing it. I wanted nothing more than to remove my boxers, but she was latched on, and I knew she wasn’t ready to let go.

Obviously too focused on what she was doing to notice me working on her skirt, she shuddered when my fingers grazed her clit. Even with her panties acting as a barrier, I could tell she was wet. So. Fucking. Wet. Her hands stopped moving, and I took the little opening I had.

After shimmying out of my boxers, I lowered her onto her back as I worked on the clip to her skirt. She looked at me with wide eyes as her hands searched for a place to land. I guided them behind my neck, and that was where they stayed.

“Are you okay?” I asked, tossing her skirt to the floor. She swallowed and nodded. “Are you sure?” Another nod. “Are we going too fast?”

She shook her head. “Too slow.”

I made a sound of approval. Even if she wasn’t my sub, I could still play with her mind. The question was, could I keep myself in control long enough to do so?
Not likely.
Head games would have to wait for another day. But not now. Now when her body was so close. Exposed and willing.

Krista wiggled out of her remaining clothes with my help, and, as I held my arm under her back, she arched it as far as she could go. I knew what she wanted—what she needed—but I took my time.

Just a little while longer.

I drew tight circles around her clit and pressed a finger inside her pussy lips when she thrust up at me. I groaned as she took it in, her body closing around it like a glove. She tensed, then relaxed, and I withdrew my finger only to add a second one to it.

Again, I played with her clit. She moaned and turned her head from one side to the other. My cock twitched, and I stroked it with the fingers that had just been inside her.

She bent her knees. Widened her stance. Presented herself to me.
Fuck.
It was all going too fast, and like two trains colliding at one hundred miles an hour, there was no way to stop it. No way to slow it down.

I leaned over the side of the bed and fished for my pants. Lucky for me, I still had one condom left in my wallet. I tore the foil with my teeth and rolled it on before moving between her knees. I tried to decide if I wanted to taste her first or keep my sanity by fucking her. We were both so new. Charged. Holding back wasn’t an option.

She looked up at me, her eyes pleading with mine. “Don’t make me wait.”

Either out of pure desperation or from what I’d told her earlier, her words were a kick in the gut. They barely escaped her lips, but the urgency I felt at them was enough to drive me past making a decision to reacting. Taste-testing would have to wait. I had to have her. Right. Now.

I could’ve had her any way I wanted. I could’ve asked her to kneel. Had her lean over the edge of the bed. Made her stand up. But I couldn’t wait.
Here is just fine.
It was better than fine. The fact that she was so willing, so submissive…I would’ve taken her anywhere.

She isn’t your sub.

Tell that to the rest of her body
!

Using my free hand, I guided myself to her. She arched her back again and held it there. I pressed against her pussy, and we both exhaled at the same time as I carefully thrust into her, one aching inch at a time.

For a moment, neither one of us moved. We didn’t breathe. And as her body adjusted around my cock, I slowly withdrew then thrust in again. I leaned in to kiss her, breathing her in each time she gasped. She tangled her fingers in my hair. Pulled at me. Lifted her hips.