Authors: Robert J. Conley
“You're right, of course,” he said. “You want to ride right now?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Just let me go strap on my guns,” he said.
Me and Sly rid out to Chugwater's ranch, and we rid all over that son of a bitch never seeing no sign a' the bastard we was after. Then we rid to my place, and I showed him where Chugwater
had cut my fence and where he had driv my herd. I told him how we had brung it back to where it belonged.
“Barjack,” Sly said, “the problem is we don't have any idea where he might be hiding, or where he might strike next. I'd maybe say we ought to go back to town and watch out for the jail. That's where his brother is, and his brother's time is running out.”
“That's right,” I said. “The ole judge could be here any day now, and I reckon that ole Chugwater knows that as well as we do.”
“You have Mose Miller and Polly out here at the ranch along with Butcher. They should be able to handle Chugwater if he shows up. Why don't you and I go back to town and watch the jail?”
“Okay, Sly. I can't argue with none a' that. Let's go.”
Well, hadn't nothing happened in town, and Happy was a-setting in my chair behint my desk with his damn feet propped up on the desktop a-leaning back and asleep. Owl Shit was a-laying on the cot in the cell. He looked to be asleep too. I walked over to my chair where Happy was a-snoozing, and I put one a' my feet behint one a' the back legs a' the chair. The two front legs was up in the air, and I kinda shoved that back leg forward. Well, the chair turned over backwards with Happy in it, and he hit the foor with a crash. Soon as he come awake, I yelled at him. “Wake up, Happy. The world is coming to a end.”
He come a-scrambling to his feet with his eyes kinda glazed, and he said, “What? Where? Where we going?”
“We ain't going nowhere,” I said, “but I reckon you're going home to get some shut-eye.”
“I'm all right, Barjack,” he said. “I ain't seen hide nor hair of ole Chugwater.”
“I don't reckon you have,” I said. “I don't reckon you've seed much of anything setting there asleep like that.”
“Oh, I ain't been asleep. I just dropped off for a minute there. I'm all right.”
“I reckon you need to get some sleep,” I said, “so go on and do like I tole you to do. I'll stick around here for a spell.”
“Well, all right, if you say so.”
He went and got his hat off a' the rack and went out the front door. Looking back just before he shut the door behint him, he said, “I'll be back in a little while, Barjack.”
Then he went on. I looked at Sly. “There ain't no need for you to hang around here,” I tole him. “I can watch the place awhile, I reckon.”
“Well,” he said, “I guess I'll go see how Lillian is doing. I'll check back with you, though.”
He left, so it was just me and ole Owl Shit in the cell. I tuck out my bottle and a tumbler and poured me a full drink. I was just a-setting there and enjoying that good whiskey when I seen Owl Shit kinda stir and then set up. I poured another glass full and tuck it over to him. I guess on account a' I didn't have no other company in there just at that time. He tuck that glass real greedy-like and shaking, and he said, “Thanks, Barjack.”
“There ain't nothing like a good glass a' whiskey,” I said.
“No, sir,” he said. “There ain't.”
Well, I dragged a chair over there beside a' the bars, and I set down in it right close to Owl Shit. “Barjack,” Owl Shit said, “do you think they're really going to hang me?”
“My guess is that they will, for sure,” I tole him. “You know, I seen you shoot that man in cold blood
right there in my own saloon, my Hooch House. You never give him a chance or nothing. And I'm bound to give my testimony and to tell it just the way I seen it. There ain't nothing more for it.”
“I reckon not,” he said, “you being the town marshal and all.”
“That's the way of it. Say, Owl Shit, how come you to do people thattaway, to just shoot a man down for nothing like that? What is it that's in you that makes you that mean?”
“I don't know,” he said. “I ain't really mean, I don't think.”
He drained the rest a' the whiskey outta his glass and stood there looking kinda like a whipped dog. I drained my glass and went after my bottle. When I come back I poured us each one another drink. He tuck a sip.
“People always used to whip up on me when I was a kid,” he said, “up until the time I went to carrying my own six-gun, and then one day a big ole boy started in to whip me again, and I shot him. It felt good. It was easy. Each time after that it got easier, you know? Then the next thing I knowed, I didn't even need no excuse. I just shot them if I felt a need to. It made me feel good. That's all.”
“How come you to get that name, Owl Shit?” I ast him.
He kinda let his head drop like as if he was a little embarrassed or even ashamed.
“I come home one day whenever I was just a little snot,” he said, “and I had stepped in some fresh owl shit out by the barn. I didn't get my
shoe cleaned off very good, and my papa smelt it. âPhew,' he said. âWhat's that?' He looked down at my shoe. âOh,' I said, âI just stepped in some fresh owl shit, is all.' Well, from that day, he went to calling me Owl Shit, and ever'one else just kinda picked up on it. I never thought nothing of it, I guess. I was just a little feller.”
“I'll be damned,” I said. “So it were your own daddy what named you that.”
“Yes, sir,” he said.
We set there drinking and talking like that till we was both of us pretty damn drunk. After a while, Owl Shit said, “Barjack?”
“What is it?” I said.
“I stepped on that owl shit a purpose. I ain't never tole no one this, but I seen it on the ground, and I just wondered was it soft and would it squish, you know? Like I said, I was just a little snot. So I stepped on it. Sort of to see would it squash?” He paused a bit. Then he said, “It did.”
I laughed at that, and he went to laughing too. I poured us another drink. I looked at my bottle, and it were getting kinda low. “Owl Shit,” I said, “it looks as how I'm a-going to have to get us another bottle here pretty damn soon.” He just nodded his head real slow. “I wish to hell you hadn'ta shot that ole boy right in front a' my eyeballs thattaway,” I said. “You know, once you shoot someone thattaway, there ain't no way to un-shoot them. You've done done it, and you're into it then. That's all there is to it, and there ain't nothing can be done about it no more.”
“I guess you're right about that.”
I drained my glass again, and I went to pour me another drink, but I seen that I woulda tuck the rest a' the booze outta that bottle. I looked over at Owl Shit's glass, and it was empty too. I thunk a minute, and it come into my head that Owl Shit weren't going to live too much longer. I poured the whiskey into his glass and dropped the empty bottle on the floor. I don't know what come into me to make me so generous like that. I felt a little bit foolish for it too. “I got to get us another bottle,” I said, but when I went to stand up, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't make my damned ole legs raise me up outta that chair. I got my ass about halfway up and I strained like hell, but then I fell back down kerplop onto the chair.
“Damn,” I said.
I studied on the situation for a spell, and then I tuck a holt a' two a' the cell bars what was right there beside a' me, and I tried again, a-pulling myself with the bars, and I managed to get up onto my feet. I stood there for a minute or so just a-getting used to the altitude. My head were spinning. Final I felt kinda steadied up, and I turned toward the door, but the turning had upset something, so I had to stand still again for a bit. Final I decided that I could walk, and I tuck a step with my left foot, but I never went forward. Instead, I kinda lurched sideways and bounced off a' the bars. I steadied myself again and stepped off again, but this time I went way out toward the middle a' the room. Now I didn't have nothing to fall against if I was to fall.
I just stood there with my legs splayed way out,
a-knowing that if I was to try to step off again, I would land flat on my face on that hard floor. I knowed that I had to figger something out pretty damn soon. I thunk that if I was to take another lurching step, this time toward the wall, I could maybe catch myself against the wall and then walk along it back to the bars and back to my chair what was setting over there. Just then the door kinda blowed open and Bonnie come a-swishing into the room. I could smell her perfume soon as she stepped in.
“Barjack,” she said.
“Bonnie,” I said, “sweet tits, get me to a chair fast.”
She rushed over to me and grabbed me and walked me over behint my desk and dropped me in my comfortable chair back there. “What's wrong?” she said.
“Oh,” I said, “nothing much. Me and ole Owl Shit was just a-drinking, and we run outta whiskey. Did you bring a bottle with you?”
“No,” she said. “I never.”
“Wellâ”
“I can go get you one,” she said. “Are you all right? I'll be right back.”
“Bring two while you're at it,” I said.
She said, “Okay,” as she was a-hurrying out the door. I set in my big chair behint my desk, and my head was still a-spinning. I sure did want another drink, and I was pretty sure that Owl Shit did too. I looked over at him, and he had just finished off his. I looked around for my tumbler, and final I
seen it a-tumbling around on the floor over by the cell.
“Barjack,” Owl Shit said, “are you for sure all right?”
“I'll be just fine, pard,” I tole him, “whenever ole Bonnie gets back here with my whiskey.”
It weren't long before she come back with two bottles, and while she were a-picking up my tumbler for me I opened up one bottle. I poured me a drink and tuck a big slug of it, and by God, I was right. I were some better as soon as I done that. I got my ass up and went back over to my chair by the jail cell, and I poured ole Owl Shit another drink.
“Barjack,” said Bonnie, kinda snappy like, “what are you doing?”
“I'm just setting over here getting drunk with ole Owl Shit,” I said.
“Ain't you got no work you'd ought to be a-doing?”
“I'm a-doing it,” I said. “I'm watching the jail. I sent Happy home to get him some sleep.”
“Well, I sure have been missing you over at the Hooch House.”
“Set your ass down here and have a drink with us,” I said.
She went over to my desk drawer and got herself a tumbler. Then she dragged a chair over beside me, and I poured her a drink. She kinda sipped at it and that were all right. I knowed if she drank too much a' my whiskey too fast, she'd be drunk on her fat ass right quicklike. She were used
to them sissy pink things what Aubrey mixed up for her. But she weren't above sipping my whiskey if that was all what we had. At first Bonnie was a little bit kinda setting back from the conversation and all. It were clear to me that she did not approve a' my drinking like that with ole Owl Shit. After all, he was a killer, a murderer. I had arrested him and throwed his ass in jail. And we'd had all a' that killing on account a' him. It was his own brother what was giving us all a' this trouble. So Bonnie somehow did not approve a' me a-drinking with him.
She had her own self set her ass down to drink with us, but she had me betwixt her and Owl Shit, and she weren't talking neither. She were just kinda sipping her whiskey with a real hard and stubborn look on her fat face. Ever now and then I would say something to Owl Shit and then I'd look over at Bonnie and say, “Now, ain't that right, sweetness?” She wouldn't say nothing. I got a little fed up with all a' that cold shoulder, and I reached over and put my left arm around her and hugged her over to me and kissed her on the side a' her chubby face.
“Don't, Barjack,” she said, and she shoved me away real hard until I was knocked plumb against the cell bars. Well, hell, at least I had got her to talk. By and by Happy come back in, and he did look like he was awake by then.
“Happy,” I said, “are you ready to take back over?”
“Yes, sir, I am.”
“Good, 'cause I'm just about ready to pass on out.”
Owl Shit stood up and tuck a staggering couple a' steps toward the cot. “Me too,” he said, and he fell down on the cell floor. He looked comfy enough, so I decided to just let him lay there. I don't much know what happened after that. I recall trying to stand up again, and Bonnie a-helping me, but the next thing I know, I was a-waking up, and I was on the cot a' that other cell. Bonnie was a-setting in a chair she had put just beside the cot. I reckon she had set there all night. She were a loving thing, she were. I could tell pretty soon by the noises and such that Happy or someone was a-making some coffee in the main room. I was sure enough glad a' that. I set up with a moan and Bonnie come awake.
“Barjack,” she said.
“I'm just fine,” I said. “Soon as that coffee's did out there, I'll be great.”
“It won't be long, Barjack,” said Happy, calling out from the other room.
“Goddamn,” I said, “are you spying on me out there?”
Happy poked his face into the cell. “No, sir, I could just hear you whenever you talked, is all. I wasn't spying.”
I stood up and were just a little bit wobbly. I wouldn't say that I had a hangover. I never had no hurting head nor nothing like that. I think that maybe I were still just a little bit drunk from the night before. Anyhow, I stood there a minute
a-getting my bearings, and then I walked on out into the main room. Happy was a-sweeping the floor. I didn't like the dust in the air none, so I said, “Happy, that's enough a' that.” He put the broom in a corner a' the room. I went on behint my desk to set down, and I seen that Owl Shit was still a-laying in the floor. He didn't look to me like he had stirred one little bit all night long.