‘You all right, mate?’ asked Lily, running over to him. And when he looked up: ‘You!’ she cried in surprise.
Tom McCann picked up his cap and brushed the dirt from his clothes. He grinned at Lily. ‘Who were you expecting, the Archangel Gabriel?’
Amy looked down at the still figure. ‘You haven’t done for him, have you?’
Shaking his head Tom said, ‘No, he’s just knocked out, but you’d better scarper before he wakes up. Come on, I’ll walk you home.’
‘Amy’s coming to my place, just up the road.’
‘I know where it is, Lily. I’ve been there before, if you remember.’
Lily didn’t want to remember. Fred’s death was still too raw; she couldn’t cope with her guilt. ‘How did you happen to come along this way?’ she asked.
‘I popped in to see Declan,’ explained Tom. ‘He told me of the bit of trouble in the pub and that you two had left together, so I thought I’d better see if you got home safely.’
‘Thanks, Tom,’ said Amy, still shaken by the experience. ‘I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up.’
There was bitterness in Tom’s voice as he said, ‘Best not dwell on what might have been in this life. It can destroy you.’
They arrived at the door. Lily put her key in the lock, ushered Amy inside and turning to Tom said, ‘Thanks. I don’t know what else to say.’
‘You could invite me in,’ he said without hesitation, looking at her with an intensity that seared her soul.
Shaking her head, Lily said, ‘No, Tom, I don’t think so. But again, thanks. Take care going home. Your wife will be worried about you out in this.’ She walked into the house and closed the door.
She took a half-bottle of gin out of the cupboard and poured two stiff measures. Handing one to her friend she said, ‘Here. This will calm your nerves.’
Amy, hands still shaking from the ordeal, took the glass. ‘Christ, Lily, I thought we’d had it tonight.’
Nodding, Lily said, ‘So did I.’ She put her hand to her throat and touched the dried blood on her neck.
Seeing her gesture, Amy said, ‘Oh my God! He cut you. Let me see.’ After inspecting Lily’s neck she went into the scullery and came back with a damp cloth and washed the blood away. ‘You were lucky, my girl. It’s only a scratch. Thank goodness Tom came along.’ Without looking at Lily, she added, ‘He still loves you, you know.’
‘Bloody lot of good that is. He’s married and his wife’s pregnant!’
‘Oh Lily, why does life have to be so complicated?’ Amy sat back in the chair and lit a cigarette. ‘I tell you, if I could meet a decent man with a bit of money, I’d take him. Get off the streets.’
Lily immediately thought of Vittorio. She had a chance with a rich man. Why did she keep turning him down? she wondered. She could live in the lap of luxury. Have nice clothes, be spoilt. And she wouldn’t have to come home to an empty house every night.
If Tom was free it would be different. But the loneliness was crucifying her and she didn’t know how much longer she could stand it.
Christmas had come and gone. Lily had spent Christmas Day at The Sailor’s Return, with Sandy, Declan and his wife. The pub had closed after the lunch-time session, which had been a pretty boozy affair. Lily remembered the Christmas turkey and Christmas pudding, but not too much after that. This way she shut out the memories of the previous year’s festival and Fred. This year she couldn’t face going to midnight mass.
She was barely making enough money to survive. January and February were notoriously bad months. People who had any money were suffering after the Christmas spending. The ships were in dry dock for their winter overhaul, so the pubs were quieter. Money was tight.
Lily was depressed, wondering where her life was going. Amy was her only consolation. That day, she arrived bearing bad news.
‘Rachel is in hospital.’
‘What happened?’ asked Lily.
‘She’s got pneumonia.’
Lily was shaken. ‘Where is she?’
‘At the South Hants Hospital. I only heard today. Old man Abraham told me.’
‘I’m going to see her,’ said Lily.
‘Let me know how she is,’ said Amy, ‘and tell her I’ll be in tomorrow.’
Sitting in the tram on the way to the South Hants Hospital at visiting time, Lily’s thoughts were full of her days in The Ditches. Of the time Rachel discovered she’d been sleeping rough and took her in. Of the warmth and unspoken love she’d received from the elderly Jewess.
As she walked through the stark hospital corridors, which smelled of ether, Lily was filled with foreboding. ‘Please God let her be all right,’ she prayed beneath her breath.
The ward sister showed her to the bed. ‘Don’t stay too long, dear. She gets tired quickly.’
Quietly pulling up a chair, Lily sat beside the bed and looked at the sleeping figure. Tears welled in her eyes when she studied the pale hollowed face of Rachel Cohen.
Catching hold of the older woman’s hand, she whispered, ‘Hello, Rachel. It’s me, Lily.’
For a moment there was no response, then the eyelids fluttered open. ‘Lily, is that you?’
Patting her friend’s hand she answered, ‘Do you think they could keep me away?’ She leaned forward and kissed her cheek. ‘I don’t know, I can’t leave you alone for five minutes.’
The patient smiled. ‘I am so much trouble.’
Lily smoothed her forehead. ‘What can I do for you, darling?’
‘Just sit with me, my dear. Let me look at your pretty face. Hold your hand.’
She did so, for the rest of the afternoon.
Rachel dozed off and on, but every time she opened her eyes and saw Lily, she would clasp her hand tighter and smile. Once she softly said, ‘I loved you like my own daughter.’
‘And you were a better mother to me than my own. You are my Yiddisher momma and I love you very much.’
When Rachel was sleeping peacefully, Lily went to the Matron. ‘Can you tell me, is Mrs Cohen going to get better?’
The Matron smiled but asked, ‘Are you a relative?’
‘I’m her adopted daughter.’
‘Sit down, my dear. Your mother had influenza and she wasn’t taking proper care of herself, thus it developed into pneumonia. But she’s a tough old woman. With rest and proper care, she’ll get back to normal.’
‘I see. She’s not going to die, is she?’
Lily looked so stricken the Matron put a hand on her arm. ‘I wouldn’t think so for one moment.’
Sitting once again by the bed, Lily looked around the ward. It was clean but there was little comfort, with the rows of iron bedsteads and a strong smell of disinfectant. Tomorrow, she’d bring some flowers and perhaps a bright cover for the bed. Try and make it look a bit more homely.
For the next three weeks, Lily visited Rachel every day and was relieved that, indeed, her condition did improve.
Today, she was sitting up against the pillows looking quite chirpy when Lily arrived.
‘Hello, Lily dear. Am I not a miracle? The Rabbi says that God doesn’t want me yet.’
‘He’s been to see you?’
‘Of course.’
‘And what about Manny? He’s not been. At least, I’ve not seen him.’ Lily hadn’t questioned Rachel about her son until today.
The old spark was back. ‘Why should he? He doesn’t know. I have no son, so how can he be told? When I’m dead will be soon enough. Then …’ She shrugged. ‘Why should I care? Come and give a hug to a foolish old Jewish woman.’
She sat chewing on the grapes Lily had brought with her. Putting another in her mouth Rachel gave a mischievous smile. ‘Good for the bowels.’
They both giggled.
‘Soon I can leave here,’ she announced suddenly.
‘You can’t live on your own. You need someone to care for you.’
Patting Lily’s hand Rachel said, ‘Don’t have a panic. I’m going to stay in a nice recovery home until I’m really well. If they are any good, maybe I’ll stay there.’
‘Where?’ asked Lily with some concern.
‘There’s one in The Avenue. It’s Jewish, so the food will be kosher. It’s full of posh people so, who knows, maybe I’ll open a stall.’
‘Rachel!’ Lily was appalled.
With a wicked cackle she said, ‘Don’t be silly, my dear. I’m joking. What do you think I’m going to do? Arrive with suitcases full of second-hand clothes? Maybe I’ll meet a nice Jewish man there. I reckon I’ve got a few miles left in me yet.’
Lily gave a sigh of relief. But then with a frown she asked, ‘What about the shop in The Ditches? It’s been closed for weeks.’
‘It’s all right, I’ve got a few bob put by. This time of year, business ain’t so good. Think of the money I’m saving on lighting and heating.’
‘What heating?’ Lily demanded.
‘I’ve got a small electric fire.’
‘You never used it when I worked for you.’
Rachel gave a sly grin. ‘Why would you want it? Haven’t you got young blood racing round your veins?’
‘I don’t know about racing. There were times I was sure it was frozen solid.’
‘Rubbish.’ Rachel’s eyes twinkled with amusement. ‘How do you think I saved my few bob – by keeping you warm? Besides, you moved quicker when you were cold.’
‘You wicked old woman.’
Rachel clasped her chest dramatically. ‘That’s no way to speak to a sick woman. What a girl. I could be dying here in my hospital bed.’
Lily’s laughter echoed around the ward, bringing a shush and a frown from the Matron.
Nodding in her direction, Rachel whispered sagely, ‘She don’t know that laughter is as good a cure as an enema.’
Lily knew then that her beloved friend was getting better.
Putting her hand over Lily’s, Rachel asked, ‘And you, my dear? How are things with you?’
‘Not so good.’ Lily admitted reluctantly. ‘Money is scarce.’ She paused. ‘There is a way round it if I want to take it.’
Rachel’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like what you’re going to say?’
‘I’m thinking of working for The Maltese. Singing in his club.’
‘You don’t have the clothes for it,’ snapped Rachel.
‘He’ll buy them for me. He’s going to pay me a good wage, so I’ll be making money. He’s the only one doing any business at the moment.’
Rachel’s gaze held Lily’s. ‘And what price do you have to pay for the privilege?’
Lily felt the flush of embarrassment in her cheeks.
‘Well?’
‘I will be his mistress.’ Her face felt warm but the blood in her veins ran cold as she looked at her friend, waiting for her reaction.
Rachel’s voice remained calm. ‘And why are you doing this, Lily? Tell me, because I really want to understand. Don’t bullshit me. I want the truth.’
The flush of Lily’s cheeks had faded. Her face was white and pinched. ‘I can’t go on alone, struggling. I need someone to take care of me for a change. It’s not the clothes and jewellery he promised me, or the good life, although that would be a nice change. I need someone to lean on. To comfort me. To care about me. Can you understand?’
With a shrug Rachel said, ‘You think an old Jewish woman doesn’t want the same things? Sure, I understand. But with Vittorio Teglia?
Oy vey!
That I don’t want … Anyway, I should be so lucky he’d look my way.’ She gazed with affection at Lily. ‘Yes, this man is rich and attractive, but he’s only one step ahead of the law.’
‘So he’s a businessman. He runs a brothel.’ Lily leapt to his defence.
‘I know that!’ Rachel’s eyes flashed with anger. ‘You say that as if I don’t know already. My Hymie spent enough money there on prostitutes.’
Lily gasped with shock. ‘I didn’t know.’
‘When I found out, I made him sleep in another room. You think I wanted him in my bed, maybe give me some disease?’ She frowned. ‘You want to be part of this world, Lily?’
Shaking her head, Lily tried to explain. ‘Vittorio can be charming, kind. We laugh a lot together. I really like him. No one is all bad, Rachel.’
‘Have you really thought it through? Isn’t there an alternative?’
Lily laughed bitterly. ‘Oh yes. I could go back on the game! I tried it once, but I hated it.’
Rachel was shattered. Taking Lily into her arms, she said, ‘Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Was it when you ran away?’
Lily nodded.
‘Oh my God. I take the blame for that. It was all because of Manny.’
Lily eased away from Rachel’s hold. ‘That wasn’t anyone’s fault. I made the decision to go and I had to eat.’
‘Let me help you financially,’ pleaded Rachel.
Lily shook her head.
‘What about your house?’ asked Rachel. ‘You got a house, why don’t you take in lodgers? Then you wouldn’t be lonely.’
‘No, it isn’t the same. There would be people there, and I’d make some money, but I need more than that. I want to feel a man’s arms about me. Someone to hold me when I’m sad. To care how I feel. No, my dear. I’m seriously thinking of accepting Vittorio’s offer. I just need a little more time to make up my mind, that’s all.’ She kissed Rachel’s cheek. ‘I’ll come and see you next week in the home of recovery.’
‘Take care, my child,’ whispered Rachel as she watched Lily walk down the ward towards the exit.
It seemed like fate that the one person Lily should meet on her way home was Vittorio. With her eyes downcast, she didn’t see him approach until he said, ‘Hello, Lily. What’s so interesting about the pavement that you study it so carefully?’
She looked up into his smiling eyes, but the despondency she was still feeling tempered her response. ‘Hello.’
He frowned. ‘Something’s troubling you. Can I help?’
She shook her head.
Taking hold of her arm, he said, ‘Come along. This won’t do at all. You’re coming with me.’
‘Where are we going?’ she protested. ‘You can’t just drag me off.’
‘You’ll see,’ he said as he hailed a taxi. ‘Dolphin Hotel please, driver.’
He didn’t make conversation on the journey, just held her hand, which to Lily was strangely comforting. When they arrived at their destination, he led her into the dining room and ordered tea and cakes for two.
Once the waiter had served them he asked softly, ‘Now you must tell me what’s the matter. I don’t think I have ever seen you like this. Where is the fire in you that usually burns so brightly?’
She gave a wry smile. ‘I suppose I forgot to light it today.’
As she poured the tea he said, ‘You need someone to take care of you, Lily, my dear. You’re too young and lovely to be alone. You need a man in your life.’