Rex (32 page)

“Hunter is flying anyone out who I want to be there. He’s just amazing.” Her voice exudes nothing but love and admiration. “You, my family, Rex of course,” she says, grinning wickedly.

The picture in my mind elicits an uncontrollable twitch from my lips: the sun gleaming off the golden sand, snow-capped waves crashing onto the shore, my hair swaying in the salty breeze—and Rex.

Sounds like paradise to me.

I asked her if she wanted to make out? I’m acting like a fucking teenager who’s never had a hard-on before in his life. We know
that
couldn’t be further from the truth.

But the reality is, I don’t even recognize myself when I’m with her. It’s like some alien being has taken over my brain and I can’t be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth. That should probably piss me off in some way. But surprisingly it doesn’t.

“Rex, fucking awesome, man,” Scottie says, admiring his tattoo, dragging me back down to earth. “That makes four you’ve done for me since you’ve been here.”

“Should I expect you back next month for number five?” I joke, and he rubs his bald scalp, contemplating my question.

“I’m not sure. I’d like to, but my wife would probably divorce me. She told me the first two were hot, but now she thinks I’m going a bit overboard.” He stands up and checks out the skull on his bicep. “She may not like this one, but I fucking love it. Thanks, man.”

“Sure. Let me get it wrapped up, then you can get the hell out of here and so can I,” I tease, and he chuckles, his round belly shaking with the sound. But I’m not really joking. The rush of adrenaline pumping through my veins tells me there’s somewhere important I need to be.

Thankfully, I get back to my building with a half hour to spare. It’s a shithole as usual, and I’d like to get it picked up a bit before Vanessa arrives.

After hiding my dirty clothes in a big pile in the closet, quickly scrubbing the dishes, and making sure the bathroom is presentable, it’s nearly seven. I take a fast shower to scrub the remnants of my day off before sliding on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then running my hands through my hair a couple of times.

The loud knock that sounds is music to my fucking ears, the smile on my face evidence to prove it. And when I open the door, my lungs seem to have a problem functioning. Staring back at me is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. It’s not just the golden mane surrounding her high cheekbones or the way her shirt hugs her tits, or even the curvy waist and hips leading down to those luxurious legs. What really makes me lose my breath is the light in her eyes, the tip of her lips that tells me she’s just as happy to see me as I am to see her.

My gaze lands on the tin of popcorn she’s holding on to for dear life. “I see you brought your staple,” I say, and she laughs, holding it out for me to take.

“Yes, for sustenance.”

The tin and her purse drop to the floor with a thud as I yank her inside, wrapping my arms around her waist, needing to feel her against me. One of my hands wanders to the back of her neck, holding her close. Then I kiss her, our lips fitting together so perfectly it’s as if she is the only person I was ever meant to kiss. And as she opens for me and my tongue slides against hers, I’m alive. More so than I’ve ever been—more so than I ever dreamed I could be.

She’s awakened me, lifting me from a place of darkness. I’m not fucked up when I’m with her. I don’t feel like I’m damaged beyond repair. And while I know she can’t be the one to fix me, she makes me feel like I’ve got a shot at something I never thought was possible, that I rejected for so long.

Happiness.

She moans into my mouth as my thumb strokes back and forth over the sensitive skin behind her ear. When she reaches between us and takes my face in her hands, I feel like she’s got me.

God
, she so fucking has me in every sense of the word.

Our kiss becomes softer but she continues to lick at me, her tongue lashing out to catch my lower lip, and I let her because, well, it feels so fucking good.

“I think that’s a pretty good start to our makeout session.” She smiles against my mouth, fisting her hands in my hair. “I like your hair longer like this, it gives me something to tug on.”

“You know… it’s a good thing you finally stopped pushing me away because I would’ve resorted to drastic measures.”

“Oh
really
.” She angles her head back to get a better view of my eyes. “And what might those have been?”

“Well.” I hook a finger through her belt loop, tugging her closer. “I might have kidnapped you and tied you up until you submitted.”

She smiles as if she likes the idea, mischief written all over her face. “Hmmm…,” she moans, licking her lips and my cock hardens.

“You into that, Blondie?” I ask, trying to quell the discomfort in my jeans.

She grins. “With you, maybe.”

“Well, I don’t think I’d want you tied up, I like your hands on me too much.”

“Well, maybe I could tie
you
up.” She smirks, brushing her lips against mine again.

“Now that’s definitely food for thought. Speaking of which, you hungry?” I reluctantly let her go and grab my wallet from the table, tucking it into my back pocket.

Her hand goes to her stomach just as it starts to growl. “Yeah, I guess I am. I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

“Come on. Let’s go feed you.” I weave our fingers together before we head down to the elevator, passing a guy on the way who gives Vanessa the once over. My jaw pinches tight as my hand squeezes hers. I’ve never really been one for public displays of affection before, but it doesn’t bother me with Vanessa. I actually like it. Or maybe I just want everyone to know she’s mine.

“What do you feel like eating?” I ask when we get down to the street, looking to my left and right, trying to figure out which direction to go in.

“I’ve got a craving for Italian. There’s that small place I walked by on the way here, around the corner from you.” She points just down the block to the right. “What’s it called? Gianni’s?”

“Yeah. We can go there. The food is actually really good.”

The walk to Gianni’s takes all of about two minutes. I hold the door open for Vanessa when we get there, only to have some drunken asshole plow into her on his way out. She loses her footing and stumbles back, my arms shooting out to catch her.

Rage grabs a firm hold of me, clouding my vision. “What the fuck, man? Why don’t you watch where the hell you’re going!”

He curses under his breath, then mumbles a couple of insincere apologies before he shuffles down the street, struggling to maintain his balance.

“You okay, baby?” I clasp her shoulders, looking her over from head to toe.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He just startled me is all,” she assures me with a bright smile.

“Gotta love the effects of excessive alcohol,” I snarl as we head into the restaurant, the past shoved in my face in an instant.

“Wow, it’s really dark in here,” Vanessa comments, the only illumination coming from overhead lighting and small red votives on each table. “Do we just seat ourselves?” she asks, and I nod.

We find a booth in a quiet corner. Vanessa goes first and I slide in next to her. “So what’s good here?” She picks up the menu and begins flipping through the pages.

“Pretty much everything. I think the veal parm is their specialty, though. I’m actually gonna get the shrimp parm. That’s really good, too.”

“Okay,” she asserts, closing the menu. “I’ll get the veal. So,” she fastens her hands together in front of her on the table as we wait for the server, “I saw Olivia today. She tried on wedding dresses.”

“Oh yeah?” I hook an arm over the back of the booth, settling in close to her. “How did that go?”

“It was great. She found the most beautiful dress and she’s so happy. I really see how much your brother loves her. He’s really good for her.” Vanessa looks up at me with those enormous blue eyes and I tug on my lip, feeling like I should say something, but not knowing what the hell to say.

“Yeah. I’m happy for my brother, too.” I lay my hand on top of hers. “It’s funny to see him like this, though. He’s usually all business with women, or,” I chuckle, “the arm candy he was sporting over the years. This is a completely different side of him I’m not used to seeing.” I stare down at our fingers, the past creeping up on me, my memories on overload. “We were so different growing up, you know? He was playing little league while I was hanging out with my friends on the railroad tracks trying cigarettes for the first time. He was running track on the school field while only several feet away, I was smoking weed.” My laughter at the recollection turns into a bitter scowl. “I didn’t understand it until I found out we had different fathers, then it all made sense.”

“What was your dad like?” She rests her other hand on my knee, and I appreciate the fact that she’s trying to turn this around for me.

Nadine, one of the waitresses here, shows up to take our order. “Hey, doll, how are you?” she asks, placing all of her attention on me.

“I’m good. Nadine, this is Vanessa, my….” I hesitate, not entirely sure what I should say. But I certainly don’t want to say the wrong thing. “Girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you,” Vanessa says, the smile lifting her lips and the way she squeezes my thigh tells me I made the right choice.

“Damn it, Rex. That means there’s no chance for me then, is there?” She raps her pencil against her pad, tossing Vanessa a playful wink.

“No. Sorry,” I reply, as Vanessa huddles up closer to my side, marking her territory.

“All right, then what can I get you to eat?”

“We’ll have one veal parm and one shrimp parm, and I’ll have a beer.” I turn to Vanessa. “What do you want to drink, baby?”

“Just a large water with lemon, thanks.”

As soon as Nadine walks away, Vanessa taps my chin. I shift to face her, rewarded with a hard kiss on the lips. I’m barely able to resist the temptation to drag her tongue into my mouth.

“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.” I twist a strand of her hair, curling it around my finger.

“Can’t your
girlfriend
give you a kiss?” There’s a subtle lift of her head and I internally give myself a high five. I’m getting better with this stuff.

“My girlfriend can give me anything she wants,” I whisper, my lips resting just above her ear.

“I’ll make a mental note.” There’s a visible change in her breathing, her legs shifting under the table. “Wait, what were we talking about?” She laughs, just as Nadine sets our drinks down then ambles away. “Oh yeah, your dad. I want to know what he was like.”

“Hmph,” I sigh, “I guess what I remember most is that he was always around. Even though I knew he had a very busy job, he always left his shit at the office, and when he was with us… he was with us. I think he probably overcompensated too at times for my mother, but he always had us on the forefront of his mind.” I rub my chin thoughtfully. “He was funny and he made great peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

After a few more minutes, Nadine brings our food, disrupting my trip down memory lane. “Here you go. If you need anything else, let me know.”

“Thanks,” we both say before she saunters away.

“You know the one thing that sticks out for me, though?” I recall, taking a swig of my beer. “He took me to his office one day and all of my school drawings were taped on his wall.” Even now, my heart warms at the memory. “I remember how happy that made me, that he was proud of me, that he thought my pictures were good.”

She lays her fork down on her plate. “Just think what he would say if he could see you now. You’re exceptional, and you’re spreading your gift to the world, Rex. Your art is on people’s skin… forever.”

“Yeah.” Contentment rolls around inside of me because I know she’s right. I love what I do. It’s the one thing that has always made me feel as though I have some worth… until now.

There’s an easy silence that accompanies us as we continue eating, yet Vanessa seems distracted. When she finally breaks the quiet, I understand why. “My dad never had time for me like that. Work was everything to him. It’s what he lived for. That’s why he always bought me things. I think maybe he thought that could take the place of his love, but he was so wrong.” Sadness pours from her eyes and I want to take it from her, to rid her of the pain. “I didn’t care about any of it. I would have given anything if he had just paid attention to me, climbed a tree with me, or came to one of my school plays… anything. By the time he and my mother decided to grace me with their presence at my graduation, I just didn’t care anymore. It was too little, too late.”

She holds her head up high, letting out a deep breath. “But you know what, I’m all grown up now, and it is what it is, right?” But she doesn’t sound all that convincing to me.

“Hey.” I caress her with my voice, wrapping my fingers around her wrist, drawing her gaze to mine. “I guess one thing I’ve realized is that we’re never too old to be affected. It still hurts and that’s okay, baby.”

She lays her head on my shoulder and I press my lips to her hair. “I don’t know how to get rid of the anger though, how to let it go. I just don’t think I can.”