Reward for Retief (18 page)

            The girl shrugged her
shapely shoulders, almost losing her towel, which she slapped back in place
with a sharp rebuke; "Stay put, dammit, don't want to go getting Pop all
upset. I'm the enforcer," she added.

            "And just how, pray, do
you propose to go about
forcing
me to ignore so provocative a
find?" Magnan demanded tartly, and made a move toward the nexus box.
Nudine made a lightning-fast move and flipped Magnan backwards across the
bench, then peered anxiously after him, at the same time retrieving her towel.

            "You OK, Pop?" she
queried.

            "I would be, if you'd
stop fooling with that damned towel," Magnan came back spiritedly.
"As an ecdasiast, you have no peer, that I'll grant. Now help me up, and
no more of this impudence!"

            Jacinthe lent a hand to pull
Magnan back to an upright position.

            " 'Enforcer,'
indeed!" he muttered, as he got to his feet. "Has no one suggested to
you, my dear, that it's most inappropriate for a fragile young lady to presume
to represent the forces of, ah, force?"

            "Last one did, hadda
have extensive dental work did," Nudine replied confidently. She turned to
Small. "Better keep a eye on Pop," she ordered. "Don't want him
getting into no more trouble." She blew on her knuckles and gave the towel
a final tug as she turned to leave the clearing.

            "I better go along and
see what Jim's doing," she added over her bare shoulder. "Shouldn't
be no smoke over there, near the Place; you boys coming, or what? And you, Pop,
stay clear o' that Connection, OK?"

            "I shall of course
accompany you," Magnan muttered. "But I warn you; my colleague is
unlikely to be so compliant as I, regarding your improvised 'rules'."

            "Smoke was over
thataway," Small said, pointing. He was interrupted by the abrupt
reappearance of Bill, soot-smudged and breathing hard. "Got big
trouble!" he gasped out.

            "Hold hard, boy,"
Small ordered. "What kinda big trouble? Retief OK, or what?"

            "It's got him
surrounded," Bill explained. "He's holed up in a kinda cave we found.
He kept it busy while I snuck past."

            "May I inquire,"
Magnan put in cooly, "precisely to what the pronoun 'it' has reference in
that context?"

            "Prolly old Worm,"
Nudine supplied. "I guess I shoulda tole him more about that, but seem
like we was having such a nice time ..."

            "That is hardly
encouraging information, Miss Jacinthe," Magnan commented faintly.

            "The rest is worser'n
that," the girl supplied. "You want to be encouraged, or you want the
facts?"

            "Facts, to be sure, my
dear," Magnan replied in a tone of Mild Reprimand (14-b). "Just what
else can you tell us about this Worm?"

            "Couple hunnert feet
long, maybe," Nudine told him. "Not that nobody never up and measured
it. Moves too fast for that anyways." She batted absently at the hovering
gnats.

            "My dear," Magnan
put in gently, "we must avoid the double, and in this case, triple
negative. In effect, you negate what you intend to express, by the redundant
multiplication of negative particles."

            "Oh," Jacinthe said
without emphasis. "Anyways, you get the idear: Worm's big, can get inside
yer head, too. Not like wibbly-nits in a log, but it
talks
in yer head.
Says some pretty wild stuff, too. If it's got Retief surrounded, means it's
noticed him. Best bet's to not get noticed."

            "Speaks in one's head,
eh?" Magnan mused to himself.

            "Seen the fire,"
Bill put in. "Bunch o' them crud-bums from over the gate, putting the
torch to a nice little shed, looked like a bank. Purty spot; shade trees, you
know, and flowers. They was stealing a lot of stuff from inside, pots and
little statues and like that."

            "Looting and burning
the Temple," Small grunted. "Heard tell about the place. Ain't right
them rogues should wreck it." He nodded in agreement with himself.

            "Mr. Retief went around
back," Bill continued, "tole me to stay put, clobber any of 'em got
close. Then a minute later they come yelling and hollering, shoving each other
outa the way, couldn't get outa there fast enough. I figgered the coast was
clear, so I went around where Mr. Retief went, and seen this here critter, like
a snake big as a tube-car and covered with like feathers. I seen the cave and
snuck into it; the snake never seen me. Minute later Mr. Retief come in and
tole me to take off and tell Miss Jacinthe here what I seen. The old snake
whipped around fast and went outa sight, and here I am. We gotta do something.
Mr. Retief s pinned down in that hole in the ground. He tole me to go,
otherwise I'd of stuck with him."

            "Of course you would
have, sergeant," Magnan soothed the lad. "You did precisely the right
thing." He turned to Nudine. "Is this Worm a carnivore?" he
inquired. "And what do you mean about it talking in one's head? Mere
folklore, I'd have assumed, but for certain curious phenomena."

            "Ain't no
folklore," Nudine retorted sharply. "Old Worm stays in a cave yonder,
nice and cool down there, till some dang fool like Dirty Eddie comes along and
gives him a hard time, like tryna burn down the neat little shed somebody built
over the mouth of his cave and all. Come on: Jimmy ain't got a chance less'n we
do something!" She ended sharply and strode off.

            "And what, pray, can
one, ah, 'do'?" Magnan demanded anxiously as he fell in behind the
indignant girl. Bill and Small came along, muttering.

            "... need us a
howitzer," Bill's voice rose above the crash of thrust-aside shrubbery.

            "... tis but ill to
tarry near the lair of the fabled beast," Small contributed. Nudine
ignored them and moved on boldly. After a quarter-mile of progress through
forest seemingly as ancient as the hills it clothed, enfolding an occasional
plot of sunny greensward, an excited man clad in unwashed rags burst into view.
He halted momentarily and gave Nudine a careful scrutiny, which she ignored;
then he rushed up to Magnan.

            "You're a big
shot," he stated breathlessly. "I can tell 'cause you got socks on,
and that there's one o' them ties, ain't it?"

            Magnan shook loose the
fellow's clutch and hurried on.

            "Need help here, you
honor," the derelict yelled after him. "You gonna jest ignore a
feller tryna tell ya about our Big Trouble?"

            Magnan halted and turned a
stern look on the unkempt stranger. "We have quite sufficient Big Trouble
of our own, sirrah," he rebuked the importunate man. "Go along,
now!"

            "Wait a minute, Pop,"
Jacinthe suggested. "Looks like old Raunch here has got something to tell
us. Maybe important. You seen old Worm, Raunch?" she concluded, addressing
the newcomer.

           
"Seen
it?"
Raunch echoed in a tone of Stunned Incredulity (an awkward 271-g, Magnan noted).

            "Never attempt subtleties,
my man," he advised, "the technique of which is quite beyond the
non-diplomatic mind. You should have tried for a 14-a (Mild Surprise at an
Opponent's Lack of Preparation). Now, what's this all about?"

            "Gee, sir," Raunch
stammered, "I never meant to tempt no sutde Ts nor nothin. Jest wanneda
say old Wormy got some fellers cornered up his cave, which they ain't got a
hope. So long." With this, Raunch abruptly withdrew.

            "Here, fellow!"
Magnan yelped. "I have not yet dismissed you! I require more details of
this matter!"

            "You, Raunch!"
Nudine yelled. "You get yer butt back here pronto: I wanna talk to yew,
boy!"

            Raunch reappeared, looking
sheepish. "I was gonna take a look, see if they was sneaking up on
us," he mumbled.

            "Who?" Nudine
demanded.

            "Us!" Raunch
reiterated indignantly.

            " 'Us' what?"
Nudine persisted.

            "Us getting snuck up
on, nacherly," Raunch responded, as One Whose Sensibilities Have Been
Wounded (2-w).

            "There you go
again," Magnan mourned. "Were I not a sophisticated interpreter of
nuances, I'd have taken that for a 71, (How Can You Pick On a Sick Man) about a
-g."

            "I don't believe yer
sick at all," Raunch announced flatly. "Don't nobody get sick here in
Zanny-du."

            "I didn't say I was
sick, you simpleton!" Magnan snarled. "Oh, dear, what's the
use?"

            "Right, Pop,"
Nudine seconded. "Guys like old Raunch here don't care
how
sick a
feller is."

            "I am not, and I
emphasize NOT, sick!" Magnan yelled. "Whence did that foolish notion
arise?"

            "You said so, Mr.
Magnan," Small supplied diffidently. "I heard ya my ownself. You was
as ting how old Raunch here culd pick on a sick man, and it was you he was
picking on, so—" He let it go at that.

            "I see I've been too
long among civilized bureaucrats who have enough couth to conceal their
ignorance," Magnan moaned. "I simply can't cope with morons."

            "Yew ain't calling me
no moe-roan, are ya, Pop?" Jacinthe guessed. "Musta just meant Small,
and o' course Raunchy."

            "I had enough,"
Small barked. "I'll see you at the club sometime, Nudie." With that
he turned, brushed past Raunch and disappeared into the deep forest.

            "How far is it?"
Magnan asked the girl. "Is this woods endless?"

            "Naw, onney about twice
five miles," she reassured him. "That's including all the gardens
which they're bright with sinuous rills and all—and plenty o' spots o' sunny
greenery, too. But we better get going. Retief s gonna freeze solid in them ice
caves, even if old Worm don't get him."

            "Perhaps I'd best hurry
along," Magnan suggested, and plunged ahead along the faint trail.

2

           
After leaving
the party by the pond, Retief had followed a well-marked trail toward the
cluster of golden domes from near which the smoke was rising in a diaphanous
white cloud. Drawing close to the blaze, he heard hoarse voices yelling
tunelessly:

-

"Oh,
the King of Grote was a hell of a note,

And
his horns was tipped with brass,

And
one grew out of his upper lip, and

The
other grew out of his ump-te-ump ..."

-

            Retief motioned Bill left
and himself circled to the right to come up behind the tiny, classically
designed structure from which the smoke originated, pouring out between the
pristine white columns.

            One of the incendiaries came
out to the fringe of the woods surrounding the temple to relieve himself.
Retief waited until he had completed the chore, then stepped in front of him as
he headed back to rejoin the fun. The man, squat, scruffy and red-headed,
lowered his head and charged with a bellow of rage. Retief stepped aside, and
as the redhead tried to change direction, he took him almost gently by the
collar of his greasy pea-jacket and swung him around.

            The man gave Retief an
astonished look as he tried without success to free himself.

            "I ain't ever
seen
you!"
he yelled.