Rev (Jack 'Em Up #4) (30 page)

“Hey, Sarg.”

“Corporal. You doing all right?”

“I’m alive.”

“That’s reassuring.” He waited a beat to see if I’d explain. I didn’t. “Listen, I wanted to touch base. I heard back from them.”

He didn’t need to expound. “Yeah. Me, too. They pretty much told me where I could shove my forgiveness.”

“They’re hurting, Micah.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and let my head thump on the back of the couch. “I know.”

“They’ll come around. It was an accident.” He echoed Jewel’s words, but they did nothing to calm me.

“I didn’t say I blamed them. They have every right to hate me.”

He was silent a long moment. “They have every right to hate
me
, Corporal. I was the commander of that tank, or did you forget that? I gave you an order. You followed. That’s how things work, especially in war. You’ll kill yourself if you can’t let this go, man.”

“I didn’t have to follow the order.” I voiced the one thing that haunted me above all else. Even in the chaos that night, I knew in my gut it was the wrong call, but I hadn’t questioned my orders. I did what I was told like a good little grunt, and killed two good men because of my weakness.

“Maybe not, but you were trained to follow orders. I was trained to give them. I made the best decision I could under the circumstances, and even though I hate what happened, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing again. We were under heavy fire and we reacted to save ourselves and our fellow Marines. If you would’ve balked, you could’ve been disciplined for insubordination, or worse, gotten us killed. It’s the way of war. You know that.”

“I know that. I do. I still hate myself for it.”

“So do I.”

We were quiet a moment.

“What about Franks’ grandma?” he finally asked.

“What about her?”

“I talked to her.”

I sat up, my body rigid, waiting for the next blow. “You did?”

“Yeah. A couple days ago. She doesn’t blame us, man. She told me how proud Franks was to be a Marine. How he hated the war, but loved fighting alongside us . . .” I blinked against the burning behind my lids. “She’s a good Christian woman and she told me she forgave me the day they buried him.” Emotion choked him up. “She asked me to tell you the same. She’d like to talk to you, too.”

“I . . . she would?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” I raked a hand down my face and realized I hadn’t shaved. “Guess one out of two ain’t bad.”

“It’s not, but you can’t live your life waiting for their forgiveness. You said your peace, the ball’s in their court. It’s up to you to forgive yourself now. Nobody can do that for you.”

“Have you? Forgiven yourself?”

“I’m working on it.”

That made two of us.

Jewel

I
didn’t have the energy to cry. I had to believe Micah would come around. Surely, all the love we shared would carry us through. Surely, it wasn’t all a lie.

I didn’t bother sitting and stewing in my misery. Screw that. I called the girls and we got together at Delilah’s place a couple days after the camping fiasco.

Rachel lifted her glass of wine. “To that asshole being behind bars.”

Tori clinked her grape juice to my rim. “No shit.”

I laughed. “I’ll drink to that.”

Delilah nudged me with her shoulder. “You okay?” she asked quietly.

I nodded and glanced at the kids playing on the living room floor. “I’m okay.”

“Micah’s a good guy. He’s just a little lost. He’ll figure things out eventually.”

I grabbed my cousin’s hand. “I hope so.”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Tori asked, her expression one of sad understanding.

“I really do.”

“I . . . oh, ouch . . .” Tori placed a hand to her belly. “Fucking Braxton-Hicks. What a dick.”

We laughed.

“Anyway,” Tori said once the pain passed. “As I was saying, I totally understand. Trace and I had to sort through some serious stuff, too.”

“I think we all did,” Rachel agreed, her gaze locked on Tori as she clutched her belly again. “You sure you’re not in labor?”

Tori’s gray eyes flew up. “What? No. I’ve still got a couple of weeks until I’m due.”

“Uh, I hate to break it to you, but that’s not an exact science,” Delilah added. “Declan was born almost three weeks early.”

Tori glanced down at her stomach like an alien was going to pop out of it. “Holy shit.”

I watched in fascination as the other two women got Tori up out of her chair and began walking her around the house. “Walking’s good for labor,” Rachel explained. “Got Avery right out.”

Tori froze. “I’m not sure I’m ready to get this baby out.”

“Sure you are. The nursery’s ready. Trace and Ryder are biting at the bit. You’re just scared.” Delilah urged her to keep going.

Tori’s gaze met mine. “I am scared.”

I rose and walked over. “Don’t be scared. At the end of it all, you’re getting something special.”

She smiled sweetly at me just before her face crumpled in pain. “This shit sucks.”

I bit my lip against a smile. “Want me to call Trace?”

She shook her head then paused to reconsider. “Yes.”

I snuck to the kitchen and grabbed my cell while Delilah and Rachel prodded her to keep walking. I didn’t have Trace’s number programmed, so I just dialed the shop.

“Jack ‘Em Up.”

I paused at Micah’s deep voice, a tight fist clenched around my heart.

“Hello?”

“Um, hi,” I squeaked out.

“Jewel?”

“Yeah.”

“Is everything okay?” He sounded concerned. I must’ve sounded like hell.

My kneejerk reaction was to rail at him and tell him I was most definitely
not
okay, but today wasn’t about that. “Yeah, it’s fine. I actually need to speak with Trace. Is he around?”

Pause. “Yeah. Sure. Just a sec.”

There was clanking and raised voices in the background as Micah summoned Trace to the office. Laughter. A door slamming.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Trace, it’s Jewel.”

“What’s up, Jewel?”

I glanced back at my friends as they lapped the living room for the third time, all the kids watching them with interest. “Tori asked me to call. She might be in labor.”

“Labor?”

“Yeah. She’s been having contractions all day and they seem to be getting worse.”

“Are you guys at our house?”

“No. We’re at Delilah’s.”

“Right. I forgot. Girl time.” He paused and I heard something shuffle, a car start. “Is she all right?”

“She’s fine. Just in pain.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Sure.” I rounded the couch and handed Tori the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”

She grimaced and grabbed the phone. “Are you on your way?”

His words were muffled, but it was clear he was concerned.

“I’m fine,” she said. “Just get here, okay? I’m scared.”

She listened a minute longer then hung up and handed me the phone. “You know, as much as I hated Kristi for everything she did to Trace and Ryder, I can’t imagine how she was prepared to go through this alone.”

Rachel rubbed her back. “Well, good thing you don’t have to worry about that. You have us and a man who loves you.”

Tears filled Tori’s eyes, making them look like bruised storm clouds. “I know.” She bent over and panted for breath as another pain gripped her. “Can I have my epidural now?”

We all laughed.

Tori did not. “I’m serious, guys. I’m obviously a total wimp and I’m already over this.”

A few minutes later, Trace bolted through the door and headed straight for his wife.

“Thank God,” Delilah mumbled under her breath.

He kissed her brow. “You okay, baby?”

She nodded and clung to him through another contraction.

He thanked us and ushered her out the door. “See you guys at the hospital?”

We assured him we’d be there and then they were gone.

Delilah, Rachel, and I stared at each other, a bit shell-shocked.

“Well, that was interesting,” Rachel finally said as Avery belted out a yowl. She picked her up and patted her back. “I’ve gotta feed this little monkey, then it’s naptime. I probably can’t get to the hospital until Jesse’s off work.”

“Me, either,” Delilah added. “Molly has a doctor’s appointment and Declan hasn’t been feeling well.”

“Well, I can go.”

They faced me, their frowns morphing into smiles. Some girl support was better than none. They handed me my purse and practically shoved me out the door.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” Delilah promised. “Give Tori our love.”

As soon as I walked into the Labor and Delivery waiting room, their weird behavior made perfect sense. Meddling friends.

Micah glanced up from where he was sitting with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed. He seemed surprised to see me. “Hi.”

I cautiously approached, not sure which Micah I’d be getting today. “What are you doing here?”

He frowned. “Uh, Rachel called and said I should be here to support Trace. She said he was a nervous wreck when he picked Tori up and I should come since Jesse and Blake were busy . . .” His face cleared. “They did the same to you, didn’t they?”

I plopped into the chair next to him. “Looks like we’ve been played.”

He peered at me from the corner of his eye. “I can go if you want. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable. Just sad.”

His head dropped again. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m just so fucking lost.”

My heart softened and I leaned over to grab his hand. “I know you are. But I don’t want to lose you . . . lose us . . . to something out of my control.”

“I know.” He squeezed my fingers. “I don’t either.” He lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “I’m working on it, okay?”

“Okay.”

We both glanced up when Trace burst into the room, his face radiating happiness. “She’s six centimeters. They’re getting her ready for her epidural then they’ll break her water. I’m gonna be a daddy again today.”

Micah stood and shook his hand. “Congrats, man. That’s great.”

“What do you need us to do?” I asked.

“Not a thing,” Trace answered, his eyes darting back in the direction of his wife. “Just pass along the word.”

“We will,” I promised. “Who’s got Ryder?”

“I called Mrs. Callahan. She got him off the bus and will keep him until I can get home.”

I nodded. “Okay. Get back to the mom-to-be and tell her we love her, okay?”

“Of course.” He kissed my cheek. “Thanks for taking care of her until I could get there.”

Micah and I watched him leave then turned to each other with goofy grins. In spite of our crap, this was a happy day. A baby was going to be born.

Five and a half hours later, the entire crowd was huddled in the waiting room (minus kiddos who were with grandparents) when Trace walked in, an exhausted smile on his face.