Return to Love (14 page)

“You won’t go out with me, but you’ll let that loser have you?” Chris said moving his strong hand up to grab the back of her neck forcing her to look up at him. He was holding her too close for her to try to kick him and get away. He must have been planning this for awhile she guessed. She couldn’t see anything except for him, but she could hear his friends yelling encouragement from somewhere nearby. She knew with the location of the bathroom and the thick concrete walls that her screams would never be heard.

“All right Chris you win I’m scared now okay? Let me go. You’re gonna be late for class.” At that moment, the second bell rang, and Joanie could just picture the empty hallways surrounding her. The only good thing was she heard a couple of his friends leave also.

She could feel the vibrations coming from his body as he chuckled. “I’ve thought about it for a long time Joanie, and I decided that I’ll give you one more chance. You promise to go out with me, and I’ll let you go okay? It’s that simple.”

Joanie mind raced with options. She figured if she said yes that he would leave her alone for now. But when she didn’t show up he would be even madder than he is already. She thought about Eric and made her decision.

“Go to hell Chris, the answer is no, and it always will be.” Joanie said as she felt her anger beginning to overcome her fear. The astonished look on Chris’s face was priceless, and Joanie would have laughed if the situation wasn’t so serious. His face contorted with anger and Joanie recognized how truly ugly he was underneath. He grabbed her and kissed her forcing her lips apart with his hand. She felt his tongue enter her mouth, and she bit down hard. He pulled back in pain.

“Chris, you’re taking this too far man, let her go.” Tom, one of Chris’s friends pleaded.

Chris turned his head and sent him a warning look. Joanie looked over to Tom hopefully, but he just stood there anxiously.

Chris turned his attention back to Joanie, he smiled wickedly, and Joanie felt her blood run cold. He thrust his pelvis hard against her trapping her securely between the wall and him. She felt his groin harden against her stomach and tasted bile welding up in her throat.

Chris smiled dangerously. “You like it rough huh? Well so do I.” He moved to kiss her again when Tom grabbed his shoulder.

“Come on man this ain’t fun anymore. Let her go.” Chris released Joanie and she immediately got out of the boys way. He stared hard at Tom as Joanie fled out the door and down the hall. He moved as if to go after her when Tom again stepped in. “Leave it be man? You’re too good for her anyway.” Chris nodded dumbly as he went to the sink to wash the blood out of his mouth. “This ain’t over.” He murmured to no one as he slammed open the door and walked out. His friends exchanged relieved glances and headed to class.

When Joanie left the bathroom, she ran down the corridor and sought refuge in the girl’s locker room. Wishing it had a lock on the door she held her breath waiting. She cautiously put her ear against the cold wooden door and waited several minutes. When nothing happened she slowly pulled away and slid down the wall. She was glad that her classmates were already in the gym. She could hear the pounding of the basketballs against the floor as she felt the first tear slide down her face.

Stop it. She chastised herself as another followed. She cursed herself for being weak as more tears fell. Consumed by despair she soon lost track of the number as her small frame shook with sobs. She knew that the situation was out of her control, and it scared the hell out of her. ‘Oh why oh why didn’t you tell Eric or Brad?’ She badgered herself. Taking a shuddering breath, she forced herself to stop crying. She climbed to her feet and went over and looked in the mirror.

Her mouth had some blood on it from when she had bitten Chris and her lips were slightly swollen from the force. Her eyes were red, and a few stray strands of hair clung to her wet face. “You look like shit Caldwell.” She whispered to herself her voice breaking. She smiled, in spite of herself, as she pushed up her sleeves, so they wouldn’t get wet, as she doused her face. The cold water did wonders. It shocked her awake and rejuvenated her spirit. She quickly swirled some inside of her mouth to wash out Chris’s vile taste. She grabbed a towel and wiped her face dry. She again looked at herself. She looked a little better. Her eyes were a little red, but she doubted anyone besides Kate would be able to tell. She quickly put her hair up into a pony tail and changed into her gym clothes.

She had missed half the class, but she needed to release all of her pent up energy. She slipped on the short sleeve uniform and for the first time noticed her still red wrist. They actually had a tinge of blue on them where Chris had held her tightly. Her smile faded how was she going to hide that? She sighed. She doubted anyone would notice in gym class, and her sweater would cover most of it, taking a deep breath she headed out the other door and into the gym.

Her classmates were playing basketball. Or at least they were trying to play basketball she grinned as one girl accidentally kicked the ball as she was trying to dribble and had to chase it out of bounds. She looked over at the coach,
and he nodded to her. She smiled, recovered the ball and sent it swiftly through the air and into the net. Putting all her energy into the game she quickly got the rebound again and repeated the process three more times. The exercise really helped improve her state of mind. She had always loved sports.

She thought back to all the times she and Chad had played basketball when they were younger. Thinking of Chad made her think of Eric, and she felt warm all over. She was lost in her thoughts as Coach blew the whistle. She looked up surprised time had flown by. She quickly put the ball away and headed for the shower. She turned the water on as hot as it would go and tried to cleanse herself of Chris’s vile touch. After scrubbing herself, she hurriedly towel dried her hair, and went to dress so she could leave with the other girls. She didn’t want to be alone right now though she wouldn’t admit it to herself. She quickly got dressed and threw her still wet hair into a ponytail and headed out the door. She nervously went to her locker and quickly got her books for the next class.

Kate was in her class, and she had a lot to talk about. Seeing Kate wave to her as she entered the room gave her second thoughts about telling her. Then she chastised herself ‘What are you thinking? This is Kate your best friend. You have to tell her. You have to tell somebody.’ She forced a smile and sat down in her seat next to her. They sat in the last row which gave them some privacy. Joanie made sure that no one was listening to them before she whispered to Kate what had happened earlier. Kate’s eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed with anger.

“Well he sure as hell isn’t going to get away with that!” Kate said loudly. Joanie groaned inwardly as several people looked over at them. She gave Kate a ‘be quite look’ and Kate looked guilty. She mouth the words “sorry” before she continued whispering. “Are you alright?” Kate asked noticing for the first time her friend’s appearance.

Joanie forced a smile “I’m fine.” She said cheerfully. In fact, she almost convinced herself.

Kate looked at her accusingly “Liar.” She whispered, and Joanie sighed. She knew she could never fool Kate. The teacher was late, so they had longer than usual to talk.

“What are you going to do?” Kate whispered. Joanie shrugged in despair. Well you have to tell someone. You’ve gotta tell Eric. He’d beat the hell out of his little wimpy...”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Joanie whispered back a little too harshly. She regretted it when she saw the hurt look briefly cross Kate’s face.

“Am I interrupting you girls?” A snide voice asked breaking into their conversation. The girls looked up quickly, and Joanie practically groaned. It was Miss Dune. “No? Then pay attention.” She ordered answering her own question. Everyone in the room had been talking yet she had singled them out. Joanie silently fumed as she turned frontward in her seat. “Your teacher is absent today, so I’ll be your substitute.” Moans went up throughout the room as she turned her back to the class to scrawl her name on the blackboard, like they didn’t know who she was. This was going to be a long day.

The day wore on. Joanie was relieved that she didn’t see Chris the rest of the day. Finally, the last bell rang
,
and she met Kate at her locker. The two girls left the building together.

On the way home, Joanie walked slowly, her mind was reeling with what to do. She didn’t hear Kate ask her a question.

“Well?” Kate demanded.

Joanie looked up startled realizing that they were half way to Kate’s house already. She shook her head to clear it and forced a smile. “I’m sorry Kate I wasn’t paying attention what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to go to the library with me after dinner tonight. If I don’t get at least a “B” on this report, I’m sunk.” Kate said holding her nose and puffing out her cheeks as if she were drowning.

Joanie giggled. Good ‘ole Kate she thought she can always make me feel better no matter how low I get. “Alright Kate, I guess I might as well work on mine too. Meet me at my house at six. I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier today, I’ve just been kind of tense lately.”

Kate nodded knowingly. “No sweat. But if you do change your mind and want to talk you know where I am. My dad can probably drop us off on his way to work, but we’ll have to walk home.”

“Why don’t you see if you can spend the night again? My mom’s not gonna be home tonight, so you can sleep in her bed.” Joanie chattered as a strong gust of wind tore through her coat as if she wasn’t wearing one. She shivered and pulled the collar up as high to her face as she could get it. They reached Kate’s house and reluctantly said goodbye. Kate hesitated halfway up her walk. “You sure you’re gonna be okay walking the rest of the way by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine.” Joanie assured her with more confidence than she felt. She ducked her head down to avoid some of the wind and plodded on alone. Joanie quickened her pace. She had hoped that Eric would show up and give her a ride, but she knew he was at work. Still her heart fluttered as she heard a nearby car slow down behind her. She turned around anxiously, and she felt her stomach tighten, as she recognized Chris’s car. She was only a block from her house, and her options flew through her mind. Wait and see what he wants, ignore him, or run. She decided on the latter one and cut across the street in front of his now parked car.

She heard Chris curse as he slammed the door shut that he had just opened. He hurriedly restarted his engine and tried to follow her, but he was stopped by traffic. Joanie smiled in spite of herself as she went through a neighbor’s fence and made her escape. She quickly reached her apartment and took the steps two at a time. She was breathless as she waited for Chris to jump out of the dark shadows of the stairwell at any second. Finally, she made it to the top and flung open the door. She quickly closed it behind her and locked it. Relived to be home she leaned back against it breathlessly. Her mother looked up from the kitchen where she was sitting at the table going over their bills. “Are you all right honey?” She asked coming over to check on her.

Joanie hesitated; she usually told her mother everything. Well almost everything. Not wanting to add to her mother’s concerns she replied “I’m fine just a little winded. I guess I'm still not used to all those stairs yet.” Joanie said not quite meeting her mother’s eyes.

Carol looked at her skeptically “Well you know you can always come to me if you need to talk.” Joanie nodded and hugged her neck tightly.

“Thanks mom but really I’m okay. Kate and I are going to go to the library after dinner tonight, and I was hoping she could spend the night, if that‘s ok with you.” Joanie asked hopefully since she had already told Kate that it was fine.

Carol frowned slightly the lines creasing her forehead hinting at her age. “You know I don’t like you being out late on a school night especially when I’m at work.” She said walking back to the kitchen.

Joanie followed her still hopeful. “I won’t be alone Kate will be with me, besides her dad’s driving us.” She decided not to mention the fact that he was only driving them to the library as she plopped down in a chair next to her mom. “Besides it’s the library for Pete’s sake!”

Her mom looked up at her daughter and smiled reluctantly. “OK. You just be careful.” Joanie smiled happily, and Carol sighed. She had never been able to refuse her children anything.

Joanie quickly finished the rest of her homework and started dinner while her mother got dressed for work. Joanie put some water on to boil and busied herself with making meatballs and salad to go with her spaghetti. Half an hour later she sat down to eat with her mother.

“Where’s Brad?” she asked between bites.

“He’s staying over at his friend’s house tonight. They’re going to ride into work together until he can get his car fixed. Apparently it needs something more than just gas.”

There was a knock at the door interrupting them, and Joanie jumped up to answer it. Her mother eyed her oddly when she checked the peep hole before flinging the door open. Kate was standing there with her overnight bag. “Hey Ms. Caldwell,” she said as she threw down her overnight bag and waited for Joanie to grab her notebook. Joanie gave her mom a quick kiss goodbye and headed out the door. Joanie and Kate hopped into the backseat of the warm car. She greeted Kate’s dad and shut the door against the cold. The drive to the library was relatively short; it was only four blocks from Joanie’s home. The girls waved bye as they got out of the car. They headed up the steps leading to the ancient building. The librarian, who looked just as old as the library, eyed the girls suspiciously. They quickly found an empty table in a corner of the room and deposited their coats and belongings on top. Looking around Joanie spied the card catalog file and headed towards it, Kate was close behind her. They started shuffling thru the cards and wrote down several on their subject. They soon parted to hunt for their own books and would meet back at the table when they were done.