Repo (The Henchmen MC Book 4) (20 page)

I sighed, making my way back down to the basement and curling up in my bed, back pressed up against the wall and knife tucked under my pillow, my hand resting over it.

--

I woke up later than usual, crawling out of bed with a grumble, my thigh muscles sore from... earlier activities I was actively trying to not think about. Along with the mess with Renny. And, let's not forget, the very dangerous, garrote-wielding Russian traffickers who could very well be looking for me right that moment.

"My life is ridiculous," I grumbled into the silence of the abandoned kitchen, pouring myself a cup of the seemingly always-fresh coffee before making my way outside.

"He's in the back," Repo's voice met me as soon as I stepped out the back door, making me start and splash some of my coffee over my hand.

"Jesus," I hissed, shaking the liquid off my hand and locating Repo where he was sitting on top of one of the picnic tables.

"Didn't mean to scare you," he said.

"It's alright," I shrugged, scanning the dark distance for a sign of Duke. Seeing nothing and knowing it would be another couple of minutes, I took a deep breath and looked over at Repo. His eyes were swollen and red, the purple smudges underneath even more prominent than usual. "Do you ever sleep?" I heard myself blurt out.

Repo gave me a tired smile. "Not often."

"Why not?" I asked, my legs carrying me closer to him despite better sense telling me to keep distance between us.

"Nightmares," he said with a shrug.

"Every night?"

To that I got a wry smile. "I stopped trying to sleep nightly about five years ago, honey."

There was a vulnerability about him in that moment that I felt tug at a similar feeling buried deep within me. It was underneath all the training, under all the determination I built up while lying alone in that panic room every night. It was something I had tried to squish, tried to pretend wasn't a part of me. But it was. And maybe I found it a little comforting that someone as put-together and strong as Repo also had a part of him that was softer, weaker, uncontrollable too.

"Is it..." I started, only to be interrupted by Duke.

"Early again, Ace? You make the rest of us look bad," he said, holding out the flashlight toward me and I took it. "Don't know how the fuck you look so rested so early in the morning. It's unnatural," he said, jerking his chin at Repo, then making his way back toward the compound.

I turned to watch him disappear for a long minute before Repo interrupted the silence. "Is it what?" he prompted.

I turned back, brows drawn together. "What? Oh, um... are the nightmares based on... real things?" I asked, never being the type to suffer from chronic nightmares. Since running from the Kozlovs, I had the occasional one that would wake me up freaked out, but I usually forgot all the details of the dream within minutes of waking.

"Yeah, real things," he told me, watching my face closely. "I haven't always been a good man, Maze."

"I find that hard to believe," I said because it was true. "Besides, everyone has done some shit in their lives that could keep us up at night if we harp on it."

"What have you done?" he asked. The question would have seemed invasive if he hadn't asked in a quiet, smooth voice.

I looked at my feet and let out a breath. "I've been really naive and gullible," I admitted.

"Come here," he said, leaning forward and snagging me at my hips, pulling me closer to the table and between his legs. He waited a minute for my gaze to rise to his. "Maybe you were those things once, but that isn't who you are."

The certainty in his tone made a bit of a weight lift from my shoulders. It hadn't occurred to me that I had been harboring a worry that it was something that was written all over me, like I wore my flaws as a badge for all to see despite how hard I had tried to make sure no one could ever call me those things again.

"Same goes for you, Repo," I said, my hands landing on his thighs.

"I've killed people, Maze."

"Was that supposed to shock me?" I asked, shrugging a shoulder. Quite frankly, I had walked into the compound expecting to find that every member of the gang was, at some time or another, a cold-blooded killer. K had sort-of told me as much. He said he wasn't sure about some of the small-time guys, but he knew for a fact that Reign, Cash, and Wolf had left piles of bodies in their wakes. Reign, mostly as preventative measures, eliminating snitches, taking down rival organizations. Cash, when ordered to in extreme situations. And Wolf, well, Wolf kind-of went bonkers every once in a while and committed some ridiculously violent murders. But he mostly seemed to kill assholes who deserved it.

So Repo admitting he'd killed people? It wasn't a surprise.

"It would shock normal people," he said, his fingers sinking into my hips in an almost possessive way that made my sex clench.

"Who ever claimed I was normal?"

"They killed my uncle," he admitted, still watching for my reaction.

"The people you killed?"

"Yeah. They wanted to overthrow my uncle's
business
so they killed him and whooped my ass."

"That's how you got this," I concluded, hand moving from his thigh, my fingertips tracing down the scar on his cheek.

"Yeah."

"Snakes and snitches," I guessed.

"Yeah, honey," he said, hands closing the rest of the distance between us, making my pelvis push against his.

"If they deserved it, I don't see why you have nightmares."

"Because they didn't deserve the way they died."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Maze... not."

My head tilted at the firmness of his tone. "I never had you pegged for the self-condemnation type."

"Don't usually do things I regret," he said, his hand moving up to stroke over my cheek.

I swallowed hard, trying to talk myself into stepping away from him. We were right in the middle of the yard. Anyone could see us if they happened outside for a smoke or some fresh air.

"I need to do my rounds." To that, Repo smirked a little evilly. "What?" I asked, brows drawing together.

"Yeah, when one of us takes the guard shift, we just plant our asses on the roof with a gun. You can see every inch of the fence from up there."

My mouth fell open in mock shock. "You bastards," I laughed, shaking my head.

"We gotta get our kicks somehow," he chuckled. "But you're right. Rounds need to be done," he said, but I didn't trust the look in his eye as he pushed me back a few steps and hopped off the table, taking the Maglite out of my hand and flicking it on before taking off toward the fence.

I paused for a moment before rushing to fall into step beside him, watching his profile as we walked. "Are you... doing the rounds with me?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding slightly.

"Um. Okay. But... why?"

"We need to talk."

Shit.

Shitshitshit.

We most definitely did
not
need to
talk.
What we needed was to move on and pretend that what happened never happened. It was better for both of us that way.

"I think we're all good on that front," I said, pointedly keeping my gaze ahead of us.

We walked that way for a long couple of minutes, each second that passed making me feel more and more like I was going to crawl out of my own skin. But then, nestled far from the compound in the back corner of the yard, Repo's hand closed around my bicep and turned me, pushing me up against the fence.

"We're not all good on that front," he countered my point from several minutes before.

"Repo..."

"No," he cut me off, putting two fingers against my lips to silence me. "Shush for a second, alright? We need to get some shit straight and if you keep trying to interrupt me, this is gonna take all night. Now, I think we both get that my job is to not allow you into the MC. By whatever means necessary. It sucks. It's not fair. But that's the way it is. I get that you're going to resent me for that. And I know it means it's going to be hard to trust..."

"Okay. Hold up," I said, brushing his hand away.

"No, listen."

"No, you listen..."

"Maze, I want to give this a shot," he said over my objection, effectively shutting me up.

"Give what a shot?"

"Whatever this is," he said, waving a hand between us.

"This is nothing. We had sex. That's not a big deal. We can be adults about it and move on."

"That's what you want? You want to move on?"

"Yes, that's..."

Then his lips were on mine, his hand going into the hair at the nape of my neck, curling in and pulling, as his teeth bit into my lip hard enough to bruise. On a groan, I reached out toward his sides, dragging him against me as he pressed me into the fence, tongue teasing mine until I let out a whimper. At the sound, he pulled back suddenly, his breath warm on my face as my eyes fluttered open.

"Sure about that?" he asked, lips quirked up on one side.

"That was low."

"But it proved my point, didn't it?"

"I believe the fact that we're obviously attracted to each other was
my
point, not yours," I countered with a small smile, my lips still tingly from the kiss.

"It's part mine too. We're attracted to each other. We did a pretty ace job on the fucking front. And on top of that, I like what you have to offer, Maze. I'd like to have a chance at receiving all that. When all this is done."

I was with him until the last part, when I felt myself straightening. "When all this is done... meaning when you send me packing," I observed as I used my hands that were still at the sides of his abs and pushed him back a foot.

"Maze..."

"Do you really think it's a good idea to try to build some kind of... relationship on your killing a dream of mine?"

"It's not personal, honey."

"I hate that phrase. It's personal to me."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. It was a ridiculous conversation to have. Because if Repo succeeded in kicking me out, which he seemed determined to do, there was no chance of us getting together in any capacity. Because if I lost the protection of The Henchmen MC, I was going to be relocated. Probably clear across the country. I wouldn't be able to keep in contact, not that even if I could it would make any difference. Long distance relationships were for college and temporary work assignments, not girls on the run from freaking Russian traffickers.

"Maze..."

I opened my eyes slowly. "You're telling me there's not a single chance of getting patched in here?"

Repo paused, raking a hand down the side of his face. "Yeah, that's what I'm telling you."

I tried to ignore the swirling, free fall sensation in my belly and reached for the front of his tee, pulling him forward. "In that case..." I said, pulling his lips down to mine.

I would ride it out, continue doing my grunt work, deal with whatever they wanted to throw at me, learn things if anything was offered that would be useful for my future, and I would enjoy every last stolen moment I could with Repo. Because, in the end, what did it matter if I was going to be out on my ass anyway? Soon, and there was no telling how soon, but soon, I would be relocating. So what was the use in denying myself something I wanted?

"Maze, we weren't done..." he started against my hungry, insistent lips.

"Yeah we were," I countered, my lips going to his neck as my hand drifted down his stomach and flattened over the crotch of his jeans where his cock was already hard and straining. My hands moved up the soft, worn material of his pants to his fly, quickly undoing it and reaching inside to stroke him, sliding my thumb over the head at each pass, until Repo made a low, growling sound in his throat and snagged me at the wrist, pulling my hand away.

Giving him a mischievous smile, I lowered myself down in front of him, using my free hand to free him and stroking down his cock to the hilt before leaning forward, head tilted up, eyes on him, I slowly took him into my mouth, using my tongue to tease the head before I took him deep. His deep blue eyes were intense on mine, the lids heavy. A muscle was ticking in his jaw as his hand released my wrist and moved to stroke the hair out of my face.

Encouraged, I ducked my head and worked him with my mouth, a little tentative at first, then faster, deeper, one hand stroking his cock as I sucked and the other stroking over his balls as his hand went to the crown of my head and coaxed me deeper and faster for a long couple of minutes. His quiet groans stirred the desire between my legs until I was wet and aching for fulfillment as well.

"Honey... alright... okay," he said, chuckling slightly as I fought him pulling me backward. I wanted to taste his release; I wanted to own his pleasure. He held me back from him by my hair. "I got one rule with sex, Maze."