Authors: Elaine Overton
That idiot! She shook her head, dropped the phone back in her pocket and entered the room. Stanley was asleep, and Ed was sitting in a chair beside the bed, his elbows braced on his knees and his face buried in his hands.
Amelia walked over to him. “I brought you a cup.” She offered the second cup of coffee to Ed.
“Thanks.” He said, sitting back in his chair. He glanced at Stanley. “I knew it was too good to be true.” His head turned to Amelia. “This sudden recovery just didn’t make sense. I was grateful for it, but I never thought it would last.”
Amelia quietly and slowly lowered herself into the chair next to his. This was the most open he’d been in a long time and she didn’t want to say or do anything that would cause him to close up again. She said nothing. Just waited hoping he would say more.
“Sometimes, I feel like everybody who comes into my life…they’re all just temporary people. Like I shouldn’t get close to any of them because they won’t last. Nothing ever last.” He took a sip of his coffee staring at Stanley over the rim of the cup. “Like I told him, love is a letdown.”
Amelia sat beside him as still as a statue. So much she wanted to say, but she was afraid if she did he would stop talking. So, she waited and listened.
“Marriage is probably the biggest letdown of all,” he continued. “Haven’t met a woman worth it yet.”
Amelia bit her lip to stifle the moan as she took that blow to the stomach.
His attention was still completely focused on Stanley, as if he had either forgotten who he was talking to, or forgotten she was there all together.
She stood quickly, never noticing her phone had fallen out of her pocket, rushed into the bathroom and closed the door just as the water poured from her eyes.
Amelia hadn’t realized until he said those words just how much she wanted to marry him. Otherwise, the cavalier statement should not have cut so deep. The desperate part of her heart, the part that didn’t care that he didn’t want her, that part said that she should just ignore the comments. He was a man in pain. He probably didn’t even realized what he said, and certainly he didn’t mean it.
The more rational part of her, the part that had to finally explain to her that she would never be a famous actress, that part said that this was just the finale of the past several weeks. This was that nagging something she could never put her finger on. She was no better off than Pepper, giving her heart and soul to a man who had no intention of ever being more than her lover.
“Haven’t met a woman worth it yet.”
Once she was able to pull herself together she opened the bathroom door to find Ed holding her phone and reading the message on the screen. She gasped to realize he must be reading the message from Terry.
His eyes came up to meet hers. “Lexie’s Locker Room Escapade?” He huffed. “Should’ve known.”
Her surprise turned to anger. “Should’ve known what?!”
He shrugged. “Nothing.” He handed the phone back to her.
“I know what you’re thinking and you’re dead wrong!”
He sat back in his chair, an eyebrow raised in silent challenge.
“I never did porn. This is just some of Terry’s crap.”
“Okay.”
He turned his attention back to Stanley.
“That’s all? Okay?”
“What do you want me to say Amelia?” His dark eyes flashed to her face again, and the burning anger there belied his words. “I really don’t give a damn either way.”
“I guess when it comes down to it, that’s really the whole problem.” She sighed and reaching down beside her chair picked up her purse. She’d taken all the rejection she could stomach.
She glanced at Stanley who was still sound asleep. She would come back and see him tomorrow when he was awake again. There was obviously nothing else here for her. She turned and headed out of the hospital room, some tiny part of her still harboring the hope that Ed would call her back, but he never did.
Ed watched her leave, fighting the urge to beg her to stay. He knew it was better this way. She needed to know that no matter how much he wanted her, he had no intention of marrying, anyone, ever.
A
fter two nights of not being able to sleep, Amelia was stretched out on her makeshift bed watching an episode of Hollywood Husbands and just starting to doze off when Pepper entered from the bedroom and handed her a note.
Amelia glared up at the younger woman, then down at her niece or nephew in Pepper’s increasingly round belly and bit back the scathing comment that was right there on the tip of her tongue. She had had about all she could take of her brother, his girlfriend and their nonsense.
Turned out Pepper’s
labor
had been nothing more than Braxton-Hicks contractions and by the time Amelia reached the hospital she’d already been discharged and sent home.
After her argument with Ed and taking two buses to get across town only to have to take two more buses to get home when a simple phone call could’ve saved her the grief, Amelia arrived back at the apartment in high dungeon and lit into both of them! And she hadn’t spoken to either since.
Today the couple was running in circles around the tiny three room apartment having the same old argument they had almost every day. Pepper insisting that they marry before the baby was born, and Byron finding every excuse under the sun to avoid that outcome. Camping out on their couch put Amelia right smack dab in the middle of the war zone, and she was just about at the end of her patience with it all when Byron had finally stormed out an hour ago. Now, when it seemed she was finally going to be able to get some rest here was Pepper and her note.
Amelia unfolded the torn piece of paper, read then sighed. “What the hell is this?”
Pepper folded her arms over her rotund midsection, her lips pushed out in a pout. “I’m no longer talking to your brother, so I need
you
to tell
him
what is on the note.”
Amelia sat up on the couch. “Are you kidding me?”
“I’m dead serious.”
“Pepper, I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept in two days and I truly do not have the patience for your foolishness right now!”
With lightening swiftness Pepper’s expression turned from anger and determination to hurt and bafflement as her large brown eyes filled with water. “Why do you hate me?”
Oh hell.
“I don’t hate you, Pepper.” Amelia scooted to one side to make room on the couch and Pepper plopped down beside her.
“It’s just I’ve got a lot on my mind right now, you know? Earlier today when I visited Stanley I can see he’s getting worse, and I have
no idea
of where my relationship with Ed stands. I don’t have a job or a place to stay and it’s just all really getting to be too much! I’ve got too many problems of my own. So, I really don’t want to get involved in your fight with Byron.”
“But I already told him I wasn’t talking to him, so I can’t tell him what I want to say now!”
Amelia looked back at the note still open in her hand and read: “
You have one week to marry me or I’m leaving
.” She handed the note back to Pepper. “You don’t actually expect this to work, do you? I mean, you can’t give a guy that kind of ultimatum and expect him to come running down the aisle. Especially a guy like Byron.”
“What do you mean especially a guy like Byron?”
“I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Pepper, but the truth is some men just aren’t going to marry, no matter what you do, or say or feel for them. They just don’t want to be tied down.”
“And you think Byron’s that kind of guy?” Pepper’s eyes widened as if this was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard.
Amelia simply shrugged, not wanting to hurt the girl but as far as she was concerned the round belly, empty ring finger and threatening note spoke for themselves.
“Oh no, Amelia, you got it all wrong.” She rocked back and forth and back until she could push herself up from the low couch. “Byron
wants
to be married.”
Amelia watched as she waddled over to the kitchen and took a box of mini chocolate chip cookies off the top of the refrigerator and waddled back to the living room.
Although Byron and Pepper did seem to fit together in their own dysfunctional way she knew her brother was never going to marry the girl. And she personally knew all too well the pain of finally realizing you’ll never marry the man you love.
Even though it pained her to do so, she suddenly felt she had to make the girl see the truth. “Then why hasn’t he?”
“Because he’s scared.”
“Scared?” Amelia asked, trying hard to hide her disbelieve. The poor girl was more delusional than she realized. “Of what?”
“Failing as a husband.” Pepper nodded vigorously, as she plopped back down on the couch and began chopping on a cookie.
Amelia simply stared…and stared. “What are you talking about?”
Pepper gently placed the box on the couch behind her, reached over and took Amelia’s hand in hers. Something about the expression on her face made Amelia feel like some kind of simpleton.
“You’re right.
Some men
don’t marry because they just don’t want to, but that’s not my Byron. Look around here, Amelia.” She stretched out her arm and gestured to the apartment. “Look at all he’s given me.”
Amelia wondered what Pepper saw when she looked around her living room, because all Amelia saw was a battered, faux wood entertainment center which contained a hand full of thrift store knick-knacks, a second hand twenty six inch television, and the lumpy beige couch she was currently calling home.
“He’s given me a home, and that’s proof enough that he loves me.” Pepper’s soft smile and accepting attitude put Amelia in the mind of an old seventies movie about a group of mind controlled housewives. And for reasons even Amelia could not explain, Pepper’s defense of her brother’s lack of commitment was really,
really
starting to piss her off.
She jumped to her feet. “Don’t you get it, Pepper?! He doesn’t love you! Not enough! It can’t be enough if you tell him you love him and he just shuts down!” The image of Ed’s beautiful face flashed in front of her and she began pacing.
“But he doesn’t shut down—” Pepper tried to protest, but Amelia continued as if she hadn’t said a word.
“Maybe he doesn’t think you’re good enough to marry, maybe he wants someone like that mean ass nurse! Maybe he’ll marry her! And they’ll live happily ever after.—
Mister and Misses Jackass, M.D.!
”
“Wha…?” Pepper was staring up at her with a strangely befuddled expression. “Amelia, what are you—”
“But no matter how much you love him, it will never be enough! It’s never going to happen! You need to face the truth and get on with your life!” She spun around to see Pepper watching her with wide eyes and open mouth from the couch, and her brother watching her with almost the exact same expression from the doorway.
“Um,… am I interrupting something?” Byron asked tossing his keys on top of the entertainment center.
“Byron! You’re back!” Pepper noticing him for the first time began her rocking routine to get up. But before she could get it going, Byron was there taking her hand and gently lifting her to her feet.
Amelia watched as the couple hugged as if they had been apart a month, Pepper’s large belly making the embrace sweetly awkward.
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier.” Byron said quietly.
Pepper smiled up at him before placing a gently kiss on his neck. “I know.”
Amelia found herself unable to look away as Byron hugged his girlfriend to his chest once more. The affectionate gesture was in direct contrast to the blood and dagger glare he was giving her. “Pep, can you go in the bedroom and wait for me, I need to talk to Amelia in private.”
Pepper glanced back at Amelia with a sorrowful expression before waddling away. As soon as the bedroom door closed Byron’s glare turned murderous.
“What the hell did I just walk in on?! Who are you to tell Pep that I don’t love her?! And to leave me?!”
For the first time since returning to Detroit, Amelia saw the true man her brother had become. Not the bumbling idiot trying to fake his way through marriage vows, not the ridiculously dressed clown or overgrown teenager she’d come to think of him as. But a man, full and grown and ready to kill to defend his growing family.
She sat down on the couch with her hands over her face trying desperately to stop the tears forming in her eyes. “Why doesn’t he want me, Bryon? How can he just turn me away like I meant nothing to him.” The tears were warping her words, but she was powerless to stop it.
Byron sat down beside her, but said nothing and so she continued.
“I don’t mean to be selfish. I know he’s worried about Stanley. So am I. But shouldn’t that bring us closer together? Not push us apart.” She glanced over at Byron and found him staring at a spot on the floor.
The uncomfortable tension in his body was obvious. She swiped at her wet face with the back of her hand. “It’s okay, go be with Pepper. I’ll be fine.”
His eyes snapped to hers with hopeful anticipation. “You sure?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I know you mean well, but you’re kinda useless in this type of situation.”
He stood and stared down at her for several seconds before shrugging his shoulders. “I just don’t know what to say. I mean, I know what I
think
. But what you’re saying doesn’t go with that.”
She looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t speak for Ed, but for me…it’s hard for me to tell Pep how I feel. And for the record, I do love her. I’m just afraid that if we get married, what if…what if I lose my job or something. Then she’s stuck with me. You know?”
Amelia stared up at her brother in amazement. Was it possible that Pepper knew what she was talking about? That Byron’s whole problem with commitment was some kind of fear of failure?
“But don’t you get it, Byron? She doesn’t care about any of that stuff. For her getting married means you’re in it for the long haul. Look at it from her point of view…she has a baby on the way. She just wants some kind of assurance that good or bad you’re in this together.”