Removing the Mask (7 page)

“Ken and I.” I correct him without thinking and ignore the weird look he gives me. 

She starts to shake her head before nodding. “Yeah, okay.” She hugs Jimmy before coming and kissing my cheek. “I still need to get changed. Jim, you know what I usually have.”

I wait till she’s left the room, before voicing my thoughts. “She looks absolutely, shattered! What has she been doing all afternoon?” I help Jimmy gather all the paper and books strewn across the sofa and coffee table.

“There are millions of things I could guess from, either way, she’s got a lot on her plate.” I don’t know whether he knows about our argument. Guilty or innocent, he’s hit the nail on the head.

Jimmy calls in the order before we leave, so it
’s ready by the time we get there. The walk is nice; Jimmy doesn’t stop mucking around the whole way there and back. By the time we get back, I feel light, like I’ve let off a load of steam.

We don’t eat in the kitchen like I thought we would. Instead we camp out in the living room, with the telly on and Chinese containers littering the coffee table.

Mum always made us eat in the dining room; she takes pride in the house. The furnishings all match in colour and style.

You look at Bessie’s house from the outside, and instantly think it’s going to be the same but when you walk through the door, you see the dented side tables and puzzles mounted on the walls.

What Bessie and I don’t eat, Jimmy clears easily. He’s like a hoover, sucking up all the food and looking completely unaffected by the amount he’s ingested. 

The empty cartons tumble into the bin. The only evidence of the meal is the smell still lingering in the air, and the slightly greasy taste clinging to my tongue.

“Bessie, can you show me what room is mine? I want to pack away what we did bring with us.”
She ‘mhmms’ in the back of her throat as she takes a sip of her coffee before pointing a finger at Jimmy; who’s slowly trying to creep out the room.

“Freeze buster! Can you go and get Ken’s suitcase out the boot of the car?”

Jimmy sighs and nods before disappearing down the hall.  

“I wasn’t entirely sure how to design your bedroom, though I knew you wouldn’t want pink, and I couldn’t leave it the way it was because your living here now and I wanted it to be nice.” She leads the way up the polished stairs, and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to run down them in socks.

“Try not to slip when going up and down the stairs, a friend of mine is cleaning the rug.” She glances at me like she knows what I was thinking.

The second floor is pretty plain; I spot a few bedrooms and a bathroom. Most of the doors are shut leaving my imagination to go wild. Instead of leading me to one of these doors, she takes me up the other flight of stairs. There are fewer doors, leaving me to think that the rooms are bigger. She takes me to the door that is right at the end, the very last door.

Like all the other doors it’s polished oak with a polished door knob. The metal seems to mould to my hand as I turn the orb. A sense of déjà vu sweeps through me as I listen to the click before swinging the door open on its silent hinges.  

“At first I thought about a dark blue and then light blue with it. But, it’s not really you and well, it might look a little like a guy’s room. Then, a friend thought of this idea and well, I thought it fit nicely.”

I shake my head as I turn, taking in the walls and mismatch furniture. “You did all of this? For me?” My gaze lands on myself as I look into the mirror, which is the door to the built in wardrobes.

“No I have another niece moving in; I’m just doing this to make you jealous. Did it work?” Smiling at her sarcastic remark, I admire the bold, brown horizontal line that slashes through the plain maroon walls. “How did you do this in a few days?”

“All we did is paint and shuffle furniture around. I went and bought the bed spread but the rest is a mixture of the other rooms.” She walks over to the bed and smoothes out a phantom crease.

“I- You didn’t have to do all of this. I would have been happy sleeping on a sofa,” I sink onto the bottom of the bed with my hands in my lap. “You’re giving me a do over, which I’m really grateful for. You know what happened and what I’ve done and you know I can be a little shit sometimes yet you’ve still done it and not a lot people wouldn’t have a-” I take a deep breath as a wave of emotion hits me when I realise how much trouble she’s going through for me. “-and I really, really, really appreciate it.” I say with a soft smile.  

She sits down and
envelops me in a hug. I breathe in and smell her raspberry conditioner and the fabric softener scent that still hangs to her baggy long sleeved t-shirt.

“You have got nothing to be thankful for, I would do this again in a heartbeat because you’re my family, you’re my niece and I love you and all your little shit glory.” She rubs my back as I laugh and pulls back to look me in the eyes. “I better not be hearing you putting yourself down again, okay McKenzie?”

I nod, a smile curing my lips. “Okay.”

“Can I come in now?”

Startling, I turn my head to look at Jimmy as he pokes his head round the doorway.

“How long have you been standing there?” I ask as embarrassed as I walk over to grab one of the suitcases out his hands.

“Let’s just say that, I’ve been standing here long enough.”

Avoiding his gaze for the moment, I dump my suitcase on the bed before unzipping it. The mattress dips as Jimmy places the other suitcase on the bed before going to slouch on the sofa in the corner, where the TV is mounted on the wall.

Standing up, Bessie stretches before squeezing my shoulder as she walks to the door. “Don’t stay up too late Jimmy. Ken, I’m taking you to the bakery tomorrow where you’re going to be working, is that alright with you?” Ignoring the slight hint of sarcasm, I nod without looking at her.

“Good. Good night you two.”

“Night.” We say in sync.

I cast a look at Jimmy to find him watching me patiently. “What do you want?”  I ask as I start hanging hoodies up in the wardrobe.

“When you’ve done what you want to do, come to my room there’s something I want to show you.” With that, he hops up and saunters out the room.

A few folded jumpers later, the silence is starting to irritate me. Sighing, I chuck the tank top in my hand on the bed before leaving to find Jimmy. Problem is though; I don’t know which room is his. I search the rooms on the floor I’m on, only to find empty spare bedrooms and bathrooms.

Halfway down the stairs I hear a familiar sound, a very familiar sound. I walk halfway down the hall and peek into the room I’m more than certain is Jimmy’s, unless Bessie’s into gaming.  

Truth be told, the PS3 menu is sitting proudly on the large flat screen TV. But Jimmy’s attention isn’t on the TV; it’s focused fully on the laptop sitting on his desk. His fingers move like lightning across the keyboard. I can make out the layout of Skype on the screen.

“Hey.”

He startles, spinning quickly to face me. He slumps back on the balls of his feet before turning back to the laptop. “You scared the living daylights out of me.”

“I can see. What’re you doing for god’s sake?” I walk up beside him and look at the screen.

I giggle, “Oh.” I look at the guy’s profile picture and find myself looking closer to get a better look. “Oh my god,”
it’s him.
I manage to keep the last part in my head. Though a lot of good that’s going to do because at some point I’m actually going to come face to face with him because it’s not like I can avoid him.

“-anything wrong with that!” Jimmy rushes out.

I look at Jimmy confused, “what? Er never mind. Let’s just play.”

“You alright? You’ve gone a bit weird?” His gaze switches between the picture and me.

“Only a bit?” I ask as I take a seat in one of the gamer chairs in front of the TV. “I’m fine; I came here to beat your butt not to be interrogated.”

“Have you ever played before?” The chair squeaks as he sits down.

“Yeah. What’re we playing?” 

***

“Don’t rush… don’t press down too much…
Careful!”

“I am being careful! It’s hard!” I say defensively.
It’s even harder with you barking orders in my ear!

I reposition the piping bag in my hands and finished the swirl on top of the cupcake. 

“It’s terrible.” I say as I place the piping bag on the counter.

“I wouldn’t say that. Love, no matter what it looks like, it still tastes the same.” She turns away from me to go to the front of the bakery, “you just
really
need to work on your technique.”

My mouth goes slack at her polite way of insulting me, if you can call it that. “Practice makes perfect, huh?” I ask to her back before turning back to the poorly dressed cupcake.

“Exactly!”

Balancing the cupcake on my palm, I examine the lopsided buttercream swirl. It’s dented from where I bumped it with the nozzle of the piping bag and in places is thicker from where I added more pressure.

I shake chocolate shavings over the top before trying to cover the smudge with a chocolate curl. I place it back in its spot on the tray before picking up another. This is going to be a very long afternoon.

Twenty cupcakes, numerous pastries, one batch of ginger bread men and sixteen batches of icing later, I’m walking out the bakery with my phone in hand. Bessie said this morning that she’d come pick me up when I’d finished, yet looking around, there’s no Range Rover to be seen and dialling her number gives me nothing but the knowledge that her phone contract is with O2.   

Before I can slip my phone back in my pocket, it rings. I answer it without looking at the screen as it’s obviously Bessie calling me back. With the phone to my ear, I start my way down the street.

“You said you’d come pick me up.”

“No I didn’t.” The amused voice causes me to freeze. That voice. I hesitate before checking the caller ID, just to make sure I’m not imagining this.

“Wrong person. I’m surprised you’re calling me, after all, it’s been, what? Six months!” I spit out as I side step a man walking a golden retriever; he gives me a wary look but looks away when I meet his gaze.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve been busy!” I hear noise in the background and then her excusing herself.

“Don’t give me busy! You have no idea what’s been going on the last couple of months for me, you skipped out. Come on Poppy, you were my best mate, my only mate. How do you think I felt when my only mate stopped returning my calls?” I spot the Bessie pulling over to the side of the road up the street and speed up my pace to keep her from waiting.

“I thought if I stopped, you’d come out your shell and it’d force you to make another friend or two. I done it bec-”

“Out my shell? I’m not shy! Jeez, you make me sound weak.”

“You’re not weak; you couldn’t be weak even if you tried. Look, I’m just saying that you became very dependent on me and that you became more of a loner. I wanted to see if you could open up a bit more, trust someone for once. But no, that didn’t work. Instead I get a phone call from Uncle Archie; you got your butt kicked out of school. Seriously Missy? Expelled? What the hell happened? Where’s the girl who was doing well in school and yeah, okay didn’t have any friends yet managed to get along with everyone?”     

“That girl got lonely! That girl got sick and tired of the pressure being put her by her own mum! That girl evolved to survive!” With a thick throat, I open the car door and climb in. My finger acts on its own and ends the call. I close my eyes to avoid looking at Bessie, not wanting her to see tears in my eyes.   

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I barely give her a glance before shoving my earphone in. Her face is a mask of concern, and a softness that makes a part of me want to open up. But that part isn’t as big as the part that wants me to burrow down into my writing.

***

Before Bessie can corner me and start the interrogation, I run straight up the two flights of stairs before locking myself in my room.

“I’m not hiding; I’m giving myself time to think.” I tell myself, though I’m not sure I even believe it.

My eyes travel to the bed where the suitcases still sit.
My stuff!
Is it down stairs? Did he bring it today?  Probably not, he teaches today. Doesn’t particularly matter, it’s not like I need anything, I’ve got enough clothes here and I’m not desperate for my stuff, though at some point I will need it.

I spend the next hour or so going through my clothes and putting them away before finally venturing out my room.

Downstairs, I find Bessie’s at the sink in the kitchen washing vegetables and sit down at the table waiting for her to notice me.

“Are you alright?” She keeps her back to me, but her voice expresses her concern.

“Yeah, Poppy peed me off, that’s all.” I snatch an apple from the fruit bowl and take a bite into it. I listen to the crunch before I actually taste the sweet and slightly bitter concoction.

“Do you always cry when you’re angry?” After turning the running water off, she turns round and settles back against the counter with her arms crossed. Her eyebrow’s raised.

“No.”

“Then why were you crying?” She watches me and I squirm under her gaze.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” It’s the best I can do right now; I’m not ready to have a real heart to heart with her yet. Maybe another day, but not tonight.

She turns back to the various vegetables and turns the water back on. “I need you to go get the eggs, and I think you’ve forgotten about the puppies in the other room. There’s a basket in the corner under the table that you can put them in.”

“The puppies?”

“No! The eggs!” She gives me a disbelieving look over her shoulder.

With a laugh, I step outside. The bite in the air brings me to run all the way down to the chicken coop. The apple core is discarded into mud as I grab the goods before running back again.

Bessie’s packing away the veggies when I stumble through the back door but quickly takes the basket away from me, before going back to her veggies.

“We’re going to have company in a bit; Jimmy’s bringing the mob home with him, I guess this is your chance to meet them.”

“Oh great.” The phone rings before Bessie has the chance to question my sarcasm. While she answers the screaming phone, I wander into the living room before going into the adjoining room where I’m met with a dodgy smell and what seems like four ADHD puppies. I let them out into the living room and sit down on the rug that covers the hard wood floor to fuss them. 

“Kenzie, I believe we have a problem,” Bessie steps into the room, her face is slightly pale and her eyes are little too wide.