REMEMBER ME: GODS OF CHAOS MC (11 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Grace

I never expected Ryder to lay down with me and not have sex with me. I wanted it, but my hint about being exhausted was taken literally, instead of my failed attempt at hurrying up the process.  When he lay down behind me, spooning me, completely dressed, except for his boots, I almost laughed.

Disappointment washed over me.  I had wanted the distraction, but I had also been hoping I would get a chance to see what was under that cut.  I still had
n’
t seen him without it, not once.  I imagined myself turning around and sliding it from his shoulders, and then stripping off everything else that was in my way.   I did
n’
t do it, though.

Instead, I settled in, his arms deliciously enveloping my torso, his warmth and strength seeping into that sleeping, needy part of me that I was desperately trying to keep pushed down deep.  We laid there quietly holding each other, our breathing falling in rhythm together, nothing but the sound of a distant guitar and an old, familiar voice in the room as we drifted off to sleep in the stillness of the night.

A few hours later, I woke up haunted by a dream I had had, but as soon as I opened my eyes it was gone.  It was something I needed.  Something important.  A spark of a memory, but it quickly retreated to the dark, inaccessibly dusty corners of my mind, and I could
n’
t reach it. 

Moaning in frustration, I arched my back.  And then I felt it.  Ryder.  Ryde
r’
s massive erection.  I could hear him sleeping still, his breath steadily falling in the dark.  In the few hours I had been asleep, he had only wrapped himself even tighter around me.  His arms clung to me tightly, and his muscular blue-jean clad thigh was now slung over mine. He slept - deeply, peacefully.  And yet, he was hard as a rock.

I could
n’
t take it anymore.  His gentleness.  His huge fucking heart.  The way he looked at me when he knew I was in pain.  My heart burst with emotion, and I knew I couldn't wait any longer.  I needed him.  I needed that human connection, to feel like, if only for a moment, I belonged with someone.  But not just anyone - him. 

He was all I had.

And I wanted all of him.

I reached behind me, grabbing his hardness, gasping at the size of him.  He was hot, throbbing, and now that my hand was squeezing him, he was beginning to moan in his sleep.  I grinned in the dark.  Gripped harder.  Gentle, but firm.  With intention.

His fingers tightened around my chest, finding the flesh, squeezing, his brain waking up with the rest of his body.  He pressed his entire frame against me, and I rolled over, facing him, and found his lips waiting, open, ready for mine.

We melted together in a frenzy of caresses, our mouths working together to bring us closer.  But it was still not close enough.  I let go of his cock, my hands reaching up and fingering the edge of his cut, memorizing the feel of the leather under my fingertips, before I slid it over his chiseled shoulders, just as I had imagined so many times.

Fingers found buttons, shirts and jeans slid over our skin and pushed away, all in a fury of purposeful gestures.  Skin bare, we began the dance all over again.  His skin was smooth, tightly stretched over his rippling muscles, and my hands slid over every inch of him, committing every curve and crevice to memory.  The need to remember every detail of this night, every detail of him, was undeniably present, a constant undercurrent of yearning that sang low and steady in my gut. 

He rolled on top of me, his kisses urgent, searching, demanding.  His lips pressed into mine firmly, his tongue slipping deep into me, tangling with mine sensuously.  My hands flew over his velvety skin, pulling him closer to me, wrapping my legs around him tightly.

He sank into me easily, smoothly, firmly.  I moaned, as he wrapped his arms around me, his mouth glued to mine, and he began to move inside me.  Slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, he pressed forward, his kisses turning deeply tender as we moved together, our bodies dancing together in a perfect partnership, our only shared goal of connection deliciously met in the darkness. 

Excitement flowed from my body, soaking him as he pushed into me, over and over.  Faster, he fucked into me, his moans turning to groans as he began to thrust harder and harder, his need quickening with his breath as he tore his mouth from mine.  His lips first found my neck, then he quickly clasped his lips around my hardened nipple.

I sunk my fingers in his hair, pulling his head into my chest, my hips flying up to meet his every thrust, as I cried out in ecstasy.  I clenched around his cock, the pleasure turning to a delicious, flashing pain and then turning to great waves of bliss as I dug my fingers into his back.  His mouth found mine again, as he hammered into me harder and harder, his cock swelling inside me, searing me with his hot wetness. 

He kissed me even deeper as he came, his moans filling my mouth as his thrusts slowed, our bodies slick, spent, satiated.  He fell next to me, and we continued to hold onto each other tightly, neither of us willing to part as we regained our breath. 

I laid my head on his shoulder, as he caressed my hair, his lips brushing against my forehead as we drifted back to sleep together.

***

The house I stood in front of was tiny. Dirty, white, a broken window by the front door.  A loud air-conditioner was sticking out of the bottom half of the window, dripping a wet river of condensation onto the broken concrete porch and snaking across and over the edge of it. I opened the torn screen door in front of me and stepped over the threshold.  The paint-chipped wooden front door was thrown open.  Dark and cavelike, the edges of the tiny space were cramped with old furniture and books and clutter.

I followed the sound of a man singing.  Twangy, country, familiar.  A guitar, a stomping foot.  I rounded the corner of a tiny, dark hall and entered a bedroom.

A man sat on a bed. He smiled at me, a guitar in his lap as he gestured for me to sit down next to him while he continued singing.

“
Remember me, when the candlelights are gleamin
g
…

Remember me, at the close of a long, long da
y
…

and it would be so sweet, when all alone,
I’
m dreamin
g
…

just to know that you still remember m
e
…”

I clapped my tiny hands, bouncing up and down on the bed, a huge smile spread across my face.

“
More, Daddy, more
!”
I pleaded with him.  He reached over, tucking a strand of stringy blonde hair behind my ear. 

“
You like that one, do
n’
t you, baby
?
”
 
he asked, his gentle eyes full of love. 

“
Yes
!”
I replied
.“
I
t’
s my favorite Willie Nelson song
!
”

“
Okay, okay,
I’
ll sing it one more time, just for you
,”
he said, his strong voice rising again as he sang to me.

***

When I woke up, the sun was streaming in through Ryde
r’
s window.  I knew I had remembered something in my dream.  It was a strong memory, but I was
n’
t sure what to make of it.  It was foggy.  So vague and almost impossible to fully recall. 

I lay in bed, my eyes closed, trying to touch it again, to just grasp at a small thread to find a way to pull it back, but it was too far away.  If there was anything I had learned in the last few days, it was that trying hard to remember something did
n’
t work.  It either came back on its own or it did
n’
t.  I let it go, hoping it would do just that.

Ryder was still asleep, and the feel of his bare skin against mine was electric.  I felt like a cat rubbing against him, wantonly slipping against him for the sheer selfish pleasure of it.  I watched him slowly wake up, the sunlight providing a view I did
n’
t get to enjoy in the dark last night.

He was even more handsome in the early morning, if that was even possible.  He was all man - rugged, rough, disheveled, incredibly sexy.  Dark stubble shadowed his strong jaw and I rubbed against it, the gruff texture of his face scratching me deliciously.  I wanted to stay in bed with him all day long.

Unfortunately, I could
n’
t.  And I knew if we got started again this morning, we would never stop.  And I would never figure out who I was. 

I needed to know, no matter how easy it was to lose myself in Ryde
r’
s arms.

I untangled my naked body from his limbs, and he moaned in protest.  I was hoping not to wake him up, but I had.  I looked over my shoulder at him as I sat on the edge of the bed.  He opened his eyes, and smiled a lazy, morning smile that would have melted the panties off of me if was wearing any. 

How could any one man possess that much raw sexuality?

I wrapped the sheet loosely around my front. My eyes trailed down to his naked, hard cock and then back to his smile.  I leaned down, kissed his lips, and turned to walk away.

“I’
m going to shower, you can join me if yo
u’
d like
,”
I said, taking the sheet with me, even though I knew my back was exposed.

“
Well, look at that
!”
he exclaimed as I turned around.

“
What
?”
I stopped, turning back to face him.

“
Yo
u’
ve got a tattoo
!”
he said.
 “
On your back
.
”

“
What
!”
I exclaimed, trying to turn around to see my back.  I could
n’
t see a thing.
 “
No way
!
”

“
Here, come here
,”
he said
,“
let me see it
.
”

I walked over to him, my heart racing.  I had
n’
t noticed anything yesterday, but I had
n’
t looked at my back at all.  I was shocked.

“
What is it? I ca
n’
t see it
,”
I said, growing frustrated and frantic.

“
Here just sit down
,”
he said.  I sat on the bed as he removed the sheet, letting it fall around me, my breasts bare, my nipples hardening in the cold, morning air. 

“
Oh, yes, ye
s…
this tells us everything.  Mmm-hmm, oh, my
,”
he murmured.

“
What! What does it say
?
”
 
Trying to yank my head around again to see it. No matter how hard I tried, I could
n’
t see a thing.
 “
Do you have a mirror in this place
?
”

“
Calm down, calm down,
I’
ll read it to you
,”
he said.

“
Read it? What the hell
?
”
 
I was growing more anxious by the second.  What could it possibly say?

Ryde
r’
s fingers traced a line on the small of my back as he spoke.