Remember Love (2 page)

"Alec
Munroe? Wow, it’s been forever." Sharon broke into a rare grin, no doubt
prompted by memories of a happier time in her life.

"Hey,
Sharon. How are you?" Alec shifted toward her, and she flinched.

Katrina frowned.

Sharon
straightened, and Katrina wondered if she’d imagined her friend’s cringe. "I
have three little ones at home now. You’re here for the reunion?"

"Among other
things." Alec’s gaze flicked over Katrina.

An erratic beat
pounded at the base of her skull. Alec needed to leave now, before Sharon
mentioned Joey. "I think Alec is leaving."

His face
tightened at her tone. "Kicking me out of your shop, Katrina? That’s real
Christian of you and exactly what I'd expect."

Cheeks burning,
she looked away. She couldn’t blame him for the hurt she saw in his eyes. The
girl he’d known had been both selfish and self-righteous. 

"I'm sorry."
For more than he knew. But it didn't excuse his part in this. She wasn't the
only one who'd been selfish. Biting back her anguish, she hurled him a hard
stare. "You shouldn't have sent back my letters."

For a second, his
face changed. The slightest flicker in the muscles of his forehead before his
jaw hardened. Had that been surprise? She searched his features, allowing
herself to drink in more than she should. Just one long look before he left and
she never saw him again.

"Maybe I
should head to the office," Sharon said, her soft voice sliding between
their tension and interrupting Katrina's perusal. Sharon held out the bank
receipt she'd been holding.

"You're
fine." Blinking, Katrina took the paper and stepped to the front door. She
opened it. "Alec is on his way out."

He moved forward,
as if to leave, but before walking through the door, he stopped. His gaze bore
into her and she couldn't find the will to look away. The scent of his cologne
engulfed her, tempted her. "We need to talk, Kitty. Have dinner with me."

He stood in front
of her, handsome, intent, but the only thing Katrina could feel was acid fear
burning in her chest.

Soon enough, he’d
find out about Joey. When he did, he would loathe her. Because keeping Joey
from him had been more than unchristian. It had been cruel and selfish. Now
Joey was gone and she could never make things right.

For anyone.

Throat burning
with unshed tears, she looked away from Alec's scrutiny. "I don’t think
dinner is a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow at the reunion." 

His hand came up
and touched her cheek so quickly she didn’t have time to move away. His fingers
were warm, more gentle than she expected. The touch pulled her into the past,
reminded her of their shared history.

And their shared
loss.

Her shoulders
slumped.

"Don’t look
so sad," he said quietly. "I might see you before then."

CHAPTER
TWO

The door jingled
as Alec slipped out, dark hair gleaming in the afternoon sun.

"Alec is
looking well." Sharon walked over to where Katrina stood and peered out
the window, watching the motorcycle disappear down Main Street. She sniffed. "Smells
good."

"He still
wears Cool Water," Katrina said, absentmindedly straightening the books on
the shelf beside the window.

"You
remember his cologne?"

"He’s going
to hate me."

Sharon placed her
hand on Katrina’s shoulder and squeezed. "What happened to Joey was never
your fault. It's surprising that he's coming to the reunion but never showed
for the funeral."

Katrina gently
pulled away, once again reminded of the depths of her guilt and the extent of
her lies. There was no way to escape the consequences of what she'd done.

Your sins will
find you out
. Wasn't that what God promised? Crackling filled the air and
she looked down. She'd crumpled the receipt.

Blinking back
tears, she pressed the paper flat against her leg, smoothing and pulling at it.

"Thanks for
running to the bank." She offered Sharon a small smile. "You can go
home now, if you want."

"You sure? I
can help straighten—"

"Is Steve
home?"

"He has
night shift tonight."

"That's good."
At least Sharon would get a break from her husband’s constant bad mood. "Are
you coming tomorrow to the reunion dinner?"

"I'm
planning on it." Uncertainty crept over Sharon's features.

"Rachel and
I will save you a seat."

Sharon said
good-bye and once she was gone Katrina closed up the store and headed home. The
house greeted her with silent darkness. She flipped on the kitchen light and
slouched against the wall. Drained. She wanted to sink into the yellowed
linoleum and never rise again.

Deep inside, she
wished God had taken her too. Snatched her as easily as he had her only son.
Yet here she remained, her stomach demanding to be fed, her heart pumping, her
lungs filling steady as the sunrise. She moved away from the wall and dropped
her purse on the cracked counter. Today had been a hard day, harder than most,
and coming home was a bitter tonic.

She still
expected Joey’s smiling face to greet her, the sound of his little footsteps to
trail behind her.

She rummaged
through a cupboard until she found a packet of Earl Grey. Then a coffee cup,
which she filled with water. While it heated, she massaged her temples. The
microwave beeped and she took out the cup and dunked the tea in to steep. When
it was done she picked up the mug, studying the happy smiles of Simba and
Mufasa.

Mom, Joey and she
had bought the cup on their one and only trip to Disney World. She traced the
logo at the bottom of the cup with the edge of her thumb. The day had been warm
for November, more humid than usual, and their shirts had been sweat-soaked by
noon. It hadn’t mattered. Pure happiness was all she remembered when she
thought of then, and she was thankful God had given them that one, special day
to have for always.

She brought her
tea to the simple plaid couch in the living room and sank into the soft
cushions. As she tried to relax, her eyes caught on Joey’s first grade picture
hanging on the wall, and anxiety stiffened the muscles in her neck. Joey's
brown hair flopped in wild waves over his forehead, exactly like Alec's.

She folded her
knees against her chest, pressing them against herself as if the position could
calm the panic hurtling through her. What was she going to do? Time had seemed
to channel Alec's wild streak into something stronger, more dangerous. She
wasn’t sure what to expect from the man in her store today. Her childhood
sweetheart had been replaced by someone smoother, more controlled.

Which made his
invitation for dinner all the more perplexing. Why would he, a stranger now,
want dinner with the woman who'd left him at the altar?

It made no sense,
none at all. She’d wanted to say yes to discover his motives. They were there,
hiding in his eyes. And what about the way he’d made her feel? Terrified, yes,
but also alive again. Transported to a happier time. The buzz of adrenaline
still hummed through her as memories assaulted her senses. He’d grown more
handsome, suave, even. The temptation to call him and accept the dinner offer shocked
her.

Sipping her tea,
she forced herself to think rationally. Teenage hormones. Childhood friendship.
That’s all they’d had. If she agreed to some kind of exploratory dinner now,
then he would discover the secret she'd kept from him.

Dread rose quick
and desperate. Hands trembling, she tightened her grip on the mug. She had to
tell him at the reunion. Tomorrow. Before someone else told him. That was only
right.

The decision
knotted her stomach.

This would
shatter him. Why, after ten years of silence, had he come home? She wasn't
ready. Couldn't bear the thought of breaking this news to him.
Oh God, why
now
?

As usual, God
didn't answer.

The phone rang.
Startled, she almost dropped her cup on the coffee table. A hiss shot between
her lips and, carefully, she set the cup down. She tracked the phone by its
muffled tones and managed to snag it from beneath the couch cushions on the
fourth ring. Reaching over to the table beside the couch, she punched the off
button on the answering machine.

"Hello?"

"You didn't
answer your cell again." Rachel’s voice bounced through the receiver.

"It's in my
purse."

"I heard
Alec is in town."

"For the
reunion."

Being born late
in September put Katrina behind her friends in school, leaving Alec and Rachel
in the same grade. Thank goodness she’d excelled in her classes and moved up a
grade, otherwise she would’ve spent high school by herself, buried in a book
rather than enjoying classes with her friends.

"He’s here a
day early?" Rachel asked.

"Looks like
it."

"I want the
scoop. Ex-fiancée, jilted bridegroom, whatever you’d like to call him, just
walks into your shop? He’s gotta have a reason."

Katrina sighed
and settled back into the couch. "Not really. He said he’s here on
business."

"Right."
Her best friend snorted on the other end. "I wouldn’t put it past him to
have some twisted plan of revenge."

Katrina rolled
her eyes. "You never understood him."

"He was an
arrogant jerk. It makes me curious, and a little worried, that he visited you.
You're vulnerable."

"It’s been
three years since Joey and mom died." Katrina winced. Saying the words
still felt awkward, as if they jumbled on her tongue, unwilling to be released.

"Grief can't
be measured with time," Rachel said quietly. "You should see what he
wants."

"It doesn't
matter. He's part of the past and I don't care what he wants."
Liar
.
"I have to talk to him though. He needs to know about Joey." 

Silence reigned.
Rachel cleared her throat. "It won't make a difference. He's better off
not knowing."

As if a dead
child could be hidden in a town like Manatee Bay. "It's his right. Now that
he's here, I should tell him before someone else does." Swallowing hard,
she twirled the ancient phone cord. "He asked me to dinner."

The squeal that
reverberated through the receiver forced her to pull the phone from her ear
before Rachel's pitch permanently damaged her hearing. 

When Rachel
quieted, Katrina brought the phone back to her ear. "I said no."

"What?"
Another eardrum-busting shriek. "Call him back. We need to find out what
he’s up to and why. Remember Mr. Carmichael?"

She frowned. "Don't
be ridiculous. Mr. Carmichael is old news that has nothing to do with Alec
coming home." Alec's exposure of a favorite teacher as a pedophile had ripped
the town in two. People hadn't believed him. Mom claimed Alec made up the
accusation because Mr. Carmichael had flunked him.     

Katrina bit her
lip, overwhelmed by Rachel's suggestions and the memories they brought to the
surface. "My head is pounding. Can I talk to you later?"

"I’ll hold
you to that."

They disconnected
and with shaky fingers, Katrina picked up her tea. Rachel might be her best
friend but sometimes she needed a break from the steam-rolling locomotive that
was Rachel’s brain. She saw an apparition behind every bush, a boogeyman behind
every door. Of course, being a part-time PI could have something to do with Rachel's
cynical nature.

At least she represented
safety. Someone who could be counted on in time of crisis. Security mattered in
this crazy life. Katrina studied her living room. Old couch, small TV, knick
knacks scattered throughout, bright pillows tossed here and there. And
pictures. Lots and lots of pictures of Joey.

She’d created a
home here, despite her early reluctance. A refuge. Stability and a tranquil, if
empty, mood were finally returning. She didn’t like Alec stirring things up.
Maybe at one time she would have wanted it. Would have needed it.

But not now.

The sooner he moved
on, the better. For both herself and for him. Once he left she could continue focusing
on saving her store. The unpaid hospital bill lying near the answering machine
caught the corner of her gaze.

She groaned and
wanted to bury her face in her coffee cup, to sink forever out of this lonely
and cold existence. Could she bear much more? How could God do this to her,
right when she was beginning to want to trust Him again?

*****

Katrina walked
into O'Donnell's the next evening. The doors closed behind her and she stepped
into a transformed restaurant.

 Then again, she
hadn't eaten here in three years.

Exotic fragrances
teased her senses. Tables covered with scarlet cloth and topped by candles and
hibiscus greeted her. Waiters in starched white and black uniforms handed out
hors d’oeuvres and drinks that sparkled beneath the muted lighting. She tugged
the collar of her black dress up, noting the guests, looking for Sharon or Rachel.
Hopefully their seats were together.

Right when she
felt like slinking off to the bathroom, she spotted Rachel’s flaming hair
against the elegant background. Relieved, she started toward her. A group of
hopeful men, eager to renew their friendship with Manatee Bay’s former prom
queen, clustered around Rachel. From the flush on her face, Katrina guessed she
was enjoying every minute of the attention. 

Katrina reached
the edge of the circle and then hesitated. Rachel saw her and muscled through
the crowd, took her arm and steered her toward a convenient settee against a
wall.

"Later,
everyone," Rachel trilled, not even glancing back. "You rescued me.
Did you see Travis Long? Former star quarterback? I could barely breathe. He
has the nastiest stale nicotine breath. And did you see his beer belly? He
lives in Idaho now." They sat down on the little couch. "Can you
imagine trading Florida for Idaho?" Rachel shook her head and Katrina’s
shoulders relaxed.

"You look
gorgeous, Rachel."

"You, too."
Rachel frowned. "Your dress is a little big."

"I know."
Katrina looked down at herself. "I think I lost weight again."

"You're on a
strict diet from now on, do you hear me? This is Dr. McCormick speaking and I
am prescribing Little Debbie, at least two packs a day."

Katrina smiled.
Suddenly the large crowd seemed less intimidating, less noisy, more fun. "Okay,
doc, but only if you eat them with me."

"And lose my
girlish figure? I don’t think so."

They grinned at
each other and Katrina marveled at Rachel’s ability to put her at ease. It was
a talent she used well in her line of work.

Rachel’s chin
lifted and she jerked it towards the entrance of the restaurant. "Look
who's here."

Katrina followed
Rachel’s glare and the breath wedged in her chest.

An hour late to
the reunion and women flit to him like butterflies to a flower. High school all
over again. Except in high school, he'd returned the attention; that laser
focus of his enchanted Katrina's fellow students. He'd told her the other girls
didn't matter. That even if he smiled at a girl or carried her books, it didn't
mean anything.

Older now, she
knew it had meant more than he'd admit. She'd been right to leave him at the
altar before he regretted their marriage and broke away from its steel shackle.
And that's what he'd done anyway. Followed her to the storage room in the old
church and demanded answers. But she'd had none to give.

Within the day,
he'd left their town without a good-bye.

She watched him
as he shook hands and traded smiles, his gaze searching the room. Hunkering
down, she tried to fade into the background and hoped he wouldn’t see her. A
little more time to collect her thoughts, that's all she needed. Too late she
realized that sitting next to Rachel was like standing next to a red flag in a
room full of bulls. She groaned and straightened when Alec spotted them and,
with long strides, headed over.

"You didn’t
tell me he looked so hot," Rachel said beneath her breath.

"His hair's
too long."

"I guess he
still has that rebellious streak."

"Not really
rebellious. Just wild." Katrina's hands trembled and she shoved them
beneath her legs. "You like rule-breakers. Want him?"

"Never."
Rachel snorted. "I think I’ll go get a soda." Before Katrina could
grab her, Rachel sauntered off. 

The air shifted
as Alec’s lean body settled beside her. He was so close, so real, and no longer
the flat memory that invaded her nights too often. Her heartbeat tripled.

How could she
tell him what she'd done?