Relentless Rhythm (Tempest #4) (29 page)

Afterward, when I had switched off the blow dryer and fluffed my hair, he proposed a short walk along the waterfront.

I nodded eagerly, feeling as elated as if he’d offered me a get-out-of-the-prison-my-life-was-now card. But then that’s the way I felt whenever I was around him. Free. It would be so easy to believe in a life together. That we could be each other’s new beginnings.

Outside, the sun greeted us brightly. I lifted my face up to its warmth, the familiar city sounds surrounding us. When I turned, his eyes were on me. He took my hand, threading his long capable fingers with mine. Returning his gaze, my inner feeling shining out, I brought our joined hands to my chest and settled my body closer to his side.

As we started down the sidewalk, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to worry about who might see us today. I wasn’t going to worry about anything. I was going to set it all aside, just this once. For him. For us.

When we reached the bottom of the hill, he swept me off my feet, holding me over the pool surrounding the multi-tiered fountain. “Give me my heart’s desire, or you get wet.”

“Heart’s desire, huh?” I put my hands on his chest over his thumping heart. “Seems kind of a steep price to pay just to avoid getting drenched.”

His lip curled, his silver piercing glinting in the afternoon sun. “Not if my wish happens to match your own.”

“I don’t know?” I breathed held captive by the intense emotion in his brilliant amber eyes. “I don’t care about platinum records or sold out stadium tours, after all.”

“Neither do I. Not anymore. I care about you, Kitten. You’re my heart’s desire.” He brushed my lips with the softest kiss he’d ever given me. It was so beautiful, his words and the follow up. His expression was so tender that I forgot all about trying to lighten the moment and just let him dazzle me with his charm.

But I was unable to suppress a shiver as he continued to stare, a frisson of trepidation tiptoeing its way up my spine. I knew even if he didn’t that this was an impermanent indulgence as fleeting as our reflection in the fountain.

Just the threat of going into the fountain sent a shiver through her. She looked suddenly cold and pale. I set her down and pointed to the chocolatier across the way. “C’mon. Some of the spray must’ve gotten you wet. I’ll buy you a hot cocoa. It’ll warm you up while we walk.”

The inside of the shop smelled rich and decadent, just like she did. April leaned back against me after we ordered. I ran my nose along her neck enjoying the way her floral scent seemed to complement the chocolate. She made me smile when she told me my hair reminded her of Kahlua and cream.

“Spoken like a true bartender, babe.”

She smiled at me and I nearly sighed from the sheer joy of just being with her. I’d probably been too intense out by the fountain, but she hadn’t seemed to mind. Everything felt right in the moment. I refused to second guess myself.

She spun in my arms, her eyes bright and her expression light. She lifted her hand running her fingers through my hair. I wanted to purr, the big jungle cat tamed by his kitten. “I like it without the gel. It’s softer,” she whispered.

I lifted her chin to kiss the lips that were fast becoming an addiction. “If you say so.” I held her eyes, studying her face, loving every detail. The way the sun brought out reddish highlights in the brown that I’d never noticed before now. Her ivory skin was still tinged with the pink blush I’d put there earlier, and her eyes seemed more pure jade than I’d ever seen them.

“Lowell.” We both were so absorbed in each other that we jumped when the barista called out our order, the chocolate just the right temperature, almost as perfect as the woman by my side.

We sipped our drinks in silence as we strolled, framed between high rise apartments and the calm waters of the inlet. We dodged a couple of runners enjoying the beautiful day only stopping to observe a group of children engaged in a game of hopscotch they’d chalked into the pavement.

A shadow darkened April’s features. I pulled her into me instinctively knowing why. “It’s ok if you want to tell me, Kitten,” I offered gently, wading into waters I would’ve rather avoided had I not sensed that what had happened was so critical to understanding her.

“Her name was Quinn. That’s what I called her.” She stiffened. “Would’ve called her had she lived.” She closed her eyes. I don’t even think she realized her hand was rubbing her womb. It tore me up to see her in pain, and it frustrated me knowing there was nothing I could do to make it better. “I used to talk to her. Sing to her.” She reopened her eyes, blinking rapidly in vain. The tears came anyway. I stepped closer, brushing my thumbs over her wet cheeks, my chest so tight I could barely breathe.

“You don’t have to go on if it hurts too much.”

“No. It’s ok. I need to talk about it.” She tried for a smile, but it didn’t hold. “I never could with James.” She sniffed. “I started making up stories for her as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Full of the things I loved when I was a little girl. And I’ve kept writing them even though she’ll never hear them.”

“That’s a wonderful way to keep her memory alive.”

“James blames me for her death.” Her gaze dropped. She turned away. “He’s right. It
was
my fault.”

“No way.” I suspected as much. It would explain a lot. I moved in front of her. “How could you even think that?”

“Because it’s true.” She stared blankly ahead. “James always liked rough sex. The whole S&M thing. He’s a lot older than me. It just felt natural to let him take the lead. I liked when he took control, when he tied me up. I trusted him. But then I got pregnant.” There was bright color in her cheeks.

I wanted to touch her, to comfort her. But I didn’t want to do anything that would keep her from talking it out. I felt like she needed to stick a lance in it, to let all of the poison out.

She let out a long shaky sigh.

“Did he step out on you before or after that?” I prompted.

“Both I think.” She focused on me, head canted to the side wondering how I’d guessed about his infidelity. “I wasn’t sure until well after though.” Her gaze took on a faraway look. “He got way too rough the night before the miscarriage. I was so scared. I couldn’t breathe. But at the same time I still hoped that if I could please him, I could save our marriage.” Her shoulders slumped. “I should have made him stop, but I didn’t. I’ll regret that every single day of my life.” More tears slid down her cheeks. They fell so fast they pooled between her lips. “The next day I started spotting. Then suddenly it was over. My Quinn was gone forever.”

“You can’t be sure that’s the reason you miscarried.”

“That’s what the doctors told us, but I feel responsible anyway. What if she couldn’t breathe either? She’d be alive today if I’d have just said no.”

“It’s
not
your fault.” I bent to kiss her cheeks, tasting the salt and swallowing the bitter taste of her sorrow wishing I could wash it away with my love.

She shook her head.

“It’s fucking not,” I insisted. “I know you want to think it is though.”

“Why would you say that?” She shook her head, the tears stopping. At least the self-pity was gone.

“Because it gives you an excuse to beat yourself up. It’s your way of justifying the way he treats you. It’s the reason you stay with him. Because you don’t feel like you deserve better. But you do.”

I woke just before the alarm went off. Dizzy had insisted I try for a power nap before I went back to the hospital. Though I hadn’t thought it possible, I’d been wrong. He had worn me out so thoroughly beforehand that I’d gone out like a light.

I reached over and disabled the alarm, spending the few minutes I had left snuggling back up with the gorgeous, sensitive, smart, and surprising man at my side. The one who had twirled my heart around his finger as effortlessly as I spun a strand of his hair around mine.

Since we had spoken down by the waterfront, I felt like a burden had been lifted from of me. As if I had needed that additional display of insight by him or anything else to make me fall further under his spell.

He was going to hate me when I ended it. I had no choice. Despite the promise he had extracted from me.

As soon as we’d returned to his apartment, he’d plunged his hands into my hair, his fingers combing my ponytail holder loose. Long strands had fallen soft as a silken cloud around my shoulders.

“Get out of your clothes, and get into the bed,” he ordered and I complied savoring my reward, his warm lips covering my own. He climbed on top of me already naked himself, his arousal rock hard and insistent against my abdomen.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he pulled my arms over my head, and I felt the soft tug of thick nylon around my wrists.

“Proving something. Several things actually.”

“What?” I turned my head to the side as he secured one of my wrists to the headboard. “Wait, why are you tying me up?” He ratcheted his guitar strap tighter around my wrists before moving to the other side. “First things first.” Amber eyes delved deep. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Dizzy,” I said without having to even think about the answer. He’d proved he was trustworthy, time and time again with his actions. It was me that I didn’t trust.

“Thank you.” He smiled such a wide smile that his perfect white teeth practically blinded me. He stroked my cheek with his ringed thumb. “See.” He held my eyes. “You’ve already learned one important thing and I haven’t even gotten started yet.”

I rolled my eyes.

He raised his studded brow. “I wasn’t planning to get into any formal punishments, but I’ll change my mind if you wanna get sassy with me.”

“No, Sir.” I started to relax and stopped really straining against my bonds. He straddled my body.

“You’re mine.” He kissed me again. This time his lips were hot and hungry. There was no messing around. The second lesson was clear and effective. He owned me. Every stroke of his tongue proved it and every nip from his teeth confirmed it.

“Say it,” he ordered in a velvety growl, pinching my nipples hard enough that the tiny spike of pain became part of the pleasure.

“I’m yours.”