Relentless (14 page)
He grabbed her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. “In case I didn’t say it properly last night, I’m real proud of you. You impress the hell out of me.”
She looked taken aback by his words. A soft blush stained her cheeks and she smiled. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“I mean it. You’re so damn talented, Nik,” he said, gruffly. He’d never had his brother’s way with words and it was moments like this he wished he did. He wanted her to know that he understood how much her career meant to her and he would never try and stand between her and her dream. He had never learned the fine art of subtlety, and he knew he often came on too strong when he should have the good sense to rein it in, but with Nikki, he felt like he needed to act quickly or risk missing out on the chance of a lifetime.
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
He felt so inept. How could he make her understand how much he appreciated and respected her and her music, without sounding like he had a serious case of hero worship? He wasn’t used to being on this side of the fence. He was usually the one who had to ward off the advances of overzealous buckle bunnies. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been the pursuer in a relationship.
She glanced at the keys in his hand, looking uncomfortable. “Uh, are you ready to go, or have you changed your mind?”
“No, sorry,” he mumbled, cursing his stupidity as he fired up the engine. His mind was racing with thoughts and feelings he couldn’t find the right words to express. He didn’t want to come on too strong and scare her away, but he didn’t want to live with the regret of not telling her how he felt when he had the chance. “You and your buddy sort things out?” he asked, finally.
She shook her head, a sigh escaping her lips. “Yeah, we’re not gonna be seeing each other for a while.”
He gripped the steering wheel, trying to resist the urge to pump his fist in the air. Easing into the busy late afternoon traffic, he asked, “Really? Why’s that?”
Her scornful look told him he wasn’t fooling her with his innocent act. “Like you don’t know.”
“He told you what we talked about?” Not that J.T. would blame the guy for outing him. After his strong-arm approach, he probably deserved it.
“He didn’t have to.”
He stole a glance at her when they stopped at a traffic light. She seemed uneasy, like she was afraid of revealing too much. If that were the case, he’d have to keep digging until she told him what he wanted to hear. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think he had a pretty good idea where things were headed when you showed up.”
“Why’s that?”
Crossing her arms over her midsection, she tapped her sandaled foot against the floorboards.
“He’s convinced I’ve had a thing for you for a while now.”
He grinned. Now they were getting somewhere. “I’m listening.”
She scowled out the window. “I didn’t say he was right.”
He reached across the seat, gripping her thigh. “No, but you didn’t deny it, either.”
She looked at his hand and sighed. “I told you last night I’d been curious about you for a while. I guess I just didn’t realize I’d been so obvious about it.”
He chuckled, reveling in her quiet admission. “So your boyfriend knew you were hot for me all along?”
“He wasn’t my boyfriend; he was just a friend. And I never said I was hot for you. It was just a silly little infatuation.” She pressed the button to ease the window down. The cool air brushed across her face, stirring her hair. “I didn’t even know you.”
He wanted to reach over and tuck the stray strands of hair behind her ear so he could see her beautiful face. “Maybe not, but you’re gettin’ to know me now.”
She tipped her head to the side, looking him in the eye. “What’s your point?”
He thought his point was obvious. What he felt for her went way beyond infatuation, and if she was honest with herself, he knew she’d admit that she was feeling it too. “Who knows where this might lead, if you’re willin’ to give it a chance.”
She shook her head. “I thought I made myself clear last night. I’m not willing to give it a chance. I can’t…”
He gripped the steering wheel, frustration warring with the little voice inside of his head that told him to stay calm, or he’d risk blowing his chance again. “You’re using your career as an excuse because you don’t want to risk getting hurt.”
“How the hell would you know how I feel?”
“I’ve been where you are, sugar. It’s easy to hide behind your career, not let anyone in. Then you wind up where I am. Alone, with a long road ahead of you and no idea where you’re goin’. Let me tell you, it’s scary. Don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made.”
She gripped his hand, a tender look in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were thinking of retiring.”
He didn’t want her pity; he wanted her promise that she would be smart enough to take advice from someone who’d been there and wore the battle scars to prove it. “It’s not like I have a choice. I can’t keep ridin’ forever.”
“But you’re still on top…”
He shrugged. “For now, but I know it’s only a matter of time before someone knocks me off my throne.” He forced a chuckle, trying to pretend he wasn’t bitter. “They’re all gunnin’ for me. Sooner or later, one of them will take the top spot from me.” After clearing his throat, he said, “I’d rather go out on my terms, as a winner.”
“Any idea what you’ll do now?” she asked softly.
“Not a clue.” The silence crowded the small space before he added, “I guess I’m gonna have to figure it out sooner rather than later. I’m comin’ to the end of my season. I’ll announce it then.”
“If you ever need someone to talk to, to bounce ideas around with, I’m here.”
He was surprised by her offer, but even more surprised by his willingness to confide in her. Twenty-four hours ago he wouldn’t have suspected he could open up to anyone, aside from his brother, about this. “Thanks for listening, Nik. It helps, a lot.”
She smiled. “I’m glad. I know what it’s like to feel alone, J.T. This business is rough. You never know who likes you for you and who just wants to say they knew you when.”
“Do you have a lot of close friends?” he asked, linking his hand with hers. He loved touching her. Hell, who was he kidding, he couldn’t keep his hands off her.
“Some, but it isn’t easy to maintain friendships when you’re a workaholic.” She smiled. “I fast-tracked school so I could start working on my music, which meant I was working round the clock just so I could handle my course load.”
“Doesn’t sound like that left a lot of time for fun.” He understood the discipline required to reach a goal, but he’d always found a healthy balance. It was difficult for him to imagine the kind of single-minded determination she described. He’d go crazy if he didn’t cut loose once in a while.
She watched him trace lazy circles over her wrist. “I think the sacrifice will be worth it in the end.”
He kissed her hand. “Yeah, well I’m gonna make it my mission in life to make sure you take the time to have a little fun, sugar.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh yeah? Just how do you plan on making that happen, cowboy?”
He chuckled. “I’ve got a few ideas in mind.”
“J.T., I meant what I said last night. I don’t have the time or energy for a relationship right now.”
“I heard what you said.” He had two weeks before she went out on tour, two weeks to prove to her that he could fill a void in her life she hadn’t even been willing to acknowledge. She needed him, and he intended to make sure she realized that before she immersed herself in life on the road.
“So are you proposing that we just have a little fun together before I take off?”
J.T. was a man who laid his cards on the table and dealt with the fallout, but he suspected if he came on too strong with Nikki, he would scare her away. He couldn’t take that risk. “Yeah, why not?”
She grinned, revealing a flash of bright white teeth. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what you had in mind. After last night…”
He squeezed her hand, wishing he could erase last night from her memory and start over with a clean slate. He wanted to be the kind of man, the kind of lover, she deserved. Wanting to make someone else happy was a foreign concept to J.T. He usually put his goals, his desires, above all else, but Nikki brought out a different side in him, a side he wanted to explore. She aroused his protective instincts; he wanted to take care of her, to ensure she was safe, happy, and above all,
his
. “Can we just forget about last night, darlin’?”
She frowned, looking confused. “Why would I want to forget? It was amazing. Sure, it would’ve been nice to…”
“To what?” Whatever she wanted, he intended to give it to her.
A pretty blush stole over her cheeks and she dipped her head, refusing to look him in the eye. “You know, to cuddle afterwards.”
He cursed himself for cutting and running, like she was some buckle bunny who had been in his bed for the sole purpose of satisfying his needs. She was so much more than that to him, and if he didn’t find a way to make her believe that, he was afraid he was going to lose his chance with her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just needed a few minutes to clear my head.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Let’s just say I wasn’t too happy with my performance last night.”
“Are you kidding? That was the first time I ever…”
He liked where this was going. “The first time you ever what, baby? Don’t be shy with me.”
She hesitated, biting her bottom lip. “The first time I ever had an orgasm during sex, okay? Are you happy now?” She covered her face with her free hand. “God, I can’t believe I just told you that.”
He intended to introduce her to a multitude of firsts; last night was just the beginning. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, sweetheart. I wish things could’ve gone down differently, but I’m glad you got something out of it. Let’s just say, in my fantasies, I was able to give you a whole lot more.”
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “Did you really fantasize about me, about us?”
He groaned, shifting in his seat. “Darlin’, you have no idea.”
“I’m glad I wasn’t the only one.” She looked out the window, watching the changing landscape as they left the city limits. “This thing between us scares me, J.T.,” she said quietly.
Her vulnerability tore at him, rousing his protective instincts yet again. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I’d never hurt you.”
“But what if I hurt you?”
He knew that was a very real possibility but a risk he was willing to take nonetheless. “I’m a big boy; I can handle whatever life throws at me.”
“I just want to be clear about one thing before we take this any further. My career is my first love, my only love. That’s just the way it has to be.”
He wanted to argue, but he was a man of action, not words. “I understand what I’m getting into with you, Nik. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“As long as you’re sure this is what you want, a quick fling, before I hit the road.”
It wasn’t what he wanted, but if it was all she was offering, it would have to do. For now. “I want you, plain and simple. If those are your terms, I’m cool with that.”
She smiled a slow, seductive smile. “In that case, I’m game.”
This wasn’t a game to him, and he intended to make sure the next two weeks would be the start of something amazing, for both of them.
Pulling into the long drive leading to the McCall’s property, Nikki smiled when she saw Mrs. McCall tending her garden. She had gotten to know the family well in recent months and they always welcomed her with open arms and a warm smile.
J.T. waved to his mother and veered left, heading toward the log cabin he called home when he was in town. She knew it had once belonged to Ty, before he married Avery and they bought a neighboring ranch of their own.
She gripped his forearm. “Hey, let me out here. I wanna say hi to your mama.”