Authors: Anne Herries
‘Thank you, my lady—but I can’t ask for more than you’ve done already, though I am still willing to sew for you to pay my debt.’
‘I asked my husband to return the money that was taken from Sam. It is yours, Lily. Please do not be too proud to take it for the sake of your children.’
‘I’ll think about it—if it happens.’
Lottie left her cottage feeling saddened. She could not expect Lily to welcome her with open arms or to accept her apology. Lily’s grief was sharp and it would take time for her to think of a future without the man she had loved.
The visit was something Lottie had had to do, and now there was something more she must see to—even though she expected an even more hostile reception at the Hollow.
‘Are you sure you want to stop here, ma’am?’ Willis asked as they approached the little cluster of hovels. ‘They be a rough lot at the Hollow.’
‘They do not have much chance to be otherwise,’ Lottie said. ‘That open ditch is unhealthy and it smells vile. Who would not resent living near to something like that?’
‘Just be careful, ma’am. Not that they’ll touch you while I’m around. They know my father and uncles would come back and thrash ’em.’
‘Thank you, that makes me feel much better.’ Lottie smiled at him. She did not know it, but her manner and her smile had won her a staunch friend that morning.
They dismounted at one end of the hamlet, because Lottie wished to see the true condition of the houses for herself. She lifted her long skirt, hanging it over her arm so that it did not drag in the filth. The smell was vile, but she bore it without flinching, though she was amused to see that Willis covered his nose and mouth.
As she walked the length of the street, people started to come out of the houses. Every now and then she stopped to look at a house. It seemed to Lottie that some
of them could be restored, though some would need to be replaced. There was no doubt that it was not an easy project, but she thought it could be done with a little thought and management. The most obvious need was to have the ditch drained and covered.
Intent on her inspection, Lottie was not aware that the crowd had grown until Willis touched her arm and gave a little nod of his head. She turned and saw that they had all gathered at the end of the street, and one man stood at the front, as if intending to block her return to her horse.
Their mood was clearly hostile and she could hardly blame them after what had happened to Sam Blake. However, Lottie was in no mood to be intimidated.
‘I have seen enough,’ she told Willis. ‘We shall leave now.’ She saw the discomfort in his face and smiled. ‘Do not worry, Willis. I know they are angry, but I do not think they will harm me.’
As they reached the small group at the end of the street, Lottie saw that Sam Blake’s cousin Dickon was at their head.
‘Good morning,’ she said pleasantly in a voice that would carry. ‘I dare say you are all wondering what I am doing here this morning?’
‘You shouldn’t ’ave come ’ere,’ Dickon growled. ‘Pokin’ yer nose in where yer ain’t wanted.’
‘Unless someone comes, these houses will become nothing but ruins within a few years,’ Lottie said. ‘It is my intention to repair those that can be repaired. Some will have to be torn down, but they will be rebuilt—and we shall begin by putting in drains and covering over that awful ditch.’
‘We don’t want yer interference, missus. Clear orf and don’t come back or I’ll make yer sorry.’
‘Speak for yerself, Dickon,’ one of the other men said. ‘My wife and baby suffer every winter with the damp; our first lad died of a fever on his lungs. If her ladyship means what she says, I’ll give a hand with the ditch.’
‘I intend to start the repairs at once,’ Lottie announced. ‘I shall use local labour if possible—so if any of you have building skills, please let me know.’
‘I’ve been a builder,’ one of the men said. ‘And Sid Carne is a roofer. Most of us can use a spade or a hammer. We would have repaired the houses ourselves if we had the money.’
‘Anyone who is willing to work should be here tomorrow morning. I shall be bringing my husband’s agent at eight sharp and he will draw up a list of the houses to be repaired and what must be done—and he will pay those who work each day.’
‘What about them houses you said ’ad ter come down?’ Dickon asked. ‘Where will the families go then?’
‘I shall begin building a little further through the Hollow. As one house is finished, so one of the houses that cannot be saved will come down; we shall start with the worst and continue until the end, though that may take some time. I hope that you will be as patient as you can, for I cannot do it all at once.’
‘Give ’er ladyship a chance, Dickon,’ one of the other men said. ‘No one but ’er ’as bothered about us fer years. Let ’er see what she can do.’
‘I shall be here tomorrow,’ Lottie said. ‘Be prepared to work. I should prefer that you earned the money
yourselves, but of course that is entirely up to you. I can bring in outside craftsmen if I have to.’
The crowd parted to let her through. Willis helped her to mount and they rode away.
‘If you are serious about the building, my lady, my elder brother could do with some extra work. Tom can turn his hand to anything—and I reckon as there will be a few more glad of some extra money.’
‘Tell him to be there, Willis,’ Lottie said.
She could not help feeling a little nervous as she dismounted in the stables and walked into the house. Nicolas might well say that she was interfering in his affairs, and she was—but something had to be done. Lottie was prepared to pay for the repairs with her own money. She just hoped Nicolas would not be too angry with her.
‘My husband has gone to London?’ Lottie did not know how she managed to hide her surprise and disappointment when Mrs Mann told her why Nicolas had not come down to nuncheon. ‘Ah, yes, I believe he did mention some business. I was not perfectly sure when he meant to leave.’
Her heart felt as if someone had taken a knife and stabbed her. So it was all over. He had soon tired of her company and after their quarrel he had decided to return to London—and his mistress, perhaps.
For a moment she recalled the look in his eyes when she had spoken of Elizabeth. He had looked stunned and then angry, as if enraged because she had dared to speak his beloved’s name.
Grief and disappointment threatened to overwhelm
her. What was she to do with her life now? For a moment it seemed as if there was nothing left to live for—then she lifted her head as pride came to her aid.
She conquered her disappointment and decided to speak to her husband’s agent after nuncheon. Lottie was a little apprehensive, for she imagined he might resist her ideas for the Hollow, but he listened in silence and then nodded his agreement.
‘I told his lordship that some of the houses might be saved, but he was insistent it should all come down—perhaps because of things that happened in the past, my lady.’
‘I am not sure I understand you, Mr Masters?’
‘The late Lady Rothsay was like you, ma’am. She was forever trying to help people—she took a fever after a visit to the Hollow and died within two days. His lordship was but a lad at the time and I dare say he took it hard.’
‘That is sad,’ Lottie said. ‘Surely the best way to prevent something of the sort happening again is to drain that awful ditch and cover it over.’
‘I dare say it would help,’ Simon Masters agreed. ‘There will need to be a cesspool to dispose of the… I beg your pardon, my lady. I should not speak of these things to you.’
Lottie laughed. ‘Who else should you tell, sir? I need to know everything that goes on, because I want the work to start immediately.’
‘Then perhaps I should draw up a schedule of works for your approval?’
‘Yes, of course. I am not sure how fast I can do
all the work, but I want to do as much as I can afford immediately, and then we’ll see.’
‘Naturally, the repairs will come from the estate revenue, my lady. His lordship left orders that you were to have a free hand—I am certain he would expect to pay himself for any repairs.’
‘Nicolas said that I might have a free hand?’
Lottie was surprised and pleased. This was the last thing she had expected.
‘Yes, my lady.’
‘Very well, we shall begin first thing tomorrow and use as much local talent as we can for the labouring work. Some of the residents may be craftsmen and we must give them the chance, but I shall be guided by your experience in the matter.’
‘You may safely leave it in my hands, my lady.’
‘Oh, I intend to be there myself at the start,’ Lottie said. ‘I shall be keeping an eye on what happens—and do not let them cheat you, Mr Masters. I want to help them, but they must do a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay.’
The agent smiled. ‘Just so, my lady. May I say that I believe things will prosper now that you are here—and perhaps his lordship will take more interest?’
‘We must hope so, sir.’
Lottie returned to the house. It was time to take tea with Aunt Beth. Perhaps by working hard every day and concentrating all her thoughts on the unfortunate people of the Hollow, she could forget that Nicolas had deserted her and that her heart felt as if it had split in two.
‘L
ottie, look at the state of you,’ Aunt Beth scolded some three weeks later. ‘I approve of what you are doing for those people, naturally, but I did not expect you would actually work yourself.’
‘I helped one of the younger women to move from her house into a cottage Mr Masters found for her on the estate. Once her new house is built she will move back to the Hollow,’ Lottie said and laughed. ‘She has three children and her house is the first to come down. I fear the baby has deposited the contents of his napkin all over my gown. It is just as well I was wearing an old one.’
‘You should change before the countess sees you. She would be horrified. I fear you smell, Lottie.’
‘Yes, it was my intention to go straight up before seeing anyone,’ Lottie said and frowned. ‘I thought the countess was in London?’
‘She says she needs to speak to you, dearest—but please change before you see her.’
Lottie hurried to change. She knew that she must look terrible, but she had hardly sat still a moment these past weeks since Nicolas left. It would not be true to say that her heartache had eased, but she had little time to think of him, at least during the day. At night her loneliness was hard to bear, but bear it she must, for there was nothing else to be done. Nicolas did not want or need her and she must fill her life with good works.
Having changed into a clean gown and scraped her hair back into a knot at her nape, Lottie went down to the parlour. Henrietta was there alone, and her eyes went over Lottie with disapproval.
‘It seems there is not much to choose between the two of you,’ she exclaimed. ‘I came down to tell you that my godson is on a course set straight for hell and will not long be for this world if something is not done. Now I find you in hardly better shape. You have lost weight, Lottie. What in the world has got into the pair of you?’
Lottie flushed—she knew she had not bothered with her appearance of late. ‘Forgive me for not making more effort, Henrietta, but I have been working at the Hollow. I spent the day helping a young woman to move house and—’
‘Surely you have servants enough without working yourself to the bone?’ Henrietta frowned at her. ‘I thought you might see sense, but it seems you are no less stubborn than my godson—did you hear what I said about Nicolas?’
Lottie frowned. ‘I heard, but I did not understand you. Is Nicolas ill?’
‘Not yet, but he mostly certainly will be if he continues this way. He has been drinking and gambling, and I’ve never known him to be so careless of his appearance. I called on him the other morning and he looked terrible.’
Lottie’s heart contracted with pain. ‘I am sorry to hear that, Henrietta, but I really do not see what I can do about it. Nicolas would take little notice of me.’
‘You are his wife, Lottie. Do you not care what becomes of him? I have never seen him like this. I do not understand what has changed him—he is like a man possessed, driven to destruction. Indeed, he reminds me of his father just after the marchioness died.’ Henrietta’s eyes narrowed. ‘Have you quarrelled with him, Lottie?’
‘No…at least nothing that should upset him in the way you describe. I believe he may regret that he married me. He was not in love with me, Henrietta. There was someone else he cared for deeply.’
‘Are you certain of that?’ Henrietta looked puzzled. ‘He was always moody, of course. Not when he was younger, but these past few years—but then he seemed much happier. I really thought you were the perfect wife for him.’ She looked at Lottie intently. ‘Do you care for him at all?’
‘I love him with all my heart—but please do not tell him so. I fear I drove him away. He does not wish for a clinging wife.’
‘Ridiculous! What Nicolas needs is to love and be
loved. If you cared for him, you would do something before it is too late.’
‘Would you have me send for him? I doubt he would come—and if he did I could not keep him against his will.’
Henrietta was about to answer, but Aunt Beth entered the room and she thought better of it.
Lottie was thoughtful as she handed out tea and cake. Was Nicolas really behaving that badly? Could he be upset over their quarrel? She had not thought it would affect him—or perhaps he was simply being reckless because he felt trapped?
It was a problem, for she could not simply ignore Henrietta’s appeal for help. Her mind was busy with all the alternatives as she went upstairs to change for the evening. If Nicolas wished to be free she would oblige him, but first he must be honest with her and tell her what he wanted from her.
Lottie did not think there was much point in sending for her husband. He would either ignore her or pay a flying visit that would do no one any good. For a while she could not think what she ought to do, but as she was dressing the idea came to her. She had not bothered to purchase many clothes, for she had thought she would have no need of them, but she had been invited to dine several times by her neighbours, and if she were to visit Bath with her aunt she would certainly need more fashionable clothes.
Her plan was bold and risky—Nicolas would be within his rights to be angry. She had agreed to his terms, which were that he would be free to go to London while she stayed here or visited the house in Bath. If she turned
up at his London house on the pretext of needing to buy clothes, he would quite possibly be furious.
Well, if they had a row, it might clear the air. Lottie faced the prospect head on. If Nicolas wanted a separation he must tell her—otherwise he would simply have to put up with having her around.
‘Go to London to buy clothes?’ At dinner that evening, Henrietta looked at her in silence for a moment, then she smiled. ‘I think that is an excellent idea, my love. We shall all stay at Nicolas’s house while you refurbish your scanty wardrobe. If you will be guided by me, I think we can soon have you looking more the thing, Lottie.’
‘I think I shall need your advice if I am to acquire a little town bronze, Henrietta. I do not expect to become the toast of the town, but I should like to be well received.’
‘I see no reason why you should not be—and I know my friends will be happy to take you under their wings, my dear. People have been asking why you had not come up with Nicolas. I could not explain, for I had no idea.’
‘That is simple—my aunt was poorly, but she is recovered now, are you not, Aunt Beth?’
‘What are you up to, Lottie?’ Aunt Beth said. ‘If you do not mind, I shall stay here, dearest. I may pay your father a little visit, just for a week or two while you are away. He wrote to me and seems worried about your sister.’
‘Yes, of course. Go to him if you feel he needs you,’ Lottie said. ‘But please come back to me soon, aunt.’
‘I shall not desert you, Lottie,’ Aunt Beth said. ‘But
I think you will do better with the countess in town. I have no wish to be racketing around.’
‘I dare say we shall not be out so very much,’ Lottie said innocently. ‘I may be gone only a short time—it depends on what I find…’
Lottie was thoughtful as she went to bed that evening. Perhaps she was a fool but there was no point in staying here pining for something that might never happen. Nicolas was obviously not going to return of his own accord. He might be furious with her, but that would be better than this silent indifference. If they were to part it would be better done now—though in her heart Lottie knew that she would never love anyone else.
She could not stand by and see Nicolas go to the devil without at least trying to discover the cause.
Nicolas stared at himself in his shaving mirror and cursed what he saw. He looked as if he had been dragged through the gutters the previous night; for all he knew, he might have been. He had visited various clubs, discovered that endless gambling bored him and returned home to lose himself in a brandy bottle.
The trouble was, he suspected, that he was missing Lottie. Her perfume seemed to haunt him and he was conscious of a hollow place inside that had been filled for a little time by her presence. He could not get her out of his mind. The drinking and gambling had done nothing to ease the ache inside him or the sense of shame he felt for having abused his wife.
She would hate him now, of course. From the very beginning he had done nothing but insult her—and that
last quarrel was unforgivable. How could he go home, which was increasingly where he wished to be? Lottie’s clear eyes would show her disgust too plainly and it would kill him to know he deserved her hatred.
Of course he was not in love with her. Romantic love was a myth, but he had enjoyed her company and he wanted her affection—her respect. And though he felt sure that he could never return it, he’d selfishly wanted her love.
Well, he had forfeited it and there was no going back to before that night, but it was time to bring an end to the mad behaviour of the past weeks. He would ruin himself or end up dead in the gutter.
Perhaps he would write an apology to his wife. If she accepted it, he could at least visit her sometimes.
Feeling better, he decided to visit the fencing master he sometimes patronised. It would sharpen his wits and get rid of the sluggish feeling, which was the result of too much wine of late.
‘His lordship said nothing of your coming, my lady,’ the startled housekeeper said when Lottie and the Countess of Selby arrived on the doorstep of the London house that morning. ‘It won’t take above half an hour to prepare your rooms—if you would step into the parlour and partake of some refreshments?’
‘I dare say my husband did not get my letter,’ Lottie said blithely, though she had sent none. Had she informed him, she was certain that Nicolas would have told her not to come. ‘We shall be quite content to sit and drink a dish of tea while our rooms are prepared, Mrs Barret.’
Lottie glanced around her as they were taken into a
very elegant salon. It was furnished with delicate satinwood furniture inlaid with porcelain plaques and looked as if it might be French in style. Perfect for entertaining one’s friends, but not as comfortable as her parlour at home.
Lottie frowned, because she had been used to thinking of Rothsay as her home and that might change quite soon. She lifted her chin, putting on a brave face. Henrietta had spoken of Nicolas as being in a parlous state, but she would judge for herself when he came in later. It seemed that he was expected for dinner that evening.
What would he say when he discovered his wife had come to stay? Would he be furious and ask her to leave first thing in the morning?
Why should she leave until she was ready? Nicolas had bullied her into marrying him when she would have released him from the contract. Now he must just put up with the inconvenience until she was ready to leave.
‘So what do you think of the house?’ Henrietta asked. ‘Nicolas had it refurbished when he was first on the town. Personally, I feel it is stylish, but not truly a home.’
‘I think it is perfect for entertaining, though if I were often here I should like something more comfortable for the afternoons when I was alone.’
Henrietta laughed. ‘Lottie, my dear, I can see this is your first visit to town. The whole point of being in town is that one is never alone—one is always coming or going or entertaining. I dare say your boudoir may be more comfortable.’
‘My boudoir? Do you imagine I have one here?’
‘Yes, certainly. Nicolas must have prepared the master suite for the comfort of the lady he intended to be his
wife. You may care to sit there sometimes—if you are at home—but I am sure that once I tell my friends you are here you will not have time.’
Lottie looked at her uncertainly. The countess seemed very certain that she would be welcomed into society by everyone. As yet, Lottie was not quite so sure.
‘Lottie…’ The door that divided her suite of very attractive rooms from those that Nicolas used when in town was suddenly flung open and her husband strode in. Her heart caught as she saw him, because she had temporarily forgotten how very handsome he was. ‘I could hardly believe it when Barret told me you were here.’
‘Nicolas.’ Lottie’s pulses raced as she looked at him. ‘I am sorry you did not get my letter. I hope you will not mind my coming up to town, but I find I cannot manage with the clothes I have. Though you were undoubtedly generous with the gowns you organised for me before the wedding, I have been entertained by most of our neighbours and if I am to take Aunt Beth to Bath, I need some town bronze. Henrietta was kind enough to say she would help me choose the right seamstresses.’
For a moment Nicolas was silent, his manner uncertain, as if waiting for something, then, ‘Of course I do not mind, Lottie. I told you that you would need more clothes, did I not?’
‘Certainly you did, Nicolas.’ Lottie kept her expression bland, wanting to give nothing away as she searched his face for signs of the depravity the countess had spoken of. He looked tired and there were shadows beneath his eyes, but at the moment he was sober and she could see
no sign of desperation. ‘I dare say it will only take me a few days to be suited and then you may be peaceful again.’
‘Please stay as long as you wish, Lottie.’ She noticed a little pulse flicking at his temple. ‘Are you quite well? I think you have lost some weight? You look thinner than I remember.’
‘Perfectly well, thank you,’ she replied and allowed a cool smile. ‘You will not pull caps with me, Nicolas. Mr Masters said that you had given me a free hand—and I fear I have taken advantage. We have started work on the Hollow, using mostly local labour. I must tell you that one of the new houses is almost built and that terrible ditch has been covered in and drained into a cesspool.’
‘Masters wrote and informed me,’ Nicolas said, his eyes narrowed and intent. ‘I should, of course, have seen to it years ago—but for reasons I prefer to remain private, I favoured pulling the whole place down.’
‘It would be a pity to drive people from their homes when a few repairs and some rebuilding will make it a perfectly decent place to live. Now that the open ditch is gone I am sure everyone will be healthier.’