Reflection (The Chrysalis Series) (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-one

Skyler didn’t know how much longer she could go on this way. She’d promised the professor she would not do anything rash, but she felt stained. Nothing she did removed the sense of tarnish crawling across her spirit.

It numbed her.

She peered through the grey light of dawn at Dale. He looked so innocent in sleep. The optical illusion was disorienting. To see him now, sprawled across his bed, one arm thrown carelessly over his head, snoring softly, you’d never suspect the evil depravity lurking behind those pale blue eyes. His brown sugar hair was tousled and he had a slight smile. He was stunning.

She’d gladly kill him as he lay there.

It wouldn’t be hard. Snob that he was, all of his expensive kitchen knives were razor-sharp. She could easily grab that large one he was always using to chop vegetables.

It would slide easily between his ribs. She’d read that it only took two-and-a-half inches of blade to kill someone. That would more than do the job.

Or maybe just pick up that heavy iron lamp on the table next to the bed and beat him over the head with it. She bet it would be very satisfying to hear the crunch of that despicable brain crushing under its weight.

She wished she had a gun. She’d enjoy watching him cower as she pointed it at him. She wanted him to understand the nature of being helpless. Powerless. No longer in control of your fate. She wanted to see fear in his eyes and taste it on her tongue before she ended his evil once and for all.

Oh yes, Skyler understood the nature of murder now. It was about control; taking it back in a way that was permanent and undeniable. Killing Dale would ensure he never harmed her or anyone else again.

It would be messy, though. Lots of blood. Too much evidence. Her fingerprints were everywhere. She’d be caught. Her baby would be taken from her.

He wasn’t worth that. She sighed as the cloying feeling of desolation settled in her chest. Knowing she wouldn’t act didn’t stop her from fantasising. It was the only thing getting her through the nights with him.

He continued to use her. Continued to hold her scholarship over her head. She had told him she’d gotten the abortion but that had only bought her two weeks to “heal”. He hadn’t wanted to touch her when she’d said she was bleeding.

Fortunately, she wasn’t showing yet. But she only had about a month before she would be and she didn’t trust what he would do to her when he found out.

The professor had promised they’d expose him before then, but so far Skyler didn’t see a plan coming together and she didn’t know if she could continue to play this role with him.

She cringed at his touch. Something he seemed to enjoy. The bastard. He’d grown rougher too and she feared for the baby if he truly hurt her. Last night had been particularly bad. She was still sore and it was painful to sit.

Oh, to turn the tables on him and give him a taste of his own medicine. She smiled at the thought.

‘What are you doing over there?’ Dale’s voice, rough with sleep, startled her out of her fantasies.

‘Just thinking,’ she said, gripping the arms of the easy chair she sat in as her belly cramped and twisted.

‘About what?’ He sat up and turned on the light, blinding her momentarily.

Squinting into the light, she told him, ‘You.’ She figured honesty was easier than lying.

He grunted and threw back the covers before walking naked into the bathroom. She stayed where she was and contemplated the feasibility of making a run for it as the sounds of the toilet flushing and water running filtered out of the bathroom.

She wanted to run. To throw on her clothes and get the hell out of there, but she knew better.

He stepped back into the room, his dick already semi-hard. A crawling sensation erupted over her skin but she suppressed a shudder.

She bit her lip to fight the tears welling behind her eyes. She couldn’t keep doing this.

‘Come here, Skyler.’ Dale patted the bed before gripping his dick and squeezing. ‘Put that smart little mouth of yours to use.’

Nausea rolled over her, but she fought it. Kneeling between his legs, she took his dick in her mouth, being careful to remember everything he’d taught her.

Only the fantasy of his downfall sustained her though this now familiar violation.

‘Professor, I’m going to lose it if we don’t figure out something soon.’

Bridget heard the desperation in Skyler’s voice and her stomach clenched. She’d been wracking her brain for a solution, but she remained stumped.

The end of the semester was next week and her tenure review would come the following week. They needed a plan. Now.

‘What about tape? Do you think you could get him on tape?’ She was spit-balling here but she needed to keep Skyler engaged.

Skyler snorted.

‘I’m no longer allowed to visit his office. He won’t “risk a scene”.’ Bridget could hear the air quotes as Skyler’s tone changed. She sighed and continued in a strained voice. ‘And, frankly, he has me naked within minutes when I get to his house. He takes my purse. I don’t see how I could manage that.’

Bridget had to forcibly relax her grip on her phone. The rage that flooded her at the cruelty Whittier was committing sickened her.

‘Skyler.’ She plunged forward, not really thinking, just knowing she had to get her away from the man. ‘You’re going to come and stay with me. I’ll get your work and arrange with your other professors to proctor your finals, but you’re not spending one more moment where he can get to you.’

She paused, waiting for a response, but all she heard were sobs.

‘Skyler?’

More weeping.

‘Sugar, talk to me.’ Tears welled in her own eyes.

Skyler just continued to sob for several minutes, eventually subsiding into sniffles.

‘Thank you, Professor.’ She practically wailed the words.

‘Skyler, I promise you we’ll solve this.’ Bridget forced herself to relax and project confidence despite the doubt twisting her gut.

‘I know, Professor.’ She didn’t sound confident.

‘Listen, pack your clothes and whatever you need. OK?’ Bridget checked her watch. ‘What time do you think you’ll be ready?’

They quickly agreed on a time to meet and Bridget gave her the address.

Ending the call, she took several deep breaths and considered praying.

‘What was that about?’

Connor’s voice rang out in the stillness of his loft, startling her so that she dropped her phone.

She slid to her knees as much to avoid looking at him as to get the phone.

‘One of my students is being harassed.’ She decided that the truth, even if partial, was better than lying. ‘I’m having her stay with me for a while.’

She wasn’t telling him everything. He could feel it in his gut. See it in the way that she wouldn’t truly meet his eyes.

Stop it, he told himself. You’re being paranoid.

Connor pulled the T-shirt he was carrying over his head and took a deep breath to calm down. His frustration was getting harder and harder to contain with Bridget. It was obvious she wasn’t telling him everything.

Talking with her was a lot like trying to trap a drop of water. She rolled and moved every time he tried to pin her down. The messed-up thing was that he couldn’t pinpoint why he really felt this way. So far everything she’d ever said to him was borne out. She lived up to her word and kept her promises.

It was true that their sex life hadn’t progressed the way he’d hoped, but the sex was still really good. He just wanted more, and felt like an ass for not being satisfied. She was beautiful. Sexy. She wanted to please him and he felt certain she
was
trying. It was just that he felt a wall.

Some inexplicable barrier that he could feel, but couldn’t see. It was always there. Even now.

‘Who’s harassing her?’ He scrutinised her face. There were fine lines of stress around her eyes and she was practically wringing her hands.

‘My boss.’ She tossed her phone on the coffee table and sat on the sofa. Daisy came over and sat next to her. Lotus barely twitched on her bed.

Bridget absently rubbed her dog’s head as she continued. ‘Apparently, he’s been at it for a while and now she’s pregnant.’ He saw tears in her eyes. ‘She came to me for help and I’m still trying to figure out how to help her in a fashion that will allow her to keep her scholarship.’

‘What does her scholarship have to do with this?’

‘He’s holding it over her head. He’s the dean of my department and he’s threatening to fail her.’

‘Damn, that bites.’ He sat next to her and took her hand. One thing that he enjoyed about her was how much she cared about her students. ‘Do you have any ideas?’

‘No, not a one,’ she said and squeezed his hand. ‘I need to find a way to expose him that can’t be disputed while not putting Skyler or –’ She jumped a little and bit her lip.

‘What?’ he brought her hand to his lips and kissed the soft skin. Tension tightened his chest. He felt certain she wasn’t telling him everything.

Anger surged, bright and hot, but he fought it. Something was not right and it was driving him crazy, but he had no grounds to call her out without making himself look like a completely insecure dick.

‘Nothing.’ She leaned in and kissed him gently. ‘I just had a moment of inspiration. I think I know what I’m going to do.’

‘Care to share?’

‘Not yet. I need to think it through more.’

She smiled at him and straddled his lap, taking his face between her hands and kissing him thoroughly. She still only rarely initiated any sexual encounter between them and he should be thrilled. In this instant, he felt manipulated.

Too bad his dick had no issue with that. He was hard and ready. Just like he always was when it came to Bridget. He wanted to fling her over his shoulder and give her a good spanking for so obviously holding back.

What was it going to take for her to understand that they couldn’t go any further if she didn’t truly open up to him? Some days he didn’t think he could rein in his frustration. He worried his temper would get the better of him. He was an easy-going guy in general, but she was kryptonite to his self-control.

She reached between them and cupped his bulge, pulling his mind away from his ruminations. Lust flowed through him and he knew he wasn’t going to stop just as he knew he wasn’t going to pressure her.

He loved her too much.

The knowledge that he loved her should have been a relief; instead, his eyes burned and he felt as if he were even further away from her. Reaching up, he gently gripped her head and deepened the kiss, slowly taking control. He stood, wrapping her legs around his waist, and walked over to the bed where he proceeded to show her as carnally as possible exactly how he felt.

As he buried himself gently inside her, he did his best to pretend he didn’t feel his hope slowly draining away.

Chapter Twenty-two

‘That should do it.’ Nico handed Bridget her bag and flashed his dimples at her. ‘You’re finally joining the rest of us in the 21st century, huh, Professor.’

Bridget grinned back at her former student. ‘You always were a smartass, weren’t you.’

‘True –’ the dimples deepened ‘– but I was also your best student.’

‘That you were.’ She settled her purchases on her arm, doing her best to quiet the adrenaline rush pulsing in her veins at the realisation that she was about to put something in motion that she wouldn’t be able to take back once it was done.

‘How are Gina and the baby doing?’

His face, usually so angular and austere, softened at the mention of his wife and newborn daughter. The flash of jealousy Bridget felt shamed her. No matter how hard she tried, she could never fully accept the knowledge that she’d never be a mother.

‘They’re great. We’re not getting much sleep yet, but Cara is amazing. And Gina, she was born to be a mother.’

‘Oh Nico.’ She gripped his forearm, ‘I’m so happy for you.’ She was pleased to see she meant it.

‘Thanks, Prof.’ He walked with her over to the door. ‘Listen, do you need any help setting everything up?’

Bridget shook her head. ‘Nope.’ She adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder and pushed open the door, saying over her shoulder, ‘I’m sure I can figure it all out.’

‘OK then.’ He nodded at the customers who walked in as Bridget left. ‘Feel free to call me if you have any questions.’

‘Will do, sugar,’ she called out as she waved goodbye. She wouldn’t, though. She wasn’t going to involve him any more than she already had.

Bridget strolled down Main Street to her Mustang doing her best to be discreet. She didn’t want to see anyone she knew, especially Evan, who should be at Bibliophile right now.

Yup, there he was. She ducked into the natural grocery across the street and waited for him to finish whatever he was doing to the display in his front window. As she watched, Claire entered the store. In the instant he noticed his wife, he was transformed. His focus lasered in on her and he took her in his arms and kissed her as if she were the breath in his chest.

When he released her, Claire smiled, but her face lacked its usual sparkle. She looked drawn and pale. Bridget’s heart squeezed to see her friend in such obvious pain. Still, the love she and Evan shared was plain to see. She hoped to have that herself one day. Connor’s face flashed through her mind. She smiled. There were definite possibilities there. As long as she handled this ugly business first. She wanted to be able to focus on Connor and she couldn’t do that with Whittier breathing down her neck.

She’d almost spilled the beans about it all to Connor that morning, but something had stopped her. On one level, she understood that she really had no good reason to keep this from him. But, on the other hand, she felt as if she needed to keep this to herself.

He kept her so off balance she needed to feel as if she had complete control in one area of her life.

Didn’t she?

A horn blared, startling her out of her thoughts. She peered through the grocer’s display window to ensure that Claire and Evan were gone. The coast was clear so she hot-footed it over to her car. There were plans to be made. Stashing her packages in the trunk, she headed home to tell Skyler what they were going to do.

‘You’re sure about this?’ Skyler furiously twirled a lock of her ponytail around her fingers.

‘As I can be.’ Bridget sipped the sweet tea she’d poured for them as they talked. ‘Obviously, I’ve never done this before and there is some risk.’

‘Ya think?’ Skyler smirked before tossing back her own tea as if it were something much stronger.

Bridget reached across the table and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

‘You don’t have to do this. We could report him to the authorities. Or I could be the one to do it.’

Skyler squeezed Bridget’s hand hard, but shook her head. ‘No, if you do it, it will be too easy to claim you set him up. Me, though, once I tell him I kept the baby, he’ll lose it. His reaction will be too over the top for anyone to protect him.’

A tremor ran through Skyler and Bridget wanted to wrap her up and protect her from all this ugliness.

‘How are you doing, sugar?’ She released Skyler’s hand and began clearing the dinner dishes from the table.

‘OK, I guess.’ She joined Bridget at the sink and began drying the dishes as Bridget washed them. ‘I still haven’t told anyone yet. I don’t want to burden my parents with this when I still don’t know what’s going to happen with Dale.’

‘That’s understandable.’

Bridget wanted to say so much more, but what could she really say? Skyler needed her support more than she needed a lecture. Besides, a small worm of censure was wriggling up Bridget’s spine at the hypocrisy of advising Skyler on total disclosure when she wasn’t telling Connor everything.

‘Professor?’

‘Hmm?’

Bridget wrung out the sponge and joined Skyler in putting the dishes in the cabinet.

‘Thank you for this.’ Her voice broke and Bridget took the cup from her hands and set it on the counter before enveloping her in a hug.

‘Of course, sugar. You can stay here as long as you like.’

Skyler sniffled and pulled away, shaking her head. ‘I couldn’t do that. You don’t need a single mom and a newborn here.’

‘Skyler.’ Bridget’s voice was firm. ‘Sit down for a second.’ She pointed at the table.

Skyler raised an eyebrow, but sat nevertheless.

‘I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone.’ That eyebrow shot even higher, but she waited for Bridget to continue. ‘I can’t have children. Well, I guess the more accurate phrase is it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever carry a child to term. Complications during an abortion left me with too much scar tissue, and even if I ever manage to conceive, I’ll likely not be able to carry it.’

Skyler started to speak, but Bridget waved her off.

‘My circumstances were a little different than yours in that I was raped. That’s how I conceived.’

Shock and anger replaced the sympathy that had been welling in Skyler’s face, but Bridget just squeezed her hand.

‘It was a long time ago, don’t worry about it.’ Taking a deep breath, she continued, ‘I had an allergic reaction to the anaesthesia and had a seizure. The end result is … I’ll never be a mother. I also had no one to turn to. My parents, while they love me, would not have handled the knowledge of the rape well, let alone the abortion. They’d have demanded I kept it and I wasn’t willing to do that.’

She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, ‘Look, hon, I’m not trying to burden you with my past, I’m simply trying to give you context to understand that when I say you can stay here as long as you need, I mean it. You contribute as you can, but you have a safe place here – for you and the baby – as long as you need it.’

Skyler stared at Bridget for several moments before bursting into sobs. Hard, gut-wrenching sobs.

‘Honey.’ Bridget moved over to put an arm around her shoulders. ‘Shh,’ she murmured soothingly. Soon, Skyler settled enough to splash cold water on her face.

Turning, she said, ‘Thank you, Professor.’ She grabbed Bridget and hugged her fiercely.

Laughing as she struggled to catch her breath, Bridget hugged her back and said, ‘Call me, Bridget, hon. I think we’re past Professor.’