Authors: Ahren Sanders
“Baby, Cara had a miscarriage. She didn’t know she was pregnant. The doctors said she was about ten weeks along. She’s broken up about it. Even without knowing she was pregnant, she’s hysterical. They did what they could to calm her down but she needs you.”
Shit! Pregnant? Miscarriage? My baby sister? She was drunk
and
pregnant? What the fuck!
“Reed, listen to me. I feel your mind buzzing. I talked to Cara. She didn’t know she was pregnant because she has never had normal periods. She goes on those crazy diets and her eating schedules mess with her body. She broke up with her last boyfriend a month ago and she hasn’t been with anyone else. Even though she didn’t know, she is a mess. She needs her family, especially her big brother.”
Several emotions cross my mom’s face when I look at her. I recognize her motherly instinct immediately and I know. We can’t tell Cara about Davis yet. It would be too raw and painful.
Cara’s always been very naïve and vulnerable, but she is sweet. She’s hurting and I can’t flaunt my perfect son in front of her when she just lost her child.
“Ok Mom, let’s keep Davis and all the shit in my life quiet for a few weeks. But do we even know the fuckhead who got her pregnant? Should I be prowling around to kick his ass?”
“No, baby boy. You’re sister broke up with him. They dated for about two months; he was too nice and clean cut for her.” Mom rolls her eyes and a text comes through on my phone.
When I see the picture, my mouth goes dry. Ari is spinning Davis in a circle on the beach and they both are smiling widely. The caption reads:
This is Sophie; we’re having a great time. Thanks for the house for the day. Ari will kill me when she figures out I sent this.
Ari looks amazing in her bright blue bikini and I have to turn away to adjust my pants.
“Is that him? Is that my grandson?” Mom’s words break through my thoughts.
“Yeah, Mom, but it’s both of them.”
“Well, let me see!”
I show her the pic and her eyes fill with tears again. “He’s you. He’s so you with her smile. God, he’s beautiful.”
“I know, Mom, but now’s not the ti—”
“Hush! Leave this phone with me and go see your sister. She needs you and I need this. I promise not to embarrass you.”
I open my mouth to argue, but honestly, it’s not worth it.
Cara’s tiny body lies under a thin sheet and she appears to be sleeping when I open the door. Her wrist is set in a soft cast laying across her stomach.
Sitting silently in the chair against the wall, I stare at her, my heart hurting for the pain she is in right now. Her wrist is the least of my worries. Bones heal, hell I have enough breaks to prove that. But her heart is so fragile. My little sister has always needed attention and love. When we lost my dad, she was barely thirteen and didn’t understand the devastation my mom and I went through. We tried to shield her, but eventually she saw through us and took our pain on top of hers.
When she hit high school, she became rebellious and started hanging with the wrong crowd. I was a senior but tried my best to watch out for her. Her attitude became unbearable and I was actually relieved when I went to FSU. I tried to let her find her own way but be firm too. We fought all the time, but finally made amends my senior year when she decided she wanted to transfer.
During the time I thought Ari left me, she was my rock. She wanted to go after her, but I stopped her. The whole week she stayed with me, it was like old times. Her attitude was okay even thought that fuckhead Mitch had just broken her heart. We went out a few times, but mostly we hung by ourselves and I showed her around campus. My dream of her and Ari being friends was gone, but I still introduced her to some people I thought may be a good influence.
Things have been good the last few years. I don’t see her as much as I like, but we’re busy. She has yet to find a career position, changing her mind about her goals every six months. But she seemed level headed and on the right track so I didn’t push. This miscarriage has the chance to put her back into the dark place she was in while in high school. Cara is not a strong woman. She is shy and constantly seeking acceptance and reassurance.
My mind wonders to Ari and how much she could teach my baby sister. They are close in age but yet so different in maturity. There is no doubt that I want Ari in my life forever. Not as the mother of my child, but as the woman who owns me. I need to get Cara and her together soon, even if Cara is in a delicate place.
“Reed?”
Jumping up, I shake out of my trance. “Hey, Care Bear, how are you doing?”
Her lips start to tremble and tears spill out of her eyes. Her small body starts to shake with sobs and I move to hold her. She cries against my chest unashamed and I rub my free hand down her arm trying to sooth her. Eventually she starts to hiccup and her chest calms down.
I grab the box of tissue from the food tray and get her a glass of water.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“How did I not know? I was carrying a baby. A human life! What the fuck is wrong with me?” She starts to get hysterical again.
“Sweetie, I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine how you feel right now, but it will get better.”
“I feel empty, Reed, empty. I know that sounds ridiculous since I didn’t know I was even pregnant.”
“Honey, I may sound like an asshole, but do you want to let the father of the baby know.”
Her eyes grow wide and fill with tears again. Then she nods her head. “Yeah, he needs to know. It won’t do much good now, but I owe him that. He was a nice guy.”
“Maybe it’s time you do nice and let the losers go. You deserve happiness.”
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black. Who’s the last ‘nice’ girl you dated?”
Looking away because I don’t have an answer, I walked straight into that one. How in the world are we talking about this right now? But a part of me wants to take the hurt away from her for a few minutes.
“Actually, I’ve met someone. Well, not really met, I re—”
“Cara! You’re awake!” My mom comes in and interrupts. She moves to the other side of the bed and runs her hand over Cara’s cast softly.
“Yeah, Mom,” her small hand clutches mine and she starts to get upset again.
“Listen, I saw a Panera around the corner. Let me go get us lunch.”
Both women nod and give me their orders. My mom hands me back my phone discreetly and I leave the hospital.
As I wait for our order at Panera, I flip through my messages and see Sophie and my mom actually talked. The timer says they talked for eight minutes, which makes me nervous. The attendant calls my number and hands me the food. When I get into the car, I call Ari but get her voicemail.
“Hey, babe. I saw Cara and she’s going to be fine. I think I’ll hang around a few days and be back Tuesday. I’d like to tell Davis goodnight before he goes to bed later. Will you call me? It’s been a shit day and my sister had some crazy news. Tell you about it when I see you. I lo—” Shit I hang up before I finish. She’s going to freak. Did I almost tell her I love her on a voicemail? What a fucking tool.
Walking into my mom’s house, I fall onto the sofa, exhausted. Cara’s doctor is keeping her overnight because she has a severe headache and they want to watch her after the D&C procedure. She finally asked for something for the pain and to help her sleep. We left as soon as she closed her eyes and promised to be back tomorrow morning. Besides getting lunch, I only left the hospital room once, to take Davis’s call.
Hearing his voice was exactly what I needed to help with my shitty day. He babbled on for five minutes telling me about the beach. I was glad to know he found all the new beach toys I left on the porch. I promised him we would go again next weekend.
When Ari got on the phone, my pulse started racing. Her perfect fucking sexy as hell voice made me forget I was standing in the hallway at a hospital. I gave her a brief version on what happened with Cara, but left out the miscarriage because I wanted to tell her in person. She didn’t mention my blunder on her voice message this morning, which made me wonder if she even heard it. We only talked for a few minutes before she had to go but I promised to be back no later than Tuesday.
“Reed, I know you’re exhausted, but we need to talk.” Mom hands me a beer and sits across from me on the couch.
“About what?”
“A lot has changed in the last month. I was in shock when you called me Friday night. Now that it has sunk in, I worry about you. What do you think? How are you feeling? What are you going to do?”
“Not sure if I can explain it. The way I felt when I saw Davis and then Ari almost brought me to my knees. She’s so fucking amazing. All she sacrificed and went through—it’s unbelievable. Davis is an incredible little boy. All these years, I’ve been given everything on a silver platter. She’s had to work so hard and had very little help. She’s got a great support system, but I should have been there. We don’t talk about it much, but I can’t figure out who in the hell wanted to break us up. I never had a girlfriend before her so it wasn’t like I had broken hearts around campus. She had dated a guy her sophomore year, but he was harmless. A part of me thinks it’s a huge fucking coincidence we broke up on the day she found out she was pregnant.
“What I’m going to do now, is spend the rest of my life making up for my absence in their lives. Ari was very hesitant at first when I showed up, but she has dropped her guard. Her friends and family have been accepting of me as well. I don’t deserve it, but I thank God for it.”
“Have y’all discussed what comes next? You’ve got a life in Jacksonville. How is it going to work?”
“Shit, mom, I don’t know. We’ve been living day by day. If I tell her what I want, she’ll run liked a scared jackrabbit. I have a lot to prove before we have that conversation.”
“Reed, I hate to even bring this up, but have you thought about measures to protect yourself?”
Shock hits me. “What are you saying?”
“There’s no doubt that little boy belongs to you. But is Ari going to use your love for him against you? Is there any way she is going to come after you for money or extort the story in the public?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” My blood starts to boil.
“Don’t look so shocked! You are a rich, famous, respected football player. Certainly, you’ve thought about it.”
“No, Mom, I haven’t. Ari doesn’t have a vindictive bone in her body. She would never come after me for money.”
“Maybe not now, but—”
“What the fuck does that mean? Stop pussyfooting around and just tell me what you’re trying to say.”
“Right now, things are new and fresh. You’ve reconnected with an old girlfriend and found out about your son. But the newness is going to wear off and your lives are so different. How is she going to handle it when football season starts and you don’t have every day and night to dedicate to them? What about when you don’t have a posh beach house to offer for the summer? You need to be careful how you handle this. If you start dating someone serious, she may try to hold Davis against you. I think it would be smart to take measures to protect yourself. Call your lawyer.”
“Unfuckingbelievable.” I hiss.
“I hardly think I’m being unreasonable. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Respect, mom, but you’re out of line. Let me tell you about yesterday. Ari’s best friend Luke came over to tell me he tried to intervene on my behalf a few weeks before the draft. You know what he did? He took a chance and went straight to Jack, telling him about the baby. He gave him the choice to tell me. Jack chose not too because he wanted to ‘protect’ me from a scam. So I’m a little hesitant about the people who supposedly love me trying to protect me.”
“You can’t be serious. Jack chose to keep that from you?”
“Motherfucker had the balls to ask me if Davis was even mine.”
She sucks in a breath and stares at me.
“Let me tell you now, Ari isn’t after my money. The beach house is a rental but if I thought she wanted one, I would buy it for her. I don’t think you understand. Ari’s the one who should call a lawyer. I’m going after her with everything I’ve got. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Apparently, I didn’t make it clear in college but I was in love with her. She wasn’t a fly by night girlfriend that was a filler until I went pro. I had planned on proposing to her as soon as I knew where I was going to end up. She was going to uproot her whole life to follow me. I guess I did a shitty job of letting everyone know how much she meant to me.”
“I had no idea.”
“Piece of advice, Mom, and this is going to be harsh. Don’t ever disrespect Ari like that again. Not only did it hurt me, but also if she knew you felt that way about her, it would severely damage your relationship. She holds all the cards here and I stand by her. If you want to know your grandson, you’d better have a better opinion of his mother.”
“I’m sorry.” Tears spill down my mom’s cheeks making me feel like shit.
“We’ve had a rough day. I’m gonna hit the sack. If I think Cara’s okay when we get her home tomorrow, I’m heading back.”
“Can’t you stay another night? I hate the feeling that I’ve upset you and you’re leaving.”