“
Me?” Eran’s head jolted back in confusion.
No one spoke. Our heads swiveled back and forth, staring at each other, unable to find the words racing through our minds.
“
But his attempts have centered on Magdalene.”
“
Yes, and there’s a good reason for it,” Gershom said and then spoke with absolute clarity to ensure his message was clear. “Abaddon can’t feel you.”
Understanding lit up Eran’s eyes. “But he can feel Magdalene.”
“
And where Maggie is, he knows he’ll find you,” Gershom summed it up.
“
But…his plans have always involved trying to kill Magdalene,” Eran challenged.
“
Because he knows it would destroy you. He feels he has suffered the worst punishment imaginable for himself. He wants to deliver the same fate to you. Maggie’s death would mean two things…Failure as a guardian and that failure would send Maggie to her eternal death. She would pay the ultimate price for your failure and you would live the rest of eternity living with that fact.”
Stunned to silence, we simply stared back at Gershom, who waited for us to process what we’d just been told.
“
All this time…centuries…and I thought…” Eran blinked back his amazement. “How could I have not known…”
“
I wouldn’t blame yourself,” said Gershom. “Abaddon is conniving and inexplicable. I spent over two hundred years with him and he still baffles me. I wouldn’t expect you to know much about him.”
“
Gershom? Can I have a moment alone with Magdalene?”
“
Of course, I won’t disturb you again. I’m sorry. I-I just thought…I’m glad we at least understand that much now.”
“
And we do appreciate it,” Eran consoled.
“
Yes, we do,” I added, nodding vehemently, not wanting him to question what he’d just done. Because, in fact, he’d just given us a better understanding of who Abaddon was and why he acted the way he did.
Gershom left then but not before he returned to his typical sheepish nature, lobbing across the room and clumsily closing the door.
Eran sighed and took both my hands in his, holding them firmly and with such intensity I expected a shock to come through them.
“
You are the most important-”
“
I know, Eran. You don’t have to tell me.”
He opened his mouth to speak and no words came out.
“
You have nothing to be ashamed of,” I said, already understanding his worry.
“
I am the reason you are in danger,” he said, anger brewing beneath the surface.
In an effort to keep it from overflowing, I replied, “He is the reason I am in danger. You are the victim, Eran. He murdered
you
.” I paused, remembering the image, the pain of watching it happen, and I shuddered against it.
Eran drew me to his arms, wrapping them around me, securing me to him. My own arms slipped around his waist as I tucked my head against his shoulder.
“
I’ll protect you,” he reinforced, his breath rustling my hair before he tilted his chin and gently placed a kiss at the top of my head.
“
It was somehow easier when I thought he was after just me. I didn’t have to worry as much.” Already my instinct was to protect Eran, an irony considering his defensive skills far surpassed mine.
I guess…now I know what you go through each day,” I whispered against his skin, noticing how worried my voice sounded.
“
The fear of knowing someone is intent on killing the one you love?” he asked, restating my thought.
“
Yes, it’s a potent emotion.”
Eran sighed heavily. “Yes it is.”
“
Watching him…when he slid that knife…that knife across your throat…” I consciously pushed aside the nub growing in my throat. I will not cry, I told myself, repeating it once more before I spoke again. “It was the most devastating episode of my existence…”
Eran responded with a tightening of his arms around me.
“
All those times you took my life, even in an effort to save me from final death…I never knew…what you’d gone through. I never understood the horror. But I do now…”
“
I’m so sorry you do,” he said, his voice chocked.
“
I never want to see it again, Eran. In this body or any other.” I paused then, determination rushing through me. “I’m going back in.”
“
To Abaddon?” Eran asked with a jolt. “No, Magdalene.”
Before he could get farther down that path of thinking, I corrected him. “Not Abaddon’s life. I reviewed a good portion of his and found nothing. But there may be a clue in one of his follower’s past lives.”
Eran quieted but remained tense nonetheless. “Sarai…Elam…”
“
Achan…” I joined him in unison.
I allowed Eran to come to terms with this new plan before asking something that I desperately needed to know. “Before…Before I go in, I want to know…Did anyone else hurt you? Is Abaddon the only one?” I wasn’t sure if I could handle reliving that pain again.
Eran’s answer was somewhat relieving. “No, Magadalene. Of that group, only Abaddon took my life.”
“
Of that group…” I repeated in a mumble. The fact he’d distinguished the end of his lives at the hands of others in that way disturbed me. How much pain had Eran endured throughout his existence?
“
Magdalene?” He drew my attention.
“
Yes?” I answered softly.
“
While the ends of my lives haven’t been…pleasant, the rest of the time was extraordinary…because I’ve spent it with you.”
That brought a smile to my face and I pressed myself closer to his chest, enjoying the rise and fall of his breaths. “Every second with you is a gift.”
He didn’t respond but I sensed him smiling.
Then, as an afterthought and in an effort to prepare me for what was to come, he added, “Please don’t think watching the lives of Abaddon’s followers will be any easier.”
“
Oh, I wouldn’t fool myself in to thinking that. I’ve dealt with them enough to know.”
“
Yes, you have.”
“
I’m not worried so much about what I’ll see as about finding what we need. What if we don’t find a clue and Abaddon attacks again? What happens then? To the Alterums? To us?”
He shushed me quietly. “Let me worry about that. You focus on helping us locate Abaddon. I’ll prepare the Alterums for what is coming.”
“
We just need to do it quickly,” I urged softly.
“
Yes,” Eran agreed, hesitant. “Our time…” He heaved a deep sigh. “Our time is running out.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: SARAI
Knowing our time was limited and that Abaddon could strike us any day, I tried every hour to fall back to sleep. But my last attempt hadn’t ended well and my subconscious was consciously keeping me awake with images of what I’d seen the night before.
Brief recollections of the death and devastation Abaddon had caused flashed before my eyes and, despite the warmth of the room, I shivered. I even tried to read a few of the textbooks that Ezra had brought for me. It didn’t help. Even during intermittent attempts to lie down and fall asleep again, the images would come back…clearer, more distinct. It was maddening.
One good thing did come out of my hours awake, though. I’d already selected the next Fallen One’s scroll.
Sarai.
She had been close to her father and likely spent the most time with him. Therefore, she was the next most likely to provide some clue to his whereabouts now.
Throughout the day, Evelyn checked on me, inspecting my wound with a straight face and leaving me to wonder how well it was healing; my housemates who brought a breakfast of quail eggs and toast – which was surprisingly good; and Gershom.
By the time he visited, he already knew my plan, giving me the information I needed to relive Sarai’s past.
Ever true to his word, Eran joined the Alterums in the courtyard and helped Ms. Beedinwigg reinvent the training process, developing schedules for morning and evening sparing and lunchtime tutorials by Gershom on what to expect from his past cohorts.
With Eran’s assistance, it seemed as if everything came together, the pieces fell in place, and the Alterums began to learn rapidly how to defend against the Fallen Ones.
Later that evening, Eran brought the both of us a plate of food for dinner. Prepared by the cook on staff, the ingredients were decent and familiar.
“
Lamb stew and biscuits,” he announced placing the bowl in my hands.
“
Thanks,” I said.
Only the chewing and clanking of our spoons against the bowls could be heard for a few very long seconds. Then Eran’s hand came across the bed, from the edge where he was sitting beside me, and laid on my knee.
When I looked up, his expression was filled with compassion. “Just remember…
it isn’t real
. You are watching something that has already passed.”
He knew me so well…picking up my nervousness about tonight’s visit to Sarai’s past life.
I nodded, thankful. “Right. It isn’t real…”
“
You-”
“
I know,” I cut him off before he could say the words. A clue to Abaddon’s hiding place could be close. I couldn’t stop now.
“
How are the Alterum’s doing?” I asked, trying to take both our minds off the subject dominating us.
Eran nodded, more to himself but pleased. “Christianson is strong and quick. Agile too. Philius…the short one who looks like a salamander…He’s stealthy…Would be good with reconnaissance…” Eran went on then to describe those who stood out to him in one way or another, defined by either their talent or their personality. It was helpful, not only to get to know the men he was working with and who might one day save our lives, but because it also took my mind off tonight.
Still, when the food was gone and Eran had exhausted his evaluations, there was no avoiding it. As I laid my head down on Eran’s chest, just as I’d done the night before, my eyes refused to close.
The window allowed the moon’s light in and I could see the outline of Eran’s body beneath me, stretching out towards the end of the bed. His legs were long, almost reaching to the point where his heels hung off the side. They were also muscular. Even through the covers keeping the cold off us, I could see their definition, the solid build of a fighter’s body.
While I knew he couldn’t come with me on this visit, I credit him for giving me the strength to dismiss my nerves. He didn’t know it but the very fact that his tough, sturdy body was so close to mine gave me the comfort I needed to close my eyes and ward off the horrible images of Abaddon’s life.
When I opened my eyes, I was back in the Hall of Records. Wasting no time, I found and pulled Sarai’s scroll from the wall. It was under ‘P’ for Paris, France, where she’d last died as a human, before falling.
Sarai Rautenstrauch – Died Paris, France January 8, 1535
Sarai Rautenstrauch – Fallen Paris, France January 8, 1535
Sarai Rautenstrauch – Eternal Death Bavarian Alps February 10, 2011
Just like her father, she had lived only one lifetime on earth as a human, having fallen after the body she had existed in came to its end. And she did it the same day she died.
It was a choice of fate I could not understand.
Placing my finger over her name, I swiped and was instantly transported through the tunnel that was now so well-known to me.
When I landed in Sarai’s body, I immediately felt different. Unlike Abaddon’s body, which was stiff and restrained, hers was languid, flexible. It felt as if I could bend backwards and finish a marathon that way.
Sarai’s back was arched, actually, but only a little. She was leaning seductively against the wall of a busy street corner, one hand at the side of her chin, playing with the edge of the hood she wore.
As her eyes scrutinized the street, or more precisely the men on the street, I was able to catch a good look at her surroundings.
From the signs mounted over the doors of various shops, I deduced that she was in France and, from the size of the streets and the number of the horse drawn carriages, that it was Paris.
It was the middle of the day and those around her were committed to their errands, all except the older male gender. They had noticed her, or the rather tight bodice she wore, and she knew it.
Exhilaration pumping through her, she pushed herself off the wall and ambled along the street, keeping an awareness of the men around her.
“
Mademoiselle,” one called out from behind her but she refused to turn.
“
Mademoiselle,” he said again, more urgently.
Finally, he reached her, stepping up alongside and bending forward to peer inside her hood. As he did, he stepped back, stunned.
He made a sound of surprise and then turned and headed off across the street.
It wasn’t so much his reaction that astonished me but Sarai’s. Her joy was instantly washed away when the man had gotten a look at her beneath the hood.
Curiosity gnawed at me then, wondering how anyone could react with such repulsion after seeing Sarai. Remembering her too clearly, I knew her beauty was awe-inspiring. This man, on the other hand, had clearly been repulsed.