RAW (4 page)

Caelyn laughed and shook her head. “Why would I go into Deena’s room? I can’t stand the sight of her, the last thing I want to do is be anywhere she spends most of her time.”

“I don’t know, I just thought I heard her door opening and closing.”

“That was my door. We’re right next to each other.”

Her mother’s eyes told Caelyn that she didn’t believe the excuse, but it didn’t really matter.

“Oh. I probably imagined it, then.”

“I’ll be out of the bathroom in a minute,” Caelyn said. “And then do you want to take a walk around the neighborhood together?”

Her mother’s eyes widened. “That would be lovely.”

Caelyn smiled. “Great.”

She wasn’t sure where she was even going with all of this. But somehow it made sense. Gain her parents’ trust. Act like she’d accepted defeat, even as she plotted her next attack.

She ran the water and washed her face at the sink. Part of her wondered if she was going crazy. After all, Elijah was definitely going back to jail for a long time. They wouldn’t let him off the hook after he’d already had a brush with the law for violating his parole.

This would be violation number two.

He was in jail and Caelyn needed to accept that fact. There were no moves to make, nothing that happened between her and her parents would change that fact.

But something inside of her told her that she needed to be on the alert for opportunities, whatever they might be. She would get her freedom and she would fight to see Elijah again and be with him. No matter how long she had to wait.

***

It hit Caelyn hard later that day.

I can’t do this without him. I can’t do it.

She was sitting in her room again, listening to her sister and father and mother downstairs talking. Once more, she had the distinct feeling that she’d gone back in time and was somehow watching her old life with new eyes.

Deena had been at the “library” for probably three or four hours. Finally, she’d returned home, flaunting her happiness and freedom while Caelyn had to sit and listen and keep quiet.

Well, if I don’t like it, I can always go down there and tell them the truth about
Deena.

But Caelyn knew the time wasn’t right yet.

She paced slowly in her room, going to the window and looking out at the empty street. She recalled once again how, not long ago, Elijah’s truck had been parked out front and he’d come for her.

Tears sprang to her eyes.

Where is he? What’s he doing? Why hasn’t he called me?

The last time he’d gone to jail, he’d called her. But this time, nothing. Maybe he’d simply come to the conclusion that with this much time away from each other, there wasn’t any point in maintaining contact.

Maybe he didn’t think she’d want to keep talking to him, or perhaps he felt he was doing her a favor by disappearing from her life.

But Caelyn refused to believe any of that. She kept staring out the window as if by force of will, by simply praying and begging the empty sky above, she could make him appear again.

She saw Elijah in her mind’s eye, walking with a confident swagger through the prison halls. There were men watching him walk past their cells, big and angry men with tattoos and scowls. They watched him, muttering, spitting.

Elijah just grinned and walked on, confident and sure of himself even in the worst of places.

He’d spent enough time in prison; Caelyn wasn’t worried about whether he could handle it or not.

She was worried whether she could.

Each second dragged out, feeling like days. The thought of enduring this torture for a year or two or three…

“I can’t,” she gasped. “Please, I can’t.”

And then came the footsteps on the stairs, and a light knock on the door. It was her mother. She opened it just a few inches in peered in to find Caelyn at the window.

“Are you okay?”

Caelyn nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Yeah.”

“You should come downstairs with us.”

“I can’t. Not right now.”

“Because of Deena?” her mother asked, using this as an excuse to open the door wider and step into Caelyn’s room.

“Because of a lot of things.”

“We don’t want you to feel excluded anymore, Caelyn.” Her mother was pleading once again. “We want you to be part of this family.”

Caelyn had to restrain an angry laugh and kept the smirk from her face. “I’m trying my best, Mom. But I can’t be…I just can’t be around Deena right now. Not after what she did to Elijah.”

“He stole from her, Caelyn.”

“No he didn’t. Elijah would never have done that.”

“I understand why it’s easier for you to believe that your sister did it. But that’s simply not true. And if you hold that grudge, it’s going to eat away at you forever.”

“Mom, I’m trying my best,” Caelyn said, her emotions starting to get the better of her. “The person I love is in jail and I’m surrounded by the same ones who wanted him there. It’s not easy.”

“I know it’s not easy. But you should try and see that we want what’s best for you, even if we made mistakes. Tomorrow, we’ll start bringing you back to physical therapy again. And you’ll also start seeing a psychologist.”

“You made me an appointment with a psychologist?”

“You need to work towards being healthy.” Her mother folded her arms.

“I’m so sick of you thinking you can just run my life,” Caelyn said. “And protecting Deena instead of protecting me.”

“This isn’t about your sister.”

“Well maybe it is.” Caelyn glared at her mother, who glared right back at her.

“Maybe for you it is.”

“Could you please leave my room now?”

Her mother shook her head. “This wasn’t why I came in here. I came—“

“I know why you came in here,” Caelyn said, raising her voice. “You want me to pretend everything’s back to normal. You want me to put on an act like everyone else does in this family. But I can’t. Not now, anyway.”

Her mother’s mouth puckered. “Fine. Have it your way, Caelyn.” She turned and shut the door.

Moments later, Caelyn could hear them murmuring and talking in low, almost secretive voices. Deena sounded like she was consoling them.

Caelyn thought about the evidence she possessed, something that would completely change the way her parents saw Deena. And not for the better.

The urge to tell them everything grew and grew until she nearly burst.

Not yet
, the little voice whispered inside her.

It’s not time yet.

When? How long do I have to wait before I see her paid back for what she did to
him?

Soon. Soon.

***

Caelyn continued to sit in front of the window a long time, as the shadows lengthened outside, she stared out at the empty street, thinking about Elijah and the past.

Thinking about how things might have been different.

But they weren’t different. And she was stuck.

Eventually, fatigue overtook her, and Caelyn crawled back into bed, curling up into a ball and drifting as darkness and shadow overtook her.

When she was close to sleep, the visions of Elijah became clearer, more vivid.

She held onto her visions, and the pleasure that came with seeing him again.

Even hearing him.

His mouth twisting up into that oh so familiar grin. “Hey kid, why so glum?”

“I just miss you,” she told him. “Don’t go anywhere. Stay with me, promise?”

“Why would I go anywhere?”

“This isn’t real and I don’t want to wake up.”

Elijah came closer still. “It is real,” he said, reaching out and caressing her cheek with his hand. She could smell soap and when she took his hand and pressed it to her lips, it was just as he said. It felt completely real.

Why couldn’t this be real
? She asked herself.

Because, you’re dreaming.

“Don’t lose faith in me,” Elijah said, leaning so close that their lips were practically touching. His eyes stared into hers. “I’ll never stop thinking about you, so if you don’t stop thinking about me—our minds will be like one.”

“I hope so,” she cried.

“Don’t be sad, Caelyn.”

“I miss your voice. I miss you touching me. I can’t be away from you for so long. When will you come back?”

“How do you know I’m not back already?” he said.

“Because, Elijah, you’re in jail.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Your phone’s ringing,” he said.

“No, it’s not.”

“Listen.” He chuckled.

Her phone was, in fact, buzzing. She heard it distinctly. But it wasn’t buzzing in the dream. She knew it was really happening. “I don’t want to wake up, Elijah.”

“You are awake,” he said.

And then she did in fact snap awake, her eyes opening suddenly, staring up at the ceiling. Caelyn’s breath caught in her throat. The dream had felt so incredibly real that it was like losing Elijah all over again.

She turned to see her phone sitting on the nightstand beside her bed, vibrating against her clock. She grabbed at it, fumbling.

It was a text from an unknown number.

Is your light on?

She stared at her phone as if it had spoken to her. Her mind scrambled for a reason why the text message said what it said. That was the same text Elijah had sent her when he’d come to her house last time.

The next text said:
Second window on the left?

Now she was sure it was Deena playing some cruel joke. Her heart was racing as she texted back.

Who is this? Who are you? Deena?

But she didn’t see how Deena could have known about Elijah’s texts to her. It didn’t make any sense.

I couldn’t stay away
, the anonymous messenger replied.

This was simply too bizarre. Whoever it was, they were recycling the conversation word for word that Elijah and Caelyn had had in the past. Maybe it was some jerky cop who’d gotten ahold of Elijah’s cell phone.

She got up and went to the window, certain that she’d look out and see nothing but the cold hard glow of that lone streetlight. But it wasn’t just an empty street that greeted her gaze.

There was a dark sedan parked in front of her house.

Caelyn nearly cried out.

Who was out there? And why were they texting her those things?

Another text buzzed into her phone.
Come outside, I want to talk to you
.

Caelyn swallowed. It had to be a joke. It had to be some awful prank.

But what if it’s not?
She asked herself.
What if it’s really him?

He’s in jail. He’s in prison. There’s no way for it to be him, Caelyn. Whoever
that is, it’s not Elijah, as badly as you might want to believe it could be.

Still, her heart was pounding and she wanted it too much to resist. Seconds later, Caelyn was walking out of her room and down the stairs. She tripped, nearly falling and breaking her neck. But she caught herself on the railing, even though she did make a lot of noise in the process.

Crap. I hope I didn’t just wake everyone up.

But nobody stirred.

Soon, Caelyn was at the front door, opening it as quietly as possible, and then the cold night air was hitting her in the face and she was running across the lawn toward the car.

Who was inside?

She couldn’t see anything.

Caelyn was terrified, but at the same time, she didn’t have anything to lose.

When she got to the car door, she heard the power locks click loudly, as if the person inside was unlocking them. She bent down and peered into the window, but it was impossible to see inside. It was far too dark, even with the glow from the nearby streetlight.

She threw the door open.

“Hey, kid,” Elijah said. He leaned over and looked up at her with his dark eyes and half-smile. “So are you getting in or what?”

Caelyn cried out and stumbled, literally crawling into the car, feeling like she must still be dreaming.

Elijah helped to pull her inside.

Caelyn broke down sobbing as she touched his arms, felt his skin, his clothing, and then he was kissing her lips softly.

“Are you really here?” she said, shaking.

“What do you mean, am I really here?” he laughed. “Last I checked, I’m not a hallucination. Unless I’m hallucinating myself—which, lately, seems more and more a distinct possibility.”

Caelyn laughed too, through her tears. She touched his face, felt his beard stubble on his jaw. His dark eyes looked into hers.

“Elijah, how did you get out? They let you go? Dropped the charges?”

He took her hands in his own as he continued to stare at her with intensity and love and hunger. “Something like that.” He broke off and looked down for a moment.

When he looked at Caelyn again, the seriousness was back. “Can you come with me?”

She nodded instantly. “Anywhere.”

“It has to be right now,” Elijah said. He breathed deeply. “I totally understand if you can’t—“

“I would jump off a cliff right this second if you asked me.” She wasn’t joking and Elijah noticed.

He smirked. “Nothing that crazy,” he said. “At least, not yet. Maybe the cliff will come later. Thelma and Louise style.”

“I never saw that movie.”

“I just remember the ending,” Elijah laughed. “Them going off that damn cliff in the car. I think it was supposed to be happy—I don’t know.”

“I should probably go back inside and get a few things to bring with me,” Caelyn told him.

“I’ll come with you.”

“You’re joking, right?” she asked.

Elijah shook his head. “You’ve lost your sense of humor kid.” He stroked her cheek lightly, just as he had in the dream.

“It’s hard to keep my sense of humor with everything that’s happened lately.”

“Well you have to try. It’s the only thing that keeps me going.”

“Elijah. What are you doing here?” Caelyn asked again. “This doesn’t make sense.” She looked around, half-expecting hidden cameras to emerge from behind the trees and bushes.

But the street was totally silent and dark.