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I really wanted to offer to let her ride Stella, but I didn’t even know where she was.

“Let’s go, Shae,” her dad shouted out the driver’s window of the motorhome.

“Sorry,” I said again and handed her the stuffed bunny.

She held it by the neck like it was dead. “Yeah, me too.”

I reached for her elbow and made her turn to face me. “No. I’m really sorry you’re going to miss the competition. If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn’t have told Cole.”

“You shouldn’t have told Cole anyway. You promised you wouldn’t tell.”

“I didn’t promise that. I promised I wouldn’t do anything to Blake.”

“I told you I didn’t want anybody to know. I thought I could trust you.” Her voice wavered, on the verge of tears.

“He deserved it.”

“No he didn’t. Blake ran after me that night. He was going to walk me back to the motorhome, but I got into your truck before he had a chance to catch up. He apologized the next day and I forgave him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that when we talked on the phone?”

“It shouldn’t matter whether he apologized or not. You promised me.” She jerked her arm to make me let go of her elbow and walked towards the door.

“Shae-Lynn, come on. You know I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. I was just trying to do right by you.”

“Doing right by me would have been respecting my wishes and keeping your promises. Leave me alone, Billy. I don’t want to be friends with someone I can’t depend on.” She climbed the steps and slammed the door behind her.

They rolled out and I watched until they turned onto the main road and disappeared. I exhaled, not sure why it rattled me as much as it did. Eventually I wandered over to Mutt’s camper. He offered us beers. Cole declined, so I did too. Mutt stared at us confused for a second, but then he must have remembered why Cole couldn’t drink. “All right. Let’s play some poker.”

I sat down at the dinette table and threw my money on the table. “Everything okay?” Cole asked as he sat next to me.

“Yeah.”

He always knew when I was lying, but he didn’t push it, so either he didn’t want to get into it in front of the guys, or he didn’t care what was bugging me. He picked up his cards and bet. I didn’t even look at my cards — I called. I lost.

Lots of girls thought I was an asshole and it had never bothered me all that much before. There was something about the disappointed expression on Shae-Lynn’s face that I couldn’t get out of my head.

After we’d been playing cards for about an hour there was a knock at the camper door. Tyson got up and opened it. I couldn’t see her, but I could tell who asked, “Is Billy Ryan here?”

He turned and made his eyebrows dance up and down. “Someone’s here to see you, Billy.”

Cole had to slide along the bench to let me out. I didn’t really have the option of avoiding her, so I stood and put my hat on. “Deal me out.” I stepped out onto the grass and closed the door behind me.

Tawnie didn’t say anything. It seemed as if she was waiting for me to explain why I never called. She was wearing her sky blue hat and a jean jacket that matched. I tried to come up with something to say, but I had no idea what the right thing was. Eventually, I said, “I wasn’t expecting to see you. I thought you were going to Falkland.”

“I got mixed up.”

“How’s Stella?”

“She’s good. You can come by and see her tomorrow.” She shifted her weight to her right foot and hooked her thumbs in her back pocket. “Did you get my note and the cheque?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

It was a little too dark to tell for sure, but her eyes seemed a little glassy as if she was going to cry. “You must have been really busy.”

“Yeah. I was working two jobs and my brother was hospitalized, so it was kind of chaotic.”

“Hospitalized for what?”

“Uh, he had something like an allergic reaction.”

She shifted her weight to her left foot and sighed. After staring down at the ground for a few seconds, she glanced up at my face. “It felt like maybe we shared something special, and you’re acting as if you wish it never happened. Did I do something wrong?”

I pushed my hat back and looked over my shoulder at the camper. Five guys were crowded in the window watching us, so I reached over and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go for a walk.” I led her around the back of the bull pens and sat on the edge of a picnic table. The music and buzzers from the rides of the midway seemed loud. She stood facing me hugging herself as if she was cold. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I just don’t date girls from the circuit.”

“But you have no problem sleeping with them?”

“Dating long distance is too complicated. It doesn’t work.”

“Are you saying you’d be interested in dating me if we lived in the same town?”

The answer was no, but I figured that wouldn’t go over that well. I turned my head out of habit to spit tobacco. It must have looked strange since I had nothing to spit. Her eyes were definitely watery at that point. “I didn’t know you were interested in dating. I figured you only did what you did because you felt like you owed me for Stella.”

“You think I slept with you because you let me ride your horse?”

I shrugged because it was a logical assumption.

“If that were the case, I would technically need to sleep with Ron Miller.”

I chuckled at the thought of her sleeping with a guy almost thirty years older than her. “That’s sick.”

She smiled a little and wiped the tears from her cheek.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just didn’t think you wanted it to be more than what it was.”

“So, in your mind I’m the type of girl who goes around thanking guys by sleeping with them?”

I shrugged. “I really didn’t have any other information to go on. What was I supposed to think?”

“I don’t know. Oh my God. You’re right.” She got choked up again and pressed her palms over her eyes. “I’m so stupid.” She dropped her hands and stared at the empty rodeo arena. “It never occurred to me that you would think I was a trashy buckle bunny. I know you’re not going to believe me now, but I’m not a slut. I’ve only been with one other guy, and he was a long-term boyfriend.” She held her stomach. “Oh God, I feel sick. I’m sorry I screwed things up between us. I’m so embarrassed.” She spun around and walked fast.

“Tawnie.” I chased after her and reached forward to grab her elbow. She flinched as if she thought I was going to hit her or something. I let go of her arm and she relaxed. Her face was turned to the side, so I gently held her chin and rotated it to make her look at me. “If it wasn’t to thank me for Stella and you don’t normally do that sort of thing, why did you sleep with me?”

“I wanted to,” she answered without even needing to think about it.

“You hardly know me.”

“I know.” She covered her eyes with her hands again. “God, what’s wrong with me? You must think I’m such an idiot.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt.

She dropped her hand. “I had a huge crush on you when we were on the junior circuit. When I saw you again, I realized I still had a crush on you. Then when we were dancing at the bar, I could feel your heart racing. I hoped you felt the same way about me. Maybe it was because I didn’t know when I was going to see you next, or maybe it really was because of Stella. Obviously, I made a mistake by rushing things and if I could take it back I would.” She tipped the brim of her hat down and kicked at the dirt. “I feel like I’m going to die of embarrassment, so if we could just forget that it ever happened, that would be great.”

I stared at her for a while, then I said, “I had a crush on you back on the junior circuit too.”

She looked up, surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah. You disappeared and I always wondered what happened to you. I was about to go over and talk to you when I saw you again last season.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“A bull stomped my face in. That probably sounds like a made-up excuse, but it really happened.”

She laughed.

We were standing on the empty spot on the grass where the Roberts’ motorhome had been parked. The script of Shae-Lynn giving me shit ran through my mind as I took my hat off and ran my hand through my hair. The old Billy would have made up an excuse for why he couldn’t see Tawnie again, but I really wanted to hit the reset button and prove that I could be a stand up guy. “What do you say we have a redo on Saturday night at the dance?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Okay. Can we pretend like Coleman never happened?”

I laughed and admitted, “There are a few things about Coleman I wouldn’t mind remembering if that’s all right with you.”

She shoved my shoulder and then rested against my chest for a hug. Her hair smelled like lavender scented shampoo and my mind created an image of what she must have looked like stepping out of the shower all tanned and slick. My palm slid up her arm and over the slope of her shoulder to just below her ear. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to lean into the support of my hand. My thumb caressed her cheek.

“I’ve been dreaming about your touch since the last time I saw you,” she whispered.

I gently pressed my lips to the silky softness of her neck.

“I should get going,” she whispered and pulled away as if she was worried the night would end up the same way as it did in Coleman if she didn’t leave.

“Do you want me to walk you back to the hotel?”

She shook her head as if she thought it was a bad idea, but smiled as if she wouldn’t mind if I did. “I’m fine thanks. You should go back to your poker game.”

“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she repeated before she turned and walked away.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I watched her walk until she turned the corner, then read the text from Tyson. “Shit,” I mumbled and rushed back to Mutt’s camper.

On Saturday afternoon, Cole eased into the chute to set up for his go. I pressed my foot against the bull’s shoulder, but didn’t pull the rope. Cole looked up at me to see what I was waiting on.

“No pressure, but I owe eight thousand dollars plus interest on a horse I don’t even want, and you lost your twenty thousand dollar camper in a stupid bet. You need to hang on to this bull.”

“Yeah, I got it. Pull the damn rope,” he grumbled around his mouthguard.

I pulled it, then slapped him three times on the back, a little harder than was necessary.

He tucked his chin and nodded.

The bull initially shot out of the gate and went into a series of tight spins, but one of the bullfighters smacked his head and forced him to rear up and start bucking good. He pulled out every move to try to throw Cole, but nothing worked. Cole was in the zone and he had the best ride of his life. The buzzer rang and he hopped off clean.

We all looked up at the scoreboard. He got a ninety-two, which was his personal best and only two points shy of my personal best. He turned and pointed at me before he climbed the fence and waved his hat at the crowd. After he’d showboated for a while, he jumped down and shoved me in the chest. “How was that, baby?”

“It was pretty good, but you’re going to need to do it again tomorrow in the finals — and every time after that for the rest of the season if we’re going to pay our bills.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry.” He took my hat off and hit me with it. “Stop being a buzz kill. That was a personal best.”

I slapped his back. “You did good. Dad would have been proud.”

He smiled and watched the last two riders. They did all right, but Cole kept his lead. “Let’s go celebrate.”

“I can’t. I’ve got a date.”

He raised his eyebrow, ready to give me the gears. “With Tawnie?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, well, well. Look who’s acting like a proper gentleman. Find out if she has a friend who wants to help me celebrate.”

“You don’t need me to find your dates for you.”

“Good point.” He jumped up onto the outer railing of the grandstand and climbed over into the first row. A girl put her arm over his shoulder and kissed his cheek. He leaned over and shouted, “Don’t wait up.”

“Just make sure you can ride in the finals.”

He smiled in a way that made it seem like he wasn’t making any guarantees. Then he turned to talk to the girls who had crowded around him.

Tawnie was expecting me at eight, so I went back at the hotel, got cleaned up, and was ready to go by seven forty-five. My mouth was watering for some chew, so I popped three pieces of gum in my mouth instead. At five to, I walked down the hall and took the elevator to the third floor where Tawnie was staying. Before knocking, it occurred to me that I should show up with flowers or something. I turned around and went down to the lobby. The gift shop didn’t have flowers, but I bought a box of chocolates and went back up to the third floor.

I knocked and heard her moving around inside before she opened the door. She looked mind blowing in tight white jeans and a white blouse that was tailored to show off her flat stomach. Her hair was curled in big bouncy waves. I was at a loss for words, so instead of speaking, I handed her the chocolates.

She smiled at my lack of coolness and disappeared to put them in the room. “Where are we going?” she asked as she stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her.

I blinked about five times before I was able to speak. “Um, I researched online and found a steak house that’s supposed to be pretty good. You’re not a vegetarian, are you?”

“No, I like steak.” She smiled again and seemed a little worried about why we were still standing in front of her door. “So, should we go then?”

“You look really nice,” I finally said.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, embarrassed. “Thank you.” She hooked her arm around my elbow and made me walk down the hall.

The cab was already waiting outside the front entrance of the lobby, so I opened the door for her and watched her ass as she slid in. After telling the cab driver the address of the restaurant, I glanced over at Tawnie and searched for something to talk about to break the awkwardness. “You and Stella posted a good time today.”

“Yeah, I don’t hardly have to do anything. She’s just fast.”

“You might have even beat Shae-Lynn if she were here.”

“What happened to her? I heard she had to withdraw.”

I shrugged, not wanting to gossip about it because it would bother Shae-Lynn if even more people knew.

Since I didn’t answer, she asked another question, “Have you guys been friends for a long time?”

“I’ve known her since she was a baby. Her dad and my dad were friends. They grew up together in Saskatoon.”

“I thought she was from Calgary?”

“They moved there about ten years ago.”

She nodded and seemed unsure where to take the conversation from there. She tucked her hair behind her ears.

“Where are you from?” I asked to help her out.

“Originally, Winnipeg, but I moved to live with my grandparents in Edmonton after my parents were killed in a fire.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

She looked into my eyes for a brief second, then stared down at her purse on her lap. “I heard you lost your dad.”

“Yeah.” I shifted in the seat and hoped she would move on to the next topic.

“He died in a wreck?”

My neck muscles tightened and my heart rate sped up. I figured it was probably better to make it clear right from the start that we weren’t going to be talking about my dad, so without sugar-coating it I said, “I don’t talk about it.”

“Sorry.” She bit at her nail until she came up with a less touchy question to ask. “What do you take at university?”

“I was taking business courses mostly, but I haven’t been able to go back yet since I have other priorities right now.”

“Like your brother?”

I inhaled and tipped my hat back. Avoiding touchy questions wasn’t going to be possible if she wanted to know about my family, so I decided to get it over with. “What have you already heard about him?”

“That he’s crazy and if you don’t take care of him he gets himself into trouble.” She looked over at me again, with caution. “That’s just what I heard. I don’t know what the real story is.”

“That’s pretty much accurate.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He has bipolar disorder.”

“Don’t they have medication for that?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t always work. And even when it does work, he doesn’t always take it.”

The cab pulled up in front of the restaurant, thankfully. I paid the driver and we got out. There was a bit of a wait, but I had made a reservation, so the hostess took us in right away. Blake and Tyson were already there with two girls. They were sitting at a table for four across from where we got seated.

“What’s wrong?” Tawnie asked me.

“Nothing.”

She looked over her shoulder. “Would you rather go somewhere else?”

“No, this is fine.” I took my hat off and hung it on the back of my chair.

“Are you embarrassed for them to see us together?”

“No. Why would I be embarrassed to be seen with you?”

She shrugged insecurely. “I don’t know. You’re acting uncomfortable.”

“It has nothing to do with you. I just don’t like Blake all that much, and I’d rather not get into it with him here.”

“He’s nice. Why don’t you like him?”

“He messed with the wrong girl.”

Tawnie’s expression changed, and she looked as if I slapped her or something. Her cheeks turned red.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and stared up at the ceiling blinking back tears. “Well, he didn’t try to mess with me, so obviously there is some other girl you care enough about to get all worked up over.”

I frowned and ran my hand through my hair. I hadn’t meant for it to sound the way it did. “It’s not like that.”

“What’s it like?”

The waiter came over to take our order, took our menus, and left. Tawnie tapped her fingers on the table as if she was still waiting on me to answer the question. I tore off some bread and offered the basket to her. She shook her head and then took a sip from her water glass. She eventually sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Do you have a girlfriend? Don’t lie to me.”

“No.”

“Who’s this girl you care about?”

“It doesn’t matter. I told you; it wasn’t like that.”

“Do you want it to be like that with her?”

“I’m on a date here with you. If I wanted it to be like that with her, I’d be on a date here with her, now wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she just wasn’t available.” She leaned her elbows on the table and rubbed her palms over her forehead. “Or, maybe she’s just not easy. Shit.” She looked up at me. “I want to go.”

“We just got here.”

“Yeah, I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.” She stood and rushed towards the door.

I got up and cancelled our order, then asked the hostess to call us a cab. I stepped out into the parking lot, but couldn’t see Tawnie. I wandered around the side of the restaurant and out to the sidewalk. Eventually, I spotted her leaning against a street light. I walked over and touched her arm, which made her flinch. “What was that all about in the restaurant?”

“I don’t want to be some girl you just hook up with.”

“I know.”

“But you like someone else.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t deny it either. You can’t treat me like trash.”

“I’m not treating you like trash. I asked you out to get to know you better. I don’t date girls unless I like them. If I just wanted to sleep with you, I wouldn’t take you out for steaks first.”

She frowned, unconvinced, and chewed at her fingernail.

I stared at her trying to figure out what her problem was. “Did someone mess with you or something?”

After a long hesitation, she nodded.

“What happened?”

She mumbled, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I stepped in to wrap my arms around her. She relaxed into my hug. We stood that way until the cab pulled up.

“Do you want to go back inside?” I asked.

“The cab’s already here. Let’s just go to a drive-thru or something.”

That was fine with me, so I smiled and opened the door for her. My phone buzzed as she was sliding in. I read the text and mumbled, “Shit. Not again.”

“What’s wrong?”

I got in and told the driver to take us back to the hotel.

“Did you forget something?” Tawnie asked.

“Yeah, my brother.”

When the cab pulled up in front of the hotel, there were already two cop cars there. Rochelle met me on the curb. “I told the hotel management that I already got a hold of you, but they still called the police.”

“Thanks for letting me know. Where is he?”

She pointed up to the first floor roof. Cole was buck naked and dancing in a raunchy way with the flag pole.

“Jesus.” I glanced at Tawnie to gauge her reaction. She stared up at him with an expression that was a mixture of amusement and disgust. When she looked over at me, it switched to pity. I walked over to where the cops were shouting up at him. “He’s my brother. I’ll take care of it.”

“What’s he high on?”

“He isn’t high. He has a mental illness.” I climbed up on a trashcan, so I was closer to the roof. “Hey, Cole.” He stopped grinding on the pole. “Let’s go to the dance. Tawnie and one of her friends are going to come with us.”

“Is she as good looking as Tawnie?”

“Yeah.”

He looked around the crowd of people who had gathered in the parking lot. Then he spotted the cop cars. “Why are the police here?”

“There was a burglary or something. You should go on inside and get dressed so we can go.”

“Where?”

“To the dance with Tawnie and her friend. How did you get up there anyway?”

He looked around and frowned, disoriented. “I don’t know. What are you all staring at?” he shouted.

“Hey, Rochelle,” I said over my shoulder. “Can you get everybody to move inside, please?”

She nodded and herded people into the lobby. Tawnie must have paid the cab driver because he drove away and she followed Rochelle under the awning where Cole couldn’t see them.

“Tell those cops to leave,” Cole shouted.

“They can’t leave until you come on down.” I hopped off the trashcan and walked underneath where he was.

“Are they going to arrest me?”

“For what? Just come down so you can get dressed and go to the dance with us.”

After about a minute of staring up at the sky, he turned around and mooned us as he bent over to grab the downspout. He dropped his legs over the edge of the roof and hung for a second before jumping barefoot onto the pavement. One of the cops tensed up and hovered his hand over his holster, which made Cole back away. “Why’s he going for his gun?”

“He’s not. You just look a little crazy right now since you’re not wearing any clothes.”

He glanced down at his nudeness and chuckled as if he was surprised. “Are they going to take me to the hospital?”

“Not unless you want to go.”

“I can’t. I have to ride in the finals tomorrow. We need the money.”

“No. We’ll be okay. You don’t need to ride tomorrow if you don’t feel like it.”

He crouched in a fighting stance and spread his arms out like he was acting out a scene from a ninja movie. He made weird yelping sounds.

“Settle down, Cole.”

“Tell the cops to leave or I’ll take them out with my mad black belt skills. Whaaaa.”

“You don’t have a black belt. If you don’t settle down, I’m going to call Mom.”

“No. Don’t call her.” He stood up straight and relaxed his arms at his side.

The cop beside me suddenly rushed Cole and tackled him to the ground.

“What the hell?” I shouted.

Cole fought really hard and punched the cop in the face a couple times before launching him against the cruiser. The other cop had no choice but to try to restrain him. Even with two cops beating on him, Cole was not surrendering. Eventually, he broke free, scrambled to his feet, and backed away. The cops both stood. The twitchy one pulled out his taser.