There was agreement all around the table. “I won’t let him,” Patience assured them, trying to let them know that she didn’t expect any more sacrifices from the Randalls.
Marilyn Anderson said, “Well, of course he won’t get Tommy as long as we’re here.”
Patience pressed her lips together to hold back a groan. Her mother was one of those women who expects to be protected. Now that her husband and oldest child were gone, she expected Patience to take care of her. “Mom, we’re only staying a few days. Then we’re going home.”
Everyone looked at Jim, as if they expected him to do something. “We’ll talk about it,” he said, not looking at Patience.
She wanted to tell him he was wrong. It was her decision and she’d already made it. But not in front of the senior Randalls. They’d all been very kind and she didn’t want to offend them.
With a shrug she picked up her fork and continued eating. In spite of what Jim thought, she could be patient sometimes.
As soon as the meal was over, Patience leaped to her feet, planning on busying herself with cleaning up while Jim left the kitchen.
But Jim was prepared. He grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let go when she tugged. “I want to show you something at the barn.”
She stared at him as if he was crazy. “It’s cold out.”
“So wear a coat. It won’t be too cold in the barn.”
“I need to help with the dishes, Jim.” She tugged again.
“You can help with them when we get back,” he said. “You don’t mind, do you, Mildred?”
“Of course not, Jim. We’ll manage. You go ahead, young lady. You’ve worked harder than anyone else since you came here.”
Feeling trapped, Patience finally nodded, adding, “I won’t be but a minute.” She hoped Jim got the message.
Jim nodded, as if agreeing with her, which was a surprise. Maybe he’d been serious when he said he just wanted to show her something. She relaxed a little, glad she didn’t have to fight another battle.
Drew, at the other end of the table, leaned forward and said, “What do you want to show her, Jim? I can walk her down there while you go rest. It won’t be a problem.”
“No!” Jim glared at his brother.
Chad halted anything else Jim might’ve said. “That’s good of you, Drew, but I need to talk to you about tomorrow’s work. Let’s go to Jake’s office.”
Drew looked surprised but nodded.
Jim looked relieved, which made Patience suspicious again.
Before she could ask any more questions, Jim stood. He wavered momentarily. Patience sprang up to support him before he fell.
“I’m okay,” he said. “I need to remember to take things slowly.” He nodded to his mother. Then, still holding Patience’s hand, he turned toward the back door.
“My jacket is hanging in the mudroom. Where’s yours?” Patience asked. She wasn’t going to be blamed for him catching a cold.
“It’s out there, too.” Jim released her hand when they reached the mudroom and let her help him into his coat. She was surprised by his docility. It made her look at him sharply. Was he exhausted?
“Jim, surely this can wait until you’re feeling stronger. I’m going to be here a couple more days.”
“Don’t fuss over me. I’m fine.”
Her concern hadn’t made him happy. Well, too bad.
He led the way to the back door. The minute he opened it, they both felt a cold gust of wind. “Feels like another norther is blowing through,”
he said with a frown. “I’m glad we’re not still up there.”
“Yeah, me, too. Though the cabin was a good shelter,” she said, remembering the night they’d spent there.
“Oh. I guess no one’s told you. Someone burned the cabin down.”
She came to a halt before they were even off the porch. “Someone? You mean Kane? He was the only one in the area, wasn’t he? How terrible! I’m so sorry, Jim. I know how much your family enjoyed going there in the summer.”
“Dad says we’re going to rebuild it this summer.”
“I’ll help.”
Jim sighed. Then he leaned over and kissed her.
She froze. His touch was so warm, so exciting. It brought back memories she needed to forget. “Don’t do that!”
He ignored her order. “Let’s get to the barn so we can shut out the wind.” Grabbing her hand again, he stepped down off the porch.
He’d chosen the mother barn, so called because any animal, horse or cow that was experiencing difficulties in giving birth was brought to this barn. And he happened to know, since
he’d quizzed his dad earlier in the day, that it was empty right now.
They rushed in, pushing the door closed be hind them, and Jim clicked on the overhead light.
“Are there any animals in here?” Patience asked.
“Not right now.”
“So what did you want to show me?”
Jim sat down on a bale of hay. “Sorry, I need to sit down.”
When he didn’t respond to her question, she prodded him. “Jim? You haven’t answered me.”
“I said I wanted to show you something so we could have some privacy. I don’t like to grovel in front of my family.”
Rather than joining him on the bale of hay, as he was indicating by patting a place beside him, she took a step back.
“What are you talking about?”
“I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have burst in on you today at Nick’s office. That was your business and I tried to make it mine.”
“Thank you,” she said, pleased by his apology.
“But you’re going to have to change your ways, Patience.”
That remark wasn’t to her liking, and it didn’t sound like an apology. “I beg your pardon?”
“Honey, I’m not trying to be difficult, but you can’t run around by yourself, even here in Rawhide. That man presents a real danger, and you know it.”
“He’s not in Rawhide. I suspect he’s long gone, trying to find more young gullible men he can enlist in a new army. He won’t have time for me and Tommy.” She prayed she was right.
“And you’re willing to risk Tommy’s safety?”
“I’m going to protect Tommy!”
“How are you going to do that? If Kane finds you out on your own, he’ll subdue you, force you to lead him to Tommy.”
“Well?” Jim prodded when she said nothing.
“I’m buying a gun.”
Jim sighed. “Look, Patience, I’d be the last one to think a gun is a bad idea. Without you having a gun, I’d be dead. But are you sure you can kill Kane? And what if it’s in front of Tommy?”
“Stop! I don’t have a choice. I have to protect my son.”
“You do have a choice. You can let us help you.” He grabbed her hands when he reached her. “Come on, Patience. We’ll help you.”
“No. I have to stand on my own two feet. I’m not part of your family.”
“Dammit! Patience, anyone in Rawhide would protect you. You know that.”
“Everyone in Rawhide is kin to
you!
”
“You’re exaggerating, Patience. We’re a big family, but everyone isn’t kin to us.” He gave her a smile.
She didn’t return his lighthearted response. “I have to do this on my own.” She turned to go.
Again he grabbed her hand. “Come on, Patience. I care about you and Tommy. You know that.” He pulled her and she fell against him.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, even though he grimaced at the pain. His lips covered hers and swept her back to three years ago, when Jim was her world. She’d wanted him, wanted to make love with him, but there had been too much going on in her life.
Now, she couldn’t. Or maybe she could. He’d helped her. She could give him what he wanted, couldn’t she? “Jim, I…I owe you. If you want me, I—”
Jim stepped away from her as if she were on
fire. He stared at her. “I can’t believe you said that, Patience Anderson! What’s happened to you?”
“What’s happened to me? I’m trying to survive, protect my family.” She fought back tears.
“And you have no respect for me? You think I helped you, or tried to help you, because I just wanted to sleep with you?” He was livid, his face red.
Patience swallowed. Hard. “I thought—”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Jim roared. “I don’t trade help for sex!”
Patience turned and ran out of the barn. When she reached the porch of the house, she wiped her tears away with her palms before she went inside and hurried to her room.
C
HAD STRODE INTO
the barn, looking for his son. He found Jim sitting on a bale of hay, running his hands through his hair.
“Jim?” he asked. “What happened? Patience came running into the house and went straight to her room.”
“I made a mistake,” Jim muttered, not looking up.
“What do you mean? What mistake?”
“I kissed her.”
Chad released the breath he’d been holding. “That’s all that happened? You kissed her? Why did she act so…so upset?”
Jim began pacing the barn floor, his right hand in his jeans pocket for support. “I kissed her and she offered to sleep with me as payment for my helping her!”
“Why would she do that?” Chad asked.
“We were in love during college. But Patience told me she wouldn’t sleep with me unless we were engaged.”
“And that was so horrible?”
“No! But I didn’t like being pushed into it. So I got stubborn. Told her I was too young to be tied down. I held out as long as I could. Two weeks later I called her. Her roommate said she’d gone home and she wasn’t coming back. I called her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. She just said she never wanted to see me again.”
“Was that when her sister died?”
“Yes, but I didn’t find out about all that until later. I made up my mind to put her out of my life. I purposely didn’t ask about her.”
“Son, sounds like you and Patience have a lot to work out. It might be best to do some talking before you try anything else.”
“Yeah, but even if we haven’t worked out the
past, I never suggested she should pay me back with sex.”
“I believe you, son. I know you wouldn’t do that to Patience. But if she refuses to let you stay close to her, we’ll have a hard time helping her if she has trouble.”
“I know.”
“Has she figured out how she’ll protect Tommy and herself?”
“Yeah. She says she’s going to buy a gun. But that’s not the answer. Hell, it shouldn’t have come to a shooting match between her and Kane.” His jaw hardened. “I’m planning to stick to her like glue, no matter what she says.”
“Do you think you’ll get her to agree?”
“Dad, I won’t take no for an answer.”
Chapter Eleven
When she got up, Patience took one look at herself in the mirror the next morning and wanted to go back to bed and hide under the covers. She’d shed a lot of tears last night after she’d gone to bed. She’d cried for her past, her present and her future. And they all included Jim.
She’d shoved him out of her life three years ago. After realizing what a mistake her sister had made, she’d been determined to control her own life. What a joke! No one can control what happens in life.
Last night her offer to have sex with him as payment for his help had really been an attempt to justify her own desires. But she’d only offended Jim, and again she was left alone.
And the future? She had no future with Jim. She’d already blown her chances.
She was late getting downstairs. She found Tommy playing with Davy’s video games in the living room. It took several minutes to get Tommy to put down his controller and give her a morning kiss, but she persisted.
“I know you love playing, Tommy, but you can give me a minute or two. I have to go back into town today. I want you to mind Grandma and go to her if you need anything, okay?”
“Okay.” His gaze had returned to the television. She gave him another kiss and let him go back to the game. He probably wouldn’t like it when they moved back home. No games and no Davy.
Breakfast was already over in the Randall kitchen. But as soon as she came through the door, Mildred and Red both jumped to their feet.
“We saved you some breakfast,” Mildred said with a smile. In no time, a plate of eggs and bacon and hot biscuits were in front of her.
“Thank you so much. I had a rough night last night, which made me oversleep.”
“Don’t worry, child,” Red said, patting her shoulder. “It happens to all of us.”
As soon as she finished eating, she excused herself, explaining that she had an appointment with Nick. She wanted to ask about Jim, how he
was this morning, but she didn’t think she had the right to ask.
Pulling on her coat, she went outside and headed for her car. As she approached she realized someone was in the front passenger seat. Her first thought was that Kane had found her already. Then she recognized Jim.
She opened her car door. “You idiot! What are you doing?” She slid behind the wheel. “You scared me to death.”
Jim, slumped in the seat, didn’t move. “I’m waiting for you.”
“That much is obvious. But why?”
“I told you it’s not safe for you to run around alone. With my injury I can’t work on the ranch for a while. So I’m providing you with an armed guard.”
Patience’s eyes widened. “Armed? What do you mean?”
He straightened and shoved back his coat. There was a leather holster strapped on his body.
“You really don’t think anything is necessary, do you?”
“Why were you scared?”
Okay, he’d made his point. “But it’s unfair of me to expect you to follow me around all day. I’ll be at Nick’s office the entire morning.”
“I know. I brought a blanket so I can keep warm in the car if you’re inside a long time. What do you have planned for this afternoon?”
“I thought I’d go home and clean up, do some grocery shopping for when we move back in.”
“That’s the first place Kane will look for you,” Jim said, his voice hard.
“We won’t go back until I have a gun. But we can’t live with your family forever.”
“Until you get that gun, I’m going to be your shadow, so get used to it.”
She couldn’t force him out of her car. And she’d admit that his presence gave her more confidence. She didn’t deserve his concern, but she sure wasn’t going to fight it.
They drove in silence to Nick’s office.
When she parked the car and started to get out, he didn’t move. “Why don’t you come in and wait in the outer office?”