Authors: Joy DeKok
Rain Dance (31 page)
Former Senator Eve Dunbar shocked her party and former constituents today by not only attending, but also participating in a pro-life conference titled
Truth and Consequences
. She teamed up with her daughter, Stacie Cutter, a self-proclaimed “abortion survivor.” The two other speakers were Rose Patterson and her daughter, Jonica Johnson. The mother/daughter teams want women to fully understand the impact that choosing an abortion can have on women and the people who love them.
Cutter chose abortion a little over two years ago and, according to her, ended one life and almost ruined her own. She stated, “God literally pulled me out of the lies and drew me to the truth—His Son Jesus Christ. It was in Him I found hope and healing. “
She urged post-abortive women feeling despair to get help. “P.A.S.S. is real and can be diagnosed by its symptoms. Many distinguished doctors are no longer denying its existence.”
Rose Patterson is a crisis pregnancy center volunteer who works with women who seek support after an abortion. She worked anonymously until recently, when her daughter, Johnson, became involved with Cutter. Now she is calling on pro-life women to make it safe for women who regret their abortions to step forward without shame and tell their stories.
When asked if she knew of her mother’s work, Johnson replied, “I knew Mom volunteered at Oasis, but I didn’t know she worked directly with post-abortive women. She wanted to keep the work secret so no one would ask her about the women whose stories were so deeply private. As Stacie confided her pain to my mother and me, Mom asked the women she counseled what they wanted her to do with what she knew. They told her, ‘Tell them.’ ”
Due to her daughter’s experience and the other women who’ve expressed their regret to her, retired Senator Dunbar has changed her once staunch pro-choice position. She also wants women to understand the connection between abortion and breast cancer. Her mother was suffering from this form of cancer when she died in a car accident, and Dunbar announced that she is in remission after having a radical mastectomy, radiation, and chemotherapy.
“My greatest concern is for my daughter,” said Dunbar. “Stacie has two strikes against her. We are genetically predisposed to breast cancer, and she chose an abortion without full knowledge of what it might cost her later. Women must know the facts and understand the risks.”
Dunbar apologized to her daughter and to all the women in the audience who have chosen abortion and are, as she put it, “suffering the consequences.” She told the audience of approximately one thousand women, “If any of you have chosen abortion because it was legal and easy, I am partly responsible for the deaths of your children. I am sorry.”
Behind the former senator hung a picture of a young man with Down syndrome. Dunbar said, “Ladies, I’d like to introduce you to my son Stephen. Twenty-three years ago, I gave birth to him and turned away from what I saw as his imperfections. I considered him a mistake. I was wrong. Because of his diligent and faithful prayers, I am at peace with God and with my son.”
Johnson closed the conference with a challenge to pro-life women everywhere. “It is right to stand strong against abortion as a political issue and vital that we stand for the women who are suffering its destructive consequences. I can’t change a mind, but if I dare to love another woman even when I disagree with the choice she made, God can change a heart.”
This is an editorial and so far, I’ve reported only what I heard and saw. I’m still one who believes in a woman’s right to choose. But I admit, these women—a housewife, a former senator, an attorney, and a writer—seem to share an uncommon bond. And they may well be a power to be reckoned with.
Dear Reader,
Although
Rain Dance
is fiction, it is also based on my life. I’m childless. The name Jonica mattered to me—it was the name I longed to give our little girl. (I wanted to name her after her daddy—my husband Jonathan—known to most people as Jon.) However, God had other plans for us and for the name.
While I was cleaning house one day, the idea for this book came to me. My first response was less than positive. I wanted to write children’s books—not reveal my very personal pain on paper for everyone to read. Even though I resisted, the story came together in my mind.
When I began putting the story on the paper, I took what I considered the biggest risk of all; I put myself in the story. I thought writing Jonica’s part would be a breeze—I’d lived it, so what could be so hard?
Letting you see my hurt, anger, pity parties, and grief was rough. As the writing continued, I admitted to myself that one of my greatest fears was that if you don’t like Jonica, you won’t like me. Then God gently reminded me that although He let me live this and write about it, it is not about whether you like or agree with me. It has always been about obedience.
I wondered if I’d be able to write about Stacie, whose life I had not lived and whose decision I couldn’t understand. By the time I wrote the fourth chapter I cared deeply for Stacie and was reliving my hurt through Jonica.
I started praying right away that anyone who read this book would love Stacie. I asked writer friends to read the manuscript before it went to print, and I was delighted when they told me how much they cared for her and that she quickly became their favorite character. Readers now tell me the same thing.
If you are a Jonica, please know your sorrow is real. You are grieving the death of a dream, and it hurts. But you are not being punished. You are being trusted. God loves you. Please read John 9:1-3 and let Him show you how to bring Him honor and glory through this trial. I want you to know I’m praying for you.
If you are a Stacie, God loves you. Taking a public stand is not expected or required, but it should be safe for you. If you feel led to share this experience with the world you live in, you can literally give the pro-life movement in our nation a face. You will probably encounter misunderstanding and perhaps harsh judgment from some, but nothing can replace the firsthand account of your abortion experience. Heaven only knows how many babies you can save or how much suffering you can prevent other women from carrying by telling your story. Also please know that some of us out here love you, are praying for you, and will stand beside you.
If you are neither of these women, please consider praying for women like Jonica and Stacie. Ask God to give you a heart of love and acceptance for people different from yourself. We are hurting and often suffer alone. You don’t need to understand or fix us. Most of all, we want you to know that we long for you to accept us just as we are.
To all pro-life women, I’m praying that you will help bring new breath to the pro-life movement. Usually, in churches across this great land, it is safe for people to admit to struggles with alcohol, drug addiction, adultery, or divorce—all painful experiences. In many cases, post-abortive woman cannot admit the pain of her choice. The risk of condemnation is too hard. It is up to you and me to make it safe for these women in our lives and in our congregations. How would Jesus treat those who are among the walking wounded in our society? Will they find sanctuary in our sanctuaries?
Please don’t think post-abortive women don’t sit in the pews of your church. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute statistics (www.agi-usa.org), one in six women who have chosen abortion list themselves as evangelical Christians. Based on these statistics, 5.6 million women in our churches have chosen abortion as a way out of a crisis pregnancy. If 1.5 million women choose abortion this year, that means it is possible 250,000 evangelical Christian women may be among them. I know dozens of post-abortive women. How many do you know without realizing it?
Please ask yourself this: If I knew that one of my close friends had an abortion in her past, would I still love her? The post-abortive women in my life all had to consider my response to that question carefully. Because of God, I truly love them with a passion that surprises me and them. It doesn’t have to make sense. It is from God, and that is enough for us.
The women I know who chose abortion are serving life sentences for their decision. Some have experienced the healing forgiveness of Christ, but they cannot forget what they did. My heart breaks for the ones who believe they cannot be forgiven by God because of their choice.
For those of you who have come to Christ and still hold on to the guilt, please ask God to help you take ownership of His forgiveness. Let Him rebuild your soul the way He promises to rebuild Jerusalem (Ezekiel 36:25-37). And, as in Stacie’s rain dance, ask Him to send you a moment of spiritual “fresh water” and let any and all sin you hold onto be washed away. You are forgiven!
Think your sin is too big for God to forgive? Read His words in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Notice there are no exclusions.
If you are seeking God, please consider Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
The tiny word all includes me. What about you?
And later He says in Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
He doesn’t say, “Except for people who have committed specific sins.” Have you received this most precious gift of God?
Are you asking, “What has God ever given to me?” Stacie found the answer when she read John 3:16. Remember Jesus’ answer to Nicodemus?
Do me a favor. Put your name in the following blanks and read it out loud:
For God so loved _________ that He gave His only Son, that when _______ believes in Him she will not perish but have everlasting life.
God also said in Acts 2:21, “And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
Have you called on Him for the forgiveness of sins and asked Him to be your Lord and Savior? Salvation is only a prayer away.
I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts on
Rain Dance.
If you need prayer, please feel free to contact me. Maybe you’re a Jonica and just need a friend. Or a Stacie and want to tell someone. I’m an e-mail away. Or perhaps you came to Christ recently (maybe while reading this book) and you want to share. I’m here.
Contact me:
Joy DeKok
10227 95
th
Ave NW
Pine Island, MN 55963
Email: [email protected]
Or visit my web site at
www.joydekok.com
Reader’s
Guide
The Characters
What is most compelling to you about Jonica? Stacie? Did you connect more with Jonica or Stacie? Why?
Their
Points of View
Most novels are written in single first person or third person. Why do you think the author chose to write in dual first person?
Their Faith
Did their belief systems feel genuine to you? Why or why not?
Both women received little support from the people (Della/Eve) they trusted. Have you dealt with similar hypocrisies in your beliefs?
The Issues
Did you come away with a better understanding of infertility? Why do you think infertility is often not discussed openly? Why do you think PAS (Post Abortion Syndrome) is downplayed or ignored by the women’s movement and the media?
Although obviously pro-life, the author makes it plain she sees abortion as far more than a political issue—as an issue of the heart. Do you agree or disagree?
The Men in Their Lives
What part of Ben’s story did you connect with? We don’t see a lot of Jonica’s dad (Carl) but what impression do you get of their relationship?
Did you understand Mike’s desire to be fully involved with Stacie’s choice? What did you like or dislike about Stacie’s dad, Steven Dunbar, Sr.
Describe your feelings for Stevie.
The Friendship
The characters chose friendship based on their similarities instead of avoiding each other because of their differences. How would this enrich both lives?
Mothers and Daughters
Describe Jonica’s relationship to her mom. How do you know Rose is delighted by her daughter?
Describe Eve’s relationship to her daughter. How do you feel about Eve’s long-distance provisions for Stevie (even when she couldn’t mother him)?
The
Dance
Jonica doesn’t get to see Stacie’s dance, but Stacie sees hers. Why do you think this is so important to the story?
What do you think Stacie’s dance signifies? What do you think Jonica’s dance symbolizes?
Table of Contents