Raber Wolf Pack Book One (18 page)

Xavier jumps in and rips the throat out of one of the wolves and my brother does the other. Xavier growls at my brother, ready to take him on, too.

‘My brother,’
I think to him and he sniffs the air. He’s not convinced that he’s not going to hurt me yet and pushes my brother back. ‘
Clarisse?’
I ask him.

‘Gone.’
No. No. No. No. My heart breaks for little Natalie. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to stay with Natalie in the den where she was safe. My chest tightens and the sadness crushes me, taking away what little energy I had left. My wolf whines and cries out.

‘You stupid fucking bitch,’
my father calls and it takes every bit of me to turn to the voice. I do so, scratching my head on a rock in the process. Max has my father totally subdued with the help of Gary.

Our wolves slowly form a circle around my father and panic hits.

‘Where are the rest of my father’s pack?’

‘The others are taking care of them,’
Xavier says.

‘Please don’t kill him,’
my mother’s thoughts filter in. ‘
He didn’t mean to do all that stuff, Zara. Save him,’
she pleads, but it’s a little too late.

‘My mother wants to save my father, but that cannot be. None of them can survive,’
I tell Xavier. As much as it pains me to take out a whole other pack again, this time it is a necessity. If those wolves in the pack believe they can follow in my father’s footsteps, I can’t allow it.
We
can’t allow it.

Through the pack link, he orders some of the wolves to take care of my mother. I should feel sad. I should cry, but she stood back for years and let him hurt me. Let him slowly kill me. Even though my father broke her, too, I expected her to fight more. Fight for me. So, I am done with her.

Yelping and whining go on behind me, but I don’t look. Instead, I lay my head on the hard, dusty surface.

‘Your call, Zara,’
Xavier says, still standing above me for protection. ‘
Kill him or cage him?’

‘What?’
I didn’t even know there was an option in this. My heart is so heavy from Clarisse’s death, I can’t think straight.

‘You heard me. Want him to feel the way you did or do you want this over?’

‘Over.’
The thought is instantaneous as Xavier steps away and Thor comes to stand over me. I can feel parts of my body rejuvenating but not quickly enough. Max and Gary release my father and he gets up on all fours, facing Xavier. Shit. They walk around each other and I know my dad won’t back down. He’s too tough for that.

In a blur of motion, Xavier and my father go at it. Biting and clawing ensues. It seems to go on forever, until the moment Xavier catches my father’s throat, and I know this is it. He will never hurt me again.

‘Fucking bitch! Good luck finding your precious Nana!’
he screams through his thoughts, just as Xavier tears this throat out before spitting it on the ground. My father’s wolf body crashes down in a heap. Oh my Heavens, Nana O?

Stella rushes over, now in human form, and places her hands on me. My body glows from her touch, repairing itself. Heat radiates from every cell and this time, I can feel it coming. The pressure is too much.

‘Xavier, tell them to get down. The light is coming out!’
I scream at him right before the light leaves my body. It doesn’t hurt, but it is quite a jolt to me, and I’ve never done it in wolf-form before. The light dissipates and my body is totally and completely healed. I feel better than I did when I was a pup. I shift back and look around to my pack, who are all on their asses. Maybe that’s what the light is. I can heal myself. Wow.

“Sorry, everyone. Tried to warn you.” I brush the dirt from my now-human body and pull out some leaves that got stuck in my hair as everyone rises and shifts back.

Xavier stalks to me. “We really need to work on finding out what this light shit is.”

“I heal,” I say quietly.

“What?”

“Whenever my light comes out, it’s when I’m in pain. When it leaves my body, I feel brand new. Young, vibrant. I think I can heal myself.”

His eyes grow wide. Sure, there are healers, but I’ve never heard of wolves that could just heal themselves.

“So, you heal yourself,” he says, astounded, and I feel the same way. I nod my head and look over at all the wolves lying on the ground, dead. All of my father’s pack, but way too many of ours as well. I hate they lost their lives. “We need to do something special for ours.”

Xavier wraps his hands around me. “Yes, we do.”

“I want to talk to Natalie, Xavier. I will be the one who takes care of her,” I tell him, with no room for argument.

“
We
will take care of her. She is ours to protect.” My heart swells for this man. I love him. Really and truly love him.

My eyes scan over to my mother. My brother is kneeling beside her in human-form, his body shaking. “I need to talk to him,” I tell Xavier, but his grip tightens.

“Until I know for a fact he is not a threat, you will do no such thing. You talk to him and I’m right by your side, along with Max and Thor.” It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

“Then let’s go.” I walk over to my brother and Zane rises, wiping the wetness from his eyes. He’s mourning a woman who did nothing to stop my father from hurting either of us. I don’t understand it, but it’s not for me to understand. “We need to talk.”

“Yes, we do,” he replies. “I’m so sorry, Zara. Please know that I did everything I could think of to save you. That is why father had me locked up as well. He knew that I’d do anything to help you. Not until you found your mate did he let me out because I’m a tracker, Zara. That’s my power. I can track anyone and father wanted me to track you. I played along with it, but only to help you. There was no way in hell I’d let him hurt you again. I’m so very sorry you were put through all that shit, Zara. I tried.” He looks down at the ground, visibly shaken, and his shoulders slump low. “He wasn’t the male that I thought he was.” I tap into his thoughts, instantly knowing he is not lying, and my heart cracks for my brother.

“I know you did. I watched you. I asked everyone when I got out where you were, but no one would tell me. I didn’t think you were on the grounds.” He shakes his head no, confirming my thoughts. “I’m so sorry for you, too.” He wipes a tear from the corner of his eye and nods.

I turn to Xavier, my voice shaky. “He’s not lying.”

Xavier lifts his chin. “You may come with us, but if you ever disobey me or touch even a hair on anyone’s head, I’ll fucking kill you myself.” The look in my brother’s eyes tells me that it hurts him that my mate would even think he would do anything of the sort, but I understand Xavier’s concerns for letting him live.

“Do you know where Nana O is?” I ask my brother, stopping everyone in their tracks.

“No,” Zane answers immediately.

My stomach twists. Shit. “Father said before he died ‘good luck finding Nana.’ Do you think he has her locked up somewhere?” Heavens, I hope not.

“Anything is possible with that man.” Shit. Where in the hell is Nana O?

TELLING NATALIE WAS
the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, and it’s something I could live the rest of my life without ever having to do again. Devastation is not even the word for her pain. This is raw and much deeper, and seeing her hurt like this is just too much. Lily, the emotions healer, has helped Natalie, but the pain stays etched on her face. It’s not something that will go away anytime soon.

We didn’t attend the burning of the wolves from my father’s pack. I had mourned my mother and father for years, there was no need for more.

I asked Xavier if we could do a private ceremony for Clarisse, separate from the others that left us. We had fifteen total that passed. Xavier set it all up and both he and I were at Natalie’s side when she said good-bye to her mom. That moment is wedged into my soul and will burn there for all eternity. Natalie hasn’t been able to sleep, so she has been in our bed at night. When she falls asleep, Xavier picks her up and puts her on the small rollaway bed next to ours.

The plan is to bust out one wall and connect his old room to ours. That will be where Natalie sleeps, and of course, there will be a door that closes so Xavier and I can have some privacy. I haven’t taken her to her own quarters and I have no plans to. Those memories are just too much for her.

So, instead of me sitting on my man’s lap, I have a little princess that sits on mine and clings to me like glue. I have no doubt this will get better over time.

I know Xavier wants to do the mating ceremony, but I’ve asked that we wait until Natalie is coping better. It has to be about her right now and reluctantly, he agreed. I want it as much as he does, but I can’t right now.

Natalie and I did attend the burial ceremonies for the others laid to rest that day. Xavier held us both tightly in his arms. I could feel his chest constricting with every word said and every shovel of dirt that was thrown on the fallen. It only made me love him more.

These past two weeks have been really hard on the entire pack. Even Marissa has stopped her catty bullshit. All of us deal with it differently, but we all grieve the loss. The fact my old pack did this is a heavy weight on my shoulders. They took so many lives. It’s utterly painful and it’s always there and just too damn much sometimes.

This is where Natalie is my blessing. While I’d never have wished for her to suffer, she’s helped me keep on going because I need to take care of her and Xavier. They give me a reason to live.

I still have had no contact with Nana O. With everyone grieving, we have let her unknown whereabouts sit for the moment. Having my brother close, the wedge that my father forced between us is starting to shrink. Everything in life isn’t so good. But we will make it because we are family and we stick together.

Nana O and my brother are the only ones left from my old pack, and I feel a great sense of relief about that part of my life finally being over.

However, what the future might bring still tugs at my gut.

Three Weeks Later

Max

LIFE IS FULL OF
challenges. Ones that push us beyond ourselves and our beliefs. Ones that change us forever. Some challenges are too painful to bear yet we do for the sake of the ones we love. We carry that weight on our shoulders, so they don’t have to.

I inhale deeply, sucking in the scent of the human that I hold in my arms, bitten and battered. I’m absolutely terrified and I don’t even know her name. But she’s my mate.

I only wish I could help her.

The story continues in Raber Wolf Pack Book 2.

Coming Soon.