Questing Sucks! Book II (52 page)

With a yawn, he sat up, shook his hair free of sand, and then yawned a second time. It seemed Nero’s advice was bullshit after all, and now he’d need to get to work trying to make a
real
greater summon. If nothing else, perhaps the dream—nightmare, really—was a way for his subconscious mind to warn him never to take anyone’s advice and to always do things his own way, because he was always correct.

“Mmnn, nom nom nom,” a voice whispered near him. “Mmnnn, nom, nom.”

Sehn held his breath. Fear raced through him. He shifted his eyes to the right. Then he struggled to contain his tears as he saw the sleeping form lying on her back on the sand beside him. With her arms and legs sprawled out, and her wings slowly beginning to move, the creature that had called herself Estelle sat up, licked her lips, and yawned. Then her eyes popped opened.

Sehn stared at her a moment. And all was quiet. She looked at him, he looked at her, and neither of the two said a word for a time. It was a moment of relative confusion that lasted for at least ten seconds, during which Sehn did little else aside from continuing to make eye contact with this creature who, to his horror, was very real.

Then, without any apparent transition, Estelle let out a loud, high-pitched squeal of delight, and just like that, she rocketed up into the air, spinning wildly and leaving a golden, glittery trail of something behind in her wake as she raced up towards the red sky.

“Wheeeee!” she cheered. “Sehn, look at how high I can go!”

It was at this point that Sehn realized he had a dilemma on his hand, and it was one that required him to react fast. While he certainly needed a few moments—if not a few years—to mourn and grieve at the fact that all he could buy with
half
of his divine soul was this “Estelle” pixie thing, he realized that, right now, he faced a far graver threat: the possibility that other people might learn she existed. It would be the ultimate humiliation: the sort of shame it was simply not possible to recover from.

“Estelle!” he hissed. He placed his pointer finger to his nose. “Shh!”

“Shh?” she said. “How come?”

“Get down here immediately you loud fool,” he whispered at her, trying his best not to shout. “Get. Down. Here. Now.”

“Okay.”

Sehn breathed a sigh of relief as she began to descend. But his relief was short lived. She continued to lower herself towards him until she was just above his head. Then she stopped short, spun around midair, and shouted, “Who’s that little girl over there? I like her! I’m gonna go say hi, okay Sehn?”

Sehn jumped in the air and tried to catch her, but he was too slow. He was forced to watch, horrified, as this tiny little creature streaked across the red sand traveling faster than a cannon or the bolt fired from a compact crossbow. In just a few seconds, she crossed a distance it would take Sehn several minutes to sprint across. Frantically, he chased after her.

“Estelle! Be quiet or I shall turn you into a fucking carrier pigeon! Estelle! Stop!”

No matter how many times Sehn called after her, she refused to turn back. So he pumped his arms and chased after her, feeling like a complete idiot. He couldn’t believe this was how low he had fallen. There he was, darting across an endless red desert to chase after a “pixie” that’d literally cost him
half his soul
to create. Half! Half of his Gods-cursed soul! And all for what? To create a magical creature whose only purpose in life was to
fuck
with him? This…this was what he got when he listened to Nero. This was all the fault of that little elven brat.

I wish I had my bow with me
.
Nothing is going right today
.
Nero
,
you shall pay tremendously for this
.
You shall all pay
!
You Estelle
,
Archmage Bennet—all of you
!

Now that he was nearing the others, he could see that everyone—even Archmage Bennet now—was asleep. They wouldn’t be for long, however; not if Sehn didn’t quiet this annoying, loud, and stubborn creature that somehow came from his soul, though he refused to believe it. It must have been some kind of trick.

Sehn, panting, slowed to catch his breath once he’d finally made it back to the others. With his hands gripping his sides and somewhat bending over, he craned his neck to look up at Estelle, who was once again dancing midair.

“Don’t,” Sehn demanded, gasping for air. “Don’t even think of it.” She puckered her lips as though thinking things over. “If…if you…” Sehn held up his pointer finger, then kept it there while he took a few more deep breaths, which he required just to finish his sentence. “If you stop now, I may even consider letting you keep one of your wings, and only one will be torn off instead of both.”

Estelle stuck her tongue out. Then she dived down, landed on Rina’s belly, and with a voice surprising of such small creature, she shouted, “Hi there, little girl! You’re pretty!”

Powerless, Sehn trembled at the sight of Rina opening her eyes, rubbing them, and sitting
up
. Nero, who lay next to her, did the same. And from the looks of things, the noisy pixie had roused some of the others, as well.

No
!
This can’t be happening
!

By the time Rina sat up, Estelle had moved down to her lap. Rina looked down at the pixie, and Estelle looked back up at her in turn.

“Rina,” Sehn began calmly, “you are still sleeping. This is a dream. Nothing you are seeing is—”

“
Wow
!” Rina cried out in delight. “What’s this?”

“I’m Estelle,” Estelle said.

“Rina does not know what you are, Estelle. But Rina loves you!”

The pixie threw her fist in the air. “That’s awesome!”

“No it’s not!” Sehn yelled.

It was now too late for Sehn to stop the events that happened next. He even tried to think of a way, but it was futile, as he was now too stressed and nervous to think clearly enough in the first place. All he could do was wait with dread deep in his heart for Estelle to open her mouth and speak the truth—which she did, only a few moments later.

“I’m Sehn’s greater summon,” she said. At this, every High-Mage and Archmage awoke, as did the Holy Magus, Issius. “We should be friends, Rina.”

“Rina can have Estelle as a friend?”

She nodded, her cheeks turning red. “Yes.”

“Can I be your friend too?” Nero asked. “And wow, you’re cool.”

“Okay, we can be friends too, yep-yep-mhmm.”

“No!” Sehn roared. “I forbid any friendships or happiness from taking place. We shall all die here before such a thing is allowed. Estelle! Obey my commands and fly your pixie ass back here at once. Do not make me build a flyswatter! Everyone else, we are now going to commit an organized group suicide, beginning with Nero on the left, and ending with the Archmages. I shall die last to ensure you have all done as I’ve bid.”

Both Rina and Nero glared at him, but more so Rina. She gently hugged Estelle to her chest and made a “mean face” that burned Sehn’s wicked heart with its cuteness. Curse her as well. She too would pay the ultimate price for her slights against him.

“Sehn can’t hurt Rina’s new friend.”

“Of course I can, Rina. It’s
my
greater summon. This means I may torture, abuse, and mistreat it as I please. Now, hand it over. If you assist in its capture, I will allow you to sample its meat.”

Estelle squeaked. “You’re just joking, right? You don’t wanna eat me, Sehn. Eek! I don’t taste good, nope-nope.”

“That’s not why I’ll be eating you. I must devour you to restore my soul.”

At this point, the High-Mages and Archmages were now slowly making their way over to Rina, who sat with Estelle in her arms.

“I don’t know what to think,” Archmage Uramore said. “So I won’t think anything.”

“I’m…of much the same sentiment,” Issius agreed. “This is your greater summon, Sehn?”

Fuck
!

“My what?” Sehn asked, trying to sound innocent. “My greater summon?” He laughed nervously. “Wait, you think…that
she
…? Foolish mages! Of course this is not my greater summon. This is
my ah
…this is Estelle.”

“And is Estelle your greater summon?”

“Yes,” Estelle said.

“No,” Sehn said at the same time.

“Well, which one is it?” Issius, the Holy Magus, asked.

Sehn gritted his teeth. “I have already answered your pathetic question. She is not my greater summon. She is my less-than greater summon.”

“But there’s no such thing, my good elf,” Archmage Bennet said.

“Of course there is! How dare you question me? Estelle! Attack!”

At this, David’s eyes widened, and he drew his sword. “Dad! Sehn just ordered his summon to attack you!”

“
It’s
okay, David. Calm down.”

“Did you not hear me?” Sehn barked at his minion. He pointed to Archmage Bennet. “Attack that old man. Do it now! Fight for me. Fight for your God-King, Sehn!”

Estelle shook her head. “Nuh-uh. I won’t.”

Sehn wondered if the heat he felt in his face was due to steam coming out of his ears or if he was simply warm from running so fast to get over here. Either way, he was downright pissed. Everyone seemed to be disobeying him today.

“Did you not hear me, pixie-creature?
Your
God-King and creator has ordered you to attack.”

At this, Estelle made something between a frown and a pout. “Nope. I won’t. I don’t like violence. It’s mean. I won’t hurt or kill anyone.”

“Haha. That’s funny,” David said, sheathing his sword. “Dad, do you see this? His greater summon…it is a dragonfly.”

“I’m not’a dragonfly, meanie. I’m Estelle, and I’m a pixie. We’re magical creatures, and we’re all awesome and really pretty.”

David blinked, and a look of complete seriousness came upon him. It lasted only for a moment. Then he snorted and began laughing madly at Sehn’s new minion.

“What kind of soul were you fed? I am pitying your creator. Dad, look at this thing. I can’t believe something so…useless exists.”

“I’m
not
useless,” Estelle moaned. Tears began to roll down her eyes yet again; Rina glared at David with such an intensity that Sehn figured it was now safe to assume she no longer considered the David her friend. Oddly, this caused Nero to sigh with what must’ve been relief.

“Of course you’re not useless,” David said. “You can be used to entertain children. Or maybe as some kind of ornament.”

“I’m not useless!”

“I know. I just said that.”

“Take it easy, David,” Archmage Bennet said. “It’s not nice.”

“Okay, dad. You’re right. We should respect all creatures, even the funny ones that serve little point in existing.”

“I do have a point! I am worth lots and lots and lots and lots! I’m a better greater summon than you’ll ever be, meanie! I’m Estelle, and I’m great!”

“Pfft ha-ha-ha! Forgive me, dad. It’s too funny listening to her—”

Sehn wasn’t sure at what point he’d marched up to David. And since he couldn’t even recall drawing his arm back, he certainly wasn’t aware of the distinct feeling of jaw against fist. No, these things all came to the center of his mind
after
he’d clocked the arrogant minion in his mouth.

David’s armor was heavy, and so there was a clatter even against the sand as he plopped down on top of it, moaning. He stared up at Sehn, his eyes showing a great deal of confusion in them.

“You…you hit me.”

“Yes, David, I did. And should you say another foul word about my Estelle, that sword of yours”—Sehn pointed to his blade—“shall find a new sheath in the form of your asshole! Do you understand me you fancily armored fuck? Speak!”

“I…”

“Sehn,” Archmage Bennet said, heat in his voice. “That is both my greater summon and son you just hit. I’d appreciate it if we could just—”

Sehn whirled around on him and grabbed the front of his robe, prompting the High-Mages to begin taking strides towards the two of them. If not for the Holy Magus, who ordered them to back down, Sehn would’ve had to kick the ass of like ten old people, especially after he lifted Bennet off his feet by his robe and held him there, something his friends most certainly did not appreciate.

Sehn let the old man down and then released his grip on the Archmage’s robe. He doubted he’d need to say anything else to him from now on, as merely the act of seizing him would likely be enough of a threat to make him understand the nature of things. In here, his magic was useless, and Sehn was younger and stronger than all of them were.

“If anyone insults her again,” Sehn announced, raising his voice, “I will…hmm?”

David was slowly crawling back to his feet. With all his heavy armor, it was taking him a bit of time. Sehn lifted his foot and kicked him in his chest, sending him once more onto his back just as he had been only a moment ago.