Questing Sucks! Book II (11 page)

If Sehn wasn’t bothering to disguise his fear, then the idea of flying must’ve really terrified him. Still, she didn’t want him to miss this. She turned the acceleration knob again, this time to what she estimated to be seventy percent of full acceleration. She flipped another switch and lowered the flaps on the wings, as Wolly had instructed. For just a second, or maybe even two, nothing happened. Then, with thunderous pop that made Sehn yelp, the smoke coming from the rear of the vehicle burst abruptly into two cone-shaped blue streams of fire.

Even Cah’lia screamed as the aircraft exploded forward at an impossible speed that no horse could run and no bird could fly.

Wolly had said that the thing would go fast. But there was fast, and then there was
this
.
Cah’lia had assumed that the aircraft would move slightly faster than a racehorse. But this, however, made a racehorse seem like a snail. She swore that, from this day forward, she’d never make assumptions again. The flying machine accelerated so fast that Cah’lia was pressed back against her seat and her hands trembled on the stick-like object that Wolly had claimed would control the vehicle once she was airborne.

As she and Sehn picked up even more speed, she could see seven of the nearest workshops rushing towards her, at a rate that defied logic. Sehn lost all dignity and howled like a dying wolf, though Cah’lia was quick to regain herself. She knew what she had to do next. She pulled back on the stick while keeping her eyes on what Wolly had called a “gauge.” It was a circular device with dwarven numbers on it—numbers Cah’lia couldn’t read—and a moving needle. Wolly had drawn a red line and told Cah’lia to pull back on the stick when the needle hit the red line.

The aircraft rocked violently each time they ran over uneven terrain. Cah’lia thought for a moment she was delusional, because she could’ve sworn she heard Sehn muttering prayers to the Gods—the very same Gods that he’d invented his own special holidays just to curse.

“I beg of you, Helena!” Sehn pleaded. “I shall give you four percent of all the lands I conquer. No, five percent! Just get me out of this fucking hell machine in once piece! I’ll even spare your life when I rise to the heavens and conquer the universe!”

Sehn praying to Helena was almost as wondrous as whatever dwarven miracle propelled them forward.

Cah’lia’s wonder didn’t last very long, though. It soon turned to annoyance, because seconds later, Sehn shouted, “Raurum, God of perseverance! Did you hear what I just said to Helena? Well, fuck her! That was all a trap. Join me and I will give you three percent of the lands I conquer plus the five percent I have promised Helena!”

Cah’lia’s mood turned bitter as she listened to Sehn go through each God and Goddess, promising them various things and trying to play them against one another. What an idiot!

Thoughts of Sehn quickly fled her mind when she realized that something was wrong; the blue needle wasn’t moving fast enough towards the red mark, and while they continued to pick up speed, it wasn’t fast enough to prevent the inevitable. They were going to plow through the workmen’s quarter.

The aircraft made a loud screech as it ran out of dirt pathway and entered onto wide, busy street that was very much populated with people. Cah’lia didn’t expect any of the humans to know what this dwarven machine was any better than she did—and she was correct. A pair of blacksmiths screamed and jumped out of the way while the vehicle rocketed through the area, its wings coming so close to clipping a forge that Cah’lia braced herself for what would likely have either flipped them over or sent them spinning out of control.

There was no hiding her fear; Cah’lia was terrified. She gripped the stick even more tightly and prayed the needle would hit the red mark soon. It was only a matter of time before the tiny aircraft crashed into something, and it was through sheer luck that this particular street was large enough to avoid colliding into something that would kill them both.

Except that
!

Two young boys, accompanied by a man who was likely their father, were moving his vegetable stand from one corner of the street to another—and they were about to crash into it.

Cah’lia held out her hands to protect her face, hoping the fragile vehicle would be able to withstand the collision. As though guided by the Gods’ own luck, the aircraft smashed through the wooden stand without suffering any damage, and the two boys and their father managed to get out of the way. Wooden chips flew over the top of the aircraft, but none landed inside. The worst part of it was the crunching sound followed by the screams of even more people who’d been crossing the street and were now scrambling to get out of the way.

“What in the Gods is that thing?” someone cried. It was an elderly man, whose wife grabbed him by the waist and pulled him out of the way with precious seconds to spare. Cah’lia watched the world rush by as the little machine picked up more speed and more people rushed to avoid being run over. Shouts of terror filled the air, and Cah’lia promised to personally apologize to these people when she returned—
if
she returned.

We will make it back
.
We will
!

Her breath caught in her lungs. Just ahead, they approached a three-story building she assumed was used to store broken or out-of-use tools. There was no way she’d be able to avoid it. And unlike the fragile wooden vegetable stand, this building would crush Cah’lia and Sehn like a pair of bugs.

She looked down at the gauge.
Almost there
,
almost there
!

The factory was sturdy, built of brick and mortar. Cah’lia watched anxiously as the needle closed the last bit of distance. The moment it hit the red mark, she tugged back on the stick, and for a fearful moment, she thought she was falling backwards.

The head of the aircraft lifted off the ground, and like a gryphon rising into the sky, they lifted into the air. Cah’lia had no time to enjoy this new sensation—the building was still closing in on them, and they weren’t climbing nearly fast enough to avoid it.

She tugged the stick to the right and then struggled not to vomit as the aircraft unexpectedly rotated. Now, she was both leaning backwards and to the right, grateful that her safety harness was keeping her from falling out of the side of the aircraft. The rear of the flying machine came within striking distance of the building, and the flames from the jets started small fires on the middle floors. Cah’lia hoped no one was inside. One second went by—then two. Then Cah’lia exhaled, realizing they’d safely passed it by.

Little by little, they gained distance from the ground, until like a God looking upon the world, she now had a full view of the city—all of it. The people were like ants, looking up at her while scurrying from place to place, many of them stopping what they were doing and pointing at her.

“Sehn!” Cah’lia cried victoriously. “We’re flying! We’re flying!” She grew fearful when he didn’t respond. “Sehn—hey, are you okay? Sehn!”

She risked turning slightly in her seat to look behind at him. His eyes rolled towards the back of his head and drool dripped down from both sides of his mouth. He was out cold. She laughed. “Big, scary Great Sehn. Can’t even handle flying.”

He’d wake up soon, and Cah’lia hoped that, with the danger behind them, Sehn could appreciate the beauty laid out before them. She had never felt so alive.

We did it
,
Sehn
.

Sehn licked his lips and stretched his arms, yawning. Had those annoying bells finally stopped ringing? Also, why was his bed so uncomfortable? He opened his eyes and tried to stand up, causing a dull ache as he bumped his head against something in front of him.

“Sehn, you’re awake,” Cah’lia said. “Look around. It’s…it’s beautiful. And don’t worry. I figured out how to close the top so it won’t be so scary. You’ll feel like you’re inside something now and the wind isn’t so bad.”

The memory returned in a flash. Sehn grabbed the sides of his seat while acid stormed into his belly. Looking around, there was no denying it—Sehn was traveling through the sky in the dwarven flying machine.

“Relax back there. We’re fine. I’ve got this under control.”

It wasn’t so much the idea of flying that terrified Sehn as the lack of control. At least with a gryphon, the creature—like all living things—would be subservient to his commands if properly trained. But a machine? How could anyone make demands of something that had no life?

The vibrating hum of the aircraft was an ever-present reminder of Sehn’s predicament. The beautiful Valley of Hahl, which Sehn had so painstakingly traveled through only a week before, was now miles below him. Sehn wasn’t able to contain his surprise as he noticed some of the smaller mountains and other familiar landmarks. This shouldn’t have been possible! They were at least four days out of Hahl, but they’d only been flying for…what, a few hours if even that? Sehn wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure for how long he’d been uncons—ah, engaged in a tactical sleep-retreat. Sehn grabbed the sides of his seat, needing something to hold on to.

Cah’lia’s breathing became uneven and muffled, and it made Sehn burn with anger. This wasn’t the first time she’d done this. It meant she was trying to conceal her chuckles.

“What are you laughing at, Cah’lia?”

“Sorry,” she said, “it’s just that when I looked over my shoulder, I saw you grabbing the sides of your seat. Sehn, you do realize that letting go won’t make you fall, right?”

“Hah! Of course I know that. I only wanted to see if you knew it, too.”

“Sure you did.”

Sehn made a mental note to be angry with Cah’lia later. For now, he was too amazed by the sights below him. Everything looked textured and unreal. Smoke rising from the hot springs looked as if they were plumes from small candles, and were those little dot-sized things animals? Peering ahead, the newfound view of the mountains left Sehn speechless. As wondrous as the valley appeared from the ground, it was twice as incredible viewed from the sky.

“This is real,” Sehn whispered. “Wolly actually made this happen.”

Cah’lia pressed a button and pulled a lever. Then she twisted in her seat and smiled at Sehn. “Now you’re getting it. It’s amazing, right?”

Sehn nodded. “But why couldn’t that not-so-foolish little dwarf build us something that can take us all the way to Magia? How is it we can go this far and not just a little bit more? I noticed that whenever you pull back on that stick-thing we go higher. Who cares what Wolly said? Let’s try going to Magia anyway.”

“That’s a bad idea. I mean, I’m not sure why this thing works the way it does, or why it won’t take us high enough to reach Magia, but I think it has something to do with the way the wings function. Wolly said if we tried to climb beyond a certain altitude we’d stall out and come crashing back down. It’s too risky.”

Sehn shuddered at the thought of the machine failing. “Hmm, perhaps you are right for once, Cah’lia. We can’t take that risk. Not to mention that if we crash this far from Hahl, we’ll have to spend an entire week walking back.”

Cah’lia rolled her eyes. “Yes, Sehn, because
that’s
the reason we don’t want to fall through the sky—so we don’t have to walk back.”

Foolish woman
,
Sehn growled in his mind.
You have not deceived the Great Sehn
,
for he has detected your sarcasm
.
I will crush you for this later
.

The tension faded as time went on, and while Sehn didn’t grow accustomed to flying, he did find it more acceptable, though a slight discomfort lingered. At one point, they flew directly over one of the taller mountains. It’d been odd, because they only appeared to be a tree’s height above the ground during these times, which somewhat decreased the sensation of being so high in the air. Sehn had been tempted to jump out of the aircraft while he still had a guaranteed chance of surviving, but he’d restrained himself.

“Cah’lia I wonder something,” Sehn said. “Why do you think the dwarves have never shared this technology with elves or humans before?”

“Not sure.” Cah’lia’s skill at operating the aircraft seemed to increase with each passing second. She fiddled with the various instruments while responding. “I think it’s because they fear it would be used for war.”

“War? What good would something like this be in a war?”

“Well, think about it. If a larger version of something like this exists, then just imagine the possibilities. Entire armies could fit into these machines and they could be transported back and forth between enemy lines. For all we know, these flying machines could be used as weapons, too. What if you dumped barrels of exploding power down on a city from the sky?”

Sehn turned the thought over in his mind, unconvinced. Who would have the nerve to kill thousands of people from the sky? There was no honor in that. Battle was conducted with bow and sword, not cloud and powder!

“I think we’re almost there—look!”

Sehn leaned forward and looked over Cah’lia’s shoulder, through the front of the aircraft. There was a mountain that stood taller than all others in Hahl, with white flakes of snow and evergreen trees dotting its surface. The sight awed Sehn. He wondered if any intelligent beings had ever set foot on the top of Gryphon-Head Mountain. Legend said that only one man in history had ever climbed it, a human explorer named Arcanthus Green. Of course, legend had to be wrong, though, because Sehn was neither a human nor had he traveled through time, and only Sehn could be the first to do things.

He watched through the front window as the aircraft reached the mountain, soaring just above the tree line. He couldn’t hide his feeling of excitement. Sure, it wasn’t Magia, but it was still a rare, exotic location that few, if any, would ever see.

“All right, get ready for landing, Sehn. I’m taking us in. There’s a small clearing just ahead. Ah, this isn’t going to be as easy as taking off.”

Cah’lia pulled on a lever and the wings made a clicking sound. She gently raised the stick, which Sehn assumed controlled the altitude, and the aircraft rocked, hard enough to make Sehn hit his head on the back of Cah’lia’s chair.

“This is definitely not going to be easy,” Cah’lia repeated. “Sehn, tighten your safety harness, because this is going to be a bumpy landing.”

“What do you mean?” Sehn shouted. “I thought going into the air was the hard part. How in the fucking
FUCK
can it be harder to go in a downward direction than an upward one? Only a woman could have this problem. I knew I should’ve been the air machine operator.”

“The pilot,” Cah’lia corrected. “And be quiet. I need to concentrate if I’m going to keep us alive.”

Her lack of respect gnawed at Sehn, because he couldn’t show her the same. How dare Cah’lia tell him to be quiet? He decided to obey, if for no other reason than self-preservation, but as soon as this foolish aircraft had landed, Sehn was going to make her pay.

The aircraft made a continuous, violent movement while Cah’lia used the dwarven magic stick—or whatever it was—to lower them to the ground. Sehn concealed a whimper. Why was this so difficult? None of it made any sense. Going upwards required effort. Sehn knew because he remembered climbing up a mountain on the way to Hahl—the memory still sent pain into his ankles—but going down? That was supposed to be a nice, easy little thing. So, by Sehn’s superior and Godly logic, Cah’lia was simply fucking everything up with her woman-brain.

“You do realize you just said that whole thing out loud, right?” Cah’lia asked. “I’m messing things up with my…‘woman-brain’?”

Sehn clasped a hand over his mouth. He forgot that sometimes he mumbled to himself when nervous. Cah’lia quickly pulled the stick back and forth, causing the aircraft to shake with such ferocity that Sehn, caught off guard, bumped his head against Cah’lia’s seat hard enough to leave a bruise on his forehead.

“Whoops,” Cah’lia said innocently. “I’m still learning the controls.”

Sehn rubbed at the spot between his eyes, amazed. For the first time, it occurred to him that Cah’lia was becoming increasingly more the…dominant one between them? No, that couldn’t be it, because Sehn would never allow such a travesty. Yet she was fighting back against all the things she used to let slip.

Is that what she meant by being my equal
?
But I thought equality meant that she only had to say prayers in my name an ‘equal’ number of times as everyone else
?
Don’t tell me she meant…
?
How fucking dare she
!
So now I not only have to respect her
,
but I have to also face consequences for my actions
,
too
?
This is bullshit
!

Sehn decided to worry about his Cah’lia problem later. For the time being, he refocused his attention on the ground, which was coming up at them fast. Cah’lia pulled back on the stick and the aircraft gained some more altitude.

“Why are you going up, Cah’lia? We need to go downward, fool!”

“Sehn, if you don’t shut up while I’m piloting, I will throw you out of this aircraft. I’m trying to level-off. This is hard enough without you being a backseat pilot.”

“I’m not being a—”

“Yes you are!” she snapped.

“I am merely offering constructive criticism.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not performing the miracle of flight good enough for you, Sehn? Do you need me to fly with my feet? Will that impress you?”

The harsh tone in her voice shocked Sehn. “That’s not what I was—”

“Enough! Get ready, because if we don’t make that clearing up ahead, I don’t think we’ll be lucky enough to find another.”

Sehn saw what she was referring to, a more or less flat, snow-covered strip of land that ran between two sets of widely spaced trees. He heard Cah’lia suck in air. The aircraft lowered, and despite knowing it wouldn’t do him any good, Sehn once again gripped the sides of his seat. The hum of the aircraft turned into a screech as the snowy floor raced towards them. Sehn felt like an idiot. What had he been thinking? Who in their right mind would get into a machine like this? They were going to die!

Die
?
No
!
I mustn’t die without one final death cry
.

“I’m the greatest at everything!” Sehn roared as the aircraft plunged towards the mountain surface. “Sehn once lived!”

Things happened quickly. The aircraft sunk just below the treetops then low enough for Sehn to see the branches and what looked like a frozen stream that divided two sections of trees. Before long, he could no longer tell how high they were—it couldn’t have been more than a few feet above the surface, which meant that any moment now…

Sehn groaned as the aircraft touched down with a violent bump. Fortunately, this time he protected his face with his hands and avoided another nasty encounter with Cah’lia’s seat-turned-weapon. But it was only the first bump, so he held his breath. This was it. How much worse would it get? How much pain would Sehn have to endure? He prepared himself for whatever horrible thing came next.

“I think we’re okay,” Cah’lia said to Sehn’s surprise. “I’m slowing us down now. We’re on the ground.”

“S-seriously?” Sehn asked. “That was it?”

The aircraft, which raced by the trees fast enough to make them seem a blur, slowed until it traveled no faster than a horse, and soon after the speed of a mule. When it was finally reduced to a crawl, Sehn let out a grand, victorious laugh.

“
Hahaha
!
That was by far the most boring trip the Great Sehn has ever embarked upon. Who knew flying could be so boring and not scary at all?”

Cah’lia sighed. “I’m too exhausted to even bother responding to that.”

The vehicle came to a complete stop, and Cah’lia turned a knob. The hum, which Sehn had become used to hearing, died down until the only sound was the heavy breeze from the mountains. The propeller slowed and came to a rest, signaling the end of their flight. Sehn had to give Cah’lia credit—she’d done it.

And to think, he’d been so worried that this would be a dangerous trip. Nothing in this world was dangerous to the Great Sehn! Least of all some pathetic flying machine. He hopped out of his seat and flipped open the barrier atop the aircraft, letting in air that was cold enough to make him shiver.

“Sehn, no! Don’t get out until I can be sure we won’t—”

“I have arrived, Gryphon-Head Mountain!” Sehn announced, ignoring Cah’lia’s cowardly warning. “Prepare to be tamed by me, the one and only—”

Sehn decided to make his performance even grander. Before shouting his Godly name, he jumped out of his seat and did a front flip out of the aircraft, landing gracefully on his feet.