Promise Me (15 page)

Casper was saying something about Teague.  “Getting worse,” he nodded. 

Orion grimaced and set his fork down.  “That’s a bitch,” he shook his head. 

Gray noticed the question in my eyes.  “Rheumatoid arthritis,” he said quietly.  “He can’t sit a bike for
too long anymore.” 

I thought about the older man sitting alone in a bar clenching his fist painfully as he tried to drink and forget.  I felt a pang of sympat
hy for him, no matter how ornery he was. 

Kira scoffed at me when I put a plate together for Teague.  I loaded it up with dinner and a sampling of the desserts which didn’t fall into Brandon’s eager mouth, covering the whole thing with tinfoil. 

“He’ll just grumble and throw it in the fucking dirt,” she said, sitting on the counter and nibbling a Dean Man’s Bone. 

I shrugged.  “
He might.  But at least I’ll have made the gesture.” 

Kira laughed.  “You’re too good, Promise.  You make the rest of us look like the sorry assholes that we are.” 

“You’re not,” I said seriously.  “You’re all wonderful.” 

Rachel turned from the wink and squeezed me lightly around the waist.  “Go,” she said.  “Before Gray explodes.  I’ll clean
this shit up.” 

When I returned to the living room
, Gray was standing in the far corner, talking quietly with Orion and Casper.  I started to walk that way but he shot me a warning look.  He’d already explained to me how it was; Defiant club business was not for my ears.  I hung back, setting the plate on the table and sliding into a chair, waiting.  

Only Brandon remained
at the table, eating what was left of the biscuits and drinking directly from a bottle of red wine. 

“You should open a damn restaurant,” he said, belching lightly.  Then he nodded toward Gray, dropping his usual foolishness and being serious for a moment.  “He’s so fucking happy, you know.” 

I was pleased.  “Yeah?”

Br
andon gave me a sincere smile.  “Yeah,” he said. 

“Me too,” I said quietly. 

The men finished their conversation and Gray ambled over, letting his arm travel automatically around me.  “What are you telling my girl?” 

Brandon took another drink.  “I was telling her the truth.  That it’s good to see you whipped.” 

“Hey fuck you, man.” 

Brandon held up a hand in mock defense.  “I’m not fucking with you. 
I
want to be whipped.” 

“Why don’t you follow Mad around and take his leftovers?  There’s plenty.”

“Screw that.  There’s only so much casual skank pussy you can do.”

“How philosophical.”  Grayson jerked his head in my direction.  “Anyway, watch the l
anguage, dipshit.” 

Brandon waved a hand.  “Ah, she’s one of us.”  He rose suddenly and grabbed me in a great hairy bear hug
, his rough beard tickling my shoulder.  Then he hugged Gray, slapping him hard on the back.  “Shit, I love you guys.”

“Just don’
t kiss me, you fucking Wookie.”  Gray slapped him back.  “Love you too, buddy.”

I was always captivated by the casual banter of the men.  They were so rough with each other, yet there was an undercurrent of
strong affection no matter what.  It was, as Gray had said, a family. 

Gray tried to nudge me towards Teague’s door with the plate of food but I stayed back, watching
in the swiftly falling dusk as he knocked.  Teague emerged looking tired and worn. He poked at the foil on the plate and looked underneath, then shook his head with a smile.  He smacked Gray lightly on the shoulder and then he peered behind him, searching me out with an appreciative nod before disappearing indoors. 

“Now,” I said, taking Gray’s arm as we walked the remaining distance home.  “How about you tell me more about those plans for tonight?”

His hand dropped to my waist.  His voice was low.  “You like it when I talk shit, don’t you?”

“I love it.”  I pushed my hand under his shirt, running my fingers along his hot skin. 

He grabbed my hand, yanking me around the corner of my old trailer, backing me into the hard aluminum wall and putting a powerful arm on either side of me, trapping me in a delicious way. 

He ran his hands up and down my body, his eyes taking me in with dangerous hunger.  “I want to fuck you from every angle, baby.”

“How?”  I parted my legs a little, letting his muscular thigh slide between them and then grinding hard.  “How will you fuck me, Gray?”

He began kneading my breasts and I leaned into him.  “I think I’ll take you from behind after you suck me off for a while.
”

“In front of the mirror?”

“Hell yes, in front of the mirror.”

I clutched his neck as he kissed the
delicate skin along my collarbone and dipped his head lower.  I felt his hands going around my back, searching for the zipper of the dress and finding it.  The blanket of night was settling fast.  I heard Orion’s deep voice and Kira’s playful response as they lingered out of sight outside by the house.   None of the other trailers were in direct line of sight and it was highly unlikely someone would come rustling out of the desert brush in the dark.  Yet somehow the idea that someone might see us was oddly exciting. 

“Grayson,”
I whispered as the dress straps fell from my shoulders.  “I’m not wearing any underwear.” 

He reached and felt for himself, groaning.  “Shit, you’re crazy.” 

“You love it.” 

“
I love you, Promise.” 

“Then fuck me.”  I reached down and unbuckled his pants, smiling at the stiff greeting I got.  “Fuck me now.” 

“God
damn
it,” he moaned, entering me as I climbed to his waist to give him better access.  He paused, hard inside my body, looking me in the eyes as the coyotes began their night music.  “I can’t believe you’re mine.” 

I pressed on his shoulders, pushing myself up and down, riding him.  “I’m yours, Gray,” I breathed.  “Always.”

He spun abruptly so that his back was against the dirty wall of the trailer. His hands reached underneath the soft drapery of the dress and gripped the flesh of my backside as he moved my body decisively up and down.  “Always,” he confirmed, quickening his pace.  “Always.” 

“
Yes,” I agreed, and then my body seized with the usual convulsion of bliss as I said his name again and again, my voice mingling with the animated songs of the coyotes.

 
We shook in one another’s arms and stayed still for several long minutes, until we were strong enough to separate and walk the few yards to Gray’s trailer. 

As soon as we were inside he promptly undressed me. 

I teased him.  “Ready again this soon?”

“No,” he shook his head, removing his pants nonetheless.  “But I still want to feel you.” 

He led me to the bed and laid down, pulling me on top of him.  The muscles between my legs still pulsed and begged.  I knew enough about myself by now to realize I could climax again quickly.  Gray had learned the ways of my body too.  His hands stroked my back, my thighs, reaching between them so that he could satisfy me again. 

“Not yet,” I whispered, closing him off.  I wanted to wait for him. 
We kissed deeply for a long time, his hands wound roughly in my hair, our tongues teasing one another.  When he began hardening underneath me, he started to roll me over on the bed. 

“No,” I stopped him
, rising and straddling his thickly muscular frame. 

He pushed himself inside, rocking slightly underneath me.  “
This how you want it, angel?”

“Yes,” I smiled wryly
, remembering what Kira had said about being on top.  “I’m testing out a theory.”

“Well then,”
he gripped my hips, “use me as you see fit, Miss Promise.”

“Gray,” I moaned, tossing my
head back and starting to move more aggressively. 

He knew what I wanted to hear.  “You’re so beautiful, baby.”  His hands fondled my breasts, grazing the nipples in a tease before he seized me again tightly.  “You get me so fucking hard I can’t think.  I want you all the goddamn time.  I
used to jerk off five times a day thinking about you.  I wanted to be inside of you just like this.” 

“
Yes,” I whispered, bucking more fervently, getting closer and closer.  “Just like this. I love you, Gray.”  

“I love you, honey.  Now come on, I can feel how hot you’
re getting.  Let go and come hard.  Scream it. Jesus, fuck yeah. There you go.  Shit, I’m gonna come inside you now.”

  I didn’t let up as I felt him stiffen and shoot his hot release deep. 
It was exhilarating, being in control that way.  I let him slide out me with reluctance and he pulled me sharply down to his side.  His kiss, though, was gentle. 

“I mean it, Promise.  I always
mean it.” 

I clutched him sleepily.  “I know, Grayson.  I do too.”

There was the persistent sound of hammering.  I moved toward it down a narrow hallway, pushing aside the gauzy films of white
wedding dress tulle which choked and threatened to overcome me. It seemed the fabric was alive and clutched at my limbs insidiously as I tried desperately to move past it to the place the hammering was coming from.  It seemed important that I reach the source of the noise.   I fought my way out of the web and was afraid.  I whispered his name, the one name which had ever brought me peace, but there was no answer.  I knew that if I turned the corner I would see something terrible.   Yet I had to turn the corner.  There was nowhere else to go but backwards and that was impossible.  My eyes blinked at the sight in front of me.  A human-sized bird was pecking at the thick wall which we were both trapped behind.  I gasped and it turned around.  It had the beseeching face of my sister. 

I awoke with a soundless scream.  Gray’s warm chest was under my cheek and I nuzzled him, grateful for the strong, close sound of his heartbeat.  His arms circle me in his sleep.  But I could still hear the hammering. 

“Who the fuck?” Gray muttered grumpily and I realized it wasn’t hammering at all.  It was knocking, the hollow sound of a fist striking the thin metal door of the trailer.

“All right, dammit!”  Grayson planted a light kiss on my shoulder and pulled on a pair of pair of boxers, taking several long strides to the door.   He pause
d to peer out of a small window and frowned.  The sun had not even peeked over the horizon yet. 

“It’s Rachel,” he told me, already opening the door. 

Rachel pushed past him, her eyes wide.  She wore only a sexy red nightie, her full breasts straining against the lace, her hair a riot around her face.  She held her tablet and the blue light of the screen reflected eerily on her skin. 

“Promise,” she said in an urgent voice, holding her tablet out. 
“This article is several days old.”

I took it, rubbing my eyes and struggling to focus on what she was trying to tell me.  Words, phrases, jumped out at me. 

Josiah Bastian. Leader of the religious sect known as the Faithful Last Disciples and Saints
. 
Church known for isolation of its members and forced polygamous marriages.  Dead at age 72.

Josiah Bastian.  The sick old bastard who had forcibly wed a sixteen year old girl. 
At my cry, Grayson rushed to my side, reading over my shoulder.  He put a comforting hand on my back as I scanned the article. 

“So what
the hell does it mean,” he wondered, scratching his head.  “For your sister?”

I honestly wasn’t sure
.  “Rachel?” I asked, looking at my cousin imploringly, wanting her to help me make sense of this. 

She chewed a fingernail and appeared troubled.  “Apparently he’
d been sick for some time. Lung cancer.  They were keeping it quiet.  He must have been pretty fucking far gone even when he took Jenny. As far as where she is now,” she shrugged miserably.  “I couldn’t say.  Her sister wives in Delta City wouldn’t want to keep her.”

“And if the union was
n’t consummated,” I ventured, thinking.  “She would be returned to my father in Jericho Valley.” 

“Yes,” Rachel nodded.  “Probably.”

Gray pulled me to him, sensing I needed it.  He was right.  Feeling his broad, strong chest at my back helped cool the turmoil in my mind.  These past weeks, even as I healed and fell completely in love, my heart was still broken.  I’d sacrificed myself, thinking I could save her, only to discover she was already lost.

Josiah Bastian’s sick mind had finally succumbed to his sick body.  Perhaps it had been too late for him to leave his mark on Jenny.  My heart lightened at the thought and Gray tightened his arms around me. 

Rachel was watching me.  “She’s still trapped with them, Promise.”  It was a simple statement of fact, and also a warning.  We both knew the men who’d raised us were zealots of the most dangerous kind. Worse, they were protected by an intricate network of money and power whose reach extended far beyond the church.  There was no easy answer as to how to remove my sister from that world.  And even that wasn’t enough anymore.  Someone had to stop it; the cycle of cruelty and oppression, before it infected the next generation. 

Rachel knew my thoughts.  She looked at me with pitying despair. 

“Shit,” she finally said with a sigh, finally realizing the state of her undress and crossing her arms over her breasts with a frown,  “Cas will wonder why the hell I’m not heating him up first thing.”   She threw me a glance as I reached to hand her the tablet back.  “We’ll talk later, okay girl?  Watch over her, Gray. Hell, I know you always do.”

I sat quietly in Grayson’s arms for a full minute after Rachel let the door whisper to a close.  He kissed the top of my head and
then stepped over to the kitchen, preparing a pot of coffee. 

“You okay?” he finally asked me. 

I stared dully at the dark bed sheet.  “I don’t know.” 

He seemed startled when
I jumped out of bed abruptly, shimmying into a t-shirt of his which had been casually tossed on the floor.  It came down to my knees. 

Grayson set two mugs of coffee on the table and sat down.  I reached for one and took a sip, but was too restive, wired, to settle down.  I dipped my finger into the hot contents of the coffee cup
, relishing the burning sting. 

“Gray,” I said.  “It’s early still.  Will you take me shooting?” 

I knew what he meant now, about soothing in the chaos in your head by handling something more powerful than yourself.  Gray was patient, allowing me to shoot as many times as I wanted.  I was beginning to hit the targets more than I missed them and the fact gave me some grim pleasure. 

The sun was rising higher, heating the otherworldly landscape.  In a short while it would be unbearable. 

“You’re angry,” Gray observed softly.  He hadn’t touched me since we’d left the trailer.

“Of course I’m fucking angry,” I grumbled. 

“Good,” he nodded approvingly.  “It’s good to be fucking angry, Promise. Just learn when to push it back.  Don’t let it overcome you.” 

I’d been looking through the sight, aiming for a dented can.  I lowered the rifle
and stared at him. The look he gave me was a challenge.  He stood there with his hands on his hips, waiting. 

“What the hell do you know?” I heard the venom in my voice but I couldn’t stop it. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged.  “Everything.”

I stared at the rifle in my hands.  Suddenly it seemed horribly heavy.  Gray reached over and took it
from me, unloading the bullets in silence.

“I’m sorry,” I said, putting a hand on his arm. 

He was surprised.  “What for?”

“I
snapped at you.  For no reason.”

He leaned the rifle carefully against a palo verde tree.  “You think I expect you to be nothing but sweetness and light a hundred percent of the time?”   He sighed and looked distantly towards the hill with the painted Q on the side.  “I’m not trying to take away your right to be furious.  I spent a hell of a lot of days balled up in an untouchable fury.  I could have easily wasted the rest of my life that way.  I saw men do it all the time.
”

“And you think that’s what I’m doing?”

He was thoughtful.  “No.  Not yet.”  He touched my cheek.  “Fuck, it hurts to see you in pain.  I just want to take it all away.”

“Grayson,” I said softly, taking his hand and pressing it over my heart.  “You do take it away. 
You know that, don’t you?”  I struggled, trying to find the truest words.  “You’re my lover, my friend, and all that’s good in the world.” 

He laughed hoarsely.  “
Shit, Promise, you wouldn’t say that if you knew everything about me.” 

“
Yes I would.  I know everything that matters.”

“Promise,” he said, pressing his hand
more firmly against my chest.   He started to say something but changed his mind, shaking his head and looking at the ground.  He breathed deeply and then looked up.  “Damn, I love you,” he said with a quiet ferocity. 

“I love you too,” I told him and melted into his arms. 

We sat in the dirt together and watched the world brighten under the rising sun.  Gray talked casually of the things he somehow knew a lot about.  Geodes and coyotes, desert plants and the ancient civilizations which once occupied this ground.  I listened to the sound of his voice and was grateful.  I’d never felt this close to anyone.  It was more than sex.  It was more than friendship.  It was something which had never existed before.  It was us. 

Gradually the edgy disquiet which ha
d brought us out here faded.   When the temperature began to soar, we packed up and headed back to town. 

After
we returned to his trailer, the place I now thought of as ‘home’, we undressed in front of each other, saying nothing.  I knelt in front of him and took him in my mouth, tasting every inch, teasing the tip and feeling him harden between my lips until I knew he wouldn’t be able to stand it much longer. 

And when that moment came I
turned around, bending slightly, guiding him inside as he massaged my breasts and tried to last.   I let him know when I was almost there and he drove himself deeper as I shook underneath him in a frenzy.  Then he followed me. 

Brandon started banging on the door when we were still wrapped around each other. 

“Quit fucking and let’s go!” he yelled.  They were already supposed to be over in Blythe, finishing the job they’d started the day before. 

Gray swore and jumped over to the bathroom.  “Tell that hairy dick I’ll be out in a minute.” 

Brandon was grumpy but he cheered up considerably when I offered him a slice of the banana bread I’d baked the day before. 

“Doesn’t take much to make you happy, does it?” I laughed at him. 

He brushed the crumbs out of his beard.  “Nope.  You might want to spread the word.” 

“You telling me you can’t find a nic
e girl to take care of you?”

He thought about it.  “I had a nice girl once.  Her name was Abby.”

I was curious.  “What happened to her?”

He shrugged.  “How the fuck should I know?  I said I only had her once.” 

Grayson emerged, still pulling his clothes on.  He gave me a quick kiss and accepted the last piece of bread I offered him. 

“Love you, babe.” 

Brandon had already tumbled out the door, muttering irritably.  Grayson was about to follow him.

“Gray!”

He turned around.  I lifted up my t-shirt.

“Think about me,” I said emphatically. 

He grinned.  “I always do.” 

I could hear Brandon exclaiming on the other side of the door. 

“Damn, I saw that!  Jesus, now I’m all hard and shit.” 

I looked out the window in time to see Gray smack him on the over the head.

As I leaned against the closed door my smile faded as I remembered Rachel’s news.  It was good, I decided.  Not only was Josiah Bastian gone, there was a high likelihood that in light of his frailty Jenny had not been subjected to physical assault.  Still, Rachel was correct.  Jenny was still under their control.  A period of mourning would follow and then it was only a matter of time before my uncle forced her into another sham marriage.

I sighed heavily and got in the shower, planning to dress and head over to the bar.  Perhaps Rachel would have some ideas about what to do. 

The severe heat outside seemed to smother all movement.  Even the usual stirrings of the lizards in the brush were quiet.  In just a short walk across the dusty yard the skin on my bare legs burned from the brief exposure. 

Rachel was sitting on a stool behind the bar, laconically going over some paperwork.  She smiled at me when I walked in. 

“I hate this crap,” she said, gesturing to the papers. 

“What is it?”

“Order history.  Casper had a shit fit over the state of the receipts so I told him I would try to sort it out.” 

“Oh.”  I sat on a stool opposite from her.  “You guys fighting?”

“Nah.”  Rachel’s eyes twinkled.  “Well, yes.  But it’s a game.  We fight and then we fuck like animals.” 

Once her words would have shocked me, but now I only laughed. 

Rachel’s eyes grew serious.  “What are you thinking?”

I knew what she meant.  “I was going to ask you the same thing.” 

“Well I wish I knew what to tell you, hon.  But I did I wouldn’t have run out of that mania ten years ago without looking back.”

I chewed my lip, thinking.  She had summed it all up the first time.  There was no easy way out of this. 
 

Kira bounced in looking fresh and happy.  

“I think those prenatal vitamins are making me puke more,” she said cheerfully. 

It was always hard not to smile at Kira.  She had an infectious e
xuberance about her which seemed to lighten the air in a room.