Project: Killer (Project Series Book 1) (6 page)

two days later

maggie

I could hardly
answer the questions Gauge was shooting at me. The second I gave him the answer to one question, he was asking another.

They still hadn’t told me where I was or why I was still being kept here. It had been two days, two days of being held up in that room. There were no windows, no breeze, or sun. The rooms were nice, but they weren’t the same as having my own freedom. They brought me meals, made sure I had fresh towels, and Gauge had even sent someone to my place to grab some of my things, but every visit always lead to the inevitable. The questions. The accusing looks. I wondered if I would ever be able to leave…

Then again, after having just found Diesel, I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave. Unless he was leaving with me.

“I told you everything already,” I said for the third time or maybe it was the fourth. I couldn’t remember. All the questions started to blur into one. My voice was still very much hoarse and talking only made it worse.

“You work for PGI Corporation, yet you don’t know what they do there besides find cures for things such as cancer and other diseases?” Something in what he said caused me to tilt my head sideways at him. Either he didn’t believe me or he liked listening to me talk.

“That is exactly what I told you, what I have been telling you, and what I will continue to tell you. The company comes up with miracle drugs and shit. I don’t know what else they do. I’ve only been there six months. I was planning to work my way up into the curing sector.” Gauge watched me intently as if he thought he could catch me in a lie. His eyebrows rose and then came back down as he digested what I had said.

“Until what?” he questioned in an accusing tone as if he had found a hole in something I had said. I shook my head in astonishment. What the fuck was he talking about?

“What do you mean until what?” I ran a hand through my hair, fully intent on ripping it out. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong, and all his questions made me nervous. My stomach rolled in fear, and tension filled my muscles. Of course, I wanted to run. I didn’t understand what it was that I was doing wrong.

“I mean, you made it sound like there was going to be an ‘until’ or a ‘but’ somewhere in your sentence.” He was definitely trying to find me in a lie. I wanted to ignore him but couldn’t because he was standing right in front of me. Instead, my mind automatically turned to my thoughts on Diesel. How he was still alive. How I had taken that shit job just to get closer to doing something for him. Now he was alive, and I felt like finding a cure was the last thing I needed to do. He didn’t even know who I was or what it was that made us who we were.

“Until Diesel.” I let the name roll off my tongue like I hadn’t said or thought the name a million times over. As if it wasn’t him who made my heart beat.

“Hmm….” Gauge scratched at his chin, allowing silence to fall between us before speaking again. “I want you to know you aren’t going to be leaving this place for a while.” He paused, a dark look showing in his green eyes. “And when you do end up leaving here, it will be to do a few things for us.” It was as if he was warning me, but about what? What was their plan, and where did I fit into it.

A film of sweat formed on my hands, and I wiped them off on my jeans. My saliva felt like sludge sliding down my throat as I swallowed. I could do this.
Right?

It was then I realized what he had said and anger shot through me like it never had.

“What do you mean I can’t leave? I have a right to leave. I’m a human. I’m a US citizen. I have rights, damn it.” I tried to keep my voice strong, attempting to get my point across. Gauge pushed out of his chair away from the table only to lean on it. His body was pure muscle. His face a mask of anger.

“Well, your
rights
are now useless. Your
rights
are gone. The fact that you work for the very company that put these men here takes those rights away. You deserve nothing from us,” he hissed. Long gone was the negotiating.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I stuttered over my words, confused as to what PGI had to do with me being held wherever it was they were holding me. Things were failing to line up correctly, and I was starting to wonder if they even have a legit reason to keep me here.

Anger zinged through the air. “Let me put this as easily as I can. The company you work for transformed young men into genetically altered beings.” My breath stilled in my chest—it couldn’t be true. It had to be a lie, a ploy to get me to stay here.

“They wiped their memories away, except for the ones they wanted them to remember. Trained some of them to be lethal killing machines, forcing them to kill day in and day out. Others were turned into lab rats. Injections were forced upon them. Some were used for genetic changing drugs while others were cures for cancer. Plain and simple, they were experimental monkeys. The cure for AIDS you hear so much about…” My eyes grew wide, and I couldn’t help the hand that flew up to my mouth as he paused mid-sentence. It couldn’t be—there was no way society had allowed such a thing to take place.

“Yeah, sweetie, your people forced that on my people. That drug didn’t come about from just thin air. It was used on MY people. Processed until there was an exact cure for that disease.”

Tears formed in my eyes. How could they do that? Immediately, I wondered if Roger knew. If that was what all his secrecy was about.

“It can’t be…” The words escaped my lips. I was astonished. A tear slipped from my eye, trickling down my cheek. I watched Gauge’s eyes follow my tear. There was no compassion in his eyes, and I understood why. It was true—everything he had said was true. My heart ached, and the contents in my stomach threatened to come up.

“It is. Your tears mean nothing to us. We aren’t looking for sympathy or understanding. All we want is retribution. Which we will get in due time. For now, we will settle for what we can get. I will keep this tidbit of information between you and me as long as you do as I say.” His voice held authority and caused shivers to run down my spine. Was I being blackmailed?

“What do you want me to do?” I asked hesitantly unsure if I wanted to agree to anything he had to say. Diesel was a lethal monster now, a man I no longer knew. A smile formed on his face, and I should’ve taken it as a warning.

“I want you to work with Killer.” My jaw all but hit the floor. He wanted me to work with Killer. Killer who was technically Diesel.

“I don’t—”I didn’t get a chance to finish what I was saying because Gauge cut off my words. The table before me went flying with one swipe of his hand. With brutal force, it hit the far wall with a loud thud, and then he was right in my face like a raging bull.

“You will do whatever the fuck I tell you to do. If that little secret doesn’t help keep you in line, then the fact that I know who Killer is to you will,” he seethed. My arms went slack falling to the sides of my body. My chest heaved with every breath. How had he figured that out? How had he discovered anything about my job, about whatever it was that PGI did?

“He—”I mumbled. “He tried to kill me. He wrapped his hands around my neck until I couldn’t breathe. He isn’t the same person I knew. He doesn’t recognize me, and he doesn’t care. He was going to kill me. I saw the look in his eyes.” I sounded hysterical as I shook my head back and forth. I had once loved Diesel. But the man who almost forced the life out of me wasn’t Diesel. He was a monster, one on a mission for death.

Gauge stopped my head from shaking with a hard grip to my chin causing me to come face to face with him. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face. Terror grew deep within me. He looked like he was about to shake me to death.

“It doesn’t matter. We won’t tell him who you are until his memories allow him to remember you. That’s what you will be doing. You will be working through his emotions with him, his memories of the two of you. He won’t hurt you. He has promised not to.”

I wanted to snort. This man had a very trustworthy heart if he thought Killer wouldn’t try to take my life again if he got the chance. He had almost killed me without cause—what would he do with a cause?

“Oh, yeah, because that is so believable. In fact, almost everything you’re saying is hard to believe. Impossible even,” I said straight into his face, unable to turn away from him. His grip on my chin tightened to an almost unbearable state.

“Once you get out there and you start interacting with Killer—once you hear all he has gone through, once you spend one night listening to his screams, you will know all I have said to you is true. It’s only impossible to believe because you haven’t seen it yet.” His voice was right next to my ear, his words being forced into my mind causing me to think, making me feel.

As soon as he was done talking, he released me. I wanted to reach up and rub away the pain that had formed in my jaw, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“Report to the arena in ten minutes time. Be prepared to see him. He knows you’ll be there.” Those had been Gauge’s final words to me before he left what I now considered to be the interrogation room with a slam of the door.

The sound vibrating throughout the room shook me to the core. Diesel was alive. He was Killer. His humanity completely gone as he cared for no one but himself, and the others who were like him, but… he was alive. That was one constant in all those things, one thing that mattered above all.

I wanted to cry… to hate him for not knowing that it was me. After all this time, after all my praying, and dreams of hoping he was alive…

“I wish I was dead…”

I recall the moment he said those words to me. It was days before he actually died. Well, died a fake death. None of this made much sense to me. What I did know was when I leave this place, if what Gauge had said was true, I would do anything and everything I could to bring PGI to its knees.

Ten minutes passed faster than I thought it would. I took a deep breath as I stood. I was scared. Beyond scared. Yet butterflies filled my stomach. I had a need to see Killer even if it wasn’t meant to be. Even if he didn’t want to see me.

I walked the hallway, keeping my eyes trained on the white tiles lining the floor. The walls were painted an off-white color, which lead me to believe they painted them that color to not make it look overly clean.

I could hear the pounding of fists against a punching bag. Laughter and voices filled my ears. I wondered if they have other women here. The way Gauge talked made it sound like PGI only used men as experimental monkeys.

I stopped just shy of two doors that reminded me of a high school gymnasium’s entrance. There was a small piece of glass cut out that allowed me to peek through and look inside. On the other side of the doors was literally the biggest sports complex I had ever seen in my life. A boxing ring was centered in the middle of the room. There were mats everywhere you looked. Doors that lead to locker rooms. Men of all shapes, sizes, and ethnic colors were inside working off whatever aggression they had.

A throat cleared behind me, causing me to turn around with a shriek.

“You going in, sweetheart?” My cheeks grew red in embarrassment. I had been caught gawking. The man before me stared hard, his gray eyes darkening with every second that passed.

“Uhh…” was all I said, all I was able to get out. He was shirtless, his abs and, well, everything else on display. He gave me a dimpled grin. As he smelled the air, his nostrils flared. Then, without warning, he pushed the door behind me open drawing attention to us.

I guessed it was do or die. Turning around, I walked into the arena. Attention turned to me, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Eyes drifted upward as I stepped further into the room. 

“Welcome, Maggie,” the man who had forced me to come in said. I gave him a small smile. “Oh, and just in case you need something, my name is Jaxon.”

My stomach clenched when he turned to face me, throwing a wink my way before walking away, heading into the locker rooms.

“Maggie.” I could hear my name being called by Gauge, and I almost didn’t want to recognize him. After all, with him came Killer. The man I had once loved. Hell, who was I kidding? The man I still
did
love. My knees shook, my hands were sweating, and something inside of me said I needed to get moving.

With my face casted down toward the floor, I crossed the mats, trying to keep out of the way of those who seemed to be doing something. Once I was directly in front of them, my eyes lifted to a pair of blue eyes that had caused so many different feelings to form within me. I had lived and loved through those eyes. They were a portal to our past. A pair I knew all too well. Or used to know at the very least.

How I looked at him without feeling fear, I didn’t know. All I knew was I wanted to wrap my arms around him and beg him to remember me, to force him to see the love inside of me, the feelings I had for him. Yet even though I knew he wouldn’t, and even when he did… I didn’t know if he would look at me the same after all of this.

I didn’t know if I could pull the Killer out of him without being killed myself.

killer

She looked at
me like she was sorry, like I was the beaten down dog—as if I wanted her fucking sympathy or something.

“Maggie. Killer. Killer. Maggie.” Gauge introduced us even though he didn’t need to. I had already had my hands wrapped around her neck. I was positive we were past introductions.

I tipped my chin up acknowledging her all while watching the way her facial expressions changed. They went from shocked to sad and then to neutral as if to hide her real feelings. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to her—to bring up my past. The looks that shadowed her face told me I was going to get emotions I wasn’t comfortable with.

Calm.

No words were said by either of us, which caused the tension to pull taut like a rubber band. Her eyes bled into mine. The brown was a softness that reminded me of coffee and chocolate. Her hair was messy and had a small curl at the ends of it.

“Killer.” As she said my name, I almost groaned. Her full lips had spewed questions I didn’t want to answer just days ago. Now, with her lips saying my name, I was ready to cut the shit and do whatever I wanted with her.
Fuck her. Make her bleed.

“Killer agreed to behave with you. Your first few sessions will be in here with the rest of the men just to make sure all is okay between the two of you. Then, once things die down a bit, you can have some alone time.” Gauge talked to us as if we were children.

“That’s fine with me,” Maggie said.
Maggie.
As I rolled her name off my tongue a number of times in my mind, I realized I had heard that name before.

I cracked my knuckles watching her eyes grow wide. Was she scared of me? She should be. I was worse than any monster she had ever heard about.

Gauge shot me a warning look as he walked away leaving us with one another. The guys around the room stared for a short time watching to see what I would do next. To everyone here, I was the ticking time bomb. No one knew when a memory was going to hit me, or when I was going to go off the rails in a blaze of fury.

Maggie took a step back until she was against the far wall. From there she slid down it, sitting with her back against it. I followed suit, making sure there was distance between us. I didn’t like people touching me. More than that, I needed distance between us. My mind was racing, and there was nothing stopping me from taking her now.

“Why did you try to kill me?” Maggie asked behind a shield of dark hair. Her question startled me, yet at the same time, it humored me. I wanted to laugh. That was her opening question? I suppose she deserved an answer.

“I didn’t try to kill you. I tried to kill your friend. You got in the way. I was already too far gone to stop, so…” I trailed off. I didn’t know what else to say.

“Then why did you stop?” She looked up at me this time, her own eyes holding heat that I hadn’t seen before. Her body was small… Almost too small. She was wearing a light gray shirt and a pair of black jeans. Not what I remembered her wearing the last time I saw her, which only meant someone had gotten her some clean clothes from somewhere.

There was no saying what she looked like underneath it all. My body reacted to the thought though. My cock grew hard at the mere thought of stripping her bare and fucking her until she screamed—until her body withered beneath mine until she begged me to stop.

“I don’t know...” I growled. I knew why I had stopped, but I wasn’t going to tell her why. I didn’t trust her. I never would. Trusting humans was one of the most senseless choices I, or any of the other guys in this room, had ever made. To trust was to put your life in someone else’s hands. I had done that once before and look where it got me.

“Oh, I thought maybe it had something to do with a conscience or something.” Her tone was all smartass as she smiled. When I didn’t return the smile, it slipped from her face. Did she think this was a joke? I could feel my blood boiling with the need to feel the warmth from her blood covering my body. Coating me in slickness, covering all the memories that I wanted to leave me.

“Maggie…” I said her name as softly as I could, staring deeply into her eyes. I forced my hands to my sides afraid if I touched her, I would hurt her. “You need to be aware of something. No one in this room has a conscience. Every single person would gladly snap your neck. We don’t care for humans. We don’t care for those who watched idly as we suffered.”

Emotions swarmed her and tears formed in her eyes. I wanted to howl. Tears. They were weakness leaving the body. They were proof of heartache, of pain—somethingI could no longer experience.

“I never did those things…” Her voice hitched, which showed further why this whole deal with Gauge wouldn’t work. She was human, and I wasn’t. Her emotions were real, her feelings real. My anger and madness would destroy her.

“It doesn’t matter…” I leaned into her space causing her chest to rise and fall fast. The spike in her pulse showed fear…
Good.
“The fact that you bleed and are of flesh and bone as they are, and your mind works the same way—the fact that you probably knew and did nothing to help it…” I leaned in even closer, my nails digging into my hand painfully to remind me that touching her wasn’t ideal.

Her chest heaved another breath, and I smiled. I was a sick fuck getting off on her sadness and fear. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have let it happen…” she mumbled. I could feel the prying eyes of others on us.

“You would have because you’re just like them. If you and your friend had left me alone, you wouldn’t even be in this mess right now… You would be carrying on with your lives without a care in the world, uncaring of those who were being worked on like guinea fucking pigs.”

Another tear fell from her eye. I wanted to reach out and smash the droplet. Make it nonexistent. In the same instant though, I wanted to lick it, to taste the saltiness that was she on my tongue.

“I’m truly sorry.” She apologized as if she knew what she was saying sorry for, as if her apology would make up for all those who had suffered. She knew nothing, and I wanted to wipe the floor with her pathetic apology.

“Then prove it….” I growled, unaware of why I said that. What could she prove to me? She had nothing I wanted.

“How—” she stuttered. “How do you want me to prove it to you?” Her chin was held high and her eyes narrowed at me as if she knew what I was getting at.

“I can’t tell you how to prove it. All I can tell you is you have put me through the ringer in the last forty-eight hours. You caused my mind to go crazy… If you had died…” I leaned into her body, taking in her scent. It filled my nostrils causing something in my mind to snap. “If you had died, it wouldn’t have hurt me. It wouldn’t have caused me any pain. I would’ve looked at you like I did the man who I had killed the night before. When I told you to leave me alone…”

Something happened inside my head. Pain radiated through me as I gripped at my scalp. The memory came out of nowhere, forcing the air from my lungs.

“I tried to make them stop…” Her voice was so broken. Shock and horror were written all over her face. There was nothing she could do that would change their behavior. They didn’t understand why they hated her or me.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” I rubbed a hand through her hair and down her back. The things they had done to us both… I needed to learn to let go of my hate for them. I was close to meeting my maker, and I didn’t want to take that to my grave.

“It’s not okay. It’s not okay because we’re human, too. We have feelings…” Her tears seeped into my t-shirt as I took every fear she had away.

“I know, but we’re better than they are. We’re different.”

When I opened my eyes, Maggie was hovering over me, her small hand on my arm, concern etched into every contour of her face.

“Are you okay?” she asked her voice meek and laced with fear. She had no clue. I wanted to sneer at her, to smack her hand away. I wanted to blame her for the memories, but I knew it wasn’t her fault. Deep down under the blackness that was pumped into me laid a heart, a muscle I hadn’t used in forever. I could feel the blood rushing to it. Every memory was bringing me that much closer to humanity.

“I’m fine,” I muttered as I sat up. With every memory came a weakness. A weakness to give into what my body wanted.
To remember.
To me, it wasn’t that easy. With the memories would come the past, and though I would never admit it vocally, I had a fear far greater than the memories. I had a fear of finding out who the girl was and then realizing she was no longer here, and slipping back into the person I was made to be.

The memories didn’t haunt me. I wasn’t angry because of them. I was angry for what they represented.

My past—my future.