Programmed To Please (The Tau Cetus Chronicles) (20 page)

“Bad decision. One of the worst of my career, Turner. This is all my fault.” Rainey hung his head. “It’s my fault you were at Beautiful Dolls on Friday. You wouldn’t have taken a bullet if I’d shut down the operation on Thursday.”

How odd that Jai was the one injured, yet Rainey was the one in need of comfort.

“It’s
not
your fault, sir,” she rasped. “
I
was the one who jumped in front of that bullet. It hadn’t been meant for me. That was
my
choice,
my
decision. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Yes, I do,” he sighed. “Because, see…well…because of the heart thing, you can’t come back to the force. You’re being retired. Classified R.I.O.D.”

Retired, injured on duty.

Fuck. They already knew about the heart.

Of course they did
. Rainey and Wyatt would certainly have kept track of her condition.

So. No Marque, and now no job to go back to. What the hell was she going to do? Helping to keep peace on Tau Cetus as a police agent had been Jai’s sole purpose in life.

The ache in her chest was suddenly more pronounced.

“It’ll be all right, Jai,” Wyatt soothed, reaching out to brush an unnoticed tear from Jai’s cheek.

Christ, what is it with the tears today? This is all too much for me. I really am an emotional wreck.

It took all of Jai’s control to keep her voice steady. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you both to leave now.”

“Jai— ”

“Please,
Wyatt. No argument. Do this for me.”

“Aw, hell, Turner…”

Rainey’s sad, hangdog face was almost Jai’s undoing. Her lower lip quivered as Rainey stood, gave her an awkward pat on her shoulder, and turned to leave the room without another word. Wyatt lingered, but Jai wanted none of his sympathy. She needed time to think. Alone.

“Please, Wyatt. Just leave.”

He took a deep breath. “I want you to know that I feel just as guilty as Commander Rainey. If I had come right out to the Beautiful Dolls reception desk instead of taking time to break down the camera equipment, I might have prevented this whole thing.
I let down my partner.”

Jai sighed. “Wyatt, it’s not your fault either.”

“I’m just so damned sorry, Jai.” In a rush, Wyatt leaned down to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. “Here.” He dropped the duffel bag he was holding onto the chair Rainey had just vacated. “I brought you the clothes that were in your locker at work. For when you’re…released. Because that thing you were wearing when we brought you in here…”

Dear God
. She’d been brought to the hospital in her sexbot sarong. Would she ever be able to forget the scandalous assignment at Beautiful Dolls?

“I’ll always be around if you need anything, Jai. We’re
friends.
Call me when you get out of here.” Wyatt gave her a meaningful look, then turned and left the room.

Watching him go, Jai could feel the heaviness in her heart, and she absently wondered if it was just the weight of her emotions, or if the device in her chest really was heavy. How much did it weigh, anyway? God, what a strange thing to have to get used to!

But for the next two days, she tried valiantly to do just that. What other choice did she have? This was her life now. Morning and afternoon, she got out of bed and walked the hospital corridors to build up her strength. Morning and afternoon, a nurse would come to check her vital signs, more often than not removing yet another IV or monitoring device. The ache in her chest was always with her, but now it seemed more like background music or white noise – it was there, but easily ignored.

After five days without a shower, the best part of those two days was her sponge baths.

By the seventh day, Jai was feeling strong enough to start thinking about LAM, or ‘life after Marque.’ Maybe she could go into the private protection business. Helping people stay safe was ingrained into her system; it’s who she was. Would she need to disclose her disability if she applied for a job like that?

For one insane moment, she considered applying to replace Marque’s bodyguard Bursus. Marque was the one person who couldn’t possibly hold her injury against her, and this way, she could at least stay close to him physically, if not emotionally.

You are a first-class idiot, Jai. Or else a masochist.

Definitely the masochist. She shoved a hand through her hair.

A small knock drew her attention to the door. Dr. Jonat came in, a smile on his face. “Miss Turner! Good to see you awake and alert.”

Dr. Jonat came to check on Jai’s wound daily, always giving her a positive progress report, and today was no different. He pulled down the neck of her hospital gown and raised her bandage in order to examine the incision. “Excellent.” He picked up the chart attached to the foot of her hospital bed and scanned it briefly. “All your vitals look good.” He glanced up at her and smiled. “I promised if you continued to make progress that you’d only be here for seven days, so if you feel ready, we can discharge you this afternoon, as soon as all your paperwork has been filled out, signed and filed.”

“Really? I can go home today?”

“Yes.”

Jai swallowed. This
was
good news. Although… the thought of beginning her new life was a little, well, daunting. And going back to her empty apartment was not exactly appealing.

Relax, Jai, no one says you have to do anything right away. Take the time you need to get used to your new reality.

Right.

“Doc? What do I have to do about the heart? Maintenance-wise, I mean.” 

Jonat pulled a prescription pad out of his lab coat pocket and scribbled down some information. “This is the name of our best cardiologist. If you have any trouble with the heart, call him. Otherwise, just come in for a check-up every six months or so. Really. It’s as easy as that. Any cardiologist would do, but Dr. Zaria is the best.”

Jai took the piece of paper from Jonat’s outstretched hand. “The incision?”

“Your stitches are subcutaneous, and self-dissolving. Don’t even worry about them.”

Jai nodded uncertainly.

“You’ll be fine, Miss Turner. In fact, better than fine. In my twelve years of heart surgery, you’ve had one of the better outcomes. You may feel physically weak for a few days, but that’s only because you’ve been in bed for a week. It has nothing to do with your heart. You’re technically well enough to jump on a plane tomorrow if you wanted to. And by now, I’m sure you’ve noticed that the heart works just like a real one would. It races when you’re agitated, and it slows when you’re relaxed. If you don’t tell anyone you have an artificial heart, no one will even know. You’re in perfect health.” He nodded, and then frowned. “So there’s no need to bite your lip like that.”

Jai sighed, released her lip from between her teeth, and gave the doctor a small smile.

“That’s better,” he said brightly. “A nurse will stop by in a while with some forms for you to sign. I’ll see you again briefly right before you leave.” With that, the doctor breezed out the door, and on to his next patient.

Christ, how could Dr. Jonat be so… upbeat? Hell, maybe Jai
was
lucky. She was still alive, she had a working heart, and she was going home.

Be grateful for small mercies.

With that mental resolution, she decided to get dressed. Digging into the duffel bag Wyatt had brought a couple of days ago, she was grateful to discover her purse, plus her most comfortable pair of jeans and a loose peach-colored sweater. Who would have thought arriving for work last Friday that she’d be wearing these clothes next in a hospital? With a sigh, she laid them on her bed and rooted deeper into the duffel. Wyatt had literally packed everything that had been in her locker at work, including a hairbrush along with a hand mirror that Jai kept taped to the inside of her locker door. In trepidation, Jai held up the mirror.

Oh, dear. She looked like she’d been through the Great War. Her skin was sallow, her eyes were haunted, and she could see the beginnings of her own brown roots growing out from her chic blonde Beautiful Dolls bob.

She was a mess.

With a sigh, she took her clothes into the small bathroom attached to her room, and put them on. There had been no bra or underwear in the duffel, but that’s because she’d been wearing them along with her Tau Cetus police uniform when she’d arrived at Beautiful Dolls last week, and had changed into the silk sarong there.

Actually, it didn’t matter about the underwear. She probably wouldn’t be able to wear a bra until her stitches healed anyway. And going commando was fine – at least for a few hours until she got home.

Where the first thing on her to-do list would be to dye her hair back to its natural light brown color. She wanted to wash out all physical reminders of Beautiful Dolls.

As long as she was in the bathroom, she quickly rinsed her face and brushed her hair. There, that was a little better. Amazing what being clean and in street clothes could do for a person’s psyche. She felt better, somehow. Stronger. Certainly less vulnerable than being in that flimsy hospital gown!

Returning to her room, Jai sat down on the edge of her bed. Odd. She’d only put on her clothes, but she felt exhausted. Dr. Jonat had said she might feel weak for a few days, and he was right. Being in bed for so long had thrown her for a loop. She needed to get her strength back. She might start with a yoga class tomorrow.

A knock on her doorframe made Jai look up, expecting the nurse Dr. Jonat had promised with the discharge forms to fill out. Instead, she could have sworn that her new heart momentarily stopped beating at the sight that met her eyes.

Marque Callex stood in her hospital room doorway.

And there was a woman with him.

Time froze as Jai stared at him, her brain alternating between hope and despair.
He was here!
Had he come because he truly did love her? But then –
who was that woman?
Had Jai been replaced in Marque’s affections already?

Fuck…shit… Did he never really care about me at all? God, this heart hurts!

Jai’s heart was beating wildly, but luckily, she was no longer hooked up to a monitor that would give her reaction away.

Marque’s face was guarded, cautious. “May we come in?”

With those words, nascent Jai’s hopes sank. Marque wasn’t exactly rushing over to her with open arms, which meant that this visit was not likely to have the happy ending she desperately wanted. So. This might be the last time she’d ever see him. She blinked back the tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes.

Forget about Carron’s bullet, this visit might just be the thing that kills me…

She took a deep breath for courage. “Yes. Of course. Come in.”

Marque and the woman took two steps into the room. Clearing his throat, Marque gently took the woman’s hand in his, obviously preparing to speak. Unfortunately, that simple gesture of affection was more than Jai could take. A shooting pain pierced her chest.

He does care for this woman! He’s replaced me already!

Idiot. You never were a couple. He told you he never wanted to see you again.

Jai hung her head, not wanting Marque to witness her distress. 

“Jai… I’d like to introduce you to my sister, Leora.”

Jai’s head snapped up. She could hardly see through the film of her tears, but her ears were working perfectly. “Leora? You’re…
Leora?”

The thin, black-haired woman stared hard at Jai. Not unkindly, but definitely intensely. Then she turned to her brother. “She still loves you.”

Jai’s gaze swung to Marque. “
Of course
I love you!”

Marque’s face was still dark, guarded. “I don’t know how you can, after what I did to you. And after what…Anson Carron… did to you.”

A kernel of hope blossomed in Jai’s new heart. “I explained this to Commander Rainey and to my partner, Wyatt. It was
my
choice to jump in front of that bullet.” She paused, looking at Marque. “And I’d do it again. I love you.”

The mask of Marque’s face broke at her heartfelt words. He crossed the room and scooped Jai off her bed and into his arms so quickly she couldn’t have stopped him if she’d tried. Not that she wanted to stop him. The pleasure of his hard embrace far outweighed the pain he was causing her wound. Damn, it felt so good to be in his arms again! She closed her eyes and inhaled his familiar scent, reveling in the miracle that he could love her despite what
she
had done to
him
by betraying his trust.

When Marque finally released her, she was gasping. Hopefully, he would think it was because of his enthusiastic display of affection, and not because of the pain in her chest.

Marque’s face still showed a touch of caution.

“I love you too, Jai. It was idiotic of me to storm out of Beautiful Dolls, but I felt hurt, betrayed. I didn’t stop to look at the big picture; I reacted like an animal who’d been wounded. And I
was
wounded. You’d broken my heart.”

Jai was painfully aware of what she’d done. “I’m so sorry for that, Marque.”

He sighed. “When I had a moment to think clearly –
objectively
– I realized that you are just as dedicated to your job as I am to mine, even to the point of sleeping with someone you thought was the enemy. You were doing your job, as repulsive as playing a sexbot must have been for you. I respect your dedication.”

She appreciated his admission. “Thank you. But it turns out my assignment wasn’t repulsive in the least.” She gave him a meaningful smile, and took a deep breath. She was scared to ask the next question, but based on his vow of love and her equal feelings for him, she needed to know the answer. “So what happens now?”

Marque took a step back, and shoved a hand through his hair. “I’ve been…
compromised
. Theus believes I’m no longer effective in the job. So Marque Callex disappears. Callex Industries disbands. The High Council finds someone else to be its front man.”