Private Emotions – Appointments (The Private Emotions Trilogy) (9 page)

“You’re a very sexual woman and I can’t wait very much longer to feel your hot pussy wrapped around me. Before I do, I have something that I want to do first.” His face slowly fell towards where his finger was now digging into my folds and then his tongue stretched my opening and joined the finger that was already there.

Oh god, this just can’t be happening. My body was acting of its own accord and I was literally floating in the pleasure zone. His ravenous devouring was sending me over the top, over and over again, until I was so exhausted and out of breath that I had to push his head away. He was licking his lips as his dark hair fell toward his face and slightly covered his eyes. This sexual awakening had come upon me and I had just had my first real orgasm with a man. Well, at least that was what it felt like to me.

“Please take me now, oh my god, I so want you now.” His face was above mine and I could feel a strong force willing itself to find my hole as he opened me up with a thrust from his legs. His pants weren’t even all the way down and were just over his ass enough to expose the best part of him. “Oh god, yes, please yes.”

This magnificent man was now slowly fucking me into the sand and all I could do was hold onto his neck for support. His smile was one of pure bliss and he used his feet to push in and out of me a little faster with each stroke. Our bodies were acting as one and I actually felt that our souls were melding together in this one special moment.

My insides grabbed onto him and tried valiantly to milk him as my senses overtook me but he didn’t follow suit. With the stamina that had to be felt to be believed, he kept going, grinding his pelvis over my clit, making stars appear before me. Then he was starting to puff like a steam engine, which made him pop his own valve and fill me with his explosion of lust. If it was not for the condom that he wore I would have been concerned because I was not on the pill at the time.

“Emily, that was the best sex of my life and I envy any man that you actually end up with.” It was probably just a line that he told all his clients but at that moment I really thought that Peter could probably be the one. I could have easily fallen for him but knowing that he was an escort gave me food for thought for what he actually thought about me. He took me home and walked me to my door where he lightly kissed me without pushing too hard.

I watched him go down the hall and when he was gone I went back to my apartment and jumped around with the knowledge that the climax I had experience earlier was stronger than any of the pleasures I felt in my previous relationships.

At my next therapist session, I told Susan what had happened and I could tell that she thought that I was making a real effort to change. “Tell me what it was that made it possible for you to have a climax.”

“He was just so different from other men and he had this trusting nature that was making me feel at ease for the first time. Dating was never quite like this as most men just had one thing on their mind and thought that everything else was just a prelude to getting into the bedroom. I know that we did end up having sex but I did not feel the usual pressure of the man’s expectation that it was a given.”

“You do know that the escort was only doing what he was paid to do and you’re going to have to separate real-life from one of fantasy. That being said, it would probably be a good idea that you pursue one more evening with a man of the night. I want you to see the difference in each man and then come back and we can decide what will be the next course of action.”

This time, I wasn’t as nervous to make the appointment as I was before and I used their website to pick a man just for me. The one that caught my eye wasn’t a man that I normally would’ve picked for myself. He was completely bald but there was just something about him that I had to see for myself. I filled in the necessary spaces to reserve his services for the night and got back a receipt to say that he would be at my apartment for 7 PM.

Using my limited amount of time before the date was to begin, I called Ronnie and revealed to her just what I was doing.

“Emily, that is the best news that I’ve heard in a long time but I just hope that you don’t get too wrapped up in the fantasy. To not realize that there is a smorgasbord of men out there waiting for you will be a big mistake on your part. Enjoy yourself tonight but remember that this is all make-believe and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. I can already imagine what the therapist is going to tell you next and it’s not going to be easy for you to hear. Enough of that, have you decided what you’re going to wear for this big date? If I could make a suggestion, maybe a casual approach would be the best way to go this time around.”

“That’s not actually a bad idea and might give me the feeling of a real date. Thanks Ronnie for all your help so far and you can tell Mark that I really love you guys.” I hung up, then contacted the agency and told them that I would like my date to be a bit more casual than the first. They were more than willing to comply with my wishes and all I had to do now was to wait for him to arrive.

There was this tight pair of jeans that looked like they were painted on me and even though men and women alike have said that it made me look very sexy, I just didn’t see it myself. I was still going to play up that part of myself that everybody saw, everybody but me. My breasts were one of my best features and I put on a tight sweater to give the illusion that they were bigger than what they were.

I almost called my new friend, Barry, and asked him for some advice as a man but my date William had just arrived and was waiting at my door. I opened it to find this bald hunk of a man wearing a form fitting pair of jeans, a buttoned up shirt and a leather jacket that went past his waist. A football player couldn’t have had a better build than this guy.

“If you are ready, I have something very special for us to do this evening.” He drove his own car, which happened to be a sports car with only enough room for two people. It was like we were packed in there so tightly that we just couldn’t help but to touch each other. He drove us to a field where a hot air balloon was waiting to take us for a journey skyward.

The whole thing was such a whirlwind that I almost couldn’t contain my breath with the excitement that I was feeling. I could see everything for miles around. The city lights were a perfect complement to having his arms wrapped around me and his face right near mine. His hot breath was warm on my neck and then he was licking it, using his tongue to make little swirls at the base of my neck. It made my body tingle with pleasure and I swooned in his arms. My eyes were closed as I felt him behind me. The cool air brushed past my face like a painter would do to his beloved canvas.

He whispered, “Emily, I want you so much that I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t have you. Would you do me the great honor of spending the evening with me?” This man had a gift with words and all I could do was nod my assent to his proposal. “Oh god, you have made me the happiest man in the world.”

We got back to my apartment and right there in the hall we just couldn’t keep our hands-off one another. Mauling each other right there in front of my door, I struggled to get the key out while he was feeling my ass from behind. We barely made it inside before we were tearing each other’s clothing off. He pulled my sweater over my head and then dropped onto his knees to my jeans where he pulled them down and buried his face in my core. My hands held him down while I stood there and felt his tongue flutter inside me, opening me up like a butterfly.

His tongue on my skin was making me want something even more intimate to happen. It was as if he was reading my mind because he lifted me up into his arms as I wrapped my legs around him. He penetrated my fortress of love and his rock hard penis moved in and out of me while we both moaned and held onto each other.

He was very strong but I could see the strain in his legs making it hard for him to continue the way that we were going. He didn’t give up though and I felt that same intense feeling from the other night crashing over me.

“Oh god, yes, you are amazing.” William exploded inside of me and like Peter, he had no problem in filling the condom with the evidence of his release. It was such a spontaneous moment that I barely had time to think. That was an unusual thing for me because in spite of any situation that I was in, I was always aware of the thoughts in my head.

After we composed ourselves he said, “Emily, you know that this isn’t how a real date is and now you have to get your feet back into the dating pool. It’s time to find that one true love who will be your best friend and lover. Just think about it.”

He got dressed as I slipped into my robe and we said our goodbyes at the door. I flung myself on the bed with a smile burned onto my face the whole time because I felt more liberated with each experience. I had to wonder though, just what would the therapist expect me to do next? Something told me that it would be the same as what William had just suggested, but I was not sure.

I was not going to think about that now. I was still in a state of bliss from what William had just done to me and I was even happier about one thing...I had no reason to stare at the ceiling in despair tonight!

Chapter Five
An Unexpected Encounter

“What are you trying to say, doctor?”

“I think you’ve known from the beginning that an escort wasn’t the end-all and be-all. We both know that they are professionals and have a job to do for money that you provide. In saying that, they do serve a purpose but now it’s time for you to put yourself back out there in the dating world. There is a speed dating seminar in two days and I want you to go to it with an open mind.”

“I’ve dated real men before and I don’t see how that is going to help me now.”

“Ah, but you forget that now you have the tools to get your perfect guy. You’ll know who’s right for you because you’re more aware of what makes a real relationship work. It’s definitely not just about pleasing the man but also has everything to do with how you’re feeling about yourself at this point in your life. You have every right to express yourself the way you see fit and you don’t have to settle for just any man. There is a person out there for everyone and that includes you as well.”

“I’m not sure about this, but since you have gone to all the trouble to set this up for me, it would seem rude not to at least give it a go.”

“If you find someone that you like, I would encourage you to test them out in the bedroom as soon as you can. That way you can find out if you’re sexually compatible and then go from there. This may take a couple of different guys to determine what exactly you’re looking for but you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.”

“Interesting analogy, doc, but we are using my body as a guinea pig to find out what works for me and that has never really been my style. However if the opportunity does arise, I’ll be sure to use what you’ve taught me to get to the heart of the matter. I just don’t want to end up with some kind of loser that sits on the sofa, watches TV and eats potato chips all night. I know now that I deserve better than that and I won’t just sit back and let things happen anymore.”

“That is a very healthy attitude and it will serve you well in this next page of your life. That doesn’t mean that you’re through with therapy, only that now you’re beginning to see that you don’t have to be a wallflower anymore. I can tell that you are unaware of your own beauty and I think over time that would become obvious to you, as it is to others.”

What my doctor was telling me was something that I needed to hear and I wasn’t going to take her advice lightly. The idea of actually sitting down and talking to several men over the course of a few minutes was making me feel a little unsure of myself but that wasn’t going to stop me from pushing through my fears. I certainly wasn’t going to go in there just to impress them with how I was dressed. I was determined to find out what each man was thinking. How I would do that in the few minutes that I would be given with each man? ...I didn’t know but I was going to try.