Prescription for Chaos (28 page)

Future rates will be only $10.25 a month.

Cordially,

Q. Snarden, Pres.

* * *

BLUE WHEEL

Dear Subscriber:

Blue Wheel's new rates will be $13.40 a month.

Cordially,

Q. Snarden, Pres.

* * *

BLUE WHEEL

Dear Subscriber:

Blue Wheel is going to $16.90 a month effective January 1st.

See our enclosed explanation.

Cordially,

Q. Snarden, Pres.

* * *

BLUE WHEEL

Dear Subscriber:

$22.42 a month is a small price to pay to be free of car-care expense worries nowadays.

This rate becomes effective next month.

Cordially,

Q. Snarden, Pres.

* * *

SCHRAMM'S SERVICATORIUM

To: Jack W. Bailey

413 Crescent Drive

City

Parts: 1 set 22-638 brushes$2.36

Labor: Super diagnostic$85.00

Giant Lift$65.00

Manipulatorium$55.00

Extraculator$28.00

Gen. transport$1.25

Treatment$12.50

Checkulator$4.50

Gen. transport$1.25

Ultramatatoni$5.00

Installator$15.00

Ch. transport$3.75

Checkulator final$6.50

Ch. transport$3.75

Car transport$5.25

Total parts and labor$291.75

Blue Wheel $291.75 PAID

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: P. J. Devereaux, Pres.

Dear Mr. Devereaux:

The other day, the turn-signals on my car quit working, and before I got out of the garage, the bill ran up to $417.12.

In today's mail I got a notice that Blue Wheel, with Snarden at the helm, is going to raise its rates to $28.50 a month.

This notice, by the way, piously states that administrative costs now only come to 2.4% of Blue Wheel's total revenues. Naturally, if they keep raising their revenues by upping the premium, administrative costs will get progressively smaller, in proportion to the total. The percentage looks modest, but that's 2.4% of
what
?

I was talking to a physicist friend of mine the other day, and he says the trouble is, the car-repair setup now has "positive feedback," instead of "negative feedback." When the individual owner used to pay his own bills, his anger at high bills, and his reluctance or even inability to pay them, acted as negative feedback, reacting more strongly against the garage the higher the bills got. But now, not only is there none of this, but the garages are used
more
the higher the Blue Wheel premiums—because people feel that they should get
something
out of the policy. This is positive feedback, and my physicist friend says that if it continues long enough, it invariably ends by destroying the system.

Already there is talk of government regulation, and of plans to spread the burden further by taxation. This is just more of the same thing, on a wider scale. It will only delay the day of reckoning, and the trouble when the day of reckoning comes.

I think we'd better pull the plug on this pretty soon.

R. Beggs

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: R. Beggs, Vice-Pres. Special Project

Dear Beggs:

Snarden goes before the congressional investigating committee next week.

When he is about halfway through his testimony, and has them tied in knots with his pious airs and specious arguments,
then
we want to hit him.

Have everything ready for about the third day of the hearing.

Devereaux

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: R. Beggs, Vice-Pres. Special Project

Dear Beggs:

Now's the time. Snarden has pumped the hearing so full of red herrings that it looks like a fish hatchery.

Pull the plug.

Devereaux

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: P.J. Devereaux, Pres.

Dear Mr. Devereaux:

The first ten million circulars are in the mail.

Beggs

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

"In Unity, Strength"

Since 1906

Dear Car Owner:

When car-care insurance cost two dollars a month, it was a bargain. Now it costs about fifteen times as much.

This present insurance plan is so badly set up that it
forces up car-care costs
. And when car-care cost go up,
that forces up insurance premiums
.

This is a vicious circle.

Before this bankrupts the whole country, Foresyte Insurance is determined to stop the endless climb of these premiums, by offering our
own
plan.

Possibly, after paying these present terrific bills, you will understand why we call our plan
Blue Driver
. But you won't feel blue when you learn that our monthly rates on this new insurance are as follows:

$90.00 deductible 90%$18.50

$90.00 deductible 75%$12.50

$90.00 deductible 50%$5.25

$180.00 deductible 90%$13.75

$180.00 deductible 75%$7.95

$180.00 deductible 50%$3.75

Compare this with what you are paying now.

We are convinced that the huge increase in car-care costs is due mainly to the fact that the system now used makes it
nobody's
business to keep costs down, and puts the ever-increasing burden just as heavily on the man who
doesn't
overuse the plan as on the man who does.

Our plan is different, and puts the burden where it belongs—
on the fellow who overuses the plan
. You don't have to pay for all
his
expenses. He can't get away
without
paying for them. This is how it should be. Moreover, this plan gives good protection, at a lower cost.

For instance, with our $90.00 deductible 90% plan, you pay the first $90.00 of the bill yourself. True, $90.00 is a lot of money,
but in less that a year's time, you save that much or more in premiums
.

The 90% of the plan means that
we pay 90% of the rest of the bill
. You only have to pay 10%. On an $825.00 bill, for instance, you pay $90.00, which you have probably already saved because our premiums are so much lower. This leaves $735.00. We pay $661.50 of this, right away.
You pay only what's left
.

This lets you pay the small bills you can afford, while we take most of the big bills that everyone is afraid of these days.

Meanwhile, the less you use the plan,
the more you save
.

The larger the share of the risk you are willing to take,
the more you save
. Our $180.00 deductible 50% plan
costs only $3.75 a month
.

Because we may be able to lower premiums still further, these rates are not final. But at these rates, you can see that this plan rewards the person who doesn't overuse it.

We are already using this plan ourselves, and saving $10.00 to $24.75 a month on it.

How about you?

Cordially,

R. Beggs

Vice-Pres.

413 Crescent Drive

Crescent City

Dear Mr. Beggs:

Here is my check for $7.95. I am signing up on your $180.00 deductible 75% plan, and saving $20.55 a month.

But you better not jack the rates way up, or I will go back to Blue Wheel. If we only burn one light in the house, heat one room, and eat cornmeal mush twice a day, we can still pay
their
premium.

Yours truly,

Jack Bailey

SCHRAMM'S SUPER SERVICATORIUM

To: Jack W. Bailey

413 Crescent Drive

City

Note: Time for oil change, new filter. Our Automatic File Checker also says it is time your car had a Complete Super Diagnostic and Renewvational Overhaul on our special new Renewvator Machine. Your Blue Wheel will cover it.

Joe Schramm

Dear Joe:

In a pig's eye my Blue Wheel will cover it. I'm a Blue Driver now, and I get socked 180 bucks plus 25% of the rest of your bill, and it sounds to me like I will get hit for enough on this one to buy a new car.

Keep the Renewvational Overhaul. As for the Complete Super Diagnostic, I found an old guy out on a back road, and he can figure out more with a screw driver, a wrench, and a couple of meters than those stuck-up imitation mechanics of yours can find out with the whole Super Diagnostic Machine.

Don't worry about the oil change. I can unscrew the filter all by myself. I will pay myself $4.50 for the labor, and save anyway a hundred bucks on the deal.

If the transmission falls out of this thing, or the rear axle climbs up into the back seat, I'll let you know about it. But don't bother me when it's time to oil the door handles and put grease on the trunk hinges.

Jack Bailey

* * *

SCHRAMM'S SUPER SERVICATORIUM

Dear Mr. Wrattan:

I just got your monthly booklet on "New Superdee Labor-Saving Giants."

Since the paper in this fancy booklet might clog up my new oil burner, I'm afraid I don't know what to do with it.

I am enclosing half-a-dozen letters from ex-customers, and maybe they will explain to you why business is off twenty per cent this month.

Yours truly,

J. Schramm

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: W. W. Sanson, Pres.

Dear Mr. Sanson:

I am sending up a big envelope containing letters from garagemen and their customers. These letters are representative of a flood that's coming in.

What do we do now?

G. Wrattan

* * *

SUPERDEE EQUIPMENT

Interoffice Memo

To: G. Wrattan, Sales Mgr.

Dear Wrattan:

I put this one to Schnitzer and his Supervac 666. It flattened them.

There's just one thing
to
do. We take a loss on this latest stuff, and get out while we're still ahead.

As for these questions as to how much we offer to repurchase Renewvators, Giant Lifts, et cetera, we don't want them at any price. Point out how well made they are and how much good metal is in them. That's just a hint to the customer, and if he deduces from that that the best thing to do with them is scrap them, that's
his
business.

Do you realize it cost me $214.72 to get a windshield-wiper blade changed the other day? They ran the whole car through the Super Diagnostic first to be sure the wiper blade
needed
to be changed.

As far as I'm concerned, this whole bubble can burst anytime.

Sanson

* * *

SCHRAMM'S ECONOMY GARAGE

To: Jack W. Bailey

413 Crescent Drive

City

Parts: 1 set 22-638 brushes$1.48

Labor: overhaul generator,

set regulator$8.50

total$9.98

Note: Time for oil change, new filter. We will take care of this for you next time you're in—no charge for labor on this job. Al Putz says there was a funny rumble from the transmission when he drove the car out to the lot. We better check this as soon as you can leave the car again. Once those gears in there start grinding up the oil slingers and melting down the bearings, it gets expensive fast.

Joe Schramm

Dear Joe:

Thanks for the offer, but I'll take care of the oil change myself. I want to keep in practice, just in case the country comes down with another epidemic of Super Giant Machinitis.

As for that rumble from the transmission, I jacked up a rear wheel, started the engine, and I heard it, too. It had me scared for a minute there, but I blocked the car up, crawled under, and it took about three minutes to track down the trouble. In this model, the emergency brake works off a drum back of the transmission. Since I brought the car down to your garage, one end of a spring had somehow come loose on the emergency brake, and this lets the brake chatter against the drum. It was easy to connect the spring up again. The transmission is now nice and quiet.

I am enclosing the check for $9.98.

Jack Bailey

* * *

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: P. J. Devereaux. Pres.

Dear Mr. Devereaux:

We were able to bring the rates on Blue Driver car-care down again last month. We are still making a mint from this plan, even with reduced premiums, and we are still getting enthusiastic letters.

I can see, in detail, how this works, by giving everyone involved an incentive to keep costs down. But I am still wondering about a comment you made earlier.

What is the "Master Science" you referred to, in first suggesting the idea of this plan?

R. Beggs

FORESYTE INSURANCE

Interoffice Memo

To: R. Beggs, Vice-Pres. Blue Driver

Dear Beggs:

I am delighted you were able to bring the premium down again. Maybe we will get this thing within reason yet.

What do you
suppose
the Master Science is? Isn't it true to say that Science first comes into existence when the mind intently studies actual physical phenomena? And the mind operates in this and other ways, doesn't it, when it is moved to do so by reasons arising out of
human nature
?

What is the result when the mind intently studies
human nature
?

Engineers, physical scientists, biological scientists, mathematicians, statisticians, and other highly-trained specialists do work that is useful and important. As a result, we have gradually built up what amounts to a tool kit, filled with a variety of skills and techniques.

They are all useful, but nearly every time we rely on them alone and ignore human nature, we pay for it.

All our tools are valuable.

But we can't forget the hand that holds them.

Devereaux

Cartwright, April 16. The Cartwright Corporation, manufacturer of electrical specialties, is reported on the brink of ruin today, after a disastrous plunge into the communications field. Word is that Cartwright research scientists had developed a new type of radio receiver, that the corporation backed it heavily, and that the equipment has now proved to have a fatal flaw. It is reported that Nelson Ravagger, the well-known corporation "raider," has now seized control of the company. Ravagger is expected to oust Cyrus Cartwright, II, grandson of the corporation's founder.