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Authors: Katie Fforde

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BOOK: Practically Perfect
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‘Yes, I’m the rehoming officer,’ he said, looking down at Anna, who ignored him. ‘For my sins,’ he added.

‘And obviously mine,’ muttered Anna, who was disconcerted to find she had lost too many of her inhibitions.

‘And have you lived here long?’ asked Dorothy who, fortunately for Anna, hadn’t heard. Dorothy took the garnish from Chloe and began sprinkling it over the plates.

‘A couple of years. I’ve only got involved in the Greyhound Trust quite recently.’

‘Why?’ asked Sue, and was nudged by her husband, who was sitting next to her.

‘So nosy!’ Ivan muttered.

‘Well, when I first came down here from London I was with someone. We were downshifting. She worked in London and did a weekly commute, and I had a new job here.’

‘So what happened to your partner?’ Sue persisted.

‘Sue!’ Ivan was mortified. ‘It’s all right, mate, you don’t have to answer.’

‘Yes he does,’ said Chloe and Dorothy in unison.

‘You women!’ complained Ivan. ‘Can’t let a man eat his dinner before he’s completed a questionnaire on his private life.’

Rob laughed. ‘It’s OK, I don’t mind the Spanish Inquisition.’ Ivan raised an eyebrow. ‘She stayed in London more and more,’ Rob went on. ‘She didn’t really like country life. And she didn’t like dogs at all.’

‘How did you get together with her, then?’ asked Sue.

‘Let’s change the subject,’ said Chloe who, having got all the information she needed, was willing to let Rob Hunter off the hook. ‘More wine, everyone?’

‘But we don’t know why he got involved with greyhounds yet,’ objected Sue.

‘Because I love dogs and wanted to do something in the community,’ said Rob quickly, as if he’d said it many times before.

‘Well, that’s all explained then. Now, more wine, everyone?’ Chloe repeated.

‘I really shouldn’t,’ said Anna, covering her glass.

‘Oh, go on,’ said Rob, taking her hand away and giving her more. ‘I’ve gone through my torture, you have to go through yours. It’s not as if you have to drive home.’ He whispered this last bit and, in spite of her resolution to hate him, Anna giggled.

‘I think I’ve already had too much,’ she said.

‘I’ll get a jug of water,’ said Chloe. ‘I meant to buy some but I forgot.’

‘Not top of your shopping list?’ asked Ivan.

‘No, I was thinking of you, Ivan, and that made me buy wine.’ Chloe dealt with this teasing easily.

‘So, Anna,’ said Sue, ‘we’ve heard how Rob got down here, what’s your story?’

‘Well, I bought the house next door. I’m doing it up. I hope to sell it,’ Anna replied; it was obviously her turn to be interrogated.

‘Oh, so what do you do?’ asked Ted.

‘I’m an interior designer.’

‘What, like Linda Barker?’ asked Sue.

‘I’m not sure what Linda Barker does, to be honest, but it doesn’t mean just choosing paint colours and fabrics, although that comes into it,’ she said. ‘It’s much more about soil pipes.’

She had hoped that this would end the conversation, but they were a robust lot, not to be put off by the mere mention of sewage arrangements.

There followed several minutes of questioning until Chloe called time. ‘Golly, I think even I’ve grasped that Anna is practically an architect,’ she said. ‘Can we gather the plates? I think the main course must be brown by now.’

‘Bet you’re glad that’s over,’ Rob whispered in her ear under the guise of taking her plate.

Anna chuckled. ‘Kind of.’

‘OK, everyone!’ announced Chloe, pulling a large dish out of the oven. ‘Here it is. Cannelloni stuffed with ricotta and spinach. Ted, can you reach into the fridge and get out some more white? Angel! Oh, and the parmesan. It’s got it on already, but in case you want some more. Mike! The salad.’

No party with Chloe as the hostess could be dull, and now the interrogation was over, Anna really began to enjoy herself. Rob made little asides to her from time to time that made her feel part of things, and as people were genuinely interested in her as a person, it wasn’t hard to tell them about what she did.

Pudding was rich and chocolatey, served with cream and raspberries, and after it Anna felt thoroughly stuffed. She had been doing hard physical work and not sleeping as well as she might, owing to the hardness of the floor and Caroline’s nocturnal attentions, and was getting sleepier and sleepier. She refused coffee or tea, feeling too tired to drink it.

‘I’m going to take Anna home,’ Rob announced. ‘She’s turning into a dormouse before our very eyes.’

‘Well, you haven’t got far to take her,’ said Mike. ‘And you can come back and have a brandy.’

‘I won’t have brandy, but a cup of coffee would be nice.’

‘You don’t need to take me home,’ said Anna, indignation waking her up somewhat. What did he want from her now?

‘Yes I do. Trust me.’ He looked a little anxiously at her.

When all the goodbyes had been said, and anyone who could reach had kissed Anna, she and Rob fought their way into the path. It was a clear night and the stars shone brightly.

‘I love the stars,’ said Anna, suddenly overcome with red wine and a balmy evening. ‘They’re so much brighter down here than they ever were in London.’

‘Less light pollution,’ said Rob. ‘I love them, too. Now,’ he went on briskly, rather to Anna’s relief, ‘the reason I wanted to walk you home was that there’s something I’ve got to tell you.’

‘Oh, what?’ Anna shivered; all her fuzzy romantic feelings about stars dissipated.

‘You’re going to get a letter tomorrow.’

‘How do you know? Have you been reading teacups or something?’

‘No. It’s from my office.’

‘Why?’ She fought to remember if she knew what he did, but it seemed most of their conversation had been about his interest in dogs.

‘I work for the listed buildings department.’

‘So?’

‘Yours is a listed building.’

‘I know, but how …’ Her mouth grew dry. He had been all over her house when he was checking it for Caroline. He must have seen something terrible. She suddenly felt wide awake.

He watched the pennies that were dropping like hailstones. ‘And none of the work that was done on it before you bought it had permission,’ he went on softly. ‘You’ll have to come in so we can look at your plans.’

All the goodwill towards him that she’d built up during the evening vanished. Not only had this man bullied her
about
how she should look after her dog, now he was bullying her about her house. He was Bastard House Man as well as Bastard Dog Man.

‘Well, that’s … terrible.’

‘Try not to worry too much. But I felt I had to tell you. It would have been a bit of a shock if you’d come into the office and saw me when you weren’t expecting to.’

‘This is just an outrage. I don’t know what to say.’ Rationally she knew he was trying to break it to her gently, but why on earth hadn’t he mentioned it earlier? Did he take pleasure in the art of surprise?

‘Don’t say anything. Just go to bed and put it out of your mind until you get the letter. You can’t do anything until we’ve seen the plans. Have you got your key?’ he added.

Anna despised the sort of woman who allowed men to unlock their front doors for them but as in this case it meant she didn’t have to speak to the man involved, she handed it over.

‘Goodnight, Anna.’ He kissed both her cheeks while she held open the door and couldn’t duck. ‘I had a lovely evening. And I’m really sorry I’m the listed buildings officer as well as the rehoming officer.’

She went into the house without saying anything, too angry and confused to speak. She felt so betrayed.

Chapter Six

CAROLINE’S COLD NOSE
nudged Anna’s cheek and she woke up. She felt thirsty, a little muzzy but happy.

‘Hello, darling,’ she said, rubbing her eyes and yawning. ‘Sorry I overslept.’ She hauled herself out of her sleeping bag and padded to the back door to let Caroline out, admiring the beauty of the floor as she went.

‘It’ll look fab when it’s treated,’ she told Caroline through the open door. She poured herself a glass of water and stared out at the little overgrown patch. ‘I had a lovely evening. Rob wasn’t too bad as I got to know him a bit so your taste wasn’t completely off when you liked him so much.’ She put the kettle on and then remembered. ‘Oh my God! The letter! He wasn’t nice at all – he’s the listed buildings inspector! Ergh!’

She ran to the front door to see if the post had come. It had, and in amongst a lot of junk mail for the previous owners was a long white envelope. It looked very official and she didn’t want to open it. She had always been a bit of a coward about opening her post.

She made herself a cup of tea first. After all, a few minutes’ delay wouldn’t matter.

The letter, when she did get to it, having read through the junk mail first (just in case there really was a massive cheque in any of it), didn’t say much. It just requested her to ring the office to make an appointment to visit them at her earliest opportunity. But it still made her feel slightly
sick
. She made and drank another cup of tea and then telephoned her sister.

Anna didn’t like asking for help – she had struggled so hard to get out from under her sister’s blanket of advice – but this time, she felt she had to confer with someone, and Laura was the obvious choice. For once, Laura didn’t inundate Anna with ‘I told you so’s’.

‘You can definitely get retrospective planning permission,’ Laura said, ‘and I expect it’s the same for listed buildings. I didn’t know your house was listed.’ She sounded impressed.

‘Actually, life would be much easier if it weren’t, then I could just do what I liked.’ Anna paused. ‘If only I hadn’t got Caroline I would never have met that horrible man and he would never have come into my house.’

‘You might have met him through Chloe,’ said Laura reasonably.

‘But I wouldn’t have had him in my house!’

‘You might have done! You might have liked him and had him over for coffee!’

Anna was just about to deny this but realised it might involve her explaining about Max. Anna had never told Laura, and now was not the time to enlighten her. ‘Well, anyway, I have got Caroline, and wouldn’t be without her.’ She sighed.

‘Don’t worry too much, love,’ her sister reassured her. ‘Take along your plans to show them what you intend to do, and I’m sure they’ll be fine.’

‘You think so? I have got some quite detailed drawings.’

‘And your drawing was always lovely. Oh!’ said Laura suddenly. ‘I was going to ring you only you rang me first. There was an email for you!’

‘What? How could there be?’

‘It’s from your old college. They’re organising a reunion
and
they managed to track you down through me. It’s because I kept my own name for my business, I suppose. Anyway, you must get in touch if you want to go. They’re organising something in London. Quite soon, I think. When are you going to get a computer, by the way? They’re not that expensive.’

‘London,’ said Anna, ignoring this oft-repeated question, her heart beating faster with hope. ‘I’m not sure I could leave Caroline and go to London.’

‘Shall I read you the email?’ Laura read it out, ending: ‘“We’ve managed to get in touch with lots of our tutors including some of the guest lecturers – Max Gordon, Eric State and others.”’

The moisture fled from Anna’s mouth. Just hearing his name was enough to send her into a flutter. ‘Um, it would be nice to see everyone again.’ She tried to sound casual.

‘Perhaps Chloe could look after the dog? Or if not, perhaps I could come down and stay the night. You’ll want to stay over in London, won’t you?’

‘I suppose so. I haven’t had time to think about it, really.’

‘I could come down and stay the weekend with you, and look after the dog on the Saturday night,’ Laura offered.

‘Is it on a Saturday night?’

‘Bound to be.’

Anna hesitated. ‘I couldn’t put you to all that trouble, Laura, and this house isn’t fit for guests yet.’

‘I’m not a guest, I’m your sister! And I’m used to building sites.’

‘It’s a very kind offer,’ said Anna. ‘I’ll find out more about it, and what Chloe says and everything.’

‘I’d really love a weekend away from the boys.’

Anna heard the wistfulness in her sister’s voice. ‘You could come down anyway.’

‘No, I couldn’t justify abandoning everyone up here unless I was on a mission of mercy.’

They continued to argue gently about this until one of Anna’s nephews ended the call for them by pulling the phone out of its socket. Then Anna cleared the floor so she could seal it.

Anna managed to get an appointment with Rob Hunter the day after she rang the office, so on Tuesday, she put on the same jeans she had worn for the dinner party and her most entire jumper – one without huge holes under the arms, or with the welt hanging off the end of her sleeve. She put her plans in her drawings tube, and, having left Caroline in Chloe’s house watching the morning chat shows, set off to town on her bicycle. As she cycled, she thought about her beautiful floor, protected by three coats of wax and looking like an ice-rink.

The building was imposing and, having found a place to park and lock her bike, Anna went nervously up the steps, her plans under her arm. She was sweating slightly, from nerves and from the bike ride, but she was determined not to be bullied by officialdom, particularly in the form of Bastard Dog Man.

BOOK: Practically Perfect
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