Point of No Return (27 page)

With revulsion, I remembered we’d not used
any protection. “Are you saying I need to worry about—?”

“He’s probably fine,” Devlin said
reassuringly. “Lash is sterile, as a side effect of the potion he
takes. But Cin does have a bit of a reputation. Lash is not the
only one who goes to her, and lets her act out her fantasies. It’s
better to be safe.”

This was nauseating, not to mention
terrifying. “I should call Dr. Camlyn. I need to know now—”

“Lash will tell us tonight,” Devlin said.
“He’ll bring you some meds if you need them. Don’t worry, really.
He can’t catch most human diseases, and you can’t catch weresnake
ones. We are just being cautious.”

“I’m afraid,” I said softly.

“So am I,” Devlin whispered. “But not for you
and I, Love. We can conquer this together.” He squeezed me gently.
“Would you like me to sing to you?”

“Yes,” I said, relaxing back into him. “It
will help me relax.”

Minutes later, lulled by his sweet voice, I
fell asleep.

* * * *

When I woke a few hours later, I was
ravenous. In my despondency, I accepted Devlin’s offer of letting
Serena make me a sandwich.

The first bite of melted cheese and ham was
Heaven. “This is good!” I told her.

“Thank you,” she replied quietly.

I’d just popped the last bite into my mouth
when Lash came into the kitchen. I averted my eyes, swallowing
quickly.

Devlin looked at him, then to Serena. “Leave
us.”

She quietly dried her hands on the towel, and
left the room. Though she could most likely hear us from the other
room, I appreciated the gesture of privacy, anyway.

“What did he say?” Devlin said, pouring us
all a glass of red wine.

Wine sounded great right about now. It didn’t
go with grilled cheese, but screw it. I drank some immediately,
trying to settle my quaking nerves.

Lash came over to the table. “I’m sorry,” he
hissed at Devlin. He put a plastic bottle with single pill in it in
front of me with a sharp click.

I couldn’t do anything but look at that one
pink pill, all by itself in the bottle. It was huge. Worst of all,
my name was on the bottle with Camlyn’s. Bile rose in my
throat.

No one said anything. The silence
stretched.

“Sar, go to the bathroom and take it,” Devlin
said gently. “It should start to take effect in a few hours. What
you have is not bad, and the pill will cure it. It won’t hurt our
baby. But you’ll have to restrict Theo for about a week—”

Tears flooded my eyes, as guilt did the same
in my heart. I’d opened myself for this. I hadn’t insisted on
protection, even though I knew he’d just been with Cin, and I’d
suspected she was none too discriminating. Sure, I’d been under the
control of The Lust, but I should have been able to do
something...

“Sar, go take it, please,” Devlin said
again.

I got up as calmly as I could, and went to
the bathroom, shutting it behind me without a sound. Reading the
label, I was glad to see alcohol was not forbidden, though it
agreed with Devlin: no unprotected sex for at least a week
afterward. There was no pamphlet with it to tell me what disease
the drug treated.
Screw it, I was happy never to know.

I swallowed the pill, then tucked the bottle
in my pocket, knowing I’d have to mark the days on my calendar, so
I didn’t forget. I’d be damned if Theo had to pay for my mistake.
But there was going to be Hell to pay, anyway. I had to tell him
what I had done and who I’d done it with. Knowing he’d be furious
just made me feel that much worse.

I washed my face and fixed my hair, hoping
that Lash would leave before I went back. When I left the bathroom,
he and Devlin were still in the kitchen talking. I paused, just out
of sight. From what I was hearing, I didn’t want to be in the
room.

“—
it’s over?” Devlin finished,
amazement and empathy in his tone.

“She said she didn’t give it to me, and I
told her that she was the only one!” Lash hissed loudly, furious.
“I gave her the meds, and she said she didn’t have anything. I told
her that we were done unless she agreed to take them, and that I
was protecting myself from now on, because I couldn’t trust her.
She said we were done. Fucking bitch.”

I looked through the door crack, next to the
hinges. Lash drank his wine in one swallow, then hurled his empty
glass across the room to shatter against the wall.

I cringed. This was the man I’d just been
intimate with today; the man who’d given me the first STD of my
life.

“I’m sorry,” Devlin said softly. “I know you
liked her a lot.”

“She was my favorite,” Lash said mournfully.
“And she was close by. Shit!”

“There are other female weresnakes around,”
Devlin said gently. “What about that girl from Harrisburg?”

“I can call Lyssa, maybe see if she’d come up
from PA on a weekday.”

“I’ll ask Titus to teleport her for you,”
Devlin said gently. “It should only be for another two months or
so. You may not need to help us out again. I’m grateful you’re
helping me and Sar, but I don’t want to screw up your love
life.”

“It’s okay, Dev,” Lash said with a drawn out
hiss. “If I hadn’t been with Sar, I wouldn’t have checked, and then
I still wouldn’t know. You know what happens if you don’t
treat—”

“Yes, I know,” Devlin said grimly. “That’s
why I wanted you to go today. Still, I’m surprised your immune
system didn’t just repel this—”

“I’m still fighting the poison,” Lash said in
an empty voice. “Between that and my age, I’m not surprised.”

Poison? What poison?

Devlin didn’t reply. Worried his silence
meant he knew I’d been listening, I walked in, sitting back down in
my chair.

Lash looked up at me, then held my eyes. “I’m
sorry, Sar,” he hissed.

I took a few seconds to call myself a coward,
then said, “It was my fault. You said no, and I—”

“Just accept my apology,” Lash said
coldly.

“I accept your apology,” I whispered.

He made a fist, and brought it down on the
table hard, making the remaining glasses clatter. “I’ll be in my
room,” he hissed. “Don’t need me for a while, Dev.”

“That’s fine,” Dev said, nodding.

Lash got to his feet in a graceful motion,
sliding his chair back, then strode off, disappearing through the
door.

Tears flooded my eyes. Devlin grabbed a paper
towel and wiped them away. “I’ll call Danial,” he said quickly.
“You need some time away from all this. I’ll see if he can’t move
up your plans. He can’t catch what you have, just as I can’t.”

“He won’t be able to go tomorrow, not with
his business—”

“Money talks, Sar. Besides, he alone knows
best how The Lust affects you. He’ll make it happen.”

Maybe that was for the best
.
“Okay.”

“Do you want something else to eat?” Devlin
said gently.

“No. But please tell Serena I’ll try to get
back here on Wednesday somehow so we can bake.” I got to my feet.
“I should just go ask Danial now myself.”

Devlin nodded, surprised. “I will. Please
watch yourself, Sar. You shouldn’t be with Theo alone, not until
you have told him about your condition.” He kissed my forehead.
“Don’t worry. He loves you. He’ll understand.”

I sighed.
If only it were so easy.

* * * *

“You what?” Theo roared. “How could you be
with him like that? He’s tried to kill me twice—!”

“Shut up, Theo,” Danial said angrily. “This
is not about you; it’s about Sar. She had no control, so don’t
judge her. You weren’t here when Sar was pregnant before. The
problem could easily have been much worse if she’d been at Hayden
with a group of Dev’s bears.”

Theo went white.

Thanks for that comparison, Danial
.
“The problem is worse,” I said awkwardly, flushing. “I caught
something from him.” I started babbling, my words coming out as
fast as I could get them out. “I can’t be with you for a week,
Theo. But maybe I can spend next week with Danial and we can go
away like he wanted us to. He can’t catch this—”

“I never wanted to go away with you just for
a tryst anyway,” Danial said quickly. “We don’t have to have
sex—”

Theo rolled his eyes. “Like that would
happen.”

Danial looked affronted, but said
nothing.

“Are you...um, did you see Camlyn?” Theo
asked.

“I’ve already taken the cure. I’ll be
fine—”

“Not if Lash does you again,” Theo spat,
jealously heavy in his words. “He’ll re-infect you—”

“He’s taken the cure as well,” I said
hesitantly. “But I’m hoping it never comes to that again—”

“Fuck that!” Theo shouted. “I’m supposed to
trust him? I can’t believe—”

“Theo, shut up!” Danial shouted at him. “This
isn’t about you and Lash! If you can’t handle this, then get out of
her life! I am sick and tired of your pissing and moaning!”

Theo glowered at Danial, who ignored him,
instead turning to face me. “Come here.”

I went into his arms.

“I agree with Theo,” he said softly. “I don’t
trust Lash. But Devlin does, and I know how he feels about you,
Sar. He wouldn’t put you in danger, especially now.” He kissed me
gently on the forehead. “If you need to be with Lash again, do so.
Devlin said when he called me that he has told Lash that he needs
to be with you at all times, unless he himself was with you. Though
after this, I doubt Devlin will be leaving you alone for more than
a few minutes at a time at Hayden.”

“Sounds like you already talked to Devlin
while I was walking over here to meet with you and Sar,” Theo said
sharply. “So once again you know before I do. Are you going to go
away with her?”

Danial looked at him with all of his old
arrogance and possessiveness. “Devlin told me about it earlier
today, while she was sleeping—”

“He didn’t tell me he told you,” I stammered,
looking from Danial to Theo.

“Whatever,” Theo broke in. “Danial was most
likely on the phone in that same minute he hung up with Devlin,
arranging things.”

Danial’s eyes narrowed. “Yes, I was,” he said
curtly. “Everything is arranged. Sar and I will leave tonight, in
fact. You are to come here tonight to stay with Elle and Theoron.
Brian and Demi will go to your house to watch it for you and Sar.
We’ll be driving to the park. I need you to take her home and pack.
I’ll be by around seven, or so.”

“Thought so,” Theo said sarcastically.

“Theo, as much as you’re my best friend, as
much as I love Elle and know she’s happier knowing you, sometimes I
think it would have been better for Sar if Terian had kept his word
to you,” Danial said mildly. “If you had not come back, and had
stayed with Aspen, or Tasha. Sar doesn’t need the guilt you give
her. She has plenty of it all by herself. And I don’t appreciate it
either, nor your constant griping and belligerence.”

Theo drew back at Danial’s words, his eyes
wide, his expression deeply hurt. “How can you say that to me?”
Theo whispered. “I love you like a brother. After Sar and Elle, you
are the closest thing I have to family.”

Danial held me tighter against him. “I feel
the same about you. These past ten years, we’ve been closer than I
was to Devlin for the last four hundred. But Sar was mine before
she was yours or Devlin’s. I am guilty of nothing but loving her.
It isn’t wrong that I want to be intimate with her, or spend time
with her, as she and I used to do before she loved you. And as for
my rights in hearing about her condition before you did—she and I
are Oathed now, or did you forget?”

Theo sagged, all the fire going out of him.
“Look, I’m sorry, Danial,” he said quietly. “I know it might not
seem like it, but I am trying. It just seems that the more I try to
be okay with sharing Sar’s love, the more people I have to share it
with.”

“I don’t love Lash!” I said harshly.
“He’s—!”

“I worry that you’re going to decide you
don’t want to live with me anymore or be with me anymore,” Theo
continued. “I know I’m touchy sometimes, and my temper can be bad.
Now that you’ve had Lash....” Theo trailed off, then swallowed
hard.

“So what?” I said, not comprehending his
stricken expression.

“He’s were, like me,” Theo said.

“He’s not you,” I said emphatically. “He made
it pretty clear he dislikes me, and the feeling’s mutual—”

“But you enjoyed it,” Theo said pointedly.
“You came, right?”

I flushed and didn’t answer.

“That’s not important,” Danial said
scathingly. He held my gaze for a moment, then looked back at Theo.
“What is important is you coming to terms with her carrying another
dhamphir—”

Danial’s look had been curious and worried,
and it was nothing to do with what he was saying to Theo. Danial
knew as well as I did that I hadn’t ever come, or even been close
to climax during sexual relations when The Lust had affected me
before. Yet I’d come for Lash, a man I didn’t even like.
Why?

“I have come to terms with it, Danial—”

Lash had also succumbed to physicality, but
he was a man. Most men could separate sex from love easily. That he
was such a man wasn’t a surprise to me.

“—
I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted
it to be yours,” Danial finished.

Theo let out a deep breath. “It doesn’t
matter,” he said, resolute. “It will be Sar’s child, and I’ll love
it just because it’s hers.” He looked down at me, his eyes
emotional. “Just like you loved Elle, because she was mine.”

* * * *

Once Theo and I were on the road heading
home, he began talking. “You heard that Janice and Ivan are going
to mate later this summer, right?”

My face broke into a smile. Ivan, one of the
werefoxes, had lost his best friend and brother, Demetri, and his
lover, Suri, last summer. I’d been aware he’d found some comfort
with Janice, another werefox, in early winter but hadn’t known it
was serious. “I’m glad. I’d like to go.”