Pleasure Cruise (18 page)

Clare stopped at a clothing rack with leather lace-up bustiers. She fingered the outfits curiously, letting the smooth, cool leather occupy her hands while what Kira said occupied her thoughts. “You’re serious, aren’t you? You really slept with a vampire.”

“I’m dead serious… or undead serious,” Kira joked. “Clare, just be happy for me. I mean, he’s great. He’s rough at all the right moments and possessive. And he’s tender and sweet and… and I’m in love him.”

Clare read the truth in her friend’s eyes.

“Clare, there is something I really have to tell you, though. And I don’t want you to freak out, ‘cause I know how you are,” Kira began. Clare stared at Kira, watching her speak, but, as her words started, so did a loud foghorn overhead. Clare leaned in, hearing the words, “Dominik… lycan… forever… so… when… you… marked… understand?” The foghorns stopped. Kira smiled brightly at Clare. “So that’s everything.”

Clare opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

“May I help you?” Both women turned down to the little troll. He glared up at them. “You can’t just stand here, you must buy.”

“Sure.” Clare tried to keep a straight face.

Kira grabbed a lace-up leather thong with a matching string bra off the rack and thrust it at Clare. “Trust me. This is just the one to make him wild.” She fingered another article of clothing and her eyes lit up. “Oh, pleather! I think pleather should be a prerequisite for women’s wardrobes everywhere. I mean, you can wear it, sweat and it doesn’t smell or cling to you like leather and, as if that wasn’t enough, you can sort of wash it. I’m forgetting the most important selling point of it. It’s economical. I should really buy more pleather.”

“Somehow I don’t think that will be a difficult goal for you to live up to.”

“Hey, no need to be snippy. Maybe if you wore more pleather, your panties wouldn’t be in a bunch all the time. Oh, wait… I forgot that you’re not wearing any.”

Clare paled considerably.

“Hum.” The troll leaned forward to smell Clare, causing her to flinch. “Lycan, huh?”

“Ah…?” Clare looked at Kira, feeling helpless.

The troll sniffed Kira, “Ah, vampire.” Reaching forward to the rack, the troll picked out several outfits and handed them to the women. “You’ll take these.”

Kira smirked and made a face at Clare. “I guess we’ll take these. Most are duplicates for me, but a hell of a new look for you! Do you think I should get them a size bigger? How long is it before you show? With a big ol’ pregnant belly, I mean?”

“Not the ‘I’m pregnant’ bit again. I was with you when you got your last shots. Nice try. Come up with a better joke and I’ll promise to laugh. You pregnant by a vampire isn’t funny at all. You don’t know the first thing about babies. I’d have to tell you which end was up.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence and for just volunteering to be my new nanny. I’ll have you know that I can read and will buy every baby book out there.”

“Oh, the kid is screwed already. Don’t worry, baby, Auntie Clare will help out.”

Kira rolled her eyes and headed toward a wall of T-shirts. “These look more your speed, Auntie Clare.”

“Ha, ha.”

“You’re out of luck. They don’t seem to have any T-shirts with the phrase ‘I went on vacation and finally got laid.’ I could see if troll boy could hook us up with one.”

“Um, I think the troll thing is a girl. But while you’re at it, see if they have a coffee mug that reads ‘all I got out of my vacation was a dead husband and knocked up’.”

“Don’t make me strangle you with an extra-large T-shirt. I’d hate to actually have to the buy one of those hideous things—but I will.”

Clare frowned. “I kind of like them.”

“You so would.”

After picking up some jeans and ridiculous vacation T-shirts from the store’s limited non-lingerie section, Clare and Kira checked out. As Kira handed the troll her stateroom card to pay for the items, Clare grabbed a brochure about the cruise ship and began flipping through it. She was suddenly happy to have been shanghaied into coming along. The thought of almost missing out on Dominik pulled at her gut. The need to hug Kira for forcing her into compliance was great, and she couldn’t help but drape an arm around her best friend quickly, giving a tight squeeze, before concentrating on the brochure again.

Walking down the hall that led back to their room, Clare mumbled, “It says here they teach ballroom dancing from beginning to advanced. Cha-cha, tango, waltz…”

“That could be fun,” Kira said. “Though I don’t know how much time I want to spend… ah, joining the group activities. I think I want to relax with my new husband. This is a great honeymoon, don’t you think? I wonder what he’ll want to do tonight?”

“My guess is that he’ll want to spend time doing husband and wife activities? Isn’t bingo one of those things?” Clare teased.

“Nope. Horizontal hula.”

“Right,” Clare drawled. “I still can’t believe you married a vampire. No one back home will believe it either.”

“Do you think…?” Kira began. Her eyes turned sad and Clare knew exactly what Kira was thinking about—the death of her parents. She would not let Kira feel guilty for finding happiness with the most unlikely of men.

“No,” Clare’s voice was firm. “Those vampires who killed your parents were not Braden. They were renegades and they were staked long ago. I’ve seen the look on your face all morning. Your parents would be pleased that you finally found happiness and love. Don’t you ever doubt it.”

Kira nodded but said nothing. She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath before smiling. She looked around and then toward Clare. “Hey, does this hallway look different to you?”

Clare glanced up from the brochure and adjusted the bags on her arm. “I’m sure this is the way we came. See, there’s 2150.”

“Yeah, but I could have sworn the carpet was red, not blue,” Kira said.

“Oh, well, here,” Clare answered, reading her brochure. “It says here that the ship is mystical and changes at random. It must mean the decorations. Cool. I’ve got my fingers crossed that those ugly cherubs are gone from my room now.”

“I like the cherubs.”

“You would.”

“Are you sure we’re not lost?”

“No, it says here that the boat is mystical. I’m sure that’s what it means.”

Kira nodded, remembering Braden saying something about the ship changing to give them privacy even when outside.

“I wish I had this for my apartment,” Clare said. “Only instead of changing color, I’d want it to change from dirty to clean.”

“What? And confuse the roaches?” Kira teased.

“Ew! I don’t have roaches.”

“Might as well, your tiny apartment is sad enough. It sits above the world’s most disgusting pancake house. I swear, each time I use your bathroom I smell waffles. You really should move out. You deserve better and can well afford it.”

“It’s rent-controlled,” Clare said, as if that explained everything. She turned back to the brochure. “Hey, we can swim with sharks and giant rays. I hear sting rays are like underwater puppies when they’re tame.”

“Lovely idea, Clare. Sign me up for a lobotomy while you’re at it. I still have a few too many brain cells.”

“You’d never know it. You don’t use them,” Clare quipped, reading further. “It says for the sharks you’re lowered into the water in a large cage.”

“Great, I can hear it now. Here, fishy, fishy, fishy, come get your dinner—a cage full of stupid humans.” Kira snorted with laughter. Pushing the door to her stateroom open, she stepped in. The room was the same only the main color was blue, not red.

“Ha, ha, ha, you are too funny,” Clare stated dryly before giggling.

“That’s odd,” Kira said, sounding a bit perplexed. “Braden’s gone.”

Clare followed her inside the room, still reading. Absently, she said, “Maybe he went for a swim. It says here they have five pools and,
eww
, one of them is filled with slime. I’m sure that it has some sort of exfoliating quality but I think I’ll pass. Are you listening to me? Stop worrying about him. He’s most likely out for a walk or something.”

“He’s a vampire and it’s broad daylight.” Kira crossed over to the bathroom door and looked in. All her things were missing from the counter. She frowned. Walking to the dresser, she pulled it open. Her clothes were gone.

“Maybe he wants a bit of crispiness to his pallor,” Clare teased.

“Hey,” Kira said, obviously not listening. “What happened to my clothes?”

Clare laughed, crossing over to the door adjoining their rooms. “Serves you right. Not so funny when they do it to you, huh?”

“Clare,” Kira said, worried. She reached into the dresser.

“Maybe Braden’s with Dominik,” she offered.

“No, Clare, look.” Clare turned just as she pushed open the door. Kira stood at the dresser, holding a black lace negligee that had room for four arms and three breasts. “This isn’t mine.”

Clare heard a grunt and a snort. Turning, she looked into her room. A thick mass of grayish-purple lay there, gyrating. Tiny animal noises emanated from the enormous beast. It took Clare a minute to realize that it wasn’t just one creature lying on the bed, it was two. And they were having sex, or something that could pass as sex.

A purple tentacle shot out across the cabin and tried to go up and under Clare’s skirt. She screamed as she watched the repulsive creature pump the full length of itself into the grey blob below it. It was an Octopynanton Demon, she was sure of it. Her stomach lurched when she thought back to high school demonology class where she’d learned about Octopynantons and their mating rituals. They had a habit of stealing human females and turning them into like creatures with their semen secretions. By the looks of the grey blob under it, it wasn’t a pretty way to go.

Another tentacle leapt forth to probe beneath her miniskirt. It hit closer to home than Clare would have liked. She jerked back, kicking out at it. She hastened through the door and slammed it shut.
“Run!”

She and Kira automatically ran for the door leading to the hall. Opening it, they came face-to-face with the three-breasted, unearthly creature who undoubtedly owned the bizarre negligee they’d found. Kira screamed, prompting Clare to do the same. The creature leered at them and smacked her lips. It reached a clawed hand out and caught Kira by the arm. Clare dove forward and thrust her body into the creature’s center. It toppled backward and Kira was freed.

The side door burst open and the Octopynantons from the other room poured through. A band of eyeballs circled the large purplish male’s head. Each one moved independent of the others and all seemed to be ogling them in one form or another. Given no choice, Clare ran to the bathroom, followed closely by Kira.

Kira slammed the door shut and flipped the lock. “Help me,” Kira ordered. Together they moved a large towel cabinet before the door. “What in the hell were they?”

“I’m not sure. I think two were Octopynanton Demons, but the rest are anyone’s guess! I’m not going back out to ask them, so let’s just go with nasty and unfriendly.” Clare heaved for breath, frightened.

“Well, look in your damned brochure!” Kira yelled. “What are they doing in my room?”

“I’m looking,” Clare growled. She searched through her bag for the brochure. “It’s not like I’m the one who booked this hell cruise in the first place!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining when we were shopping for sexy garments to please your new fuck buddy.”

“Dominik is
not
my new fuck buddy. I can’t believe that I let you talk me into this. I can’t believe that I’m having this conversation with you when creepy funky things are trying to eat us. Didn’t you read the fine print before you signed us up for this?”