Just when Jordan was trying to give her best, Marcus placed both of his arms around her waist, stood up with her wrapped around him, and turned around to place her on the couch. Once she was safe and lying on the couch, Marcus inserted himself inside of her and took control of the action. With his immediate long strokes, Jordan could do nothing but throw her head back and moan. She had no idea that Marcus would be so well worth this sudden experience. She glanced up at the sweat that was glistening on his forehead and watched how he bit his lower lip, and it turned her on even more. Jordan wasn't expecting to orgasm, but it became obvious that Marcus was expecting her to. Before Jordan could even realize what hit her, her body was quivering and she was breathing heavily. She laid there, enjoying the last few strokes, before Marcus too came to a halt as his body clenched tight.
Wow
was all Jordan could think to herself. Marcus's body wasn't just false advertisement. That sexy, muscular, chiseled body was a fair representation of the man behind the image.
“I'm going to get us some water,” Marcus said as he walked to the kitchen.
Jordan lay there, not sure what to do next. She had never been in this situation where she'd had sex with someone she barely knew. Jordan had only had sex in her last couple of relationships;she didn't know how to engage in casual sex. She didn't want that to be too obvious so Marcus couldn't tell what a big deal the sex they just had was to her. Jordan knew she couldn't figure it out there, so she began to get dressed.
“I'm going to get going, Marcus,” Jordan said as she straightenedherself out.
“Are you sure? You are welcome to stay,” Marcus said.
“Thanks, but I have to go handle some stuff. I guess I am taking another day off, but I have to get some work done,” Jordansaid, laughing.
Jordan was hoping that Marcus couldn't sense her discomfort.She didn't want to appear that she had just been used or anything. She wanted to seem like the women that do stuff like that all the time, like it was nothing to her and she was capableof just brushing it off and going home. Jordan couldn't tell what was being conveyed, because her conscience was startingto set in, and she could feel the regret taking over. Inside she wanted to cry at how stupid she had been to go against everything she had ever known in the past hour. However, on the outside she seemed confident and looked beautiful. Maybe Marcus had been in the situation before, but he was able to sense that Jordan wasn't leaving with as much confidence as she came with.
“Jordan, I had a great time with you today,” he said.
“Me too, Marcus.”
“I really hope that what we did doesn't change anything.”
“Not at all,” Jordan replied quickly.
“Jordan, I know you're wondering if I'm going to think less of you or some 1950s thoughts like that, but I don't.You're grown and I'm grown.You're sexy and I'm sexy,” Marcus said with a giggle. “There was no need to play games, in my opinion.I would still love to spend time with you, getting to know you better.”
“That's fine with me,” Jordan replied.
Jordan knew that Marcus wouldn't understand exactly what was going through her mind, so she just decided to leave it at that. She made her way out the door and down his block toward her home, remaining calm. Jordan was feeling strange. She had very mixed feelings about what just happened. One thing was for sure: That was exactly what she needed physically.Mentally, that was another story.
20
“I
'm just a little too old to hate being home alone,” Jordan said aloud.
She was looking in the mirror, facing someone she hadn't faced in a long time: herself. Jordan had spent so many years chasing her dreams, she hadn't slowed down to get to know herself. Since she was in high school, Jordan was the “relationshiptype.” She only had three childlike relationships before she got married to Omar, whom she had been with since college,and now Jayon made five. At the age of thirty-four, Jordanhad spent all of her adult life working on a relationship and not herself.
As Jordan stared back at herself in the mirror, she realized she was finally facing her biggest fear: being alone. She knew it was kind of pathetic, and she didn't want to admit it, but regardlessof how much she denied it, she hated being alone. Who would think such a young, beautiful, successful, independentwoman like herself would have this flaw? Regardless of what those around her saw, Jordan had several insecurities and fears that she tried to hide. Most of them stemmed from the relationships Jordan saw in her own family: her parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings. Jordan was no stranger to infidelity and the sight of someone growing old alone, and althoughJordan was still fairly young, she knew she didn't want to live that life. Still, as Jordan stared into her light brown eyes in the mirror, she was saddened by the sight of the life she was living. She was living a life of not only fear but destruction; she couldn't expect to possibly be a good mate when she was in it for the wrong reason. She never realized it before, but that wrong reason was comfort and security from the world of dating,from the possibility of growing old alone.
Jordan took her lavender washcloth and rinsed her face. She wiped the tears away along with all the day's dirt.The scent from the fresh linen-scented candle burning above her toilet was beginning to reach her nostrils, and she inhaled and exhaled slowly. Jordan looked back at herself in the mirror and stared into her own eyes dead on. She just stared for several seconds, blinking.
“It's time for a fresh start, Jordan Moore,” she said to herself.“It's time for a new Jordan.”
Jordan looked back at herself to see if she was serious. The longer she looked into her own eyes, the more she liked what she was hearing.
“It's time to stop being afraid of what may happen, and what people think; it's time to live in the moment and step outside your box.”
The sight looking back at Jordan began to look stronger and more serious.
“You have spent all your life playing by the rules, putting your heart on the line, and it's time to make your own rule book.”
Jordan wiped her hand over her face and looked back at herself once again.
“That's it, starting today. I'm going to love me and take the world by storm.”
She remembered the guy Alan she just met the other day while she was at lunch with the girls, and she decided to make a phone call to someone new. Jordan flicked off the light besidethe mirror and walked out of the bathroom. She headed into her bedroom toward her nightstand. She grabbed her BlackBerry and began looking through her address book for the number of that lawyer she'd just met. She scrolled down through the Ts looking for Timothy, and after a few pushes, she found it. She got ready to dial it when she paused to think about what she should say. “Hi.When you first tried to talk to me I gave you the wrong number, but now me and my boyfriendthat I left my husband for broke up, and I'm available.” She wasn't quite sure that would come across right. As she tried to think of a better opening line, she asked herself what she was doing.
Calling some new guy, adding another guy to the equation,was only going to confuse things. This was her problem now, always needing a man's companionship to get by. What Jordan needed was some time to herself, to enjoy herself. She just didn't know why that was so difficult for her. Hell, she should love herself as hard as she worked on herself. For some reason, though, Jordan always desired a man's love to feel complete. Maybe it was because it was all she had ever known. Jordan knew when it came to her self-esteem she was as confident as they come, which was the reason she never settled for less in life or with her career. Jordan chose to be in a relationship rather than just be out there. She was more content settled down with one person, enjoying them. She wished she could change that about herself after she spent an entire day crying her eyes out over Jayon, and she wished she could change how her anger toward him allowed her to sleep with Marcus, who she barely knew. At that very moment, she wished that she was built for it.
Jordan made her way downstairs to make a cup of hot chocolate to soothe herself. She hadn't spoken to Marcus since yesterday after she left, although he did call her a few hours after. She just wasn't quite ready to talk to him and have the uncomfortable conversation that she was expecting. She and Jayon hadn't spoken either in a few days. He too called once or twice, but Jordan didn't even bother to answer, because she knew that he didn't have anything to say to her that would really make a difference. At the end of the day, it was time for Jordan to move on; she was too old to subject herself to a relationship that she knew wasn't going anywhere. It was one thing that they probably weren't getting married, but she couldn't bear the cheating. Not from Jayon, not from someone she gave so much credit.
Jordan sat on her couch with her hot chocolate and kicked her feet up. Jordan had officially taken the week off. She hadn't been to the office all week, although she spent a few hours respondingto e-mails and phone calls. Jordan needed this time off anyway, but this week more than ever, she didn't need to be in the office, distracted and cranky.
She heard the phone ring the first time, but she didn't budge; she didn't feel like it. Then, after the third ring, she leaned over and grabbed the cordless off the cradle. She expectedit may be a telemarketer, but when she looked at the caller ID it was Tayese.
“Hey, missy,” Jordan said.
“Hey, stranger,” Tayese replied.
“I know, I been out all week, I've been such a loser,” Jordan said and laughed.
“I know you ain't been sulking at home like a high school girl.”
“Yes and no. I had some crying nights, but I have also been clearing my head, relaxing, and catching up on some work.”
“You stayed home every day this week?”
“Except the one day I went to visit my new neighbor.”
“Visit?”
“Yeah, visit.”
“What new neighbor?” Tayese said in the “spill it” tone.
“Marcus ... he moved in about a month ago. We met one day while I was running.”
“OK ... sooky sooky now,” Tayese said. “And here I was worried about you getting over Jayon.”
“Marcus is not solving any of my problems; he just helped me get through this week.”
“How did he help you?”Tayese said, trying to tease Jordan.
“Chile, don't ask.”
“Jordan! You didn't!”
“Tayese, I did!” Jordan said with a snicker.
“Wow, you are really trying to get over Jayon, huh?”
“Yes, I am, but I wasn't expecting that to happen, in all honesty. We were there just talking, and next thing you know, I said fâit.”
“Wow. I'm still in shock. You are the last person I would expect to do something like that.”
“I know. I am still shocked myself. I'm a little regretful of the decision, but he is so fine and he gave it to me so good.”
“What are you regretting it for? You are grown and single, and you needed a quick reminder that Jayon is not the world. What in the world are you regretting? Especially when you said it was good. Girl, you bugging.”
Jordan and Tayese laughed for a few seconds before they redirected their conversation. Twenty minutes later, they were off the phone and Jordan was watching television. Jason was supposed to be coming by later, so she was relaxing for the couple of hours she had before she had to get ready to take him to Dave & Buster's. It seemed that the more time that went by, the more Jordan became comfortable with what she had done with Marcus. The reality was there was no taking it back, so she had no choice but to get used to it.
21
R
elieved to finally have found a parking spot, Jordan hurriedlygrabbed her purse from off the passenger seat, and hopped out of the car. She reached in her black clutch and pulled out her Oh Baby Mac lip gloss to refresh her gloss. The cool air whisked the hair on her head slightly out of place, and as Jordan quickly walked down the street, she tried to finger comb her hairstyle back into place. The noise and chatter from all the people walking down Twenty-third Street in midtown, along with the sounds of horns and mufflers, was just a reminderto Jordan that she was in for a night of chaos.
As Jordan got closer to the front of the club, she pulled her BlackBerry out and began to send her girlfriend Tayese a text. She was supposed to be meeting her there, but she hadn't spokento her since they both alerted one another that they had reached the city. Once Jordan completed her text asking Tayese for her expected time of arrival, she looked up and noticed she was only a few doors away from the club. Not wanting to appeartoo startled, Jordan tried to ignore the man and woman standing beside her in front of a closed clothing boutique, engrossedin a passionate kiss. As if the sight wasn't enough, Jordancould hear the spit swapping and moaning coming from the two. She didn't know if they were two strangers that just walked out of the club or they were a happily married couple, but she knew they needed to get a room. Jordan just passed them by without trying to look too hard and ended up standingin front of the club. Jordan glanced down at her phone and noticed that she had missed a call from Tayese. She hit the CALL button and began calling Tayese back, hoping that she was close by.
“Hey, I just called you,” Tayese said the instant she answeredher phone.
“I know, I must not have felt my phone vibrate. Where are you?”
“I'm a few doors away from the club.”
“Where?” Jordan said as she turned around to look behind her.
“Ill,” Tayese said through the phone just as Jordan spotted her walking down the street in her navy blue dress and pumps.
“I know, get a room, right?” Jordan said, laughing as she saw Tayese scurry past the horny couple toward her.
As Tayese came within feet of Jordan, they both hung up their cell phones. The gentleman standing beside Jordan moved aside so that Tayese and Jordan could have a bit of personal space.
After Tayese noticed the guy, she mouthed to Jordan, “You can stay, cutie.”
Jordan laughed at Tayese's silly comment as she too tried to get a glance of him. From Jordan's facial expression, Tayese could tell that she agreed with her offer. The gentleman was about six feet two with a well-built frame, brown skinned with thick shaped eyebrows, plump lips, and almond-shaped brown eyes. He wore khaki pants with a white and tan button-down and some tan sneakers, but it was the tan front-snap hat that added that extra flavor to him.
Jordan had turned her eyes away from the guy and looked back at Tayese. Once their eyes met, they both giggled at their similar thoughts.
“So you ready to go in?” Jordan asked.
“Yup, let's go,”Tayese said.
Jordan walked up to the front, gave her name, and informedthe bouncer that she was on the guest list. The bouncer spoke with a short Latin man regarding Jordan's comments, then the bouncer let Tayese and Jordan in.
They began to walk by the bouncer when he said, “Is he with you?”
Jordan looked back, and the fine brother in tan was standingbehind Tayese. Jordan looked at him and told the bouncer, “Yes, he is with us.”
The three of them walked by the bouncer without saying a word to each other. Once on the other side of the door, the short Latin man approached all three of them and gave them silver bands to put on their wrists to identify their special guest status with the security throughout the club. The short Latin man walked them by the cashier and toward the area where the other silver-banded guests were.
“Thanks,” Jordan said to the man.
Tayese and the gentleman had been following behind Jordan.Neither of them appeared to have sparked a conversation yet; they were probably waiting until they settled. Jordan spotteda love seat and immediately headed toward it. Tayese and the stranger in tan followed along, and they all sat in the chosenarea.
“So ... nice to have you join us,” Tayese was the first one to comment.
“Thanks for having me,” the young man responded with a giggle. “My name is Donovan.Yours?”
Tayese and Jordan both gave their real names and shook hands with Donovan.
“So were you planning to party alone tonight?” Jordan asked. “We don't want to cramp your style.”
Donovan chuckled. “Not at all. My friends went to the wrong club and are on their way here.”
“Oh, OK. So for the time being we are just fillers so you don't look lonely in the club?”Tayese asked with a smile.
“No, you both are just a pleasant treat to start the evening off.”
“Well, we are glad to be of service, Donovan,” Tayese said.
Jordan minimized the smile that had been on her face duringthe cute banter between them, and she stood up.
“Can I excuse myself for two seconds? I just want to say hello to a few people,” Jordan said.
“Sure, but hurry back. I know how you can do,” Tayese said.
“I'll be right back.”
Jordan walked away toward a crowd of people chatting by the bar. She made her way through a couple of people dancing to the blaring music and past a security guard. Jordan approachedthe men and women by the bar and random chatter ensued. After giving hugs and kisses to everyone, Jordan and the group began laughing and chatting about the club and other business gossip. After a few moments went by, Jordan looked over her shoulder at Tayese and Donovan, who seemed to be engulfed in their conversation. Jordan remembered that Tayese warned her not to take too long, and she told the folks by the bar she would be back shortly, then headed back to her seat.
Once she sat back down beside Tayese and across from Donovan, the two of them shifted their attention toward her.
“Was that quick enough?” Jordan asked.
“Yeah, wasn't that bad,” Donovan answered.
Not expecting Donovan to have answered, Jordan looked at Tayese for her approval.
“That was better than usual,” Tayese said to Jordan. Then she looked toward Donovan and said, “I hate going out with her sometimes, because she bumps into so many folks and they start holding these long conversations, and I just feel like grabbingher by her hand and pulling her away.”
“It's not like that, Donovan. She is exaggerating some,” Jordansaid, defending herself.
Donovan just laughed at his displacement in the debate. “I wouldn't have a problem going out with you,” he added.
Jordan's eyebrows crinkled, showing her confusion. She wasn't sure if Donovan was flirting or just making a general comment. So instead of playing herself and commenting back, she just giggled it off.
“Who was that over there anyway?” Tayese asked to ease the awkward moment.
“That's Tony and some other people from Bad Boy. One of their artists performed here earlier,” Jordan answered.
“Oh, that's cool,”Tayese replied.
“What do you ladies do, if you don't mind me asking?” Donovan interjected.
“We are both attorneys,” Tayese answered. “Jordan and I specialize in entertainment and corporate law, and I also dabblein matrimonial and labor.”
“Wow,” Donovan replied. “You are both attorneys; that is impressive.”
“Thanks,” both ladies replied.
“So if I'm trying to start a business, you could be of service to me?” Donovan asked Jordan.
“I should be able to be of help,” Jordan replied.
“Can I get your business card?”
Jordan reached in her clutch, pulled out her business card, and handed it to Donovan.
“This is a very interesting business card,” Donovan said while still studying it.
The business card was made of a matte grayish black card stock with pink raised writing.
“Yeah, I hear that a lot. I wanted them to be personalized to me, and I like black and pink. Plus, I'm interesting.”
“I hear that; I guess when you head your practice you can have whatever type of card you want,” Donovan said after noticing the firm's name included Jordan's.
“Pretty much,” Jordan responded.
By this time, the club was getting more and more crowded, including the area that Jordan, Tayese, and Donovan were sittingin.
Donovan looked down at his phone and said aloud, “Oh, they called me like ten minutes ago and been texting me.”
“Oooh, they going to get you,”Tayese responded.
Donovan began to text his friends back. “I know, I was so consumed by our conversation that I didn't notice,” he said as he continued typing in his text message.
“You're going to let them know where you are, or you're going to go meet them?”Tayese asked.
“I'll have them join us if you don't mind,” Donovan said.
“That's fine,”Tayese answered.
For a few moments, they all just sat back in silence while Donovan typed on his phone and Tayese sipped on the drink that the waitress had brought her while Jordan stepped away. As they sat there enjoying the sounds of DJ Bobby Trends, Jordan'seyes followed all the scantily dressed girls walking by. It seemed that as the years went by people wore less and less to the clubs. Jordan had on a purple and black spaghetti strap minidress with some purple pumps, and she felt dressed for winter compared to what some of the other girls were wearing.Jordan realized fast that if that's what the guys were lookingfor and that's what she was up against, she didn't stand a chance.
Moments later, two guys were approaching the love seat where they were sitting. Jordan looked at the two gentlemen, and neither one of them were hard on the eyes at all. She looked over to see if Tayese had noticed them, and sure enough she had. One was a light-skinned guy, maybe five feet eleven, medium build with a low ceasar haircut and hazel eyes. He was dressed in jeans and a black and gray rugby shirt with black Prada sneakers. His friend was dark skinned with brown eyes and a smile to die for. He was about six feet tall with a muscularbuild; he had a nicely trimmed mustache and beard that bordered his full lips.
As they came closer, Jordan noticed a few nearby women checking them out as well. As Jordan scooted back to let them walk by, she noticed them slowing down. They stopped in front of Donovan and smiled at Jordan and Tayese.
Donovan and the two gentlemen exchanged words and pounds. The ladies realized at this point these were the friends that Donovan had been waiting for.
Tayese looked over at Jordan and said, “I thought only bad things come in three.”
They both laughed and tried not to seem so obvious that they liked what they saw. Being that Tayese strutted her single status, having never been married and having no children, her radar was always on high alert. Jordan, on the other hand, had been there and done all that, but as a newly single woman, she knew what she was missing and was just as open to finding good company.
By the time the fellas had finished their chatter, Tayese and Jordan had started a conversation of their own. Donovan apologizedfor interrupting before he introduced his two old friends to his two new friends. The light-skinned one was Eddie, and the brown-skinned one was Tremaine. Pleased to meet them both, Tayese and Jordan shook their hands.
For the next few minutes, the girls were engaged in the conversation they were having before they were interrupted, and the guys seemed to be laughing at how Tremaine and Eddie ended up at some other club. Out of nowhere, this guy came and knelt down in front of Tayese and Jordan and started a conversation.
“I'm trying to figure out why both of you two gorgeous ladies are sitting down,” the guy said.
“Just enjoying the music,” Jordan responded.
“What about you?” the guy said to Tayese.
“Same. Haven't been here that long.”
“Well, can I have the pleasure of a dance with you?” the guy asked.
From the look on Tayese's face and her discreet glance in Donovan and his friends' direction, it seemed as if Tayese didn't want to necessarily dance just yet, and not with him per se. However, she didn't want to be rude. The guy wasn't half bad-looking,either, and for all she knew Tremaine, Eddie, and Donovan could have been gay, so she wasn't ruling anyone out. Tayese handed Jordan her purse and made her way to the dance floor with the guy.
“Your girl left you,” Donovan said as soon as Tayese was beginning her two-step.
“Yeah, it's okay. I'm a big girl; I can handle myself,” Jordan replied.