Playing for Keeps (15 page)

He was struggling to control his frustration. She was his now. He needed affirmation that she trusted him. She should be able to tell him anything.

No matter how unsure he had felt about allowing another to touch her, he had arranged the afternoon for her benefit. He had hoped that she would enjoy herself and come to realize how submissive her personality was. He had hoped that by leaving her with another woman, a Domme, she would be feel safe, more able to relax and let go. Madam had been full of glee as she had regaled him with tales of Cassie’s fevered response. She had sung her praises and had even sounded envious that he had found such a responsive sub. He wished he had been able to witness her shed her inhibitions and his cursed himself for not arranging to be able to view the activities. Now he wanted to hear from her own lips exactly how she had felt.

“I’m sorry….” Cassie offered a tentative apology, obviously self-conscious. She was unable to look at him and she buried her face against the sofa’s seat.

An apology! He had expected more from her and he felt the disappointment deep in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to hear about her day. To hear what she had experienced and how she had felt. Tension gnawed at his gut and he was determined that he would get her to open up. Prior to the weekend, he had only had a vague notion that she wanted to be dominated. She had certainly become more vocal when in the throes of passion, but still he wanted more. He needed her to verbalize what she felt and to tell him exactly what she wanted.

The afternoon’s events must have taken her out of her comfort zone. Behaving as she had done today would have previously been out of character, yet she wasn’t looking distressed in any way. With his encouragement, she was starting to explore her natural submissive nature. But then he admitted he had deliberately brought her here for the weekend in an effort to reveal the desires she had not been able to share with him. She had experienced the rush that submitting sexually gave her and he wanted to her to continue to feel that euphoria and more. He wanted to explore more of her fantasies. But in order to do that she’d have to open up and share what her fantasies were.

He loved that she was finally releasing her inner sex kitten. However, he was annoyed that she wouldn’t open up and give him the details of the experience she’d had at Mistress De Silva’s.

“No, baby. I’m sorry.”

He tried to soothe by rubbing gently up and down her back with one hand as the other subconsciously made small circles on her backside.

“I shouldn’t have left you in a position where you were unsure of my wishes.”

He felt like shit! She appeared okay and for that, he was grateful, but he promised himself that he would never again leave her alone in a position which left her vulnerable and which he hadn’t discussed with her first. He leaned across to place a small kiss at the back of her neck, whispering in her ear “I’ll make sure I never put you in that position again, unless you want me to.” He shuddered, “Talk to me Cassie. Tell me how you felt.”

“Are you angry with me?” She still faced away from him and he could hear the tremor in her voice.

“Oh God, baby! No.” He reassured her as he flipped her over onto her back so that he could look at her. “I’m not cross with you for the act itself, but I have to admit I’m irritated because you won’t talk about it.”

“Talk about it! Matt I’m embarrassed…. Why would you want to hear about my experience with someone else?” She looked confused and embarrassed. She studied the back of the leather sofa and traced the stitching patterns with her fingertips.

“Because, I arranged it,” he told her bluntly. “It was meant to be a treat for you. I need to know I didn’t make a mistake and that you enjoyed the experience.”

Her eyes widened and her gaze roamed over his features.

She looked shocked. “What do you mean you arranged it?”

“As I said, sweetheart. I arranged it.” He held up his hand to stall her when it looked like she was going to interrupt him. “You were always wanting to role-play, or asking for domination in a round about way. How was I meant to know whether or not you meant it?”

She looked stunned, but for once, he felt in control.

“I asked Madam to test you to find out if you were truly submissive or just playing at it.” He shouldn’t have had to ask anyone else. If she had been more open with him, he would have known exactly what she wanted.

“You… You asked her to test me?” She didn’t sound at all happy with him and he began to wonder if she had not enjoyed her time with Madam after all.

“What choice did you give me, Cassie?” He felt edgy and his muscles bunched tight as he fought to control his irritation at her lack of co-operation. He stretched his arms above his head, flexing his fingers in an effort to relieve the tension. When she attempted to sit up he brought a hand down and quickly slapped her leg. “Keep still. Stop fidgeting.”

“You’re a fine one to speak of choices! What choice did you give me today?” Her tone turned belligerent.

“You had plenty of choice. You could have put a stop to it all anytime you wanted. All you had to do was safe word. I made sure Madam knew exactly what your safe word was.”

“Well, I didn’t know that!”

“I told you last night, you hold all the power. We even agreed on your safe word. How could you forget so quickly?”

“I… I… thought that was only for our use. A part of our game.” She sounded forlorn.

He wanted to kick himself because he obviously hadn’t explained things clearly enough. However, she had to take some of the blame. He couldn’t be expected to read her mind. The tension in his stomach bit and he vowed to be more patient with her.

“Look at it from my viewpoint for a minute, sweetheart.”

His breathing was slightly labored as he struggled to control his exasperation. “If you won’t tell me what you want, how am I supposed to know? Today was purely an exercise in trying to understand you better.”

“An exercise you say. Well you try exercising with some strangers’ finger up your ass!” she yelled.

She looked agitated and he watched her closely as he tried to work out why. He had to consider that she had not enjoyed her time at Madam’s. However she had shown no distress earlier so, he discounted that idea. He was convinced that she had been satisfied in the little scene he had set up. It dawned on him that her demeanor had changed when he started to ask her questions. She was still fighting him, still refusing to open up. Now she was trying to goad him into a fight, maybe hoping he wouldn’t force the issue. He refused to take the bait. He was determined that this time whether she liked it or not, they would have a meaningful discussion about her needs.

He clasped her face between his hands. “Look at me,” he coaxed. “Tell me how it felt.”

Stubbornly she remained silent. “Cassie, I’m not going to ask you again. Tell me what you were feeling.”

“I can’t…. I’m too embarrassed.” Now she sounded tearful.

He sighed deeply. He hated that he was upsetting her by refusing to let the subject go. Bile burned his stomach at the sound of her distress, but he couldn’t give up. How could they have a meaningful relationship if she couldn’t be honest with him? “Cassie, if you can’t talk to me, how am I ever going to know what you want?” His hands crept around to cup the back of her head and he leaned in and kissed her hard.

She was panting and breathless when he raised his head and finally released her lips. Frustrated and getting nowhere, he raked his fingers through his hair. He was going to have to try another tack. He looked at her laid out across his thighs. Her hair fanned out around her flushed face as she eyed him warily. Determined not to give up, he grasped her hands and held them tightly. “Okay, sweetheart, let’s try something different. I’ll ask a question and you answer. A straightforward

yes or no, will do for now.”

She nodded in response.

“Say it!”

“Yes, Matt.” She kept her eyes downcast and did not meet his gaze.

“Master, sweetheart. I am your Master,” he reminded her firmly before he posed his first question.

“Did you have a good time today?”

“Yes.” Her response was barely above a whisper.

“Did it feel good?” He kept his voice calm and his tone even. He wanted to get through to her, not alarm her.

“Yes.” This time her response was slightly stronger.

“Do you want to do it again?” He prayed she said no. He had arranged the scene for her benefit but he hadn’t been comfortable with his own feelings of jealousy. However, if it was what she wanted, then he would ensure that her needs were met.

“What?” Her voice had risen and she looked at him as though he had gone crazy.

“Yes or no answers only, sweetheart.” It was going to be a long night!

Indecision flashed across her face before she slowly shook her head. She stared straight at him and mouthed, “No.”

He had to wonder, why not. Weighing up the next question to try to draw her out, he spoke slowly. “Did you enjoy the anal play?”

She flushed and bit her lip then nodded her assent all without looking at him. He placed a fingertip under her chin and raised her head. “Say it.”

“Yes.” He could barely hear her. At last, he felt like he was getting somewhere. “Would you like to experiment a bit more with anal play?”

“Not at Madams!” she quickly bit out. He struggled to contain his smile and the feeling of elation that soared and quickened his pulse. By her quick response, she had revealed that she was not averse to a little more back door play, but only with him, if he had judged her answer correctly.

“Would you be willing to let me take your ass?” His voice was a low growl as he imagined his cock gripped tight by her virginal hole. The thought of being the first to plunder her untutored muscle turned him on and he felt his cock start to stir.

She didn’t seem able to verbalize her need, but she nodded her head in agreement and he groaned in response.

“Sure?” He asked, giving her an out if she wanted to change her mind.

“Yes. Please,” she whispered softly. His heart nearly stalled as he wondered what other forms of play she would like to experiment with.

“Do you like pain?” He knew she enjoyed a spanking and she had responded well to the nipple clamps. He wondered how much pain she needed.

“No!” Her answer was unequivocal and took him by surprise.

“Sure about that, sweetheart?” he queried, “I seem to remember a hell of a lot of screaming last night when I spanked you, and I’m sure it wasn’t because you didn’t like the pain.”

For a moment or two, she said nothing, and he calmly waited for her answer. Consternation flickered across her face before she asked nervously, “How much pain are we talking?”

His spirits soared. She was finally starting to talk to him and he was sure that now he would find out what she really desired. “However much you need, sweetheart.”

“How will you know how much I need?” She was panting softly when she asked, “What do I do if I don’t like it.”

“You tell me.” He told her firmly. The weight of responsibility he had accepted did not pass him by and he prayed that he could meet all her needs. “It is also the reason we agreed on your safe word. You will only have to use it and I will stop whatever we are doing immediately.”

“So… you’re saying… I tell you what I want and you deliver. It’s as easy as that?” Her eyes wide, she looked at him hopefully.

“No!” Not a bloody chance was she going to lead him around by the balls. “I’m saying… you talk to me. You tell me what you like. We agree on your soft and hard limits, those areas of play you are willing to experiment with and those that you aren’t.”

“Oh….” She looked disappointed.

He threw her a wink. “If I know what you desire, I will ensure that all your needs are met.” He leaned closer and whispered, “But, make no mistake, I am in charge. I will decide if and when your desires are satisfied.” He looked her straight in the eye. “It’s all dependent upon your behavior.”

She pouted but did not reply and her petulant stare reminded him that she was due a reprimand. “I’ve still got to punish you for your carry on today.”

“What! You said you arranged that.” She glared at him, “You said you didn’t mind.”

No, but he bloody well did mind having to drag answers out of her. Life would be so much simpler once he trained her to be more open. He felt like he had been put through a wringer during their question and answer session. After all the arguments they had had over role-play, the last thing he had expected was that he would have to fight her to find out about her fantasies.

“Correct, I didn’t mind. It was all arranged with your pleasure in mind. What I do object to, however, is having to force you to be open with me. For that you deserve to be punished and maybe in the future you will do well to remember this lesson.”

Without further discussion, he flipped her back onto her stomach.

“What are you going to do?” She wriggled across his lap caressing his erection with her motion. “Are you going to spank me?”

“No, but I am going to claim your asshole.” He was firm in his intent. “Madam says you’re definitely anal responsive, but also an anal virgin. Well, not after tonight.”

He was feeling possessive. She was about to present him with something that she had given no other. “I will take what belongs to me and give you the pleasure that you obviously need. You belong to me now, Cassie. No other man will be allowed to claim what’s mine.”

Cassie was taken by surprise at his determined tone. She tried to raise herself from across his lap. He held her down with a firm hand across her back and a short, sharp slap to her behind.

“Keep still.” His voice was ragged.

“You deserve to be spanked. Do you know that?”

Her breathing stalled with excitement at the thought. “Yes, Matt.” She tried to answer meekly and atone for upsetting him, but couldn’t keep the excitement from her voice as she thought of another spanking.

He continued as though she had not replied, “Not because you gave in to your desires, but because you weren’t open with me about your desires.” He lowered his tone until his voice was almost a caress against her skin, but she could still hear the upset in his voice. “How do you expect me to take care of your needs if you don’t tell me what they are?”