Plain Return (The Plain Fame Series Book 4) (21 page)

Chapter Nineteen

The message on her voice mail sounded urgent: Dali demanded to know when Amanda was returning to Miami. Amanda knew it wasn’t polite to ignore the message, but she didn’t have an answer for her assistant. She felt no obligation to return to Miami during a time when she had been scheduled to accompany Alejandro in South America. Her schedule was empty, so Dali had no reason to make such requests, Amanda told herself. Besides, the weather had finally turned for the better and the last thing Amanda wanted to think about was leaving the farm.

She sat at the picnic table with Anna, helping her fold the dry laundry. Overhead, the warm afternoon sun shone in the vibrant blue sky. A gentle breeze kept the air cool, and the birds darted back and forth over the fields, hunting for small bits of straw and grass to use for their nests.

Amanda’s phone sat on the edge of the table as she waited for a message from Alejandro. She knew that the tour had finished over the past weekend, and she figured he had certainly flown home on Monday, Tuesday at the latest. But it was now midday on Wednesday and she still had not received any word from him.

An orange barn cat strutted by, its tail waving in the air, and Isadora jumped down from the picnic table to chase it. Her bare feet ran through the grass, carrying her in the direction of where the old tomcat had disappeared.

Amanda watched her daughter turn the corner of the house. “Spring is the best season on the farm,” she said, more to herself than to Anna. “God’s gift for us having survived the winter,
ja
?”

“Oh,
now
you say that, Amanda,” Anna replied, a teasing tone to her voice. “But I don’t recall that you were the one shoveling snow from the walkway or driveway!”

“Mayhaps not this year,” Amanda laughed in response. “But I’ve still shoveled enough to make me appreciate the springtime.”

Setting down the dress in her hands, Anna sighed and stared at Amanda. There was a wistful look in her eyes, one that displayed a mixture of emotions. “It has been nice having you home these past weeks,” Anna said. “Such a shame you must be leaving again.”

Amanda placed the shirt she had just folded on top of the laundry in the basket and reached for another, smoothing out the fabric before starting to fold it. “And when I return to the farm, you’ll have your
boppli
!”

The mere mention of her baby caused Anna to lay her hand on her protruding stomach. It was hard for Amanda to believe that there was a baby inside her sister’s belly. When she was growing up, she learned from an early age that pregnancy among the married Amish women occurred so frequently that some were pregnant every year for a decade. But this was her sister, not just
any
woman in the church district. After all that their family had been through, Amanda couldn’t help but feel protective of her.

As if reading her mind, Anna changed the subject. “It’s hard to believe that it was round about this time last year when Daed wanted us to leave for Ohio.”

“No!” Amanda gasped when she realized her sister spoke the truth. “It
is
hard to believe. So much has happened. For both of us!”

“Oh for sure and certain, for both of us,” Anna agreed. “But more so for you than for me.” She put down the dress she had been folding, letting it fall onto her lap in a crumpled heap. “What an adventure you have lived, Amanda. And I’m truly not surprised. You always did have a touch of wanderlust.”

“Wanderlust? Oh, that’s not so!” Whether her sister spoke the truth or not, Amanda couldn’t say. But she didn’t like hearing such things said about her.

Anna laughed. “Oh
ja
, you did. Why, you always thought traveling would be right
gut
fun!”

“Oh, Anna!” Amanda shook her head. “To Harrisburg,
ja
! But not to foreign countries that I didn’t even know existed!” They both laughed, knowing that there was a bit of truth to both their claims. “Besides, I was always happy on the farm.”

Anna shook her head. “
Nee,
that’s not so. Especially after Aaron passed . . .”

The sound of Isadora’s laughter rang out from the barn. Amanda looked in that direction and saw that she had found Jonas, who now accompanied her as they left the dairy barn and headed toward the house.

“But we all know that you’ve sacrificed so much to help Daed,” Anna continued. “Even before Aaron passed. You never should have felt guilt over Aaron’s death or about . . .”

Amanda knew why her sister couldn’t finish the sentence. While Anna loved Jonas, she still felt the pain of being abandoned by the man she had thought she’d marry, just weeks before their wedding was to be announced.

“And now,” Anna said, changing the subject, “you have a man that you love and a daughter that you adore!”

This time, Amanda smiled. “I do, Anna. I truly do.”

“And the travel!”

Making a face, Amanda rolled her eyes and pretended to collapse on the picnic table, which made Anna laugh again.

“Speaking of Daed,” Amanda said, glancing up at the sky as she tried to gauge the time. “They should be back from physical therapy soon,
ja
?”

“I reckon so, unless they stopped at the cafeteria at the hospital. Does Daed some good to get out of the house a spell. Mamm, too.”

Just then, they heard the sound of car tires on the gravel. Amanda looked up. “Must not have stopped after all.” She glanced at her sister. “You going to finish folding that dress? That’s the third time you started and stopped!”

Anna looked up, realizing that Amanda spoke the truth, and they both laughed as Anna quickly folded it and tossed it into the basket.

A black car pulled around the side of the barn. Amanda squinted at it, wondering who might possibly be pulling in. After all, her parents had left in a wheelchair-accessible van that morning, Lizzie fussing over Elias as the driver helped secure his chair in the vehicle. The car that now parked in the driveway was clearly not transporting her parents.

And then it dawned on her.

“Alejandro!”

She tossed the shirt onto the picnic table and slid out from the bench. Running as fast as she could, she practically jumped into his arms when he emerged from the car’s backseat. She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him, laughing and crying at the same time. With his arms around her waist, holding her tight, she felt as though she could finally exhale, as if she had been holding her breath for the past two and half weeks.

He placed his hands on her cheeks and stared into her face. “You are radiant, Princesa,” he breathed. “As beautiful as the sun in the sky.” Not caring that Anna could see them, Alejandro kissed her lips and Amanda let him.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much.” When he tried to pull away, she wouldn’t release her hold on his neck, and he laughed, swinging her around. “You never contacted me. I didn’t know when you were coming!”

“I’m sorry. You know how busy it gets,” he said. “Besides, you were rather diligent about letting me know how you were doing.” He gazed into her face, his blue eyes flickering back and forth as if he was studying her every feature. “And I am here now.”

“I see that.” Amanda laughed through her tears. Absentmindedly, she wiped at them, still finding it hard to believe that he was there, on her parents’ farm, and holding her in his arms. “I was worried when I didn’t hear from you.”

“Worried?” He didn’t have any time to inquire further about this as they were interrupted by the sound of laughter coming from the barn. Alejandro looked over his shoulder toward the doorway, just in time to see Isadora follow Jonas and Harvey outside. The two men shouted their hellos as they approached.

“Just in time for afternoon chores, I see,” Jonas joked, reaching out to shake Alejandro’s hand.

Before Alejandro could respond, Isadora ran to Amanda, a small orange kitten in her hands. “Look,” she demanded.

“Oh help, Izzie! That kitten is too small to be away from its mother. Let’s go put it back,
ja
?”

Harvey held up his hand. “Permit me.” Without waiting for Amanda’s response, he reached down and scooped Isadora into his arms, talking softly to her about the kitten as they headed back into the barn.

It was only when Amanda glanced at Alejandro that she realized Isadora had not only neglected to greet him, she hadn’t even noticed he was there.

The look on his face said it all.

She didn’t have time to say anything, to explain that Isadora hadn’t known that he was coming and probably hadn’t seen him because her excitement about the kitten had been too great.

Jonas and Anna invited him inside. They were eager to hear about the rest of his South American tour, as the stories of the different countries were fascinating to them, despite their vow to shun worldliness. As Jonas and Anna escorted Alejandro inside, Amanda trailed behind them, eager to have a moment alone with him and to reassure him that all was well, but knowing that, given her family’s emphasis on togetherness, that moment would not come anytime soon.

Chapter Twenty

Isadora leaned against Amanda’s leg and stared, wide-eyed, at the cow. Her long hair was tied in a messy bun just above the nape of her neck, and she wore a tan dress with small green flowers on it. Lizzie had made it for her from the fabric Amanda had purchased in town just a few days prior. The dress quickly became a treasured possession for Isadora. She insisted on wearing it every day, forcing Amanda to wash it at night if Isadora had dirtied it. One morning, when it hadn’t dried yet, Isadora had refused to budge from where she waited on the porch in her nightgown, and she’d sat there, cross-legged, until it was ready for her to wear.

Now, Isadora was absorbing everything that Amanda did to the cow. It wasn’t the first time that she had clung to Amanda’s side and watched the way cows were milked. But today was different. Today Amanda had promised to let Isadora try to milk the cow herself.

“Me now?”

Amanda nodded. “
Ja
, if you want.”

She opened her knees so that Isadora could stand between them, and Isadora braced herself against Amanda’s right leg. Leaning forward, Amanda guided Isadora’s hand to the udder of the cow and helped her to wrap her small fingers around the teat.

Squealing, Isadora quickly withdrew her hand and pressed against Amanda.

“Feels funny,
ja
?” She tickled Isadora’s neck. “Try again, Izzie?”

The next attempt resulted in the same reaction. Giving up on Isadora’s hands getting any milk flowing, Amanda took over. “Like this. Rolling the milk down with your fingers, not squeezing.”

Harvey walked by and glanced over the back of the cow, looking first at Amanda and then at Isadora. Because Jonas had taken Anna to a doctor—At last! Amanda had thought—Amanda had offered to help with the afternoon milking.

“Not working for you, now, is it?” he said with a wink at Isadora. “Might be that she’s broken?”

Amanda pretended to look surprised, gasping dramatically at Harvey and turning to look at Isadora. “A broken cow? Oh help! We’ll need lots of Band-Aids, don’t you think?”

She felt, rather than saw, Alejandro watching her, his presence too large to go undetected. She wondered how long he had been standing there, leaning against the wall, hidden by shadows. After his unexpected arrival the day before, and his obvious disappointment in the greeting he had received from both her family and his daughter, Amanda had done as much as she could to shower him with attention after Isadora went to bed.

But when the sounds of crying filtered down the staircase and into the main room of the
grossdaadihaus
, Amanda had excused herself and gone to calm Isadora, who wasn’t used to sleeping in the small upstairs bedroom by herself. By the time Amanda finally returned downstairs, Alejandro had already gone to bed and fallen asleep. He hadn’t even stirred when she slipped under the covers, curling her body around him. The sound of his deep breathing gave her enough satisfaction, for she knew that sleep was the one thing he needed more than anything else. Amanda pressed closer against him, putting one arm around his waist and her cheek against his shoulder, and listened to the sounds of Alejandro sleeping. She vowed to make it up to him the following day.

He hadn’t awoken until almost noon, a fact that had not escaped Lizzie’s attention.

“Sure knows how to sleep,” Lizzie said while she washed garden dirt from her hands at the kitchen sink.

“Mamm!”

Lizzie raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips, that all-too-familiar disapproving look on her face. She’d said no more as she merely walked over to Elias and unlocked the brakes on his wheelchair so that she could take him outside for a breath of fresh air.

Nothing more had been said about Alejandro sleeping late. Amanda knew better than to make excuses for her husband; her mother wouldn’t understand, and the rest of her family didn’t particularly care. But when he had finally risen and entered the kitchen for coffee, Amanda could tell that his mood was not greatly improved from what it had been the previous day.

Now, as she continued to milk the cow, her cheek pressed against the bovine’s rump, Amanda pretended not to know that he stood there watching her. She felt her heart race, anxiety coursing through her body, as she hoped that his silent surveillance meant that his mood had improved. Usually, it meant that he was deep in thought, the act of observing others a mask that obscured whatever else was going through his mind. He’d address her when he was ready, and Amanda knew that there was no point in pushing him.

Beside her, Isadora draped her body over Amanda’s knee and giggled when Amanda squirted a little milk toward her bare toes.

“She should wear shoes out here,” Alejandro said, finally making his presence known.

Amanda looked up, feigning surprise at seeing Alejandro leaning against the rough-hewn wall, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Gut nochmidawk!”
she said, a happy smile on her face. “It’s a beautiful afternoon,
ja
?”

Isadora grabbed at Amanda’s skirt, swinging back and forth as she sang
“Gut nochmidawk!
Gut nochmidawk!”

Amanda laughed and reached over to embrace the child. “That’s right! Good afternoon to your
daed
,
ja
?”

At the mention of her father, Isadora glanced over to where he stood, and Amanda followed her gaze. He hadn’t laughed at his daughter nor did he smile at Amanda. Instead, he seemed deep in thought, his eyes focused on them, but his mind centered elsewhere.

“Come, Alejandro,” Amanda said, gesturing with her hand for him to join them. “Show Izzie that you know how to milk the cow. Maybe then she won’t be so afraid,
ja
?”

To her surprise, he did as she asked. Amanda stood up and motioned toward the stool and was even more surprised when he accepted it.

Amanda knelt down and gently leaned against him, her side pressed against his thigh and Isadora quickly settling into her arms. Amanda watched the girl’s face as she peered up at the man she knew as her father in name only. There was a mixture of curiosity in Isadora’s eyes as well as a yearning to feel love and a tendency toward fear. With the comfort of Amanda’s arms around her, Isadora leaned against Alejandro’s leg, too, and let herself relax just enough to watch what he was doing.

The stream of milk hit the side of the metal pail, the little tingling sound causing Isadora to jump a little. Amanda thought she saw a hint of a smile on Alejandro’s lips. When Isadora realized what had happened, she clapped her hands and demanded more.

“Let her try,
ja
?”

Amanda took Isadora’s hand and placed it in Alejandro’s, pausing just long enough for the three of their hands to be united. She held her breath, waiting to see what Alejandro would do, especially when she withdrew her own fingers, leaving father and daughter hand in hand.

He coaxed Isadora to touch the cow’s teat one more time, only this time he left his hand on top of hers and helped her to roll her fingers downward so that milk streamed into the bucket. Isadora did it again, this time needing less pressure from her father. Delighted, Amanda watched as Isadora lifted her blue eyes and sought his.

But if she sought approval, she received none.

Instead, Alejandro cleared his throat and stood up, his abrupt action almost knocking Amanda to her knees.

“Alejandro?” she asked, questioning him with her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

He pointed toward Isadora’s feet. “Shoes,” he said and turned around, walking away from both his wife and his daughter, giving no reason for his sudden departure.

Amanda watched him leave, wondering what she could have possibly said or done that upset him. She had noticed his quiet mood, a mood that felt heavy and oppressive as it lingered between her and Isadora, like a heavy fog in the fields behind the barn on a muggy spring morning.

“¡Vaca!”
Isadora cried out, reaching toward the cow.

“Nee,
Izzie
,”
Amanda said, redirecting her own attention to where it belonged: on the five-year-old. “Cow. Can you say ‘cow’?”

“¡Vaca!”
she insisted to Amanda, a mischievous gleam in her blue eyes.

“Cow!”

Isadora giggled again and buried her face in Amanda’s leg, mumbling “cow” into her skirt.

Forgetting about Alejandro and his moodiness, Amanda started to laugh and wrapped her arms around the little girl. Only, she didn’t think of her as a little girl; she thought of her as her daughter. “Aren’t you the sneaky one,
ja
? You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you?” To her delight, Isadora threw her arms around Amanda’s neck and hugged her. “Oh, Izzie!” she said as she inhaled the sweet scent of innocence in her arms. “I just love you so much!”

“Mammi,” Isadora whispered, squeezing Amanda as tightly as she could.

The word took Amanda by surprise, and for a second she thought she had misheard the little girl. After all, over the past month, Isadora had not called her anything at all. To Amanda, the sound of that word was sweeter than any other. If her heart had swelled with emotion for Isadora before that moment, now she felt as if it would burst open. In that moment, Amanda knew that she felt more love for Izzie than ever before.

Fast on the heels of that realization came another: Alejandro.

A chill ran through her body, and her arms felt tingly and cold. Amanda looked over Isadora’s head and stared at the place vacated by Alejandro less than five minutes before. She could still visualize his eyes, the expression on his face as he observed them interacting with each other by the side of the cow. He had watched them, and he had known exactly what Amanda had just learned.

“I’m leaving for Los Angeles,” Alejandro said, his voice flat and emotionless.

“When?”

He hesitated, darkness clouding his face.

“Alejandro?” Amanda had just tucked Isadora into her bed and returned to the kitchen. Her body ached, and she felt tired. Juggling Isadora’s clinginess and Alejandro’s dark mood had simply worn her out. Now this announcement? Just one more thing to worry about, she thought.

“Tomorrow.” The muscles tightened in his jaw. He was clenching his teeth, another indicator that his black mood from earlier in the day still lingered.

“When will you be back?”

This time, he frowned. “I have obligations, Amanda. The European tour starts in two weeks.” His words were stilted and curt, as if he chose them carefully.

Europe. She had forgotten about Europe. The idea of leaving Lancaster to travel around another continent, of being chauffeured from one place to another, and of living off barely a few hours of rest at each hotel was less than appealing to her. Added to that was the advent of spring, which was just around the corner. The days were already warming up, and life was returning to the farm. She wanted to share those moments with Isadora, to show her the first crocuses and let her watch the newborn kittens grow and play.

Clearly, her lack of response spoke volumes. Alejandro’s eyes never left her.

“I expect you to join me, Amanda.”

The fact that he had not called her Princesa was another hint of his displeasure. He normally only used her given name when discussing serious matters, especially when she accidentally did something wrong. But she simply couldn’t imagine why he spoke so firmly now. What had she done that could possibly have upset him? “I thought we agreed . . .”

His eyes narrowed, and the anger in his expression caused her to abandon her sentence.

“No, Amanda. We agreed not to be apart, no? We said ‘never again.’ Yet you are the one who unilaterally decided to leave Miami, to return to Lancaster. You are the one who wants to stay here rather than travel with me to Los Angeles.”

She gasped at the hard tone in his voice. “I didn’t . . .”

He held up his hand. “Stop, Amanda. Don’t say that you did not do these things, because you did.”

“That’s not fair!”

“No!” His voice boomed in the small house, and he took a step toward her. “What is not fair is this,” he said with more control in his voice. He gestured in the air, making a wide sweep of the room. She glanced in the direction he indicated and saw the wooden toys on the floor near the sofa as well as the pieces of a chunky puzzle that Isadora had not finished.

“She’s your daughter,” Amanda said, lifting her chin as she met his eyes. “And mine, too. You had me sign those papers, Alejandro. You asked me to become her mother.”

“Mother,
sí
! But not convert her to Amish!”

She gasped, her hand instinctively covering her chest as if suddenly wounded. “Alejandro!”

He pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. Running his hands through his hair, he looked upward as if searching for something. “Amanda,” he finally said. “I need you.” She could see that he struggled to remain calm. “I
need
you with me. And you know that.”

“And I want to be with you.” She stepped forward and touched his arm. “You are all that I want, Alejandro. I love you so much that I have to remind myself that God must come first.” She tried to smile. “And God does not want our daughter to be abandoned while we traipse around the world. Nor does he want her growing up in the spotlight with late nights and sleeping on planes.” She paused. “She is just a child, and she needs stability.”

Pulling his arm free from Amanda’s touch, he glowered at her. “Stability?”

His reaction surprised her. “She lost her
mother
, Alejandro.”

“You are being condescending,” he retorted, the anger rising in his voice. “I know that she lost her mother, Amanda. I am not an ignorant
pobrecito
! But I did the right thing, and that shouldn’t mean that I must now lose my wife!”

“You’re not losing your wife!”

“If I leave here without you,” he said, his eyes narrowed and lips pressed tightly together, “what, exactly, do you think will happen between us?” His expression told her that she traveled down a road full of hazards. His next words told her that there would be no recovery if she took the wrong turn. “I can assure you,
Princesa
, there will be no happily ever after.”