Plain Return (The Plain Fame Series Book 4) (10 page)

“You should go with Jonas,” Anna said to Alejandro and then, as if an afterthought, she quickly looked at her husband for approval. “What say you, Jonas?”

Before Alejandro could respond, Jonas nodded. “Oh
ja
, sure! Why that would be right
gut
! Jake’s to sell three of his horses, and I told him I’d help. An extra pair of hands would be appreciated, I’m sure.”

Amanda waited, wondering what Alejandro would say. She knew how busy he was. The fact that he’d arranged for this short visit had truly taken her by surprise. She suspected he would need to spend the majority of his time making phone calls, answering e-mails, and resting before they left for South America.

Once again, he surprised her.

“Unless Amanda has other plans for me,” he said, “I’d find that most interesting, Jonas.”

“
Vell
all right, then!” Jonas seemed genuinely pleased that he would have Alejandro’s company. “The driver’s picking me up after morning chores. Won’t be too early for you?”

Alejandro laughed. “I’ll manage,” he said, taking the bait. “I’ve been known to awaken before dawn. Right, Princesa?”

Amanda was stunned by the instant camaraderie between the two men, who seemed the most unlikely of brothers-in-law. She knew that Alejandro was a master at making other people feel ten feet tall. But he seemed genuinely comfortable as he sat on the sofa and talked with Jonas, Anna, and Elias—for he was always considerate enough to include Elias in the conversation. Lizzie’s lack of contributions to the conversation did not surprise Amanda, but Alejandro seemed unfazed by his mother-in-law’s obvious disapproval regarding Amanda’s choice of a husband. He continued conversing with the others and occasionally asked Lizzie a question. Whenever she gave a one- or two-word answer, he accepted that and moved on to another topic.

At four o’clock, Jonas excused himself to start on evening chores. Alejandro stood up and, without even changing his clothes, followed Jonas outside. Amanda could hardly believe her eyes. She felt impressed by his ability to adapt to whatever situation presented itself. Whether in this case that came out of his love for her or his true love for people, she did not know. She only knew that he was a special man and that God had blessed her when he put her in the path of Alejandro’s limo that day in New York City, a day that seemed to have happened a lifetime ago.

After the sound of the two men’s footsteps on the porch faded, Anna looked at Amanda. “Seems like things are going right
gut
with you and Alejandro.”

Amanda nodded her head and gave a soft smile. “Life with Alejandro is different, I must admit.”

Anna clicked her tongue. “Such travel!”

“
Ja
, the travel is different,” Amanda admitted. “He works so hard with so many demands from every which way!” There was no way that Amanda could explain all of the different people who pulled at Alejandro: singers, producers, sponsors, endorsers, promoters . . . the list was endless. And she knew better than to mention how the paparazzi and fans followed her. Her mother, especially, would not approve. “But we are together and I wouldn’t change anything for the world.”

Lizzie sighed, her mouth downturned at the corners. Even without Amanda telling the whole story, her mother still disapproved. “There’s just no questioning God’s plan, even when it’s something that on the surface doesn’t seem to make sense.”

Amanda glanced at her sister, and Anna gave her a reassuring look.

While Amanda knew that her decisions to leave the Amish way of life and forgo joining the church were unpopular with her parents and the community, her decision to leave with and then marry Alejandro was equally as upsetting. The holiday scandal had not helped, either. Even the bishop had learned of Alejandro’s public “indiscretion” through the ever-present media and their love of spreading bad news. Even though his former manager, Mike, had admitted that the leaked photographs of Alejandro in another woman’s arms were invented, Amanda suspected that ultimately Lizzie’s willingness to forgive was stronger than her ability to forget.

“And Harvey?” Amanda asked, changing the subject so that they headed down a less arduous and more conversational path.

Anna inhaled sharply. “Oh, Amanda,” she said. “What would we do without Harvey? Why, Jonas and Harvey are such a
gut
team. God sure was blessing us when Alejandro hired him. No matter the weather, he is here each day. If it gets too awful outside for him to go home, he just stays in one of the spare rooms.”

“Sleeps on the sofa, most oft as naught,” Lizzie said. “Not much of a bother, that one.”

“And Daed!” Anna’s face lit up. “
Vell
, let me tell you that Harvey sure does take
wunderbar
care of Daed. Ain’t so, Daed?” She waited for her father to respond. When he didn’t, she leaned over and peered at him. “Is he napping, then?” Without waiting for an answer, Anna hurried over to Elias. Seeing that his head was tucked down, his chin resting on his chest and his long beard covering the front of his shirt, she put her finger to her lips. “I’ll put him in the bedroom,” she whispered.

Lizzie dried her hands on a dish towel and tossed it on the counter. “Let me help.”

Left alone in the kitchen, Amanda stood up and walked around, listening to the sounds of Lizzie and Anna pushing the wheelchair over the threshold of the bedroom and getting Elias out of it and into bed so that he could nap properly. It amazed Amanda to see how in control Anna was of the situation. She had truly blossomed since returning home with Jonas to tend to her parents’ farm. Or rather, Amanda thought, her and Jonas’s farm. Certainly it would be passed down to them, and rightfully so. How fortunate, Amanda thought. She gazed out the window at the dark fields, where a light cover of melting snow contrasted white against the plowed rows. If nothing else, certainly Elias took comfort in knowing that, after all of his years of hard labor and love, the family farm would be passed down to the next generation, even if it went from father to daughter instead of from father to son.

“Oh, how he likes his afternoon nap,” Anna said cheerfully, shutting the door to the bedroom behind her. “Ain’t so, Mamm?”

Lizzie didn’t return to the sink but instead sat down in the sitting area that was off to the side of the kitchen. She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “That he does, Dochder.”

Amanda left her spot at the window and sat down next to her mother. “How is Daed, then? Really, though. Is he improving any?”

Her mother’s response startled her. “
Nee,
not much, Amanda.” When she saw Amanda’s expression, she quickly added, “Not in the area of will, I reckon. His spirit is broken, and he doesn’t try like he might. That’s what the physical therapist says, anyway.”

That was not good news. Without the will to try or the spirit to believe, recovery would not improve, that was for sure and certain. “I’m sorry to hear that,” Amanda said softly. “I had thought things were looking up, Mamm.”

Lizzie patted her knee. “Nothing for you to worry about, Amanda.”

“But I do worry.”

Lizzie shook her head. “I rather think that you are enjoying your life as a newly married woman,” she said. “Even if you are married to an Englischer.”

“He’s Cuban. Not quite the same thing.”

“Not quite the same thing in a better or worse way?” Lizzie asked this in a light tone, as if teasing, but Amanda suspected that her mother’s question wasn’t an idle one.

“Aw, Mamm!” She shook her head. “In a much better way!”

Anna laughed and even Lizzie chuckled.

“Oh, Amanda.” Anna joined them, sitting down in the rocking chair for a few more minutes of respite before it was time for her to help their mother prepare the meal. “Spoken like a true woman in love,
ja
?”

The color flooded to Amanda’s cheeks, and she couldn’t help wishing that, for once, she could manage to mask her emotions. Yes: she was a woman in love. She just wasn’t certain she wanted her sister to know just how much she loved Alejandro. And how she fed off his emotions for her. Anyone who saw Alejandro or listened to him talk would be able to understand that he filled up the empty places in her with a love so strong that it almost hurt. A painfully good love, she thought, for she often realized that her heart ached for him in a way that she knew—simply, irrevocably knew!—no one else had ever experienced. No other woman had a love like the love she shared with Alejandro.

Lifting her eyes, she looked at her sister and smiled a soft and knowing smile. “Aren’t we both lucky, Anna?” she said. “And isn’t love just a
wunderbar
gut
thing?”

Chapter Nine

Anna and Amanda sat at the kitchen table in the
grossdaadihaus
, drinking coffee and nibbling on sugar cookies, a favorite of theirs. Lizzie had baked a few batches earlier that morning. Since Alejandro was more than willing to help Jonas with the farm chores, something that secretly pleased Amanda, the two sisters found themselves with an opportunity to visit privately.

“So tell me, when is the
boppli
due?” Amanda dunked her sugar cookie into her coffee.

Anna made a face. “That’s so disgusting. How can you eat the cookie like that?”

Amanda laughed. “You always said that to me. It just tastes
gut
to me. And makes the coffee sweeter.” As if to prove her point, she bit the damp edge of the cookie.

Anna shuddered and made another face, which caused Amanda to laugh again. It felt like old times: the two sisters sitting at the table and sharing a snack while they talked. Over the years, many a secret had been shared between them over cookies and a hot drink. When they were younger, however, the drink had usually been tea or hot chocolate. They’d shared stories about what they really thought of the Sunday sermons or about how they heard that one of the older girls in their
g’may
had ridden home from a singing in a buggy with a neighbor boy.

They’d also shared secrets about what they hoped for in life. And while they both had said the same thing—to live a godly life—they both had also aspired for more: home, husband, and children. While neither Amanda nor Anna would have suspected that their lives would change so dramatically after the tragic death of their baby brother, in the end, they seemed to have gotten everything that they’d wanted. Or, Amanda thought, at least one of them had.

“You didn’t answer my question, Anna,” she prodded.

“Oh
ja
, the
boppli
.” Anna’s voice was soft as her hand rested on her waist’s slight bulge.

There was a look of pride in her eyes, a glow that conveyed how much she wanted this baby. Amanda remembered the moment not so long ago when Alejandro had suggested that she might be pregnant. While excitement about the unknown had been quickly followed by disappointment over the truth, Amanda harbored no resentment or envy toward her sister.

“I reckon July or so,” Anna said. “Mayhaps late June; I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?” Amanda stared at her sister. “You haven’t seen a doctor yet, then?”

A nervous laugh escaped Anna’s lips and the color rose to her cheeks. “Oh, now you sound just like an Englische person, Amanda! Running off to the doctor right quick!”

The way that Anna said
Englische
, as if she’d spoken of a disease, struck Amanda.
Assimilation into the world is not contagious,
Amanda wanted to tell her. It was a choice: one that she had made because of her love for Alejandro. “You say that as if it’s such a bad thing, Anna,” Amanda said with caution in her voice. “I’m sure there are plenty of Amish women who rush to midwives or even doctors.”

“
Ja vell
, Jonas and I talked, and we just feel like God will take care of us.” Anna averted her eyes. “No need for fretting over what may or may not happen. What is the purpose of going to a doctor, anyway? To tell me what I already know?”

Stunned, Amanda worked hard to maintain her composure. “There’s nothing ungodly about having a doctor look after you,” Amanda said. “Or even a midwife so that you can plan better.” Then, to soften her words, she added, “Why, I’d be at the doctor right quick if I suspected I was pregnant.”

Anna smiled. “See? You’ve turned into an Englischer.”

Amanda didn’t respond. Instead, she took a long sip from her coffee cup. Had she really changed so much since she’d left the farm? Was the change so distasteful that it must create a divide between the two of them? The last thing she wanted was to exchange unkind words with her sister. It had been years since they had last quarreled, and after the past few years of hardship and sorrow, Amanda certainly didn’t want to engage in an argument with her now. Like most Amish did, she merely shut down in the face of conflict and did not speak further on the subject.

Anna must have sensed that Amanda was finished with the previous topic, so she finally spoke, launching into a new conversation. “What about you, Amanda? It’s been five months,
ja
?”

The reminder hurt. Five months of marriage to Alejandro, and she still wasn’t pregnant. She had made up her mind that if she hadn’t conceived by the time the concert tours were finished, she would see a doctor to make certain nothing was wrong. In her mind, obeying God’s plan did not mean that she couldn’t see a doctor. But she didn’t say this to Anna. “Five months,
ja
,” she affirmed. Five long months, she added to herself. While she loved Alejandro and felt happy with their marriage, even if she knew it was not conventional, she felt a wave of remorse over her lack of conception.

“And . . . ?”

Amanda shook her head and swallowed the last bite of her sugar cookie. “Nothing.” She sighed. Considering all of the weight that she had lost and the long days filled with appointments and interviews, Amanda hadn’t been surprised when her cycle eventually arrived, just two weeks ago. Disappointed, yes. But, in hindsight, not surprised. “Maybe this month,
ja
?” She smiled at her sister.

“God willing,” Anna said softly. “I’ll keep you in my prayers,
Schwester.”

Amanda knew that the matter of becoming pregnant was in God’s hands. She fought the urge to ask him why she wasn’t pregnant yet. Oh, how she wanted a baby—Alejandro’s baby! She wanted to share the love of a child with her husband, to see his eyes glow as he looked down into the face of their
boppli
. While she knew that, once they had a child, his schedule would not change, at least not much, she also knew that she didn’t care about that. As long as she could hold their child in her arms and sing soft hymns while the baby nursed from her breast, Amanda would be happy. Besides, she had been raised in a culture where it was mostly the role of the women to care for the infants and always without complaint.

“Danke,
Anna
,”
Amanda whispered. “And I, you.”

“My turn for a question,” Anna said, changing both the tone and the subject of their conversation. “I read in your letter to Mamm that you are going to South America.” Something sparkled in her sister’s eyes. “Aren’t you afraid, Amanda?”

“Of what?”

“Oh now! You sound surprised!” Anna leaned back in her seat and played with the edge of her napkin. “You must be a little frightened,
ja
?”

In that moment, she looked like the Anna from their childhood: young, fearful, reserved. Amanda felt a sudden epiphany as she realized that, while she had changed over the past year, her sister had not. The differences between their lives had created a gap between them. Amanda’s world was so different now and her future so unclear that she found it difficult to explain to Anna what she truly felt.

“Nee,
Anna
,”
Amanda finally said. “I’m not frightened. It’s not like you imagine. These places are just cities. Like Philadelphia or New York.”

Anna shuddered.

“Well, maybe not exactly like those places,” Amanda added, knowing that Anna’s experiences with those cities did not extend beyond the train stations they’d passed through when their parents had sent them to Ohio the previous year. “And with Alejandro . . . oh, how can I explain it, Anna? It’s not truly Englische life.”

“It’s certainly not Amish life.” Anna lifted an eyebrow.

Amanda ignored this remark and sought the right words to help her sister understand. “His life is . . . different, Anna. As different from the Englische as we are from them. Wherever we travel, there are people who take care of us. His fans adore him, and there are very few places that we can go where people do not recognize him and crowd him. So it isn’t as if we will travel to these places and see the sights very much. I’ve come to learn that travel with Alejandro is a lot of time spent on airplanes or in cars, being transported to new locations, and lots of appointments. It’s pretty much the same, wherever we go.”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a life, Amanda.”

On the surface, Amanda would have agreed. But Anna was forgetting one important element: Alejandro.

“I can’t explain it,” she sighed. “I wish that I could, but I can’t.”

Amanda knew that Anna loved Jonas. When she and Anna had been in Ohio and Amanda had wanted to return home, she had seen the glow on her sister’s face. Like most Amish youth, Anna had remained quiet about the source of that glow. But Amanda hadn’t needed to speculate too much. She had seen the way Jonas Wheeler had stared at Anna during the youth singings and gatherings to which their cousin had escorted them. And when Anna began to “disappear” instead of ride home with them afterward, Amanda had known that her sister was secretly being courted by Jonas.

But as it did for most Amish people, their courtship revolved primarily around God and community, not a romantic love. Amanda assumed that Anna and Jonas hadn’t shared a passionate kiss in the buggy on the way home from getting ice cream or danced to provocative music as Amanda had with Alejandro. Certainly Anna had never awoken in Jonas’s arms and traced the outline of tattoos on his chest while he slept. And there were no private jets, two-story penthouses, yachts, or paparazzi in the story of their marriage. There was no explanation of her life that Amanda could give that could possibly help her sister understand.

In the moment of silence during which Amanda realized this, it also dawned on her that Anna might very well be thinking the same thing. The choices that they’d made had changed their lives, and with those changes, the bond between them had also been altered. Still, that didn’t mean that they were no longer sisters or, just as important, friends.

“Ja vell,”
Anna finally said, breaking the silence. “I still think traveling to South America sounds very exotic, Amanda. I imagine jungles and colorful birds! Like in that book we both read as children.”

“The
I Spy
book?” Amanda remembered it well. When the book was opened, each two-page spread showed a different scene with dozens of items hidden in the photo. Each time she and Anna had looked at the pages, they had spotted something new. The beach scene intrigued Amanda the most, for she had wanted very much to stand on the beach in real life—the end of the world as far as she was concerned—and stare out across the sea. Back then, she hadn’t been able to imagine water that stretched far beyond the horizon. Sometimes she had pretended to be standing in that picture book, digging her toes into the sand, her shoulders bare to the sun. Yet when she had stared at that book during her childhood, she had never once even considered the possibility that she might actually get a chance to view both the beach and the horizon from the deck of a yacht.

Alejandro had ensured she could no longer claim such a thing. He had taken her to California and driven her to the ocean, then had actually taken her out on the ocean. He seemed to know every longing that she had, even the secret ones that she would never express.

“I am quite certain it’s nothing like that book,” Amanda said. “Colorful birds and spotted jaguars don’t buy concert tickets.”

They both laughed, the tension from their previous discussion slowly dissipating.

Amanda felt, rather than saw, Alejandro enter the room. As Anna’s eyes flickered in the direction of the door, something changed in her expression. It wasn’t disapproval that Amanda saw there; it was more like a wall surrounded Anna, as if she were guarding herself from outside influences. The familiarity of her reaction struck Amanda. Hadn’t she, too, been that way around the Englische not so long ago? She remembered conjuring up a similar response upon meeting Alejandro for the first time after the accident in New York City. He and his warm smile had made an unforeseen entrance into her hospital room, and Amanda had immediately felt the same way as her sister seemed to now.

“Ladies,” he said, by way of greeting. He stood in the doorway and cleared his throat.

“Back so soon, then?” Amanda stood up and hurried across the floor to meet her husband. “How was the horse auction?”

He let her kiss his cheek and nodded at Anna. “Horse auction was interesting.” He reached down and let his fingers entwine with hers. “Beautiful creatures, those horses. Jake Edwards has raised some of the best. At least it looked that way, from the bidding that went on.”

“Raised some
gut
money, then?” Anna asked and then continued talking before Alejandro could answer. “I’m not surprised. He tends to those animals like none other. Oh, I wish we could have gone!”

Amanda, however, was glad that she could spend a little time alone with her sister. Even though they were together over the holiday, they hadn’t really been able to visit at the time. Not like today. And considering how busy Alejandro’s tour schedule was for the next few months, Amanda didn’t know when she would be able to return to Lancaster again.

Everything here was so comforting to her. And familiar. She wanted nothing more than to bottle up the feeling of everything she loved about being home with her family and take it with her. If only she could do that, she thought, life would be perfect.

“Amanda,” Alejandro said when there was a break in the conversation. “Might I speak with you a moment?”

“Is everything all right?”

He had used her name. Not Princesa. Not
mi querida
, but her name. That always indicated something of a more serious nature.

“
Sí
, fine, but I need a moment.”

Amanda gave Anna an apologetic look.

“I should be going anyway,” Anna said in her quiet voice, the one that reminded Amanda of the barrier that stood between them. She stood up and pushed her chair back under the small table. “We’ll visit more later,
ja
?” Without waiting for an answer, Anna walked toward the door, forcing a smile as she passed Alejandro.